By dempasi - 06/05/2016 18:51 - United States - Utica

Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 568
You deserved it 2 507

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People need to learn to mind their own business.

That's because it was funny, yes it's rude and I'm sorry it happened to you. But it's like a fall, it hurts the person who falls but it is still funny. If you were a comedian and you told me this happened to you, you would expect laughter.

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Awwww sorry OP, whoever said that is an asshole. As for your wife, maybe you should have a talk with her and tell her that laughing at that jerks joke upset you. Don't let people like that bring you down!

OP could also take the disguised laughter as a hint.

And you could take all the downvotes you've received as a hint as well I suppose hmm?

actually complaining about that would be pointless to her even possible to lose said wife just saying. as for the asshole i hope he steps on a lego with a nail runnin through it just saying

People need to learn to mind their own business.

People also need to learn to keep their mouths shut. If you don't have anything nice to say..

People need to learn that they're paying companies to slaughter millions of sentient beings :)))))

Oh, we already know, #37. What you don't seem to know is that people who think differently from you are not automatically ignorant or badly educated, and that you're nowhere near as morally superior to everyone else as you think.

I am not morally superior, it's just that many people are very ignorant about their food and where it comes from, and if they put just the smallest ounce of effort into researching it, then maybe they would see that their diet is destroying the planet, and i think that everyone is a good person, they are just misinformed about the food industry

Its not an option of you eat what you want, i'll eat what i want- animal agriculture is destroying the planet- 91% of Amazon rainforest destruction is due to it, 1/3 of the worlds fresh water goes to it, and it is the leading cause of species extinction. It causes 51% of all global greenhouse gas emissions. In 2040, water will be the most fought over resource in the world. I don't know about you, but i don't want my child growing up where there are wars and people dying over fresh water, and where we have eaten the planet to death. Your diet is affecting so much more than just you, and your efforts to recycle, use less paper, support WWF to stop poachers is absolutely pointless, if you are supporting the animal agricultural industry. Its not a case of choice to give up meat and dairy, its a case of needing to give up meat and dairy, for future generations.

Yea, eat dairy all you want, it ain't hurtin no damn rain forests...

I would've laughed too, TBH. At least your wife tried to not make it obvious. Still, FYL.

I'm calling fake on this one, js

That's because it was funny, yes it's rude and I'm sorry it happened to you. But it's like a fall, it hurts the person who falls but it is still funny. If you were a comedian and you told me this happened to you, you would expect laughter.

Location is New York. Yup, this FML checks out.

I think you missed a great opportunity to lock eyes with that person, look terrified and angry, then oink ferociously, jumping from leg to leg. If at all possible, generating a lot of spittle in the process would only help.

My reaction would've been to smash the joker's face in. And then laugh with my wife. After the laughter subsides, quietly tell her: "I still want the FUCKING pork chops!"

No jail. It was self defense. He assaulted me with his bad breath while slandering my good name.

Yeah, that's not how self defense works...

Enjoy squealing like a pig while you're in jail. They'll be busting your chops.

There will be no jail time. Get a FUCKING sense of humour people. It was ALL a joke. I wouldn't punch the jokester(even though their rude ass deserves it), but they would get a retort from me. And it wouldn't be a nice one. And I would still want the FUCKING pork-chops! ???

We do have a sense of humor. You're just not funny.

I see no sense of humour. I see whiny little babies who probably think Trump is a Goddamn genius! SMH. ?

Heed the wisdom of Death69

That's not how self defense works unless you're a cop. Also sometimes called a pig. Hmm...

Sorry but if that's the comment he made them maybe 1. Fucking deal with it cuz ur in America and 2. Go work out

Just tell him that you like it because it tastes like "long pig".