Work: Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer... - FML

By mynameisnotstupid - 18/03/2016 15:05 - Germany - Munich

Today, while working in a customer service call center, a customer berated me for using a fake name. He said my name is "too stupid" to be real and that no sane person would ever use it. It was my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 503

You deserved it 1 350

You tried

Commando

Litter

Hedging your bets

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 05:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized I've been avoiding a doctor's visit for issues, because it might be less painful to go out that way than to see how much more a crapshoot 2021 would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 153

Cheap-ass perv!

By Allison Arsenault - 07/06/2020 08:08

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 427

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 589

You deserved it 2 881

By anonymous - 07/05/2014 23:06 - United States

Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 5 688

The sweet smell of unsuccess

By Anonymous - 26/07/2020 23:00

Today, it marks the 3-month anniversary of adopting the 'I don't have the slightest chance at success' attitude at work. In those 3 months, my boss, my coworkers and my boss's boss have all agreed and our relationships have greatly improved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 182

Serious times

By GreatBlakWarior - 07/09/2020 08:03 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, after several unsuccessful job interviews, I'm starting to feel emotionally down as both my mum and myself are out of work due to Covid. I even applied as a call centre agent with a friend that offered training. He got accepted and I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 141

You deserved it 218

By France Howell - 10/05/2018 15:00

Today, I rushed my wife to the ER because she was having abdominal pains. She was crying in the car and very faintly said, "If I die, our daughter goes to my sister and they get everything in my will." We later found out she was just having a bad gas problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 754

You deserved it 335

Burned!

By nali1122 - 22/10/2019 12:00

Today, I received a text forward from a good friend inviting me to his birthday party. Jokingly, I texted back, "No. I hate you and I don't want to go to your lame party." He replied with an apology for the mix-up, because he'd accidentally sent me the invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 2 506

By NotoriousSRJ - 28/01/2011 15:43 - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 873

You deserved it 4 282

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 820

You deserved it 6 065

By Anonymous - 12/08/2019 06:02

Today, I saw a guy at a bar that looked cute. I didn't dare talk to him, though. When I was on my way home, drunkenly singing the entire way, I finally noticed he was walking along behind me. Probably for about 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 329

You deserved it 478

By FoxyManicLiar - 27/09/2010 21:06 - France

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 326

You deserved it 3 167

By Austin Franklin - 18/03/2012 11:41 - United States

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 869

You deserved it 47 246

Look-alikes

By Anonymous - 24/10/2019 12:00

Today, the guy I really like told me that I look exactly like Kathy Bates. I'm only 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 170

By Eres - 11/02/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, my mom took away my medication. She's afraid I'll get "hooked". The medication is anti-anxiety pills. I have horrible anxiety attacks that sometimes cause me to scratch my arms until they bleed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 105

You deserved it 4 494

By Stingraybeemonster - 07/04/2016 08:51 - Thailand

Today, I was snorkeling when a stingray suddenly appeared when I thought I was just looking at sand. It startled me, so my heel made contact with a sea urchin so that then startled me, and my other foot hit another one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 363

You deserved it 2 269

By rmb131 - 20/03/2009 04:33 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I went to the dentist. He asked me to lean my head closer to him so he could get a better look at my teeth. He was hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 766

You deserved it 6 351

By Anonymous - 02/07/2015 02:04 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 667

You deserved it 2 545

By anonymous - 06/07/2016 13:53 - United States

Today, I got a question wrong on an exam. The question started with, "In your opinion..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 541

You deserved it 1 969

By Anonymous - 20/11/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was enjoying the benefits of marriage with my new husband. We were changing positions when my joints started crackling and popping like my mother's did when I was a kid. My husband stopped, concerned about my possible pain... I'm 20 years old and pop like an arthritic 50 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 527

You deserved it 3 858

By 3hoursleftofwork - 28/03/2012 18:02 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 685

You deserved it 5 331

By Anonymous - 22/03/2014 22:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, the guy I've been dating told me with a wink that before he'll go on any more dates, he'd require me to take a series of "oral exams" to prove I'm right for him. I think he actually expected that to work. NEXT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 477

You deserved it 6 125

By steveinnewsoh - 18/01/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 935

You deserved it 2 906

By yessir - 01/12/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend rear ended a cop car because he was texting me. I was sitting next to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 287

You deserved it 28 037

By kiwichick4life - 30/07/2013 16:42 - United States - Pickerington

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 566

You deserved it 14 134

Shoulda checked, dude

By FdUp_at32 - 20/10/2020 08:02 - United States - Southfield

Today, a tattoo artist angrily threw me out of his store because an "88" tattoo is apparently a Nazi thing, representing “Heil Hitler.” I just wanted my birth year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 452

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 809

You deserved it 7 708

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 135

By NathanA - 08/07/2013 23:54 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer because her entrée was too fishy. I'm not the chef, just the waiter and I work at a fish grill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 236

You deserved it 2 832

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Spicy

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 906

You deserved it 27 310

By Kimmikoto - 31/01/2017 07:00 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, the vet told me that my cat is too fat to be able to wipe her own ass. I had to go Walmart to purchase pet wipes to clean her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 854

You deserved it 3 503

By Anonymous - 28/07/2013 04:59 - United States

Today, because I refused to shave off what my wife calls my "pedo 'stache", she painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 903

You deserved it 29 928

Clean your room

By Anonymous - 02/06/2021 11:01

Today, I've pretty much given up hope that she’ll ever learn to tidy up after herself. I just wish I could dock her allowance every time she makes me clean up her mess. Why can’t I? Because I’m not actually her mother. In fact, she’s mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 95

By unhappy - 07/06/2015 18:23 - United States - San Anselmo

Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 941

You deserved it 3 940

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 262

By iAMloud - 19/03/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, I was riding to a prom with my friends in the middle of a swamp-covered area. I stuck my head out the top and screamed like they do in the movies. My hair, makeup, and mouth were quickly filled with bugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 455

You deserved it 67 455

By Badday - 25/10/2009 04:38 - Canada

Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 920

You deserved it 29 852

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 194

You deserved it 38 013

By kringr - 06/06/2011 00:52 - United States

Today, I went to my high school reunion. I was super excited to see what everyone had done in their lives. The nerdy guy I bullied is now a U.S. Marine and already has two deployments in Afghanistan under his belt. He looked at me in his dress blues and said, "I remember you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 195

You deserved it 134 222

By rackman007 - 13/05/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was wearing my new sunglasses while watching a basketball game. A pretty hot looking girl was sitting a few spots next to me so I stared at her breasts. A few minutes later, I looked up at her face and she was looking at me in disgust. It turns out that my sunglasses were see through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 252

You deserved it 91 794

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

slingerslasher 24

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:18

I'm so sorry, Mr. Dick Long.

totallynotemily 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:18

What is your name?

Comments

totallynotemily 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:18

What is your name?

Diarrhea_Volcano 29

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:47

Mr . White

Dave_Davington 33

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:48

I'm guessing Mike Hunt.

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:54

Ben dover

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:55

You're damn right it is.

LostInTheZone11 28

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:58

Better than Mr. Pink.

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 2:30

Seymour Asses

Animeisthebest1 14

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 7:35

Francis

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 8:48

Anita Pea

LyricaSilvan 29

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 9:08

Nova Caine?

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 14:25

I guess it's something like "Suq Madiq" or seeing as it comes from Germany maybe Alfons Hettler

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 19:09

Mike hawk

rachelthelime_fml 29

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 23:21

Eileen Dover

laden_swallow09 34

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 23:34

Gaylen Faggitt? No, seriously. Some poor guy really was given that name as a child. Dafuq is wrong with parents?

Send a private message

Sunday 20 March 2016 1:18

Haywood Jablome

Send a private message

Sunday 20 March 2016 2:59

Ajax.?

IDontKnowaName73 17

Send a private message

Sunday 20 March 2016 5:01

I commend you for your whovian-ness

adamqwertyuiop 7

Send a private message

Sunday 20 March 2016 19:52

Mike litoris

Send a private message

Monday 21 March 2016 7:22

Biggus Dickus?

nodai 13

Send a private message

Monday 21 March 2016 15:39

Stan Lee, that or Tony Stark. Jemima Maple?

Send a private message

Wednesday 30 March 2016 23:45

66 it's Francis

slingerslasher 24

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:18

I'm so sorry, Mr. Dick Long.

friedpwnadge 25

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:47

Fuck I accidentally down voted. please regard the above comment as having two more upvotes than it appears to have.

slingerslasher 24

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 3:08

I appreciate it, Zoidberg

Send a private message

Sunday 20 March 2016 12:42

Hugh G Rection

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:19

Sorry OP. I'm sure your name isn't stupid, just not the common names the guy was used to

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:23

Too bad, Hugh Jass.

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 16:33

"Hello, this is Hugh Jass."

Demon_of_Light 27

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 17:05

Cook Pu? Is that you?

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:23

hugh janus

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:24

Don't worry the she just jealous her names isn't as cool as yours!!!

Youtube_Troll 12

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:28

I hate when people do things like this. My name is really easy to say so is my mothers families, but every time we go anywhere people say our names out loud and pronounce them like they have never read a book.

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:57

Okay, but what name? I work in a call center, too, and it's easy after they show you how to pronounce Aluwhalia and Kamaharenthy and Sengkeyomxay, but not to look at.

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:30

Some people are just so insensitive. Cheer up, Satan Johnson.

PotatoesAndCake 26

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:31

And your name is...? We need a follow-up

Send a private message

Saturday 19 March 2016 1:32

I'm sure things will look up for you Ben Dover

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 6

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 129

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 96