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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, my dad told my girlfriend that she's the son he never had. FML

#21519673
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20340) - you deserved it (2108)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm - misc - by jimmy_morton - United States

jimmy_morton's comment about their FML

Hey it's the op,
My dad loves to embarrass me and challenge my manhood because I'm his only son of 6 kids. He's done this all my life. He used to yell at me on the field during my football games calling me a pussy. He even told my senior drill instructor at my basic combat training graduation ceremony that he hoped my drill sergeant put hit foot up my ass every day that I was there. No I'm not gay. My dad just likes to mess with me. I've gotten used to it and I actually find it funny now.

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Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

#21519547
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20017) - you deserved it (3787)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:35am - intimacy - by VisceralWolf (man) - United States (Ohio)

VisceralWolf's comment about their FML

OP here, I made an account just to respond.
To explain, my girlfriend is very rarely on top, and she was in the kind of pain wanting 'mood' that she didn't notice the contact and I certainly wasn't aware of it. I already knew that she said this could happen and avoided it at all costs. Well, turns out the angle and her weight pushing down caused us to reach the limit and well... I was on the bottom. Simple as that.

I in no way did this on purpose. She knows it too.

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Today, I learned the hard way what the inside of my toe looks like. FML

#21519538
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (1365)

On 01/26/2016 at 1:02am - health - by soni_miller (woman) - United States (Virginia)

soni_miller's comment about their FML

Hey guys! I'm OP, I just didn't log in to give the FML. At the end of October, my iPad accidentally fell on my big toe, affecting my nail and the skin around it. It still didn't heal and yesterday it started chipping and peeling off. It actually didn't hurt when it did. But DO NOT EVER DROP YOUR IPAD ON YOUR TOE BECAUSE IT WILL HURT SO BAD.

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Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML

#21519272
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (3898)

On 01/25/2016 at 1:21pm - misc - by miss_strauss - United States (Texas)

miss_strauss's comment about their FML

OP here. I had cooked a dinner in a sort of celebration of our first night living together, and he offered to do the dishes afterwards. I happily agreed and asked him to leave the skillet for me because it requires extra TLC. When I woke up and found it this morning, I went to work making sure there wasn't too much damage done, and he was horrified when realized what he did. I couldn't be mad at him, because he was only trying to help.

Also, for those wondering about why I've kept a skillet for this long. I'm only 23, but it was my grandmothers and then my dad inherited it when she passed away. He passed it on to me when I went to college and got my own apartment. Cast iron, if maintained and loved properly, can be the best tool of a good kitchen and can last forever. It's really not strange to small town southerners to have cast iron pans that are older than them:P

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Today, after our flight got cancelled back home, I called the airline to work out a replacement flight. I sat in hold for 2 hours waiting as patiently as I could. Then, the automated voice says, "There are no available agents. Good bye." FML

#21519124
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (1521)

On 01/25/2016 at 12:13am - misc - by LordBubbleWrap (man) - United States (Connecticut)

LordBubbleWrap's comment about their FML

OP here. yeah i flew into a fit of rage which resulted in angry snow shoveling. I get that the airlines were busy but being hung up on by microsoft Sam was just to much.

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Today, after not going out in over a year, I finally agreed to go out with some friends. I had a lot of fun and was very happy, up until when I was on my way back home and I noticed my car's sunroof had been stolen. FML

#21518897
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18587) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/24/2016 at 1:42pm - misc - by Pandafriend (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Pandafriend's comment about their FML

Op here! This is my first FML and I'm happy it got posted :)

To answer some of your questions. How does a sunroof get stolen? I have no idea, but these Mexican thieves tend to be very creative, and quite handy by the looks of it. I guess they stole it because it's an expensive car piece, but the jokes on them because it has a serial number and technically if they try to sell it they could go to jail (if the correct laws were to be applied). But maybe they just sell it as scrap glass.
And on the bright side I'm really glad they only stole the sunroof and not the whole car, and they didn't take anything from inside either, I was worried they might have taken any car papers but luckily they didn't.

And the reason why I haven't gone out in such a long time, is because I didn't use to enjoy it, every time I went out I didn't have any fun, and also I find it very hard to maintain a conversation with friends let alone a stranger, and I like staying at home reading or here in FML. I was actually amazed about the fun I had.
But if I go out more often now, I'm making a note to myself to never park in the street and always leave it with a valet parking.( Although a valet parking once stole my spare tire, but I didn't notice until I needed it, much after).

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Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

#21518161
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18957) - you deserved it (3140)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:05pm - misc - by ChiefKoala (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

ChiefKoala's comment about their FML

Okay. Wow I can't believe this got posted! So anyway, I do this at home. Like before I go to bed I HAVE to make sure the two doors that lead outside are locked and that every cabinet door in the house is closed. And I probably do have OCD, As I have anxiety and Severe depression to boot as well. For those wondering: I didn't get up and close it for a few reasons. 1.) I didn't want to interrupt him. 2.) I figured he would find it rude and stupid to just get up and close a door that probably only bothered me. And 3.) I have anxiety, so getting up or even speaking in a class full of students is damn near impossible.

Also, all of his lectures are also on Momentum (Which is basically how we email our teachers and get all the material we need for the class like the syllabus and shit) so I've already looked over what he taught for today.

And to the person who said "i would not do anything, because im not compulsive about minor things like that." That's fantastic. Why don't you give yourself a pat on the back? I live with and am stuck around people who see that as "minor" and don't do anything about it. I know what a "normal" person looks like. I can't help it. I know it's minor, and i know that i shouldn't worry about it or be bothered by it. But I literally can't help it. So forgive me for being different.

Thanks to the person who made the "Close" joke. OR if you were even making a joke. Regardless, i found it relatively funny and it made me giggle.

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Today, the company I work for lost 3-weeks worth of time sheets, so we have to fill them all out again. I don't remember what I did yesterday, let alone three weeks ago. That's why I religiously fill out the time sheets in the first place. FML

#21518159
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (1448)

On 01/22/2016 at 12:03pm - work - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)

sideeffect001's comment about their FML

OP here, the company does all the timekeeping online. The server went down and they were only able to restore it back to the end of November. I'll be keeping my own copy of hours from now on.

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Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML

#21518155
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18785) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/22/2016 at 11:46am - misc - by AustinFFA - United States (California)

AustinFFA's comment about their FML

I'm allowed to watch it. I'm 16. It's just awkward that they know when I'm watching

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Today, I absentmindedly smiled and told my grandfather to "have fun" before closing the door behind him. He was leaving to go to his chemotherapy session for lung cancer. FML

#21517737
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (5809)

On 01/21/2016 at 9:34am - health - by Sunflora219 - United States (New York)

Sunflora219's comment about their FML

Hey everyone; OP here. I apologized to my Nana when he came back home a couple of hours later. He laughed, hugged me, and said "it's all right. I'm used to your awkwardness anyway. And for the record, I did have fun!"

I appreciate the supportive comments. I'll read and translate them to my Nana in Bangla. I'm sure he'll get a good laugh from this, as well. So, I really thank you all for allowing me to have another special moment with him. I truly, sincerely do.

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Today, two teen girls got into a shouting match at the table next to mine at the food court. Sensing a fight brewing, I got up to leave. I stood up just in time for one of the girls to throw her tray, which missed her target and hit me in the head. FML

#21517721
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (1472)

On 01/21/2016 at 9:02am - misc - by LiLMAMA0523 - United States (Pennsylvania)

LiLMAMA0523's comment about their FML

OP here!

This actually happened to me sometime last year when I worked at an outlet. I ran into the first girl awhile back (who works at a store there) while shopping and we were laughing about it. Basically these girls had been having some issues for awhile and the second girl (tray thrower) decided she and her "crew" would pay the girl a visit while she was working (stupid right?). We both happened to be on our lunch break at the time when the girls showed up. Initially they were just throwing insults at each other (which were pretty funny) but the first girl stood up and they were screaming at each other from across the table. At this point I was like okay I don't want any parts if they start swinging, so I stood up and attempted to walk away. The second girl picked up the food tray and threw it, but the girl either ducked or her aim was bad because I ended up getting hit. My initial reaction was shock which then switched to WTF lol. Both girls rushed over and were freaking out asking me if I was okay. Security was called by one of the food court managers and the girl and her crew were escorted out. I was asked if I wanted to file a report but to me it wasn't extreme enough to do so. I could tell the girl was already upset enough and adding to it wouldn't have made it better. I wasn't severely hurt either just a little bump behind my ear. The tray was hard plastic, but I had my hair in a bun so I think that kind of cushioned the impact. I think the funniest part was probably explaining to my manager why I was a little late coming back from break lol. If this had happened to anyone else I might not find it funny, but since it was me I managed to find the humor in it. I can now check "getting hit with a food tray" to my list of the WTF things that have happened to me lol.

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Today, while I was taking a shower, my boyfriend came into the bathroom to ask me a question. When I got out of the shower, I was greeted with a horrifying cutout of Michael Jackson. I fell backwards, shattering the glass shower door. I needed stitches. FML

#21517678
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (1822)

On 01/21/2016 at 3:58am - love - by Shy_Shiloh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Shy_Shiloh's comment about their FML

In an attempt to stop the 'break up with him' or 'he's an asshole' comments that seem to get posted on every FML involving boyfriends/girlfriends: This was an accident. It was a rather unfortunate one, but an accident nonetheless. It's not like he purposely put me in a dangerous situation like other pranks I've read on here. He was getting me back for a prank I pulled on him a couple of weeks ago. He feels awful about it, but it's not his fault that I lost my balance and fell.

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Today, at my work at a charity shop, I reached into a new bag of donations only to pull out... used underwear. Thanks for your generosity. FML

#21517605
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18343) - you deserved it (1219)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:19pm - work - by indigohero (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

indigohero's comment about their FML

@22 Yeah that's exactly what I do now since this happened and @21 exactly. I swear some of the stuff people "donate" is ridiculous. It's clearly just stuff they couldn't be bothered to dispose of properly. One time, someone "donated" a small bag with a bundle of string and a rock in it (??) and another time someone had "donated" their old retainer..... just, why?

And @16 it's true we get money for bags of rags and damaged clothing that we can't sell, but we don't actively ask for items like this - we ask for "good quality items", and while it's not so bad just throwing torn or worn clothes in a bag, it's kinda disgusting to have to sort through used underwear, stained baby clothes and dirty old socks, to name a few things. People donating clearly don't think through that an actual person has to sort through this stuff when they hand it over.

Thankfully most of the stuff we get is fine though, there's just the odd few where you have to wonder what they were thinking. And generally I love working there, it's just nice to complain sometimes haha :)

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