Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my...

By jokada - 10/5/2009 20:39 - United States

Today, while powerwashing my deck, a bee flew and landed on my leg. Thinking I'd just wash it away before it stings me, I aimed the powerwasher nozzle at the bee. A bee sting isn't nearly as painful as powerwashing your leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13374

You deserved it

84043

Favorite

Work

Race against the clock

Overbearing much?

Not a cheating!

By Anonymous - 29/6/2013 14:57 - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27586

You deserved it

39715

Favorite

By Liz - 9/1/2009 08:54 - France

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

I agree, your life sucks

27093

You deserved it

7555

Favorite

By piliseep - 7/6/2017 16:00

Today, I realized that I accidentally said my phone number wrong when I was giving it to a really smart, cute guy with all the same interests as me that I met at a bar last night. I'd had a few drinks and had gotten the middle three digits mixed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3947

You deserved it

1577

Favorite

By zoearcu - 17/4/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30799

You deserved it

3508

Favorite

By Baskets-Tailleur - 7/7/2014 06:58 - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48395

You deserved it

4867

Favorite

By Username - 3/8/2011 03:33 - United States

Today, I quit smoking. It seems that when you don't smoke for almost 24 hours, your sense of smell comes back. I then noticed how disgusting my apartment smells. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13767

You deserved it

51815

Favorite

By hopeless - 8/4/2011 15:03

Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47452

You deserved it

3970

Favorite

By sniper foxeh - 29/7/2018 01:30

Today, my younger sister and I were camping when, during the middle of the night, she asked me if I could take her to the toilets as she was scared. I told her to go by herself or go behind the tent. Thirty seconds later, she peed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1777

You deserved it

4304

Favorite

By abjoro - 25/5/2017 16:00

Today, I found out that the cute guy who sits in front of me in class and who keeps looking at me over his right shoulder is not interested in me as I had been led to believe. He has mild Tourrette's and his tick happens to be scratching his chin over his right shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3997

You deserved it

423

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/5/2019 00:30

Today, I walked in on my little brother dressing up like Billie Eilish, his new favorite singer. He tore up some of my favorite clothes to make the outfits. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1787

You deserved it

128

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 05:01

Near the knuckle

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

741

You deserved it

Favorite

By CrappyLuck - 4/8/2011 02:43 - United States

Today, I took my 8 month-old to the Urgent Care due to extreme constipation. I spent $25 for my son to poop on me the second the doctor had me remove his diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29723

You deserved it

4229

Favorite

By Nicole557 - 3/11/2011 10:56 - United States

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29433

You deserved it

10432

Favorite

By calling_while_driving - 28/3/2011 07:37 - United States

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32158

You deserved it

4128

Favorite

By R_U_CEREAL - 4/7/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68884

You deserved it

13620

Favorite

By eyesightfail - 21/11/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28392

You deserved it

15447

Favorite

By Ihadnoidea - 12/12/2015 19:41 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, while working at a gas station, I accidentally changed the price of gas to 8.9 cents per litre. It took me fifteen minutes to figure out why everyone wanted only two or three dollars of gas. I fixed it, but now my managers are debating charging me for lost revenue. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21282

You deserved it

7024

Favorite

By simple living - 29/4/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30783

You deserved it

2657

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/1/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, while at training with several of my co-workers, I realized I was the only woman. The only thing one of them said to me the entire day was "DUDE!" while staring at my chest as I took my coat off in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27052

You deserved it

3748

Favorite

By Zanovitch - 13/8/2013 20:19 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my mom asked me, once again, if my girlfriend of almost a year is just a cover up for being gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47945

You deserved it

4251

Favorite

By Tabby - 6/8/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28470

You deserved it

3828

Favorite

By Awkward - 22/8/2013 23:50 - United States

Today, while training a new employee, I had to run after a naked guy chasing a hooker at the hotel I work at. I made him go back to his room, while she offered me a good time for 300 bucks. The trainee left and hasn't come back yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43529

You deserved it

3133

Favorite

By LesboLover - 26/6/2019 02:30

Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1796

You deserved it

241

Favorite

By pchemist - 22/2/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks

89185

You deserved it

6950

Favorite

By bathroomgirl - 11/8/2011 16:09 - United States

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15024

You deserved it

37053

Favorite

By neelloc83 - 2/3/2009 14:22 - United States

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11048

You deserved it

67902

Favorite

By job hunter - 18/5/2017 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I interviewed for my dream job. Everything was going great until the interviewer asked, "So, what's your least favorite race?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

4441

You deserved it

309

Favorite

By Oxnar60 - 8/8/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13094

You deserved it

1946

Favorite

By itswhateverr - 3/5/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

63645

You deserved it

4425

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/8/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. My mom forgot and my best friend is out of town. The highlight of my day? The guy at McDonalds slipped an extra apple pie in my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41739

You deserved it

3153

Favorite

By disappointed - 23/7/2012 01:05

Today, I got to live my life's dream of going whale watching. Apparently my true life's dream was to get extremely seasick, sunburned to a crisp, and pay $60 to see only seagulls in the end. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23194

You deserved it

4186

Favorite

By UnpaidBabysitter - 7/8/2019 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a 10-year-old who kept shouting, a belligerent 7-year-old, two 5-year-olds who thought hitting me was funny and two 2-year-olds, who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1565

You deserved it

174

Favorite

By ImNotFat - 18/2/2015 04:22 - New Zealand

Today, a photo of my friends and me was posted in our college group. I didn't notice my legs looked enormous until my friend pointed it out. Her comment got 50 likes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31820

You deserved it

3260

Favorite

By JJAnd - 28/8/2011 06:37 - United States

Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11226

You deserved it

47914

Favorite

By soontobemurder - 3/5/2017 18:00

Today, my boss took back my week off because he wants to take a spontaneous Caribbean vacation with his wife, which is "clearly more important" than what I was going to do. I needed that time off so I could be with my Dad in hospice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6631

You deserved it

240

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/8/2020 23:01

Sounds reasonable

Today, my husband refuses to have sex with me, ever since I told him I wanted to try for a baby. When I asked him why, he said it was because he likes lack of responsibility and money in the bank more than the thought of a screaming baby, no sleep and strong suicidal urges. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1069

You deserved it

1573

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/10/2018 03:00

Today, my husband misheard me when I said I wanted a massage with sensual oils. He used essential oils instead. Essential oils are not meant to be used on the skin, trust me. My skin looks like a cross between sandpaper and pus-filled bubble wrap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3388

You deserved it

343

Favorite

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there awhile. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for "help". FML

I agree, your life sucks

30778

You deserved it

4511

Favorite

By masterfail - 4/10/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I woke up after a heavy night of drinking, with my laptop dead on my chest. Apparently, I had attempted a bit of digital penile oscillation, but passed out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6439

You deserved it

19673

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/1/2018 15:00

BURN

Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, “Don’t worry sweetie. It will get better!” to which I responded, “What will get better?” She smiled at me and said, “Your face.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

4600

You deserved it

346

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Eresbel | 0

#187087 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:27

Yeah... that was pretty much YDI.

By boomBOOMshake | 0

#187111 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:30

Wow. That is a YDI, but I would have done the same thing.

COMMENTS

By Eresbel | 0

#187087 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:27

Yeah... that was pretty much YDI.

spez86 | 0

#850094 - Saturday 13 February 2010 1:16

stupid bitch ! look what it does to concrete driveways haha hope you learned actully do it again

lovelydefiance89 | 0

#966356 - Monday 22 March 2010 18:15

Wow, to someone that has all the smart comments, grammar and spelling seem to elude you.

IscoreOnU | 19

#5323390 - Monday 14 January 2013 14:39

Red: Dumbass!

By Satoyuki | 0

#187091 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:27

Very smart.

By cbeaith | 0

#187092 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:27

what's with all the FMLs about both bees and fatties eating disgusting things lately?

By thefuckingmaggot | 0

#187097 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:28

I've done that before, on my foot, hurts like hell.

spez86 | 0

#850098 - Saturday 13 February 2010 1:18

BTW it's pressure washing

Metzler31 | 17

#1112251 - Tuesday 20 July 2010 5:50

Shut up no it isn't. I own one and it's called a power washer.

And my dad's friend tried to powerwash his foot; tore the skin right off of it.

iluffmcrandbvb | 1

#2188925 - Wednesday 16 March 2011 12:14

EAGLEEEES FANNNNN!!!!!! yayyy

darebear331 | 4

#2910818 - Sunday 17 July 2011 4:47

same here i have a big scar because it was a powerful machine

jayqwe2 | 0

#4338567 - Sunday 22 April 2012 9:57

you are supposed to at least point it at an angle where the water stream isn't coming at full force inflicting pain on your leg, but i haven't tried before so i could be wrong

desoto96 | 9

#4957265 - Friday 21 September 2012 22:10

You guys are both retarded. Both names are often used for it. Just like theres more then one name for a pizza. East siders call it a pie.

chewebb | 8

#6235536 - Wednesday 18 March 2015 2:02

You're an idiot.

By lycania | 0

#187099 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:28

Haha dumbass. bees wont sting you unless you aggravate them. move out the way next time

emily4040 | 18

#5980263 - Thursday 19 June 2014 4:24

Move out of the way of what? The bee was on his leg...

By ellis_fml | 0

#187102 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:29

You're an idiot.

By boomBOOMshake | 0

#187111 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:30

Wow. That is a YDI, but I would have done the same thing.

By too_much_fun | 0

#187114 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:30

Actually bee stings hurt like mad and still smart a while after it happens, so powerwashing it off was a safe bet i'd say.

pozmc | 0

#970209 - Sunday 28 March 2010 23:26

actually I know someone who accidently ran a powerwasher across their toes and it cut her skin down to the bone

By lolwhat_fml | 0

#187117 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:31

What does 'powerwashing' mean ?!

thirdbase1733 | 0

#977613 - Sunday 11 April 2010 5:45

retard. google it you four year old

Guido25897 | 4

#3274611 - Monday 12 September 2011 0:31

It's a really powerful water hose.

Soparot | 29

#6476678 - Thursday 3 December 2015 20:24

Pretty sure this was sarcasm

By WIDRR | 0

#187118 - Monday 11 May 2009 2:31

#3 there is no food in this FML you moron. OP yeah that musta hurt, although i can understand how you just thought for a split second, oh ill just spray it away..