Work: Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 62

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 32

09/03/2012 06:48

Today, while on trial for a desperately needed new job, I tripped crossing a road with my would-be manager. I twisted my ankle, and he had to carry me across the road and call a taxi for me to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 132

You deserved it 2 844

Another great day to be alive

That's gross, dude

Old lady hotline

12/04/2014 06:22

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 221

You deserved it 4 516

27/02/2010 03:01

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 201

You deserved it 23 530

29/09/2013 21:12

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 649

You deserved it 4 932

16/08/2010 05:14

Spicy

Today, for my mom's birthday, we went camping. At night, my mom and her boyfriend decided to have "Birthday Sex" because they thought everyone was asleep. Trying to not make it awkward for me and my friend that I brought along, I kept still. Soon, I heard my friend going to town on herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 454

You deserved it 5 036

15/06/2011 01:17

Spicy

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 243

You deserved it 15 678

30/03/2013 04:06

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 744

You deserved it 3 053

12/01/2015 14:36

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 335

You deserved it 2 958

22/10/2012 16:09

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 554

You deserved it 7 243

26/06/2009 19:48

Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 6 925

29/04/2016 09:17

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 022

You deserved it 1 804

30/07/2009 05:46

Spicy

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 891

You deserved it 50 233

Brain worms

By JaneSimple - 16/08/2020 14:02

Today, my fiancé forgot my birthday. I did however remember to tell him we were sending his mother flowers, for her birthday, which falls a week after mine. We've been together 10 years. I sent her flowers on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 195

12/04/2018 01:30

Today, I dropped my car off at the dealership for a bumper replacement due to a hit and run in a parking lot. After being told it was ready, their shuttle picked me up, and backed up into my just-replaced bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 491

You deserved it 214

21/10/2013 21:22

Spicy

Today, the kid next to me asked me, in all seriousness, if gay people have feelings like regular people. I'm gay, and I have to sit next to this barnacle until June. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 945

You deserved it 9 330

22/07/2012 13:57

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 296

You deserved it 2 496

23/08/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I found out the hard way, that yes, a condom can break. Also, that sometimes when it does, your boyfriend won't say anything until you start having morning sickness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 471

You deserved it 352

24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 216

14/02/2011 21:34

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 518

You deserved it 4 458

Stuck

By lilou - 03/01/2009 01:22

Today, at 7 a.m., I ended up outside in a nightdress, barefoot and in the rain. I've just found out that my two-year-old son now knows how to close the patio door, which of course, has no outside door handle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 673

You deserved it 3 876

05/12/2012 01:06

Today, I ran into my high school crush at Target. When I asked her if she remembered me, she patted me on the head, said, "Unfortunately," and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 778

You deserved it 2 794

Wankers of the world unite!

By ari - 19/03/2012 05:49

Spicy

Today, I found out why teenage boys have "Keep out" and "Please knock" signs on their bedroom doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 820

You deserved it 53 094

09/10/2017 13:00

Today, I was walking to the bus for my first day at my new school. I tripped in the darkness and split my chin open and broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 270

You deserved it 257

18/10/2010 15:52

Today, I was woken by the news that my car had been found, but was completely destroyed due to a fire. I didn't even know my car was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 116

You deserved it 2 907

13/02/2010 07:22

Today, I switched cell phone carriers and got the plan where you can call or text any five people for free. The employee asked for my five, I could only come up with one, my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 996

You deserved it 5 057

15/12/2018 17:30

Today. I had my first final exam. That would be fine if I hadn’t gotten sick 4 days ago. No one can go get my antibiotics, I feel like I’m dying and I can’t miss these exams under any circumstance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 174

03/12/2014 01:14

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 090

You deserved it 7 122

05/06/2012 07:27

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 110

You deserved it 3 035

02/11/2009 18:06

Spicy

Today, I found out that my fifty-five year old uncle had taken my phone and texted my girlfriend saying "I'm his uncle, send tit pics." She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 441

You deserved it 2 981

17/05/2009 19:49

Today, I was showing my new iPhone case to my friends, saying how it was scratchproof, shockproof, and waterproof. I demonstrated it by dropping it on the sidewalk from about 5 feet. It bounced onto the road. Apparently, its not truck-proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 329

You deserved it 104 926

09/02/2011 05:19

Spicy

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 060

You deserved it 6 416

23/03/2009 20:38

Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125 670

You deserved it 16 836

14/10/2018 14:00

Today, the coworker I have a crush on left halfway through the busiest shift of the week, and now I have to work it alone. I eventually found out that she left to go on a date with her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 362

10/09/2014 22:40

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 449

You deserved it 3 613

10/07/2017 04:30

Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 658

You deserved it 368

20/07/2009 19:10

Today, I received a medical bill because my daughter thought it would be hilarious to try and fit her fist in her mouth. She succeeded in getting it in, but not in getting it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 579

You deserved it 3 739

20/02/2009 05:30

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 675

You deserved it 2 428

Seize the means of production

By Anonymous - 21/07/2020 20:02

Today, my job has a policy where you can only have two breaks if you work 7 hours or more. I've recently been assigned multiple strings of 6 hour 45 minute shifts. And no, I can't work 15 minutes of overtime so I can have the extra break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 169

13/06/2013 15:13

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 285

You deserved it 13 655

15/07/2009 22:23

Today, I was cleaning my old neighbor's bathroom, because he asked me to and I didn't want to be rude. Plus, I was getting paid. He told me to "get the floor pearly white." So I scrubbed, and scrubbed, and scrubbed. Turns out the floor tiles are naturally a dull yellowish. I didn't get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 628

You deserved it 5 791

22/05/2013 12:28

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 826

You deserved it 3 187

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:35

Sounds like a bonding moment! Connection made.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 13:04

But because it was a girl, it holds an almost romantic value which works in favor of OP

Comments

Buttsexpirate 9

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:35

Sounds like a bonding moment! Connection made.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:43

Epic war movie-style.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:53

If op was a guy this would be much funnier.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 13:04

But because it was a girl, it holds an almost romantic value which works in favor of OP

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 15:35

Leave the sky high heals next time... But hey, at least your ass looked great. Right?

Send a private message

Sunday 11 March 2012 4:11

Yeah, exactly. You stood out OP, that's everything in this job market. He will remember you over the others and it might give you an edge. But that's not to say people should do stupid stuff to get a job...

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:35

Did you get it ?

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:36

What not to do at interview..? :) sorry.. Hope you are okay

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:41

Accidents happen op. I hope they're understanding and give you the job.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:41

Well hopefully he will feel bad for you, inspiring him to give you the job. But if not, try to be a little more careful.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:45

ouch

DeathbatAttack 17

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 12:55

Now you can go on the health and sickness benefit, and you won't need that job.

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 13:02

Oh my gosh im sorry :/ there will be other jobs hang in there

williamcarter93 13

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 13:04

Hope you're ok. If the boss chose not to hire her just on the basis she fell down...that would make him an ass.

iggz 0

Send a private message

Friday 9 March 2012 13:24

Hmmm I'm going to have to try that next time. Depending on genders it might be a little awkward.