By Anonymous - Sweden

Seeing is believing

Today, while taking a shower, I thought that the bathroom was extra steamy because of all the hot water. It wasn't until two-three minutes later when I put some shampoo in my hair that I realized I had forgotten to take my glasses off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9397

You deserved it

39387

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Health

Taking stock

The smell detective is on the case

Every little helps

By Ian Artis - United States

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29772

You deserved it

2804

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By Justmyluck

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “I need to check something down there.” I asked what but he just smiled and showed me the piece of gum he was chewing. He took a look and left to get the scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4792

You deserved it

853

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By Anonymous

Today, I've had bad gas all day. In bed, almost asleep, I felt the urge to fart, and thinking nothing of it, I let it rip. It wasn't a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1450

You deserved it

411

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By sillvy - United States

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34912

You deserved it

5502

Favorite

By Steve - 3/4/2021 21:59 - United Kingdom

Don't be a dingdong

Today, my daughter's boyfriend came to the house to pick her up. As a responsible father, I had an evil plan to torture the boy who dares date my girl, but my wife preempted my plan so during his short visit, she stood behind me the whole time with her taser down my buttcrack in case I acted up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

369

You deserved it

2324

Favorite

By smbcolorado - United States

Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40687

You deserved it

4172

Favorite

By imalwaystired - France

Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29310

You deserved it

7600

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By awkwardd - Hong Kong

Today, I went shopping with my cousin. Walking down the road, I heard her say "Can you hold my hand?" I was confused, but thought it was cute, so I held her hand and kept walking. It turns out she'd asked me to hold her bag. We didn't say another word after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33345

You deserved it

8037

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By Username

Today, I accidentally drank my sister's science project. Her science project consisted of taking a glass of orange juice and putting maggots in it to see if they would live. I thought it was just pulp. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42849

You deserved it

24825

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By Anonymous

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18594

You deserved it

7285

Favorite

By Anonymous

Not a biology major

Today, I found out my boyfriend ate glitter. When I asked him why he would do such an insane thing, he replied, "I wanted my jizz to sparkle." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1580

You deserved it

251

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By -_- - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33943

You deserved it

3169

Favorite

By flowerman - United States

Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33931

You deserved it

5194

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 19:02 - United States - Weslaco

Show me where it hurts

Today, I learned that pregnancy makes me more prone to migraines, but the only pain killer I can take makes me vomit. So I have to choose between being in pain and vomiting for hours on end. FML

I agree, your life sucks

824

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30065

You deserved it

2963

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By Anonymous - Canada - Sherwood Park

Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59387

You deserved it

7346

Favorite

By gummy bear

Today, trying to be an old-school romantic, I asked my girlfriend "where art thou my love?" via SMS. She replied "Toilet." FML

I agree, your life sucks

17486

You deserved it

30826

Favorite

By gypsy - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14225

You deserved it

37647

Favorite

By uppiskalle - United States - Riverside

Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22538

You deserved it

45554

Favorite

By grounded - United Kingdom

What ARE you doing?

Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11930

You deserved it

28021

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By Anonymous - United States - Trenton

Today, I walked from my friend's wedding to my divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29174

You deserved it

2177

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said "right now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40602

You deserved it

5026

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By scarredforlife - United States - Brooklyn

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54354

You deserved it

5013

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By shitpile - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41364

You deserved it

4032

Favorite

The vigil

Today, my boyfriend came to visit from another state. My mom didn't want me to go to his hotel and I did. When she asked about it, I lied to her and said I didn't go, and she showed me a Pic of my car outside his hotel... FML

I agree, your life sucks

908

You deserved it

2440

Favorite

By StudMuffinette - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet shih tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35151

You deserved it

2961

Favorite

By soph511 - France - Hy?res

Today, I woke up to find my cat has gone into heat. Her favorite thing to do right now is sticking her ass in my face and howling like a Nazgûl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24485

You deserved it

4641

Favorite

By jake - Australia - Sydney

Today, I dropped my kid into a crowded wishing fountain instead of a coin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24689

You deserved it

40578

Favorite

By deadfish - United States

Today, my 9 year old little sister is coming back in town with the rest of my family. She specifically asked me to feed her fish. I totally forgot until she called me 10 minutes ago to tell me she was on her way home and couldn't wait to see her fishie. He's dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8327

You deserved it

61492

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By lisha182 - Australia

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37169

You deserved it

3543

Favorite

By forever young - United States

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26374

You deserved it

52701

Favorite

By :(( - United States - Montevideo

Hip cats

Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11015

You deserved it

50851

Favorite

By antisocial - Canada

Today, I told my parents that I wasn't feeling very social and up for company. How do they try to make me feel better? By inviting a whole bunch of people I don't know to a pool party at my house. They said I should face my fears. I'm now in my room, hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31891

You deserved it

9118

Favorite

By Murphy’s Christmas

Today my husband blew a tire in a hidden pothole on the way to work. I picked him up in my car later that day, only to hit an entirely different pothole, bending my rim and catapulting my hubcap into the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2566

You deserved it

172

Favorite

By rUs7up1d - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, after pulling an all-nighter studying for an exam, I caught the bus to college. On the way there, the bus decided to make sweet love to a taxi, creating a pile-up and a traffic jam. I didn't make it to the exam in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31940

You deserved it

2267

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I set up a date between my roommate, who I'm in love with, and his crush, who I'm jealous of. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1167

You deserved it

948

Favorite

By HumanNature - Canada

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29937

You deserved it

3162

Favorite

By thanksmom - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65636

You deserved it

4097

Favorite

By bad doc

Save Me

Today, I had to repeat myself multiple times and dumb down all my anatomical terms and symptoms while describing my illness to my doctor. I want to switch, but my insurance won’t cover another one for at least 60 more days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1343

You deserved it

141

Favorite

By FartyCar

Today, I found a bag of frozen broccoli in my car boot from when I went shopping 3 days ago. My whole car smells like farts now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2021

You deserved it

976

Favorite

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Top comments

By a2z1to11 | 0

#1502705 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:02

oh no your life us ruined now!!! not the glasses

By FFML_314 | 11

#1502738 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:05

OI! It's an FML, because the OP felt really stupid for thinking the bathroom was steaming up as opposed to his glasses.
I hope you all get it and enjoyed your lesson today on FML.

COMMENTS

By a2z1to11 | 0

#1502705 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:02

oh no your life us ruined now!!! not the glasses

Vehicle | 1

#1502869 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:27

Exactly. boring. happens to me all the time. next.

Vehicle | 1

#1502872 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:27

Exactly. boring. happens to me all the time. next.

By pencilcozy | 1

#1502709 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:02

Your life must be pretty damn good if this crap qualifies as an FML.

By Liv94 | 2

#1502719 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:03

is it just me, or does this FML seem really stupid?

By EROD78 | 0

#1502721 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:03

lmao thats a blond moment! x] but kind of a dumb FML

By Shorty2592 | 0

#1502723 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:03

how is this fml?

ichliebedich_fml | 0

#1503056 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 17:01

it obviously sucks wicked bad. how dare you not understand?

By ridder215 | 7

#1502728 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:04

Does that damage ur glasses?

By FYLDeep | 25

#1502732 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:04

Why? Do you usually take your showers in cold water? Why was the presence of the hot water enough to make you conclude that?

By chall16thvet | 0

#1502734 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:05

DUMBASS

By FFML_314 | 11

#1502738 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:05

OI! It's an FML, because the OP felt really stupid for thinking the bathroom was steaming up as opposed to his glasses.
I hope you all get it and enjoyed your lesson today on FML.

noscope_ftw | 0

#1502812 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:16

more like a "oh I'm a retard" not f my life...

By EminemTM | 0

#1502741 - Tuesday 5 October 2010 16:06

yeah dumb nutt