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FML, the follow-up

Spicy details and delicious explanations are on this section’s menu, which contains hundreds of stories commented on by their original posters. The people who share their mishaps return to bring you some clarifications. They tell us all about their FML, and it’s a real pleasure.

Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (1516)

On 11/07/2015 at 8:12am - love - by jellenwood - United States (Texas)

jellenwood's comment about their FML

OP here! So, this was several years ago. Apparently his family didn't want want him to marry me and never wanted him to divorce his first wife. His father is the one who performed the wedding. He called me the wrong name several times during the ceremony. I don't know if he did it on purpose or not. Friends later tell me it wasn't just his mother that was laughing but many members of his family but I just couldn't hear them. H

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Today, my boyfriend called. He said he would sing me a song, like I'd wanted for a long time. I was excited, but surprised at his song choice. He sang 'Locked Away' by R. City ft. Adam Levine. Turns out, he was calling me from jail. He thought this was romantic, and expected me to bail him out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23278) - you deserved it (2309)

On 11/06/2015 at 2:39am - love - by ishred1111 - Canada (British Columbia)

ishred1111's comment about their FML

Thanks for all the funny comments! They made me feel better when I'm not actually feeling that great, considering what my boyfriend turned out to be like....
Speaking of which, I totally agree with most of you. Yes, I hung up on him and no, I did not bail him out. I think his sister did in the end.
His fate and what he actually did to get arrested are unknown to me, honestly I just knew we were done the second he finished the song and then said 'so, babe, can you bail me out?'
Never thought he could be like this. Very disappointed in him. But still thoroughly impressed at his singing (he recited it perfectly). :) thanks guys!!

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Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a man trying to get a screaming little girl into a van. I called 911 and ran over yelling at him. His wife then got out of the van and explained the girl was their daughter and they were just trying to make her go to school. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22813) - you deserved it (3666)

On 11/05/2015 at 2:21pm - kids - by cutsiecurliee (woman) - United States (California)

cutsiecurliee's comment about their FML

Hey guys OP here! I asked the little girl if that was her parents and she nodded but 911 told me they were still sending an officer to be 100% sure that everything was accurate. The parents completely understood and were totally fine because they were glad I cared and took action. :)

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Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (1373)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:36pm - love - by hi_im_ughlee (woman) -

hi_im_ughlee's comment about their FML

Hey, guys! I'm OP. I'm glad most of you are supportive about this! Charges have been filed and he will be sued for all damages. He actually did break in, and he broke all the windows and doors, smashed all the lights and mirrors, took a hammer to the brick outside and the walls inside, and destroyed my deck. I had mini cameras installed to make sure no one would steal anything while the house was still being worked on, so I've got irrefutable proof that it was him and slowly but surely he will be brought down.

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Today, my boyfriend discovered that if you mix beer, an axe, shotgun shells and bad judgment, you get a rather expensive hospital stay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18696) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/04/2015 at 1:57pm - misc - by ncbb5 (man) -

ncbb5's comment about their FML

Hey, op here. I was supposed to spend the day with my boyfriend but I got called to work. I told him don't do anything stupid. We know how that turned out. Anyway he's fine now just whining like a baby.

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Today, I was working at a movie theater when I was called to clean what can only be described as "Dog Shit Surprise" out of a theater. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18551) - you deserved it (1248)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm - work - by superspy3214 - United States

superspy3214's comment about their FML

OP here, first of all I'm still in school making A's in my honors courses and secondly it was neither human nor dog shit, apparently a guy brought his kid into the theater to see Paranormal Activity and the kid got so scared he threw up then dumped his popcorn and mozzarella sticks on the ground

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Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML


I agree, your life sucks (26203) - you deserved it (3931)

On 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm - health - by nocongratsneeded (woman) - United States (Michigan)

nocongratsneeded's comment about their FML

Hi all, this is the OP. Obviously, he's my ex, even though he doesn't seem to realize it yet to judge by the texts and phone calls. To give a little more background, we'd been together for almost three years. We were talking about moving in together (but not getting married, I've seen too many of my friends get divorced already). To really prove that the universe hates me, he and I were still using condoms, because I am that freaked out about pregnancy and I can't take hormonal BC. This is the first time ever I've had one break.

I'm sure I'm going to catch a lot of flak for this, but I have scheduled an abortion for the end of this week. It's not a human or a potential one to me, it's just a burden and reminder that former relationship was based on a big fat lie. Plus, being pregnant makes me even more anxious than the thought of being pregnant ever did, and I was full-on tokophobic before. Every time I think about having my body being overtaken by some disgusting little alien creature, my heart starts pounding and I get dizzy. I don't know how many times I've thrown up on cue just thinking about it, and it's not from morning sickness. I also really, really, really dislike babies, contrary to my ex's assumptions. I had one shoved at me when I was a teenager, and I nearly dropped it because everything about it terrified me. I don't think it's a good idea to just hope that those maternal hormones kick in and make me suddenly like kids when I haven't since as long as I can remember. congratulations needed, and no pro-life or pro-adoption rants, either. If you'd find it in your heart to suck it up and make the best of this situation, good for you. The best situation for me is to put everything about this horrible experience behind me as soon as possible.

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Today, I now need to include in my prerequisites for a potential date, "Must not pull a knife out on one of my guy friends for hugging me." I'm so done with online dating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (2151)

On 11/01/2015 at 11:16pm - love - by MG73 - United States (Maine)

MG73's comment about their FML

OP here. For some clarification, it was only our second time hanging out. I did introduce him to my guy friend so he wouldn't feel insecure. We were all leaving, I hugged my friend bye since to me, that is just a casual thing, and he went crazy. I'm just glad I found out what he's like early on.

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Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML


I agree, your life sucks (20700) - you deserved it (10509)

On 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by duckthisspit (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

duckthisspit's comment about their FML

Hi everyone, op here, the reason I had wrappers in my pocket was because I was handing out candy for Halloween at my friends house and cleaned up wrappers from eaten candy, forgetting that I had money in my pocket because I got it before I went home to put it in my wallet. While I was throwing it away I just grabbed the war of junk out of my pocket and I was having a conversation with my friend so I didn't notice the money in there while shoving it in the trash. I can't go back to my friends house because he lives very far away, I have texted and called him to ask if he can at least look for it for me and he has not replied. Happy Halloween!

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm boring and never go to the bar with him. He knows I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24452) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/31/2015 at 12:05am - love - by Chelsey5279 (woman) - United States

Chelsey5279's comment about their FML

I wasn't planning on commenting if this got published, but I decided to create an account to thank you guys for your supportive comments. I also wanted to add that I do know I'm better off, it's just difficult because we have a daughter together. Thankfully I have an amazing support system around me and I don't have to deal with this by myself

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Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25779) - you deserved it (1652)

On 10/30/2015 at 9:49pm - money - by MyLifeSucksSoHar (woman) - United States (Florida)

MyLifeSucksSoHar's comment about their FML

OP here. To further clarify my situation, I'm working two jobs on top of being a full-time student and it's still not enough. The problem is, the government insists that a person with two jobs should have enough to pay for college so they've reduced the amount of money I can get - never mind that since I only have a high school diploma, I can only get minimum wage. Plus, I don't have any credit established - so I can't get any other loans.

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Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26035) - you deserved it (1459)

On 10/29/2015 at 6:20am - work - by cpizzle12 - United States (Virginia)

cpizzle12's comment about their FML

UPDATE: I talked with VP of sales s( he was going to be my new boss) .. And apparently something much more is going on that involves HR. HR drama going on I guess.. He will be further investigating this week and questioning the head HR lady that fired me. He called me today to get my side of the story.. Also asked me to email my resume to him.
Lord willing the truth will be revealed!!
I will update later when I find out more!

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Today, I knocked a girl lightly in the head with a prop at a costume party. I apologized profusely to the drama queen as she walked away blinking and holding her head. My boyfriend then told me that she had recently had brain surgery and it was hard for her to even leave the house. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21416) - you deserved it (6836)

On 10/28/2015 at 1:00pm - health - by WildChildRocker (woman) - United States (New York)

WildChildRocker's comment about their FML

Hi everyone! OP here. We were out at a nightclub for a Halloween event. I was standing at the edge of the dance floor talking to my boyfriend and the girl was behind me where I couldn't see her. I was carrying a cardboard hammer and I moved it and felt it touch something, then turned around and saw this girl cringing. I apologized two or three times and gave her a hug. As some people guessed, I referred to her as a "drama queen" only here, and it was to show what I thought before I knew that she had had surgery; a person who was in good physical health wouldn't have reacted so strongly to such a light tap. I did not hit her on purpose, and I certainly didn't think she was a drama queen after hearing what happened to her.

Thanks for the comments!

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