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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (6168)

On 02/04/2015 at 4:42pm - love - by lucas90 - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

lucas90's comment about their FML

Hey, I'm the OP!
In all fairness, she and her friends were wasted, and I was the designated driver.
She didn't remember any of this the next day, and actually found it quite funny. She's not dumb. Sorry to dissapoint you.
And to the people that pointed out my typo - yes I'm MARRYING a her. English isn't my first language and I was exhausted when I wrote this. :)

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Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (3782)

On 02/03/2015 at 9:35am - work - by ansarias (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

ansarias's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here.
Thanks for the hilarious comments.
Thought I'd provide a follow up, and clarify a few things quickly.

I work as part of the commercial team for a small company based in London. Due to the size of the company, occasionally, I have to do jobs that you wouldn't find the equivalent of my position in a larger company doing.
This was one of them. Basically, I was told that we would have new chairs arriving for the meeting room, and that I should let the delivery / removal men into the building, show them the room, and sign the papers.
Since I was really busy with my usual work, I let them in and left them to it. I didn't notice they had left until I went to check on them 15 minutes later! I Got quite a shock when I found the meeting room empty with no workmen in sight!

In terms of the meeting, when the clients arrived yesterday morning, we made the decision to take them out for breakfast (no shortage of places that offer this in central London, and hey, they weren't complaining!), and I'm pleased to say it went well. I even managed to finally get hold of the delivery company afterwards who brought the new chairs around (different guys though). Apparently, it was a "logistics issue".
Anyway, I'm still employed, and me and my colleagues (including my boss) got a good laugh out of it (and a delicious breakfast!)

Cheers all.
good laugh out of it (as well as a delicious breakfast).

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Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/02/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by bruhandbutercup - United States (Maryland)

bruhandbutercup's comment about their FML

Thanks guys for the support and funny comments. I spoke to our manager and asked her to clear it up with our boss. Luckily he was willing to listen to her so I received an apology and a raise!

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Today, in the middle of my haircut, the hairdresser went into labor. They never finished cutting it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30433) - you deserved it (3989)

On 02/01/2015 at 4:12pm - misc - by TheTacoMan -

TheTacoMan's comment about their FML

OP here, I wasn't saying that she should come back to complete my hair cut, I was talking about everyone else who was working there. Luckily the hair cutter made it to the hospital in time, and she gave birth to a healthy boy, or so they said over the phone. I came back the next day and they finished cutting my hair... For half price.

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Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27809) - you deserved it (2641)

On 01/31/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by Paras_800 - United States

Paras_800's comment about their FML

Hey guys, its OP here! Just to clear a few things up, I was the one applying to the college, not interviewing another person. Sorry it was a typo, but in terms of the college I am hoping they will look at the big picture rather than focusing on the one mistake.

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Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26150) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/31/2015 at 1:22pm - misc - by UnidentifiedFun (woman) - United States (New York)

UnidentifiedFun's comment about their FML

Alright, some of you need clarification.. So my friend and I were paddle boarding/kayaking (she had the kayak), and I decided to backfloat in the water for a bit, as it was smooth waters and a relaxing day. But alas, my friend thought it would be hilarious to full-steam ahead into my crotch. Needless to say, it was a painful experience.

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Today, my girlfriend ran off with my beloved dog. Why? Yesterday she asked me who I'd choose, and I honestly said that I would choose the dog. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (15286)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:13pm - love - by nodoggforme - United States (Oregon)

nodoggforme's comment about their FML

OP here. Just to set things straight, we'd only been dating for about 3 weeks and weren't lifelong friends before that or anything. My dog I've had for 7 years, so yeah, he won. I agree that if it had been the other way around I would have deserved it.

The whole thing came up when we were sitting on the couch and I was rubbing my dog's back. Psycho chick then asked why I wasn't rubbing hers instead and asked who I cared for more and choose. "'Cause you can only have one!" Now I have none :(. Still looking for my dog.

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Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27074) - you deserved it (2305)

On 01/30/2015 at 6:28pm - love - by briang959 - United States (Georgia)

briang959's comment about their FML

I'm the OP. Thankfully my wife has a good sense of humor. We eventually found out some of our friends did this as a joke. :). Time to pay the prank forward. The comments are hilarious, BTW.

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Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27971) - you deserved it (2495)

On 01/29/2015 at 5:10am - animals - by Crystal_da_thing (woman) - Australia

Crystal_da_thing's comment about their FML

I'm the one who wrote the fml turns out it escaped from a traveling zoo

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Today, instead of taking down the Christmas tree, my sister covered it with Valentine's Day decorations. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23233) - you deserved it (3230)

On 01/28/2015 at 5:35pm - misc - by lolcat97 - United States (New York)

lolcat97's comment about their FML

I'm the OP, and I'm glad this got published! For those wondering, it is a fake tree. And it was actually because of my laziness that I had her take it down because I never got around to it. That is when she came up with her "brilliant" idea to cover it with Valentine's Day decorations, which my parents did not seem too impressed with haha.

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Today, I went on my first date in over 4 years with a smoking hot guy. The big event was a trip to Target. I work at Target. He took me to my workplace for our date. And they say romance is dead. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27882) - you deserved it (2473)

On 01/28/2015 at 8:51am - love - by anonpbc (woman) - United States (Kansas)

anonpbc's comment about their FML

OP here. To clarify for the haters, I do know what a date is supposed to be, I'm not an idiot. We had been planning to meet up for weeks. The date was lame, hence why I posted to FML. But it was definitely intended as a real date, accompanied by dinner and shopping a few other stores. No errands were ran, No groceries or Tp was purchased. I visited a few coworkers & he picked up a few electronics items. and no I didn't buy it or use my employee discount. It was my day off & he knew it was my workplace.

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Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25148) - you deserved it (4661)

On 01/27/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by MyUsernameisEpic (man) - United States (Florida)

MyUsernameisEpic's comment about their FML

Okay, so this is my FML.

The girl is 15, and we have classes together in school. I didn't really mind that she said it, but it was funny. That's why I decided to share it on here, and it actually got posted! Anyway, back to the story. We were talking in class about something and I made a joke and she started giggling and then, she said, "LOL!" Like, "el-oh-el". Also, I should mention that I wasn't flirting with her or anything. I'm not pursuing a relationship with her, but if I was, I wouldn't completely freak out and change my mind because she said lol. That'd make me a judgmental prick. That'd be pretty screwed up of me. Lastly, I'd like to say that I am friends with her, and just because she said lol, that doesn't mean I think she's stupid or anything.

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Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/27/2015 at 6:06pm - misc - by Animaldude55 - United States (California)

Animaldude55's comment about their FML

I am the OP. Basically it was near the end of the haircut when this happened so I didn't have time to say anothing. Just to add a few more details, she tried putting on a bandaid but it didn't work, rubbed her fingers on a towel I saw blood.

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