Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me... - FML

By Anonymous - 25/4/2009 21:51 - United States

Today, while walking through the halls of my high school, me and my boyfriend shared a quick kiss. A young teacher walks by and tells us to stop due to Personal Display of Affection rules at our school. She then looks at my boyfriend and tells him he could do so much better. FML

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Messed up

Alexa, play "The Lovecats" by The Cure

Deep-seated resentment

By harrassment101 - 25/12/2009 08:10 - United States

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/12/2011 17:07 - United States

Today, I couldn't find my phone. Worried that I'd accidentally thrown it in the trash, I emptied out all the bins and searched the garbage. An hour later, my daughter said she'd found it by the bathroom sink. FML

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By KatieElizabeth - 27/10/2013 04:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

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By petty petty petty - 8/9/2017 16:00

Today, my mom yelled at me for fighting with my younger brother. Not because she wanted us to stop, but because my brother couldn't find a good comeback to my argument. FML

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By lpspann87 - 25/4/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML

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By Academia - 18/8/2011 08:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I got accepted into University onto a course I don't want to do, but my parents said they would disown me if I didn't go. I believe them: they haven't spoken to my shop assistant sister in about three years now. FML

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By icybrent94 - 5/8/2012 20:21 - United Kingdom - Arlesey

Today, I decided to have some fun by joining a Harry Potter forum and making a thread saying it's all for little kids. When I checked back later, my post had been edited into me tearfully coming out of the closet, and some guy had said he'd passed my details on to Anonymous. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/7/2012 22:47 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

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By NotAnUglyBaby - 22/3/2016 22:40 - Mexico - C?rdoba

Today, while vacationing, a small boy asked to see the baby I was holding, wrapped in a blanket. I showed him, and his face reflexively scrunched up. The boy's mother came and apologized to me. Her face scrunched up too. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/8/2013 16:33 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

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By tara22 - 27/4/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to throw me against the wall and kiss me like they do in the movies. Being all aggressive and smooth, he grabs my shirt and pushes me. He pushed a little too hard and my head was thrown back into the wall. I was knocked out for ten minutes. FML

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By Anonymous - 9/3/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, I had to patiently listen as a customer nattered on and on about how incompetent I was for not stocking the movie she was looking for. It took nearly 20 minutes to get her to calm down long enough for me to explain that there is no such movie as "Hobbits With Shotguns". FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2012 04:58 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

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By lexiibabe - 25/6/2019 18:30 - United States - Attleboro

Today, my older brother gave me his old phone. He didn't realize that he hadn't deleted his pictures. I found a bunch of him wearing my underwear and bras. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/4/2016 03:26 - United States

Today, my neighbor called the cops on me, all because he heard me speaking Arabic. I was on the phone with my grandmother in Egypt. FML

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By IGOTIT - 5/9/2013 07:24 - United States - Fountain Valley

Today, my boyfriend took me to a very elegant and expensive restaurant to celebrate our anniversary. When it came to the check, I volunteered to pitch in half, which he rejected by saying "I got it". Little did I know was that "I got it" was short for "I got your credit card". FML

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By concernedsis - 4/2/2016 14:53 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/12/2010 17:38 - United States

Today, I was telling one of my patients I was upset because my sister wants to go to beauty school, and that I don't want her getting a worthless qualification and to aim higher. My patient replied saying she is a hair dresser. FML

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By Amberain - 16/8/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

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By Anonymous - 11/5/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I took my parents and 3 sisters to the airport so they could take a trip to Hawaii. I wasn't invited because they don't like my husband. They asked me to watch the dog and water the plants. FML

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By BadKitty - 11/9/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2012 10:43 - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

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By disneyworld - 14/2/2010 05:49 - United States

Today, my dad decides to tell me he's taking the whole family to disney world, even my step-brother's girlfriend. But not me, because he can't "afford" it. FML

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By hackling fellow - 10/3/2011 13:17

Today, I was painting my mom's house, which so far had taken 12 hours over two days. All of a sudden there was a wind storm. All of the leaves stuck to the wet paint. FML

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By reallyman__639 - 13/12/2011 12:26 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML

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By amy1023 - 26/11/2009 10:18 - United States

Today, I complained to my boyfriend that I was stressed out. He asked me then "What do you have to be stressed out about?" I work 50 hours a week and go to school full time. I ask him what was stressful about his day, he told me that his "kill/death ratio went down on Call of Duty". FML

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By emliv12 - 25/5/2012 07:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

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By melons - 3/7/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

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By blegh - 1/4/2011 02:42 - United States

Today, I fell going down the stairs to the subway platform during rush hour. Someone was kind enough to help me up and someone else was kind enough to steal my iPhone which had fallen out of my pocket and landed nearby. FML

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By vanity113 - 13/6/2013 04:04 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I woke up early to travel to the office headquarters 3.5 hours away for important meetings. After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realised I was wearing my woolen house slippers. They were the only pair of shoes I'd brought on the trip. FML

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By disgustedgf - 28/6/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

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By i have failed so very badly - 7/4/2017 18:51 - United States - Syracuse

Today, I found out our eight-year-old son lied about his former babysitter beating him. The babysitter's already thrashed us on social media for believing our son, and now no one in town is willing to babysit for us. Looks like date night is cancelled. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2017 13:00

Today, workers came to my house to fix residual moisture damage in my walls left behind by Hurricane Irma. Said workers then burst a water pipe and flooded my entire apartment in the time it took figure out how to turn it off. FML

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By Allen - 26/5/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I brought home a vase, which I was proud of, that I made for my mother in my pottery class. My mother took one look at it and said, "Oh good, you can sell that in our garage sale." FML

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By Anonymous - 12/10/2020 08:01

When pranks go wrong

Today, as punishment for a prank, my girlfriend has banned all forms of sex, kissing or touching for the foreseeable future. She’s also started stripping as soon as she gets home and walking around in just her thong, or sometimes even completely naked, just to make my suffering worse. FML

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By Journo - 27/4/2009 19:46 - United States

Today, after two months of unemployment, I got a call from a marketing firm offering me an interview for an entry-level position. While Googling the company, I discovered it's a scam. I graduated college in 3 years with a 3.5 GPA, and the only interview I can get is at a fake company. FML

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By future brain bleach addict - 2/5/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

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By TrophyGirlfriend - 17/8/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was fired. After breaking the news, he also broke up with me. Apparently, his boss had a creepy crush on me and would give my boyfriend bonuses for bringing me to company events and, occasionally, out on the boss's personal boat. Looks like I am no longer useful. FML

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By Rob - 9/10/2010 04:09 - United States

Today, I got chased, threatened and assaulted by a cab driver because I wouldn't take the credit card receipt. FML

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By ugh - 12/11/2014 03:31 - United States - Antioch

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me over some rumors he heard about me. These rumors are from high-school, seven years ago. FML

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Top comments

By actonthat | 0

#143248 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:25

I feel like you probably meant "Public Displays of Affection."

(Though, I'm torn over whether or not it should be capitalized. Meh.)

By SherriffBacon | 0

#143243 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:24

That sucks, forget that teacher. Most of them don't know what the hell is going on anyway,

COMMENTS

By SherriffBacon | 0

#143243 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:24

That sucks, forget that teacher. Most of them don't know what the hell is going on anyway,

Reply

v8rax | 0

#2301935 - Wednesday 6 April 2011 6:07

smack a hoe

By alex_vik | 0

#143247 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:25

Follow the rules.

By actonthat | 0

#143248 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:25

I feel like you probably meant "Public Displays of Affection."

(Though, I'm torn over whether or not it should be capitalized. Meh.)

Reply

aleasucks | 0

#3157105 - Monday 22 August 2011 6:46

Reply

iBiteRoses | 22

#3449037 - Tuesday 18 October 2011 7:51

It is capitalized generally, if I'm not mistaken... idk

Reply

feven | 32

#5753579 - Wednesday 13 November 2013 21:21

Mehh.

By nickk_v | 0

#143251 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:26

haha wow that sucks.
but it's true.

By MukyDaCookie | 0

#143257 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:27

PDA not A-OK!
Its too bad that he realised now that he can do better, you probably worked really hard to get him to think you were all he could get. Ah well, 5 minutes on the knees and he won't leave ;)

Reply

Dr_Awesome654 | 24

#6672337 - Tuesday 16 August 2016 2:50

It is so clear that you are single

By qwertyuiop8989 | 0

#143259 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:27

it's PUBLIC YOU DUMBASS!! not personal.

By esagalyn | 0

#143260 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:27

This can't be true. I find it very difficult to believe that a teacher would say that.

Reply

chelzy | 0

#1206522 - Sunday 8 August 2010 5:25

my teacher gave me the bird once. it was funny. I threw an egg at his car the next day. he knew it was me, but didn't really care. oh, and u should come to my school. teachers don't bug u about PDA. they just use the sound grenade on you.

Reply

marisalee | 0

#3630491 - Thursday 24 November 2011 16:44

My teacher told us that of any of us got fat, no one would like us. He also tries to hook up students. He's strange

Reply

Kathts7 | 12

#5849328 - Wednesday 5 February 2014 12:34

My biology teacher decided to tell my brand-fixated class that the fleece sweater I was wearing was made of pure trash :/

By akeep5 | 0

#143265 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:28

there are rules to that in your high school??
people practically have sex in the hallways of my school....
its disgusting
anyways FYL that really sucks

By walkemskies | 0

#143270 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:29

its public not personal
lol stupid

Reply

rcbarnes | 24

#4112809 - Friday 2 March 2012 3:49

I wonder who originated the error, the OP or the teacher...

Reply

yellowaholic | 25

#5598847 - Friday 26 July 2013 12:04

It's*

By spannerxox | 0

#143271 - Sunday 26 April 2009 2:30

slash her tyres

Reply

idkhaha | 4

#5025043 - Wednesday 10 October 2012 5:07

It's tires. Learn to spell

Reply

coming back in the future | 30

#6157078 - Monday 29 December 2015 10:25

Actually both are accepted.