Top Ten Comments of the Week
10. WallyQ is cheesy, but in a good way. Like a deep dish pizza. This sounds like a joke my grandma would make, and I love my grandma so this comment makes it on the list.
Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but I guess two wrongs does get you detention!"
9. pettyjohn1995 does a clever little thing with his words. This one is a joke my step-dad would make. What, you don't think it's fair that I picked comments that remind me of my family? Tough titties.
Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML
"I was going to ask how you could possibly forget that many times, but I guess it's possible the dain bramage would explain that!"
8. TIL why people get morning breath. Thanks, justamoderator! Fact check approved.
"That's what happens when you don't eat for a long time. More than 4+ hours. He can have healthiest teeth of all but it won't help since the bad breath mostly comes from stomach."
7. You're so observant, MarkToast!
"the 'I agree, your life sucks' button is just a cruel pun on this one"
6. Not only is the FML community hilarious, they're also always looking out for you. Thanks, sousaphonist, for the advice!
Today, I had a chemistry midterm. There were 15 math problems, but no matter how many times I pressed the "On" button of my calculator, it wouldn't turn on. There were no spare calculators. Later, I tried to show my friend that my calculator wouldn't turn on. I pressed the button. It turned on. FML
"Pro Tip: if you haven't changed them within the past week or so, ALWAYS change the batteries in your calculator before a major exam."
5. Good save, arandomperson97.
"'Ew' stands for 'efficient worker'"
4. Of course bigredmonkeybutt knows what that monkey was thinking.
"Probably thought you had a banana in your pocket."
3. StarkWolf_fml sees the commercial value in every situation.
Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML
"Bounty ultra soft can clean up any mess your kids make & you only use one tissue"
2. iamnuff does not mince words. What a gag.
"'A penis, dear.'"
1. Sorry, Alan, you may hate puns, but I'm a sucker for them. RichardPencil, your corniness gets you 1st place in my book.
Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML
"They have a lot of nirvana asking you to pay for an obvious accident."
And there you have it. Aren't these comments suberb? If you're loving the comments as much as I am, head over to the user pages and give 'em a hug. Feelin frisky, are you? What the heck, give 'em two! While you're at it, why don't you give me a hug too? Pretty please?
Until next time,