FML : Top Ten Comments of the Week

Top Ten Comments of the Week

By Nina / samedi 25 mars 2017 10:31

I've gone through every comment you guys posted this week and hereby present the best of the best. You guys are so funny, so helpful, so wise...the whole package. Be mine?

10. WallyQ is cheesy, but in a good way. Like a deep dish pizza. This sounds like a joke my grandma would make, and I love my grandma so this comment makes it on the list.

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 22 March 2017 17:00 / United States - Troy

"Two wrongs don't make a right, but I guess two wrongs does get you detention!"

-WallyQ

9. pettyjohn1995 does a clever little thing with his words. This one is a joke my step-dad would make. What, you don't think it's fair that I picked comments that remind me of my family? Tough titties.

Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Wednesday 22 March 2017 18:00 /

"I was going to ask how you could possibly forget that many times, but I guess it's possible the dain bramage would explain that!"

-pettyjohn1995

8. TIL why people get morning breath. Thanks, justamoderator! Fact check approved.

Today, I kissed the guy I like. That would've been great, if his breath hadn't smelled/tasted like he'd chewed dog shit that'd been let sizzle in the sun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Dogpoo - / Monday 20 March 2017 19:00 / United States - East Lansing

"That's what happens when you don't eat for a long time. More than 4+ hours. He can have healthiest teeth of all but it won't help since the bad breath mostly comes from stomach."

-justamoderator

7. You're so observant, MarkToast!

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Mark - / Monday 20 March 2017 08:00 / United States - Sparks

"the 'I agree, your life sucks' button is just a cruel pun on this one"

-MarkToast

6. Not only is the FML community hilarious, they're also always looking out for you. Thanks, sousaphonist, for the advice!

Calculatroll!

Today, I had a chemistry midterm. There were 15 math problems, but no matter how many times I pressed the "On" button of my calculator, it wouldn't turn on. There were no spare calculators. Later, I tried to show my friend that my calculator wouldn't turn on. I pressed the button. It turned on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Troll_Calculator - / Tuesday 21 March 2017 16:00 / Canada - Halifax

"Pro Tip: if you haven't changed them within the past week or so, ALWAYS change the batteries in your calculator before a major exam."

-sousaphonist

5. Good save, arandomperson97.

Today, I added my boss to the "ew" list on Skype. I then realized it sends her a notification. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ICallBullshxt - / Saturday 18 March 2017 20:00 /

"'Ew' stands for 'efficient worker'"

-arandomperson97

4. Of course bigredmonkeybutt knows what that monkey was thinking.

Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By LennyComa - / Sunday 19 March 2017 00:00 /

"Probably thought you had a banana in your pocket."

-bigredmonkeybutt

3. StarkWolf_fml sees the commercial value in every situation.

Today, while I was at work, my kids had the great idea to make chocolate milk. My husband had the great idea not to clean up the chocolate mix the kids spilled, so the floor got covered in chocolate footprints. The cat then had the great idea to step in the mix, and cover everything else in chocolate paw prints. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By ChocolateEverywhere - / Thursday 23 March 2017 00:00 / Australia - Melbourne

"Bounty ultra soft can clean up any mess your kids make & you only use one tissue"

-StarkWolf_fml

2. iamnuff does not mince words. What a gag.

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Anonymous - / Saturday 18 March 2017 07:00 / United States - Westerville

"'A penis, dear.'"

-iamnuff

1. Sorry, Alan, you may hate puns, but I'm a sucker for them. RichardPencil, your corniness gets you 1st place in my book.

Today, I attended a Buddhist prayer service for my religion and philosophy course. When the service was over, everyone stood up. Unfortunately, my legs and feet had fallen asleep so much that I lost balance and tackled a monk into the shrine. I'm expected to pay for injuries and damages. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By don't pray, PAY - / Thursday 23 March 2017 20:00 /

"They have a lot of nirvana asking you to pay for an obvious accident."

-RichardPencil

And there you have it. Aren't these comments suberb? If you're loving the comments as much as I am, head over to the user pages and give 'em a hug. Feelin frisky, are you? What the heck, give 'em two! While you're at it, why don't you give me a hug too? Pretty please?