By gassy - 15/07/2015 11:15 - United States - Winter Garden

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 226
You deserved it 3 997

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Well, how about you stop eating dairy products then?

I'm sorry, but picturing this going down is just hilarious. Your puppy will run out of poop eventually lol

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I'm sorry, but picturing this going down is just hilarious. Your puppy will run out of poop eventually lol

I don't think you know how poop works; It just keeps coming and coming from the moment you are born until you die...

Well, how about you stop eating dairy products then?

Never really understood why lol

Same reason people do recreational drugs and drink alcohol... The doing part is pleasurable, it's the after effects that cause regret.

But, but, there's lactose free alternatives! A lot of them!

And you kan drink non-alcohol drinks but people with such problems still drink alcohol

I've been lactose intollerant for about half of my life now. I know exactly how it is, and I can say with certainty that it is not that hard to either cut the consumption or substitute it.

Put her in diapers? I've seen it done before.

They do that for dogs that are on their period...

You're a complete retard.

Where are you getting your info? Dogs do have periods, have you ever lived with a female dog who wasn't fixed? They have periods every six months to a year and they definitely do bleed. Trust me, I know from experience of having three female dogs.

lol. the blood on my sister's friend's shorts begs to differ. He was not so happy about the situation.

I'm guessing you've never had a female dog, they do indeed bleed..

#36 you sure? Gross as it is, my dog crawled on my boyfriend while on her period and bled on him.

I've seen diapers on incontinent dogs too, usually older ones. It's sort of a last resort, but certainly not unheard of.

@#38 You've CLEARLY never owned a dog that had it's period. My blood-stained mattress and carpet beg to differ.

You should put her outside for the time being, it will help to show her that what she is doing is wrong and it should train the bad habit out. A little bit of tough love is required when training puppies. Don't be afraid to show her who's boss.

As someone who lives next door to neighbors who only keep their dogs outside, no you should not keep a dog outside. Especially at night time. I haven't slept properly in years due to the constant barking and it gets hot during the day in the south. If OP got a puppy, I'm sure he is willing to care for it properly.

"Put her outside for the time being,"

I'm sorry, but just putting a puppy outside isn't going to 'teach' it a lesson. The puppy is not going to associate it's peeing and pooping with being put outside until you build the connection for it to want to go eliminate outside. The puppy is just going to be like 'oh hey, I'm outside now, oh cool grass'. They don't have that great of a memory or the ability to connect things until you show them enough times that they make the connection. This is known as training. Lol. Storing a puppy outside until it magically learns is not training, and not helpful.

take her outside and flatulate away

That's actually a pretty good idea.

Well thats a shitty situation. No pun intended.

Congratulations, you're now "that guy".

"Deez nutz"

I'd rather him not own up to it, it's easier to dislike him this way.

Yeah, just bring her outside and when she poops or pees give her a treat and congratulate her like crazy to show that it's good. And if she goes in the house scold her and bring her outside. I had a litter of 4 puppies in my house, believe me it gets better lol.

I believe you ?

It's just another challenge in training your puppy, but if you succeed, you won't regret in the future.

You can get lactose enzyme pills you know, or just stop having dairy.

That's unfortunate, but if you knew you weren't lactose tolerant, then why were you eating dairy?