Love: Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that... - FML

By It wasnt even that close - Germany - Herford

Today, while shopping, I stepped a bit closer to a couple that stood in front of a display. The girl then shot me a nasty look, grabbed her boyfriend and started pointedly making out with him. I was just trying to buy some butter. But thanks for reminding me how lonely I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25448

You deserved it

1825

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

Mind control

Narcissistic parents FTW

By Anonymous - Denmark - K?ge

Today, I came home from a business trip and was greeted by a foul smell. I soon found out my husband accidentally let the milk go bad by leaving it out all day, then tried to solve the problem by "balancing the temperatures" by putting it in the freezer. Oh honey, no. Just no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23590

You deserved it

1933

Tweet

Share

By bdaygirl - United States

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34846

You deserved it

4699

Tweet

Share

By mothapuka - United Arab Emirates

Today, I went to the mall with my mum. She had a few too many drinks the night before. As soon as we got into the mall, she puked. She walked around the mall with me, blowing chunks into a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31045

You deserved it

2837

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Huron

Today, I found out I and a coworker may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13534

You deserved it

1057

Tweet

Share

By dunnough - United States

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22578

You deserved it

2668

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 1/12/2020 19:01 - Costa Rica - San José

Not now, please

Today, days before my graduation, I got sick with a virus, so I had constant vomit and incontinence. To receive my diploma, I had to wear a diaper and spend the whole graduation drinking electrolytes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

891

You deserved it

90

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I was telling my girlfriend about how my parents are flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be, because "It's on the other side of the world." We live in the USA, and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41969

You deserved it

7385

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Harker Heights

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19229

You deserved it

6620

Tweet

Share

By ohgodwhy - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63192

You deserved it

5684

Tweet

Share

By fthis - United States

Me me me

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend for an hour listening to him talk about his new truck and his final exams. I literally did not say a single word. Just as I said, "Hey baby, guess what happened to me today?", he says, "Can I go to sleep? I'm too tired to guess. Night." FML

I agree, your life sucks

33405

You deserved it

4313

Tweet

Share

By sore - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43159

You deserved it

6656

Tweet

Share

By bh2000 - 29/5/2020 17:00

Pay up

Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1609

You deserved it

143

Tweet

Share

By foreverAlone - United States - Chesapeake Beach

Today, I met a cute girl. She seemed really sweet and I was heartbroken to find out that she had fallen on hard times and was living in a shelter. I asked her if I could take her out to lunch. She said, "No." I can't even get a date with a homeless girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22312

You deserved it

5181

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49801

You deserved it

3416

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11111

You deserved it

24101

Tweet

Share

By magicmaster19

Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1667

You deserved it

221

Tweet

Share

By tammy999 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend bumped into me at McDonald's. I was sitting alone at a table with a big mac, two large fries, a large drink and 1 case of chicken nuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24843

You deserved it

37155

Tweet

Share

By FirstWeekFail

Today, I was bitching to my mom on the phone about the long, boring paper assignment my Lit professor gave us. Right after saying "that woman needs to get laid" I heard hysterical laughing behind me. I turned. Hello professor, just on my way to drop the course. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1220

You deserved it

2991

Tweet

Share

By Kevin - United States

Today, I spent almost my entire English class turned on thinking that the hot girl next to me was playing footsie with me. That is until she stood up and I realized I had been rubbing my foot on her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10130

You deserved it

46595

Tweet

Share

By westwoodcosmo - United States - Mesa

Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19247

You deserved it

3574

Tweet

Share

By Timv86 - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yells at the top of her voice 'stop following me you freak'. I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32830

You deserved it

3062

Tweet

Share

By fuckered519 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40084

You deserved it

12521

Tweet

Share

By "skinnydick" - United States - Clifton Park

Today, while riding the bus, I saw my ex-girlfriend get on. Despite several seats being open, she specifically sat next to me. I was at first happy, thinking she might want to make up. Nope, she instead blocked me in with her bag and spent the entire time showing me pictures of her new lover's dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8501

You deserved it

1035

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31602

You deserved it

7149

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I returned from vacation overseas to find I'd lost my job. The manager approved my leave, but forgot to put it in the system, so I was written up repeatedly for not showing up. If I want my job back, I have to wait 90 days and apply to start over. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2582

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By brittrus - Canada - Milton

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33657

You deserved it

3255

Tweet

Share

By kittenfish8903 - United States

Today, while cuddling in bed with my drunk boyfriend, he kissed me softly then told me under no circumstances would he ever marry me. Then kissed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45237

You deserved it

4658

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

I agree, your life sucks

22455

You deserved it

3130

Tweet

Share

By lifesuck - United States

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

33456

You deserved it

3747

Tweet

Share

By AudreyUs - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30341

You deserved it

18301

Tweet

Share

By Mintspice

Today, a girl I've liked for months agreed to go to a movie. We were going to see Captain Marvel, but missed the show time, so we saw Five Feet Apart. Blessing in disguise, right? Wrong. She cried while holding my hand as she talked about how in love she is with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1842

You deserved it

191

Tweet

Share

By shescomfortablynumb - United States

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65505

You deserved it

4750

Tweet

Share

By thereisnobaby - United States - Cadillac

Today, I was met with an unfortunate clerical error, receiving a letter from WIC with a cheery handwritten note instructing me to call when the baby arrives. I guess they forgot I was there four months ago to discuss the changes in benefits after a miscarriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12078

You deserved it

753

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Brisbane

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me via Twitter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37866

You deserved it

3847

Tweet

Share

By smarie09 - Canada

Today, I accidentally downloaded a virus, which hijacked my email program. I somehow doubt the Dean at my university will thank me for my suggestion that he too could experience 100% natural male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26034

You deserved it

5970

Tweet

Share

By BrokeandDesperate - United States

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35393

You deserved it

8266

Tweet

Share

By despacito

Today, my brother stole my hard drive and wiped it. My hard drive had a 10-page school project on it. The project is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3269

You deserved it

246

Tweet

Share

By plzstop - United States - West Lafayette

Today, I'm a college student. Just like every other goddamn day, my roommate set about twenty alarms a good two hours before she even needs to get up. She just sleeps through the first hour or so of alarms while I wake up. I've been waking up at 6 a.m., even though my first classes are at 9. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

14473

You deserved it

1331

Tweet

Share

By LarissaT18 - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39516

You deserved it

7701

Tweet

Share

By xYumix - United States

Today, I was late for an interview. Going into the elevator, a man ran up to the doors but since I was late, I pressed the "close" button. When I arrived to the office, the secretary asked me to wait. The boss walked in to interview me. The man whose face I closed the elevator doors on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7562

You deserved it

59443

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Bryce8 | 11

#6450214 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:00

Take it as a compliment, clearly she got jealous of you and thought you were looking at her boyfriend. And don't worry, you will find that someone special one day.

By feliciaheartu | 21

#6450215 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:03

That girl, needs a chill pill.

COMMENTS

By Bryce8 | 11

#6450214 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:00

Take it as a compliment, clearly she got jealous of you and thought you were looking at her boyfriend. And don't worry, you will find that someone special one day.

Reply

LilMissCanadian | 22

#6450243 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:34

She should also be thankful she isn't as crazy as the girl. She needs to chill.

By feliciaheartu | 21

#6450215 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:03

That girl, needs a chill pill.

Reply

okokalright | 15

#6450838 - Monday 2 November 2015 3:49

But honestly f her boyfriends life. If she's that insecure, I can't imagine what other things she may have done.

By MrBlackledge | 12

#6450216 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:03

Did you at least try to grab her boyfriend afterwards?

By money2g | 7

#6450217 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:04

You should've told her, bitch get up off these N-U-T'S cuz he gets none of these. That would probably send the message real clear.

By KhalidJarrar | 7

#6450218 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:05

I am happy how everyone is nice to OP and nobody gave her a YDI :-)
FML community is such a warm and kind place to be :-)

Reply

Jashie | 18

#6450658 - Sunday 1 November 2015 23:03

Why would it even be her fault in the first place. It doesn't even make sense

By sweetbliss3 | 37

#6450219 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:06

insecure much? that girl needs to get it together.

By sallycinnamon | 21

#6450221 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:10

Butter luck next time

By Debauchery7 | 17

#6450226 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:14

You should have demonstratively opened the butter and rubbed it all over yourself, to make it clear you wanted the butter.
Fhl for having such a jealous girlfriend, but you will find an amazing guy so don't worry ;)

By starletpeachz | 12

#6450227 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:16

that girl is obviously insecure and apparently not smart enough to realize she was infront of the butter -.- why be in a grocery store? hello, stealing your man wasn't on my list dumbass, it was butter

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6450564 - Sunday 1 November 2015 20:57

Op shows the girl the list, "yes clearly I have written down 'steal random girls boyfriend' on my list for today."

Reply

Ladisa | 28

#6450737 - Monday 2 November 2015 1:10

#10, cue random girl's answer, "I can't believe it's not butter"

By itwasntme14 | 19

#6450230 - Sunday 1 November 2015 13:17

Seems like it could be an FML for the girlfriend as well she clearly has some jealousy or trust issues. You're better off being alone than in her shoes OP!