Work: Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught... - FML

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Guildford

Today, while on the train heading to my new job, my coat caught between two seats. I didn't notice until my stop. I whacked myself in the face in front of everyone trying to get it free, and ended up missing my stop. When I finally got to work, I was told not to bother coming in again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34272

You deserved it

2774

Tweet

Share

Dangling modifier

NRA fanboy

Welcome back!

By Anonymous - 10/8/2020 05:02

And probably giggling

Today, I realized our cat has a sixth sense for when he wants to be seen. When we don't care where the cat is, he's within plain sight. When we lose track of him and are in a panic worrying if he got out, he's hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

963

You deserved it

300

Tweet

Share

By Rubyscooby212 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35252

You deserved it

3694

Tweet

Share

By apple - Netherlands

Today, it's my 18th birthday. I was telling my friends a story when my mom started talking. I simply said 'Mom...' so she'd realize she interrupted me. She gave me the finger and called me rude in front of all my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36547

You deserved it

6244

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, I was sick, and my voice was really low and raspy. A cute guy smiled at me and said hi, so I said hi too. He looked shocked and said, "Sorry bro, thought you were a girl." I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31431

You deserved it

2269

Tweet

Share

By DC - United States - Sioux City

Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14777

You deserved it

1512

Tweet

Share

By catsonuincorns - United States - Clovis

Today, I was in a car accident with my dad. A wheel slammed into my door, dislocating my arm and breaking it in three places. Later on, the people who hit us came over and gave my little sister a gift basket. She wasn't even in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4412

You deserved it

225

Tweet

Share

By EMT_Koulianos - United States

Today, I was performing CPR on a woman on her floor while her internal defibrillator kept firing, making her whole body jump. When it fired, her hand went straight up into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55017

You deserved it

4073

Tweet

Share

By hisgirl4life - United States

Today, I laughed so hard my milk went out my nose in front of the boy I liked. Then, since I was laughing so hard about that, I accidentally farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39094

You deserved it

8647

Tweet

Share

By

Today, I realized how exhausted I was when I mixed up my eye makeup remover with toner. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1574

You deserved it

349

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Harrison

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34156

You deserved it

2357

Tweet

Share

By arther

Today, I got up at 3:15 a.m. to be ready for work at 5 a.m. I get to my work station to find absolutely no work to do. After talking with my boss, I was sent home with no pay. If I'd been employed there 3 weeks longer, I would've been paid for 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1663

You deserved it

136

Tweet

Share

By Stairway2Heaven - Canada

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of no where and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

69059

You deserved it

19327

Tweet

Share

By sigh... - United States

Today, after several hours of trying to get my triplet daughters to go to bed, they finally fell asleep. Exhausted, I went to the bathroom so I could go to bed. Not thinking about it, I dropped the toilet seat down rather loudly and flushed the toilet. All three girls woke up crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34525

You deserved it

27444

Tweet

Share

By ahhnotoy - United States

Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53054

You deserved it

14542

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fairfax

Today, as I was walking home from work, I became the victim of a drive-by peanutting. Yes, apparently I'm only worth a bag of nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22616

You deserved it

2625

Tweet

Share

By feelgood - United States

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44462

You deserved it

6735

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25283

You deserved it

12640

Tweet

Share

By grrrr - United States

Today, my son learned about various animals in school, and how they urinate to mark their territory. Apparently, the entire second floor of my house is now my son's territory. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34329

You deserved it

2859

Tweet

Share

By fuck YOLO - United States - Ramona

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47242

You deserved it

3905

Tweet

Share

By really - Canada - Calgary

Today, my teacher "busted" me for writing down answers on my arm for a test. The so called "answers" was just a duck my little nephew had drawn on my hand the night before. She's actually trying to get me suspended over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39633

You deserved it

2563

Tweet

Share

By Craig - Canada

Today, I went to my hair dresser to get my haircut. When she asked me what I wanted, I told her "the usual". She confused me with another customer and gave me a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15417

You deserved it

32902

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3864

You deserved it

442

Tweet

Share

By can’t sleep - 17/6/2020 17:04

Get it on, bang a gong

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1738

You deserved it

292

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I nervously introduced my mother to my new boyfriend. I had to sit and watch her flirt with him for an hour. When I took her in the other room and confronted her about it, she said, "Don't you dare ruin this for me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

46552

You deserved it

3374

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, on Dr. Phil…

Today, I realized that masturbating to pictures of my girlfriend is better than having sex with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1744

You deserved it

428

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29758

You deserved it

22108

Tweet

Share

By fire - United States

Today, I interviewed for a full scholarship to college. In the interview I said that I was excited about the new dean because I think she’ll be able to really make improvements and bring the school back to where it used to be. After the interview, I learned my interviewer was the former dean. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58335

You deserved it

22646

Tweet

Share

By smells like ass

Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4951

You deserved it

399

Tweet

Share

By DosSantos

Today, I returned from a trip to Budapest with more condoms than I had brought with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3371

You deserved it

888

Tweet

Share

By hypebeast - United States

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9026

You deserved it

32115

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/4/2020 20:00

It's mine now

Today, my best friend's boyfriend stole her car, so now she wants my car, the one that I just bought from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1517

You deserved it

119

Tweet

Share

By Dat Stanky Mouf - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34167

You deserved it

3585

Tweet

Share

By denting-and-venting - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found a parking spot in front of my work. I parked and another car pulled into the spot just in front of me. The next thing I know, the car in front backs up and slams into my car. Turns out she didn't notice the fire hydrant next to her spot and screamed at me cause I, "stole her spot." FML

I agree, your life sucks

14501

You deserved it

1086

Tweet

Share

By pantyripper - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34255

You deserved it

21572

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia - Elwood

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43444

You deserved it

3349

Tweet

Share

By anonymous

Today, my dad's face flushed when I introduced him to my new boyfriend. I live in a small town, and it turns out my dad recognized him. He's the secret child from an affair two decades ago. He's my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7003

You deserved it

305

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I began writing thank-you cards for the gifts I got for my 21st birthday. To one set of grandparents, I wrote, "Thank you for the dancing chicken toy," and to the others I wrote, "Thank you for the $10 check." Those were the only gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1689

You deserved it

233

Tweet

Share

By RoseRodent - United Kingdom - London

Today, I dropped my daughter off at a concert where she was performing and went to look for parking. I got caught in freak traffic and it took me an hour to get back there. I missed her act. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14622

You deserved it

1506

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Middleboro

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by handing me a ring and saying "Let's get this dumb shit over and done with." FML

I agree, your life sucks

15935

You deserved it

1861

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, someone took my flatscreen TV at my garage sale because some kid snuck a "free" label onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47266

You deserved it

6210

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By vikky538 | 28

#6218253 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:32

sorry to hear that OP.... hope you can find another one.

By acommonman | 23

#6218271 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:37

Find another job. Everything happens for the best, ultimately.

COMMENTS

By vikky538 | 28

#6218253 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:32

sorry to hear that OP.... hope you can find another one.

Reply

xChaos | 29

#6218350 - Sunday 1 March 2015 23:20

Yeah, we hope you get back on track with your schedule.

Reply

octinate | 17

#6219133 - Monday 2 March 2015 17:08

Next time: leave the coat!!!!!!!!

By Steve95401 | 49

#6218254 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:32

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

GreyTulip8763 | 13

#6218287 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:47

.

By hufflepuffle | 13

#6218255 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:32

It's ok OP. Whenever my coat gets caught on a seat as I go to get up, I always contemplate leaving it there rather than look like a fool in front of everyone.

Reply

feven | 32

#6218334 - Sunday 1 March 2015 22:54

How often do you buy a new coat?

Reply

gobiteme2 | 34

#6218590 - Monday 2 March 2015 4:22

Doesn’t have too. He / She never leaves the house anyway.

By mazbry | 9

#6218256 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:33

Very sorry to hear that. I hope that re explaining to your boss on a better day will help change his mind. Or is there possibly another boss to speak to?

Reply

russfml | 31

#6218321 - Sunday 1 March 2015 22:38

First day being late you're pretty much guaranteed being fired

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6218524 - Monday 2 March 2015 2:34

I feel bad for op though, the boss should be understanding that it wasn't op's fault. It would be different if it was something op could control but it wasn't.

By xluciferx666 | 21

#6218257 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:33

Wow that's just bad luck but maybe try explaining to the what happened and that your not usually. Then ask for a second chance but whatever happens good luck

Reply

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#6218266 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:35

her not usually.... what?

Reply

Brandi_Faith | 33

#6218526 - Monday 2 March 2015 2:37

8, not usually late (I assume)

Reply

Vegetarian27 | 24

#6218885 - Monday 2 March 2015 12:05

It should be "you're"

By laurenswims13 | 24

#6218259 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:33

Just sounds like a lot of bad events, occurring one after the other like a domino reaction. Good luck OP

By aguynamednick | 20

#6218265 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:35

well they sound like jerks anyway

By Dick_diamond | 22

#6218269 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:36

Life's a bitch, and then you whack yourself in the face and lose your job. FYL.

By acommonman | 23

#6218271 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:37

Find another job. Everything happens for the best, ultimately.

By GreyTulip8763 | 13

#6218289 - Sunday 1 March 2015 21:48

There no point trying to sugar COAT the bad news but ...

Reply

Supersonic54 | 18

#6218667 - Monday 2 March 2015 5:34

There's a chance your comment would've been funnier without such heavy emphasis on an obvious joke, #12.