Submit your FML story
- - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
- - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
FML, the follow-up
Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.
Today, my cat was yowling and meowing pathetically outside my door, I checked she had food, water, and she followed me back up to my room. She nestled down on the radiator behind my desk, then threw up all over it. The cat sick is stuck inside the radiator, and it smells just lovely. FML
Thebozman's comment about their FML
Yeah I'm OP, just to clear things up...I am English and 'sick' is a fairly acceptable synonym for vomit (the noun). My cat is NOT stuck in my radiator, it just puked in it, I'm 16, is it so unacceptable to have a family cat in the city? Oh, and yes, I was being sarcastic :P
See all the comments
Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML
michelleccali's comment about their FML
Ok, yes I am a teenager. The reason I was so upset over him not doing anything for our 6 months together was because he made sure I got him a present, and told me a bunch of times that he was planning something fun. So he got my hopes up for nothing. Then when I got sad about it, he got mad at me and pretty much ignored me.
See all the comments including 2 other original poster's reactions
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight. Instead of taking me home like he told me he was going to, he pulled up to the gas station, gave me $6, and asked me to go pay. As soon as I walked inside, he threw my bag out the door, and drove off. FML
dayumm_shawtyy's comment about their FML
alright. lets get a few things cleared, i never cheated.
and he was already my ex boyfriend, we were just trying to work things out.
he got pissed off because i told him i was done with his bullshit mind games, and if he couldnt make up his mind i was out of there. he couldnt handle the truth. then thats when the yelling started.
the guy turns 19 in 5 days. i think every girl can agree he needs to grow some balls and handle things like a man, not a little kid
See all the comments including 14 other original poster's reactions
Today, my boyfriend's mother called me. She assumed that I bought him a PS3 for Christmas, and she and the rest of his family have only purchased him games to go with it. The thing is, I already got him an expensive gift. Now, I have to scramble to come up with the money to get this for him instead, and save the coat I bought for his birthday. FML
countrygirl0118's comment about their FML
HI AGAIN I'M THE OP! first off the coat is nonrefundable, and I got him it because we do live in a harsh area and he has to walk to work wearing a million sweatshirts at the moment.
second, no he doesn't live with his folks, we live together so in a way it would be for me too but i thought the coat had a more pressing need.
third, i had discussed with his sister and his brother in-law that no, i was not getting him a PS3 until his birthday because blistering cold takes precedence over playing games. AND i had said if you really want to get him a game that's fine, but he won't be able to use it til February.
THEN his mother called me, and told me about them all buying him games. I said to her on the phone, "I've already bought him a nice coat and was waiting til his birthday for the game system." She then said, "Oh, well I knew that, but we knew you'd probably want to get him the system too since we've all bought him games." One game is okay, but everyone buying him a game makes it look ridiculous and then he'll have all these games and not be able to use them for 2 months.
ALSO i don't want to fight with his mother. This is the first Christmas I'm spending with them and on top of it his dad has bone marrow cancer and lymphoma and has chosen to stop his chemotherapy treatments, so this may be the last Christmas they all have as a family. So I'm not going to cause a fight.
FINALLY, all you who commented calling me spineless, maybe you should learn to reserve comments like that considering that sometimes you cannot fit all of the story into the text space provided. But I guess your bad behavior must be a product of your upbringing. Very poor manners.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
See all the comments
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend's crazy ex, who let herself in with her old key. She screamed at me to get out of "her" bed, snatched "her" blanket off of my body, and finally dragged the bed itself out the door. I was still in it. FML
jellyfish_ftw's comment about their FML
this is my big explanation, so pay attention.
the whole situation came about because my boyfriend was trying to keep the breakup friendly since they had a kid together, and he wants to stay in his daughter's life. therefore, he hadn't really made a fuss about making her give back everything of his/take everything of hers. this was also because he didn't fully realize how crazy she was.
the ex hated my guts already and we all knew it, and she had made threats to my boyfriend saying things like, "she'd better hope she doesn't come across me anywhere, or i'll kick her ass."
the morning of the incident, he had left early for work 45 minutes away, leaving me to sleep in. his ex called him at work telling him she needed to get something from the apartment, which he usually leaves unlocked because we live in a small town. he told her it was locked and that i was there and he didn't want her going over there......which made her insanely angry, obviously. she came over with her old key and her sister (in the sister's van) and started flipping shit.
i was asleep, and i don't know about the rest of you, but i'm extremely disoriented and out of it when i first wake up. so all i could really do was stare blearily at her while she yelled and tore blankets off. when she grabbed the bed, i woke up enough to get out of it.
she took off with the bed, which was a double-size box-spring and mattress, and dragged it to her sister's van which was waiting outside, and they drove off.
when my boyfriend came home and found out the situation, he bitched her out and told her he would do something about it if she ever came in without asking/him being there again.
there you go, FML. full story.
See all the comments including 16 other original poster's reactions
Today, I finished moving cross-country and signed a 13 month lease to be closer to my on-again / off-again boyfriend of the past five years. I showed up at his place to borrow his truck just as his "local" girlfriend was leaving. FML
RoadGoesOn4Ever's comment about their FML
I'm the OP. I originally moved away from him to finish my degree/get my Masters. We've been on and off because he runs private security for the government and spends the majority of his time overseas. I signed a 13 month lease because I wanted to live in a house and I have two big dogs. He was all for me moving out here.
Long story short, IMO: the situation blows, we're over and done with, and I have an awesome new house/job in Vegas.
See all the comments
Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML
CrapFeet's comment about their FML
OP here. Well of course I cleaned it up before typing, any idiot would do that. FYI, yes I did deserve it because I would normally remove all personal belongings before leaving but for this once, I left my shirt on the hook behind the door because I was rushing for time and I just showered so I needed time to fix my hair, wear my contacts etc before leaving and I simply forgot to take it :(
The stench wasn't there, no idea why. Need details? lol ok, maybe because the outer part of the turd hardened, leaving the inner part slightly soft and moist, thus 'locking' the smell in perhaps? And yes, I did clean the friggin wall..the bathroom was shared between me and two other girls. I know the girls won't clean it, so...
See all the comments
Today, my friends and I went to court. We are all college students, and for next semester, we will be on probation and have to do 8 hours of community service, as well as a $25 fine each. All for swinging on swings in the park after dark. FML
inner5yearold's comment about their FML
all the people saying that we were doing drugs or other illegal activities, we werent. we were just college students who had a lot of stress, and wanted to relax by acting like five year olds in the park, swinging on swings, playing on the see-saw, going down slides, monkey bars etcetera. we did not know the park closed after dark, there were no signs by the entrances, and there were no gates. anyone can walk in there at any time of day, and they would not know. the weathered sign, we found it the next day, and it was at the back of the park, no where near any lights or anything. we were just chilling there because we didnt want to go back to our rooms because of annoying roommates. there was even an overhead light shining into the park, giving the impression that it was open after dark. the police didnt even ask if we were doing anything illegal, or asked to see what was in our pockets or anything. two of us didnt even have any ID because we didnt want to lose it on the swings. new ro police are entirely retarded. period.
See all the comments
Today, I was fired because I skipped a week of work without calling nor telling anyone. His secretary forgot to tell him about my scheduled days off for anticipation for my daughter's birth. My boss had already hired someone else so he gave me his secretary's job. Wrong time for a pay decrease. FML
solarecliptic's comment about their FML
We are to notify the secretary of extended leave of absence - not the boss. The day or two after I made this post, the Boss gave me my old job back. Thankfully the new guy hadn't actually started working yet - so he was apologized to and did not start working. My boss hasn't filled his secretary position and I don't think he intends to. The company gave me a 10k/yr raise due to the circumstances.
See all the comments including another original poster's reaction
Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years had proposed to his ex a few days behind and she had declined. FML
silverlocket's comment about their FML
Yikes guys! ... in reply to some of you.. A proposal I was expecting cause we've been together for oh well.. just 2 and a half little years and he had only mentioned it like 250 times in the past 5 months.. so yes, I was expecting it at any moment!
The ring was indeed beautiful - not a family heirloom - and it was expensive.. I actually would have preferred a plastic ring that girls use to play barbie as long as it was OURS and not.. recycled..
But in the end, taking it to a jewelers and having it turned into a charm for a necklace wasn't that bad..
No we aren't together, and of course, he hid his relationship with this.. ex.. very very well for two whole years .. funny part ? she was engaged living with someone else as well!
Oh well, one moves on :)
See all the comments
Today, I bought $300 worth of climbing equipment because I had lost mine six months ago, I hadn't gone to the climbing gym since I'd lost it. I went today because I was so excited to go climbing again. However, it turns out that I'd left my gear there, and it had been in the Lost and Found for the past six months. FML
MitchellSully's comment about their FML
You can't return allot of climbing equipment, it's against safety regulations because the gear is so fine tuned to make sure that it can hold even 8000lbs. The only gear that I had bought that I could return was the shoes and the chalk bag, but I still couldn't do that because I filled the bag with chalk and wore the shoes already. I didn't find my gear until I was done climbing for the night.
See all the comments including 3 other original poster's reactions