Work: Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 92

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 40

14/06/2013 05:57

Today, while working the register, a known mentally-unstable man approached me. He ended up telling me that the Statue of Liberty is sexist and a screw-up by Washington. When I told him that the French made it, he told me to shut up and complained to my manager. He knows me by name now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 471

You deserved it 5 018

Laundry drama

I CAN HEAR YOU

Not now, please

15/01/2011 04:24

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 549

You deserved it 3 399

01/09/2010 06:16

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 658

You deserved it 4 305

10/07/2009 06:20

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 272

You deserved it 39 165

30/07/2011 05:14

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 103

You deserved it 10 638

Truth

By why - 04/11/2015 01:13

Today, it's easier to buy a house than it is to get out of a gym contract. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 770

You deserved it 2 169

13/08/2015 17:39

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 405

You deserved it 2 977

12/01/2013 08:14

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 022

You deserved it 44 144

28/11/2009 07:23

Today, I used the same credit card to apply to college and pay for a rave ticket. My card went through on the rave ticket but denied the college application fee. I guess my credit card is trying to tell me something about my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 186

You deserved it 10 564

11/07/2015 12:51

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 641

You deserved it 3 213

No-life

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 20:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to spend alone time playing FIFA instead of having a relationship. If I ever find the CEO of EA Sports, I’m throwing hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 231

10/01/2016 19:55

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 256

You deserved it 5 065

27/05/2015 13:39

Today, my dad stood by and nodded in agreement as my sister told me that my clinical depression is "getting REALLY old." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 457

You deserved it 4 011

16/08/2009 14:32

Spicy

Today, I was at the lake watching a romantic sunset with my boyfriend. He tenderly started touching my thigh, then started shaking my leg to the rhythm while singing the J-E-L-L-O theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 754

You deserved it 8 072

15/06/2019 09:00

Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 433

25/09/2013 07:19

Today, I found out that the vacation my mom has been planning to "repair our relationship" was just an opportunity to change her Facebook profile picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 484

You deserved it 2 713

10/06/2009 06:38

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 134

You deserved it 3 633

Karen strikes again

By lanadelreylover - 04/06/2021 17:01

Today, I was working at a carnival. I was on the ticket booth, and middle aged lady came up asking for a refund for $50 worth of tickets she didn’t use. However, there are signs saying I can’t give out refunds. She spent 10 minutes yelling at me to give her a refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 58

04/12/2017 06:00

Today, my third day training for a half marathon, I tripped and broke both of my ankles and one wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 602

You deserved it 380

30/01/2015 02:50

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 2 222

23/06/2019 14:23

Today, while talking to a friend, I momentarily forgot the word for archery and instead called it, “Bow-and-Arrow Jutsu.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 156

You deserved it 512

16/02/2009 13:01

Today, I drank a ton of beers for my 25th birthday. My friends love to watch me open beer bottles with my teeth. I chipped both of my front uppers doing this. I'm no longer covered by my parents dental insurance because I'm 25 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 840

You deserved it 71 954

12/08/2014 10:21

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 694

You deserved it 40 599

14/03/2015 08:22

Spicy

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 173

You deserved it 8 238

Pee is stored in the balls

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I learned two things: first, that a bladder infection may spread to your testicles, and second, that the first does not excuse you from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 68

27/11/2018 09:30

Today, I went to open my store but corporate had changed the locks without notice. The store's being sold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 834

You deserved it 123

30/05/2016 16:35

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some alone time under the stars. Things were getting hot and heavy in my truck bed and clothes went everywhere. After getting dressed, I felt pain. Little did I know that I threw my underwear in an ant pile. I got bit down south, a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 524

You deserved it 3 762

12/03/2011 08:34

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 122

You deserved it 43 142

06/10/2015 15:29

Today, my clinical instructor told me to stop being so negative, to get over myself, and to focus on nursing school. I'm only distracted because 3 days ago I was told I might have colon cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 888

You deserved it 1 460

Family dinner [gone racist]

By Thanks everyone - 28/08/2013 22:35

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 990

You deserved it 5 055

09/10/2010 08:22

Today, in math class, I got an answer "wrong." The teacher yelled at me, then he realized that my answer was correct. Then he yelled at me for not correcting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 781

You deserved it 3 106

04/12/2018 14:00

Today I was really hitting it off with my blind date and was eager to arrange a second date. I gave him my number and he decided to call my phone so I could save his number. My phone didn’t ring. He got upset because he thought I gave him a fake number and stormed off. The battery was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 999

You deserved it 406

Broke

By PinChi - 31/08/2021 21:01

Spicy

Today, I found out that my wife's OnlyFans account is the only thing keeping us solvent. Also, that my wife has an OnlyFans account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 191

05/06/2011 20:31

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 997

You deserved it 7 562

25/07/2019 16:00

Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 120

You deserved it 183

15/04/2012 04:24

Spicy

Today, I played a game with my boyfriend. The point of the game is to write down everything you like about someone. I put down at least ten things for him. He had one thing down for me: my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 021

You deserved it 6 005

02/08/2010 01:59

Today, I pretended to go for a run to impress someone on AIM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 183

You deserved it 38 927

19/01/2011 18:54

Today, at work, I helped out an employee who was having trouble. I even bought her a bottle of water. After the production manager decided to fire her on the spot, she went out in the parking lot and broke into several cars, including mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 068

You deserved it 2 660

09/01/2010 08:16

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved his flaming red hair. He told me that he loved the fuzz on my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 106

You deserved it 7 496

06/06/2010 16:00

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 944

You deserved it 34 089

31/12/2009 00:03

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 772

You deserved it 56 279

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:14

Never argue with a crazy person. All it does is drag you down to their level, and bystanders won't be able to tell the difference.

ManInTheMachine 19

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:17

You'd be suprised, Welshite. We all know what happened the last time someone disagreed with him... They were never heard from again. Ever.

Comments

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:14

Never argue with a crazy person. All it does is drag you down to their level, and bystanders won't be able to tell the difference.

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:15

I don't agree, Doc. :p

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:16

It's ok, Noor. He'll never be able to drag me down to his level.

ManInTheMachine 19

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:17

You'd be suprised, Welshite. We all know what happened the last time someone disagreed with him... They were never heard from again. Ever.

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:18

Arguing with a crazy person is like trying to get water out of stone. You can try all you want, but you'll only end up not winning and feeling tired.

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:23

Some say he draws personal inspiration from Sweeney Todd, some say he madder than the mad hatter... but all we know he's called DocBastard.

perdix 29

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Friday 14 June 2013 17:26

#1, Sssshhh! If people took your advice, no one would ever talk to me! I like to think I'm bringing them UP to my level, but, then again, I'm crazy :P

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Friday 14 June 2013 20:35

By confronting a mentally unstable person, you do two things: 1-you potentially piss him or her off, and 2-you give them the opportunity to find out who you are. Why do you think hospital personnel don't have their names in two inch bold face letters on the front if their ID badges anymore? Too many nut bags out there roaming free.

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Tuesday 18 June 2013 20:47

Doc is right (as normal). whenever i used to deal with people with obvious learning difficulties i'd just humour whatever they said. the only time i spoke up was when one man started being racist to a colleague. sometimes they don't know what they're saying is wrong so it's better to just remain vague

Pauschinator 22

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:15

Them crazy people are living in their own world, you should just let them live there and believe their own beliefs.

KeXu 6

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Friday 14 June 2013 17:46

Four score and seven years ago

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Saturday 15 June 2013 3:13

I agree, 3. YDI, simply because you knew he was a little mentally unstable, and provoked him anyway. You can't reason with someone like that, why would you try at work?

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Saturday 15 June 2013 5:25

Are you suggesting that the crazy person in the FML is black?

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Saturday 15 June 2013 5:27

# 33

FALLENSEBZERO 16

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:16

Run, get the kids. Just run! He knows who you are now!

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Saturday 15 June 2013 1:07

Hide your kids hide your wife

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Tuesday 11 February 2014 9:22

Why didn't op just agree with him?

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:16

You're never supposed to correct people like that. Just nod your head, & smile. But since it's too late for you, what color would you like your coffin?

da_directioner39 17

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Friday 14 June 2013 18:22

Make it blue!

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:18

Just nod and smile.. Nod and smile.

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Friday 14 June 2013 23:56

'Just smile and wave boys, just smile and wave'. - Skipper

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:19

That's a really tough situation to be in. But I'm sure your manager understood the situation and hopefully you weren't in any serious trouble!

ManInTheMachine 19

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:19

Just tell him it's a pseudonym, and your real name is Whatsitoya.

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Friday 14 June 2013 17:34

How about Nunyabusiness.

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Friday 14 June 2013 17:54

Pete Siria

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Friday 14 June 2013 18:49

captain for this "pete siria"?

RandomCommentor 2

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:20

Next time, just nod and agree.

tpm45 25

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:28

Nod and agree... Then apologize to everyone else in the store afterwards.

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Friday 14 June 2013 16:29

To quench his insane thirst you need to say things equally crazy as him. It is the only way for him to accept you and not come after you with a shank.