Today, with my girlfriend I planned a trip to Bali on this Thursday... - FML

By hilariousnow - 22/12/2009 08:46 - Vietnam

Today, with my girlfriend I planned a trip to Bali on this Thursday and we will celebrate Christmas together. Hotel booking done, flight tickets bought, swimsuits packed. I just forgot one thing: tell my boss I'll be on leave till next week. He gave me a new project. The deadline is next monday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9504

You deserved it

38602

Tweet

Share

This ain't working out

Trust

Property law

By Magnus_the_Red - 9/9/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she didn't want to get it on with me because she didn't want to ruin my innocence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25462

You deserved it

3953

Tweet

Share

By lillymean - 3/2/2012 01:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28382

You deserved it

6086

Tweet

Share

By Brad - 3/1/2013 06:47 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23897

You deserved it

25516

Tweet

Share

By Someguy - 6/6/2011 18:55 - Belgium

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14836

You deserved it

56693

Tweet

Share

By fazzems - 7/8/2009 03:10 - Canada

Today, I had a video call with a couple of old friends, but the conversation sort of got boring, so I started mouthing words so they'd think the connection was bad and end the awkwardness. Then, as soon as they hung up the call, I realized I'd left my music on in the background the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6591

You deserved it

70421

Tweet

Share

By Like mother like daughter - 24/2/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42301

You deserved it

9393

Tweet

Share

By LegInPieces - 17/10/2013 16:34 - United States - Redmond

Today, I spent an excruciating hour walking to campus with a broken leg, only to find my professor had left a note on the door saying class was canceled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47774

You deserved it

3822

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/7/2019 06:12

Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1440

You deserved it

365

Tweet

Share

By xharuki - 29/8/2010 20:37 - United States

Today, I was closing at work when someone came in ten minutes before close (2am) and placed a huge order. I couldn't turn him away because he's my manager from my other job. He was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32556

You deserved it

3501

Tweet

Share

By ohshit - 29/3/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31215

You deserved it

8315

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/6/2012 17:43 - Spain - Tordesillas

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8997

You deserved it

34684

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/11/2015 11:03 - United States - Rochester

Today, I fractured my shinbone after slipping on a leaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22704

You deserved it

2263

Tweet

Share

By minikat - 2/6/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3965

You deserved it

239

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/12/2016 23:26 - United States

Today, I found out that when my parents said they couldn't afford gifts for us kids, what they really meant was that they weren't buying a gift for me. I found this out when I overheard my father telling my uncle about the things he got my siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22314

You deserved it

1328

Tweet

Share

By Ldp56 - 25/2/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school. Apparently, she was learning about the food pyramid and when she was asked to identify what she had eaten the day before, she said "dog food". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32924

You deserved it

4564

Tweet

Share

By melikeyturtles - 2/11/2011 05:21 - United States

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32153

You deserved it

8353

Tweet

Share

By Jack - 3/4/2013 21:40

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37452

You deserved it

5108

Tweet

Share

By ? - 29/11/2009 07:59 - United States

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40503

You deserved it

9894

Tweet

Share

By kraussy - 4/5/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53425

You deserved it

5296

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31598

You deserved it

5334

Tweet

Share

By samabomination - 2/6/2013 08:29 - United States - Monroeville

Today, my step-dad's three year old granddaughter slept over. She insisted she didn't need a diaper to go to sleep and they put her in my bed with me, actually believing that she didn't need a diaper. Not only did she kick me all night, but I had the joy of waking up to her peeing on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50045

You deserved it

5670

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/8/2012 20:08 - United States

Today, I realized how much I hate my girlfriend, when I got excited as the doctor told me I should refrain from having sex for the next two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11732

You deserved it

31221

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/8/2016 12:40 - Canada - Toronto

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14766

You deserved it

1521

Tweet

Share

By ishouldhidethekeys - 4/11/2009 08:44 - United Kingdom

Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39820

You deserved it

4706

Tweet

Share

By lonewolf2701 - 22/11/2009 09:15 - United States

Today, my manager sent me a text message with a picture of Santa masturbating, with a message that said he wished me a white Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26368

You deserved it

4256

Tweet

Share

By chelsay05 - 4/11/2016 00:53 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, I had to go to work on my day off to suspend someone. Afterwards, I got a call saying I can't suspend the person in question because the supervisor who told me to suspend them was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10300

You deserved it

655

Tweet

Share

By ThatWasntFun - 29/1/2015 21:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I went to have a pre-cancerous mole removed off of my nose. When the doctor numbed my nose, she didn't check to see if the anesthetic actually worked, and began hacking away at my nose, leaving me to feel every last flick of the razor. Turns out I have an immunity to that anesthetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31367

You deserved it

2419

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/3/2009 16:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

136697

You deserved it

10491

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 22:16 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37519

You deserved it

3084

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/3/2018 19:30 - United States - Greenville

Today, while wearing a sexy pair of undies for my partner and taking him out on a nice dinner, I trusted a fart walking from the car to the restaurant and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4933

You deserved it

1675

Tweet

Share

By homealone - 14/12/2016 23:27 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9123

You deserved it

538

Tweet

Share

By Lorky - 8/5/2020 02:00 - United States

There goes the neighborhood

Today, I received an email from the office of the apartment complex I moved into two months ago. Apparently, a woman a few apartments down from mine was murdered. Time to pack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1364

You deserved it

108

Tweet

Share

By AloneAgainNaturally - 9/9/2016 21:03 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, I found nudes on my boyfriend's phone. We've been together 14 years. They weren't of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18111

You deserved it

1851

Tweet

Share

By pathetic - 20/8/2010 09:51 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25579

You deserved it

29744

Tweet

Share

By Username - 1/9/2010 00:35 - France

Today, I was life guarding at a community pool and noticed a toddler go under water. I quickly jumped in and suddenly got a charlie horse which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30620

You deserved it

9974

Tweet

Share

By notabadserver - 31/3/2016 17:20 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the head chef at work yelled at me for not knowing the difference between two sauces. I couldn't win the argument, even after a coworker admitted to filling both bottles with the same sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20976

You deserved it

1306

Tweet

Share

By jkmartinjk - 28/11/2012 04:58 - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9591

You deserved it

32900

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 30/7/2015 22:04 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I had to sit through an entire conversation where my sister and her boyfriend sent voice messages to one another, of their farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24589

You deserved it

2189

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 7/8/2020 20:01

Constant flow

Today, my granny called me to, "Come change me please, I just peed." I interrupted what I was doing, walked over to her bed, pulled down her covers and was just about to go for the pad when she said, "Actually... I'm still peeing. Come back in a couple of minutes." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1467

You deserved it

98

Tweet

Share

By Nat3_2020 - 27/1/2015 14:02 - United States

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29023

You deserved it

3713

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By jaj99 | 0

#731500 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:15

You booked the entire trip w/o making sure you could get the time off from work, this short notice? Sounds like YDI.

By DoingItWrong | 0

#731505 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:17

You sir, are an idiot for planning a holiday vacation so close to the holiday in question. I bet everything you bought was marked up for idiots just like you. Plan your vacations well in advanced.

COMMENTS

By waterynuggets | 0

#731495 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:10

YDI. That should have been one of the things you settled first. Sucks to be you.

Reply

idkweird | 0

#731682 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 18:44

Agreed. Why the hell would you plan a trip without informing your place of employment? YDI.

Reply

Dr_Haiku | 0

#731980 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 22:54

That was gonna rock
But then your boss had to pull
A major cock block

Reply

time4coffee | 3

#733514 - Thursday 24 December 2009 0:03

YDI who plans a week off without talking to their boss first?

By Blackie_fml | 0

#731496 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:11

Second

By jaj99 | 0

#731500 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:15

You booked the entire trip w/o making sure you could get the time off from work, this short notice? Sounds like YDI.

By DoingItWrong | 0

#731505 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:17

You sir, are an idiot for planning a holiday vacation so close to the holiday in question. I bet everything you bought was marked up for idiots just like you. Plan your vacations well in advanced.

By Seventytimeseven | 0

#731511 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:23

epic fail YDI

By flyintonite | 0

#731522 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:29

A similar (and much sadder) fml was posted about a woman who had to cancel a family trip to disney world b/c she forgot to tell her boss she was leaving. Point is if something is truely important (like a vacation) TELL YOUR BOSS!!!

Reply

BritishHobo | 0

#731865 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 21:15

I guess she told her kids they were going to Disney Land and then had to let them down.

Reply

TheGuyOverThere | 0

#731937 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 22:14

That wasn't her fault. If I remember rightly the woman told her boss well in advance, then her boss forgot and gave someone else the time off and needed her in.

Reply

pegasus77 | 0

#732129 - Wednesday 23 December 2009 0:41

I think that the time off was for next year, and not this year. Thats what was going on.

This one?

http://www.fmylife.com/work/6557406

By lickmyjock | 0

#731542 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:40

Wow. People can be this stupid?

By Rico5037 | 0

#731550 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:45

if I made this mistake I would NEVER admit to people I did it. idiot

By russianspy1234 | 11

#731565 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 16:59

The only way this isn't a YDI is if your girlfriend is your boss.

By nightngale | 0

#731569 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 17:01

Yes, you deserve it but I also think your boss is a dick for giving you a project due Monday after Christmas. Even if you weren't planning a trip out of town, you'd think he would appreciate that you're probably busy this time of year with family and other obligations.

Reply

anjyu22 | 0

#731891 - Tuesday 22 December 2009 21:35

If he's working in Vietnam, odds are they do not celebrate Christmas the same way we do. It's not a holiday in Japan, for example.

Reply

Darthbane2007 | 15

#732711 - Wednesday 23 December 2009 13:15

But still, you at least give your boss a couple weeks' advance notice so he could either find somebody else to do the project, or postpone it until the OP came back.