Work: Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids...

By MC - 14/05/2009 14:11 - Canada

Today, while working at a children's day camp, one of the kids who is allergic to peanuts went into anaphylactic shock. I ran and grabbed the boys eppe pen. I was holding it backwards so the injection went into my hand, causing me to pass out and both of us to be rushed to hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 584

You deserved it 56 679

Work

Mother of the year

Our house, in the middle of our street

Mama's boy

By mj - 05/06/2011 20:20 - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 253

You deserved it 3 357

By WhatTheFaf - 01/09/2011 14:40 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 950

You deserved it 2 959

Good enough reason

By Anonymous - 17/05/2017 20:00

Today, I finally found out why my girlfriend doesn't want kids. She discovered Rugrats recently and, after binge watching the whole series, decided that our would-be children would be too adventurous for us to handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 064

You deserved it 448

By lonely - 15/07/2010 05:19 - United States

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 538

You deserved it 20 499

By Anonymous - 25/04/2015 12:58 - India - Mumbai

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 279

You deserved it 3 095

By FML - 29/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 181

You deserved it 7 486

By ShouldBeSingleSoon - 26/03/2013 04:15 - United States - Lincoln

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 176

You deserved it 10 125

By really - 01/11/2014 01:16 - United States

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 3 227

By Kolkata - 05/08/2012 23:25 - Canada

Today, my son surprised me on my birthday with tickets to a concert I really wanted to see. I was excited, especially since I planned to buy them but couldn't due to the fact it was too expensive. I was ecstatic, until I found out he'd stolen my credit card to buy them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 549

You deserved it 2 312

By samsterling - 13/03/2016 22:30 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 300

You deserved it 4 163

By Namaslayed - 16/10/2015 18:04 - India - Mumbai

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 018

You deserved it 17 030

By me - 21/03/2013 10:25 - United Kingdom - Chichester

Today, I finally got to meet my boyfriend's parents; it turns out that his mum is my therapist. I've just spent an entire morning telling her how confused I am about my sexuality. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 6 603

By Anonymous - 07/01/2015 16:29 - Sri Lanka

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 543

You deserved it 2 780

Precision flinging

By oh god why - 06/10/2019 00:01

Today, while I was changing my tampon, I somehow managed to fling period blood into my eye. I wish I was making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 219

By nobodywasthere - 12/09/2017 01:30

Today, I rushed onto the metro to get to work. I found there were no seats left and asked a perfectly healthy guy to let me sit in the handicap spot. He refused to because "being tired" was a handicap characteristic. I have one leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 632

You deserved it 271

Leave some for the rest of us

By Fourth Wheel - 15/07/2021 11:01

Today, I met up with a couple I know, who wanted to introduce me to someone. I thought they were setting me up with her, but no. They were coming out as polyamorous, and she was their new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 116

Nutty

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, i discovered I can only get an erection in the presence of a real woman. My days of busting nuts alone are over. Except I don't have a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 240

By Human fly - 21/04/2013 06:20 - Canada - Maple Ridge

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 079

You deserved it 46 401

By jynxisadouchebag - 27/02/2015 00:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 302

You deserved it 5 797

By Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bath room, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 341

By fucking SUCKS let's do it LIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEE! - 10/12/2015 13:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend jumped into my arms for a kiss. She's done it before, but this time I wasn't expecting it. I fell backwards, straight through my glass coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 650

You deserved it 2 046

By Insanity - 09/04/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 090

You deserved it 7 728

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 511

You deserved it 53 453

By mirandatheunicorn - 17/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was having a beautiful lucid dream when a telemarketer called at 5AM, waking me up. I silenced my phone and went back to sleep, and was somehow able to resume my lucid dream. Then my phone vibrated me awake. It was the same telemarketer, this time calling at 7AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 169

You deserved it 254

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 16:00

Today, I woke up with really sore abs; not from working out at the gym, but because I've been coughing for 3 days straight and nothing is helping. Now every time I cough, it physically hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 119

By Idigrespectfulattire - 18/03/2015 00:18 - Trinidad and Tobago - Port-of-spain

Today, my brother wore a T-shirt to my birthday party that said "I dig skinny chicks". I'm a recovering anorexic and told him that I didn't really like his shirt. His response? "Don't let the liberal media brainwash you into thinking it's OK to be fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 332

You deserved it 4 984

By Nick Nameous - 01/01/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 184

You deserved it 5 266

Subjective

By whyyyyy - 17/05/2020 23:00

Today, after months of dating, I finally saw my boyfriend naked. Turns out he has a micropenis. I assured him that I like him for who he was and that we could explore other things. He said no, because oral and sex toys are "immoral." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 949

You deserved it 299

By Frozen - 10/03/2014 14:23 - United States

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 536

You deserved it 4 060

Hot pixels

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 16:59

Today, after months of having my standards lowered by how unattractive guys' dating profiles are, I found myself masturbating to the yellow guy from Sin City. Yep. He's hot compared to my real options. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 548

Spelling is hard

By WTFFAIL - 03/12/2009 09:08 - United States

Today, I finished a 50-page term end thesis essay on the history of Russia. Looking over the final requirements once more, I find I made just a tiny little mistake. It was supposed to be a thesis on "Prussia". The paper's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 39 742

Not the one

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 16:00

Today, my ex, who I'm still love with, told me he's engaged. We weren't together for long because he didn't want a committed relationship. Guess it was just me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 204

Billy no-mates

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 02:01

Today, I feel both happy and jealous of my father. It's his birthday and he has received over 100 times more phone calls than me. I'd had two: one from my local bank manager and one from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 257

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 569

You deserved it 39 893

By dsamanthas - 23/02/2014 08:10 - United States - Covina

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 611

You deserved it 8 306

By Anonymous - 10/02/2012 16:12 - United States

Today, I noticed that I have gained enough weight to give me back boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 773

You deserved it 34 608

By Crash44 - 08/07/2019 02:03

Today, my girlfriend and I broke the news to my parents that we're having a baby. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "It's probably not yours." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 232

By wtf - 15/08/2010 12:52 - United States

Today, I found out that my overprotective parents hired a private investigator a month ago, who since then has been watching my perfectly normal boyfriend, in case he "tries to rape or kill" me. We're both 25 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 235

You deserved it 2 883

By effiestonem154 - 02/04/2013 21:14 - United States

Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 271

You deserved it 2 845

By Devon - 03/09/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 017

You deserved it 5 029

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Top comments

kellster 2

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:24

Not panicking is a good thing. Also, paying attention during the first aid training. And it's "epi pen", for the record.

krissy33 0

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 20:08

Too bad you can't spell anything else....

kellster 2

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:24

Not panicking is a good thing. Also, paying attention during the first aid training. And it's "epi pen", for the record.

daniel1_1 13

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Tuesday 16 February 2010 4:23

hahahah

dabomblyktiktikk 0

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Monday 7 June 2010 3:34

lol even i noe its spelled epi pen and im13, and im not allerqic to nethinqq....

krissy33 0

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 20:08

Too bad you can't spell anything else....

Macromartyr 3

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Friday 6 August 2010 8:35

Kinda weird how you managed to get epi right but you couldn't spell anything else right :S. (202)

Curtieeeez 0

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:24

I'm sorry, but you failed.. FYL D:

Demon_Squirtle 0

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:24

This is very unfortunate. Hopefully the both of you are ok.

JD797 0

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:26

FYL? How about the kid's who was dying because you didn't know how to use the right side of a pen? My brother's deathly allergic to peanuts too and he's had several close calls, so I can empathize with the kid, but seriously, this is an F HIS L, stop feeling sorry for yourself

lmmmr 0

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:27

At least you tried. #4- Unless you have been around highly allergic people before you're not likely to know precisely how to administer the medication.

nightngale 0

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Thursday 14 May 2009 20:28

I wasn't aware that you could pass out from too much epinephrine (aka adrenaline). Interesting...

xNephilim 18

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Sunday 5 December 2010 20:18

I'm completely allergy free, have no friends who're allergic enough to own an epi pen, but even I know that adrenaline can kill you if it's overdosed. It causes your heart to speed up. What do you think happens when you're pulse is going crazy? Yeah, you pass out. Or die.