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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my wife started a 24 hour urine collection as directed by the doctor for her pregnancy. She has to collect the urine in a gallon jug, and refrigerate it. At lunch time, I went to go get the rest of my sandwich but was unable to find it, until she suggested I "look under the piss jug." FML

#21326619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24867) - you deserved it (2271)

On 12/29/2014 at 5:07pm - misc - by Nolimit2217 (man) - United States

Nolimit2217's comment about their FML

I thought it was funny. I understand the seriousness of pre-eclampsia since it happened with our first child too. Don't get on a high horse with me. I support my wife through and through, just had a funny moment I wanted to share.

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Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

#21326530
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32038) - you deserved it (4052)

On 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm - misc - by danielzcwu (man) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

danielzcwu's comment about their FML

Here's my original post on FB. FML condense make us condense it to 300 words :p

aww man.. Just went through one of the most awkward moments of my life.
I Just got off the plane from Taipei to hk, during the flight I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I can't remember what it was about. But, I think I was being attacked.
So anyway, I started screaming in my dream, unfortunately that translated to screaming in reality as well. It was a loud scream as well cause it was enough to wake me up.
The good and also funny thing is it wasn't just me screaming, there was this old lady sitting next to me, who I guess after I was screaming also started screaming.... It was like domino scream!
Luckily I still had my eyes closed and realized it was too awkward and embarrassing to explain myself, I could hear people laughing behind me, beside me and in front.. So I just kept my eyes closed.
Seriously , one of the most awkward moments I've been in, it took all my will power to continue pretending to sleep and self control not to laugh cause that old aunty screaming after I screamed was Damn funny... I did a muffled giggle when she was saying ... omg this boy scared me to death..
Luckily someone said quite loudly poor kid he must've had a nightmare..
Sigh.... FML

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Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

#21325569
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31420) - you deserved it (2799)

On 12/27/2014 at 10:57pm - misc - by idkgiraffes - United States (Washington)

idkgiraffes's comment about their FML

OP here, she eventually caved and gave it to me but she said "if House of Cards randomly stops, I know who to blame."

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Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML

#21324472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28981) - you deserved it (5812)

On 12/26/2014 at 1:18am - misc - by Lokiara - United States

Lokiara's comment about their FML

I'm OP. No, I do not live at home. I haven't lived at home in 5 years. I currently live in a different country and I am in my home country for the holidays. I preemptively tell my parents where I go because they tend to ask that question when I leave the house. It might be the fact that I am female, but I don't really know for certain.

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Today, at Christmas dinner, my grandmother talked about the death of every single dog she ever had. All 10 of them. FML

#21323815
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (2464)

On 12/25/2014 at 6:47am - misc - by dunn76 - United States

dunn76's comment about their FML

Hi I'm the op. To clarify, yes the dinner happened last night and so the 'today' thing is technically a lie, so sue me. My grandmother is 91 so she doesn't always have a filter as on what is appropriate to talk about. As to the 10 dogs, yes, there were times that she had 2 at a time. Most died of old age, but there were some that stuck out. One died because of cancer when she was a kid, another got hit by a car, and they had to put one down because she wouldn't eat because she was best friends with the dog that got hit by a car. Yes these were sad, but she is a good dog owner. She was tearing up when she was telling the stories. I love my grandmother very much and visit her at least once a week. As to the xmas mood, we decided to stop dinner and open presents to lighten up the mood for my younger sister. So don't worry, we had a good xmas!

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Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

#21323349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (4549)

On 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm - animals - by Mr_snuggels - Canada (Ontario)

Mr_snuggels's comment about their FML

Hello, OP here. I've notice quite a few comments similar to this. So, I'll set the record straight on why my cat is "bigger", instead of assuming I'm a bad "cat parent".
My cat has a metabolism disorder... Which means he doesn't have the same working digestive system as a regular cat. Which was caused by genetics from his mother, who was also an obese cat that also had a metabolism disorder as well.
He was always a bigger cat.
But now as he's getting older I've noticed his size increasing.
I have talked to the vet about this. Since, Micky (my cat) is in good health, she just suggested to slowly make my indoor cat an outdoor cat, to try to make Micky more active in his daily routine, we also made changes into his diet.
Every Time I let Micky outside I watch him, since he is not originally an outdoor cat. Therefore, it was a coincidence that Micky was feeling very adventurous as was trying to climb the fence, pooped himself, and fell in it. I agree, fuck the cats life... But, guess who had to clean the mess?

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Today, I woke up while staying at my friend's house. I saw the bathroom light on, so for a laugh, I got up and quietly pennied the door. After laughing at him struggling to open the door, I decided to let him out. Turned out it wasn't my friend in there; it was his dad. FML

#21323324
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18109) - you deserved it (27420)

On 12/24/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by PikidiliJo (man) - United States

PikidiliJo's comment about their FML

It was actually in the morning. I woke up and the bathroom light was on.

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Today, my school textbook's back cover ripped off. Not wanting to have my teacher find out, I glued the cover back together. Only after the glue dried did I realize that I actually glued the back cover upside down. FML

#21321598
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19216) - you deserved it (21884)

On 12/21/2014 at 4:15pm - misc - by JillianJuneBug (woman) - United States (Maine)

JillianJuneBug's comment about their FML

Hey this is OP, I made an account to comment and shed a little light on the situation. Yes, I go to public school, and yes we have to pay fines for damaged or missing books. The thing is, the back cover was only barely hanging on and it snapped off while I was taking it out of my bag. I put down in the original FML that it came off due to being worn.

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Today, I was about to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. As things got heated, he broke down crying. I assumed it was just anxiety so I hugged him and told him it's alright and that it didn't matter, we'd try another time. Half an hour later, he confessed that he's actually gay. FML

#21321334
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38815) - you deserved it (3255)

On 12/21/2014 at 3:30am - love - by gunnerette (woman) - Cyprus (Larnaca)

gunnerette's comment about their FML

#27 I actually don't live in my home country anymore so I don't think that would be the case. As for everybody else, thank you so much for being so understanding and supportive :)

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Today, I was fired for "smelling like garbage". I'm the guy who throws the garbage into the truck. FML

#21320742
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (2468)

On 12/20/2014 at 4:25am - work - by Ajwc95 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Ajwc95's comment about their FML

OP here. I did so apparently. I'm going see if I can fight this though.

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Today, the lady whose son I babysit sent me a text, saying she left a gift for me for all the hard work I've done. I found a beautifully-wrapped box where she said the gift was. It turned out my actual gift was cookies sitting right next to it. FML

#21320235
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27075) - you deserved it (3287)

On 12/19/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by 1dvos_grl3 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

1dvos_grl3's comment about their FML

Hey everyone, OP here. Let me shed a little light here. I was greatful she got me something to begin with! So don't say I wasn't, the sugar cookies were very yummy. It was just very misleading is all. And everyone curious what was in the wrapped present I didn't open it, there was a note flap on it and it didn't have my name on it. I texted her confused and she said it was the cookies. So yes I was greatful, and I'm a bit curious what she got 'Sara' too.

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Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32507) - you deserved it (3044)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

subversivepanda's comment about their FML

Hey guys! OP here! i realized that i forgot a detail. So usually, for our AP Literature exams, we get copies of practice AP exams from previous years (you know, the AP Exams at the end of the year). So for those, you literally CANNOT study. Like, there is no way to study for them since they cover practically anything and everything related to Literature.

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Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

#21319326
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46090) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm - misc - by drbckflps (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

drbckflps's comment about their FML

I haven't read all the comments yet but thank you for your condolences. This is indeed the grandmother of my son and no, she didn't take the holiday as a way of grieving - it was purely opportunistic. She wasn't even polite to us at the funeral: her words to me were, "In six months when I get back you'll have forgotten this whole thing ever happened." Very disappointing. Thank you all again. I'll reply again when I get a chance to read some more comments.

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