Or just talk to him...

Yeah, if he asks next time say "Baby? Honey, you and I are going to make the baby. ;)"

Yes, so you can win the title of complete fucking creep

Exactly, or at least at the same level as the person who asked. This FML seems so very trivial.

would be the best clarification..

Then what is?

Read that wrong...

No you're not a duck. Ducks cant type on keyboards

2 - Nawwwp. This would make waaaaay too much sense for someone to actually do. This is barely an FML because it is resolved in the next few lines anyway. Unless of course OP is so socially awkward that her brain BSOD'd on her. @OP What's wrong with moms? I pulled a 24 year old HB7.5 mother of three last Saturday. I never date moms, but I'll ONS them, and that's usually all they want anyway. I like to call it a win-win scenario.

I dunno, some guys would find it attractive. He might want his goo goo all up in... I can't think of an appropriate way to make that joke, sorry.

Boo

#3, I wouldn't be so sure. Her crush could be thinking his chances of getting laid are pretty good, since she "has a kid".

*waves hand* "You're right, this is not the mother I'm looking for." *walks away entranced*

It's OP that has a crush on him, as far as we know, it doesn't work the other way around. So, why would he bother to ask? The point is, it just decreases OP's chances.

You mean, waitress actually have names? I thought it was just bar wench

Yeah, but that's not the tip she wants.

This is very true. My tips quadrupled in my third trimester, and still stayed around triple, with my regulars at least, for over a year. Helped out SO much!

Pecan is my favorite, followed by Cream.

I think he would prefer to cream it himself.

#12, back in the day, he'd be jonesing for Hair Pie, but I guess that flavor has fallen out of favor.