You Heard Right, Elon Musk’s Boring Company Is Now Selling Flamethrowers for $500
Is there anything this man can’t do? With SpaceX, Tesla, Neuralink, OpenAI, and Paypal under his belt, his side hustle The Boring Company would seem true to its name. With The Boring Company’s branded flamethrowers up for purchase, that’s changing fast.
The Boring Company flamethrower guaranteed to liven up any party! https://t.co/n2FiZimJia
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
Of course, like anything Musk does, the Boring Company was never meant to boring. Actually the cheeky name for Musk’s tunnel-boring company which is digging tunnels beneath Los Angeles, The Boring Company interests are deeper and vaster than the underground network they’ve built. For the past few months, Elon Musk has been using The Boring Company as a kind of marketing experiment.
It all started in the beginning of December when he “capped” the sale of his Boring Co.-brand hats at 50K and people went wild for them. Because of his oddball Twitter habits and his disciple-like following, demand for the limited-edition hats quickly led to $1 million in sales.
Hat
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2017
That special hat delivery will take place deep within the real, but fictional (of course), tunnel we are building under LA while you drive the giant machine blindfolded. This will actually happen.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 3, 2017
In the midst of the hat-related antics, Musk threw out a wild card. While posting about the sales of the hat, he casually mentioned a flamethrower.
After 50k hats, we will start selling The Boring Company flamethrower
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 11, 2017
And then he joked about it.
I know it’s a little off-brand, but kids love it
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 11, 2017
And then he joked about it some more.
Safest flamethrower ever
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 11, 2017
And then he brought it up again.
46k limited edition boring hats sold, 4K to go. Then flamethrower.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 23, 2017
And still, most of us were sure he was joking.
Hats sold out, flamethrowers soon!
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 24, 2017
We will! At least, whatever is left over after we build the obelisks.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 25, 2017
But alas, most of us were wrong, because on Saturday Musk posted these videos on Instagram.
You’ve got to hand it to him. Who wouldn’t want to buy a flamethrower when it’s unveiled like this?
Obviously, a flamethrower is a super terrible idea. Definitely don’t buy one.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
Unless you like fun
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
Apparently, the Boring Company flamethrower had been online for some time, but on an encrypted, password-protected page. That didn’t last for long, though, after someone trying to crack the code found the password was literally just “flame.”
Musk has since made the website totally accessible and is taking pre-orders for actual flamethrowers, which you can purchase yourself for only $500.
The rumor that I’m secretly creating a zombie apocalypse to generate demand for flamethrowers is completely false
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
You’d need millions of zombies for a so-called “apocalypse” anyway. Where would I even get a factory big enough to make so many!?
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2018
Like the hats, he’s capping the sale of flamethrowers. This time at 20K, and since he put them on the market, he’s already made more than $3.5 Million, and they are continue to sell like hotcakes.
But wait, there’s more: the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is “cryptocurrency” and it comes with a free blockchain
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 29, 2018
Please, Elon. You really needn’t say more, you win either way. We know you’re joking and your charisma is going to be what sells most of the flamethrowers, but with Musk-level unpredictability and innovation, we’ve got to be prepared for the possibility that this is real too.
Everyone who’s already pre-ordered a flamethrower, brace yourself for the literal firearm that’s about to show up at your door, conscientiously warning you of the ridiculous sums you’re probably going to have to pay back to your landlord in damage fees. Know that it’s just trying to look out for you.
