well thats a good alternate:)

lmao.. would u like some sperm in your coffee sir?

actually I think sperm adds flavor

hmmm thats odd the german guy at my coffee place thinks samen means cream and puts that in my coffee. i wonder why he laughs everytime i take a sip....

yea... I wonder

ya I'd like a medium coffee, hold the sperm

oh for sure! that would be fun!! =D

i'd rather tell them to leave out the sperm instead of holding it while they make my coffee, but that's me

likewise

52-I love your dawg!

thanx dawg

my moms from Germany....samen means seeds.....not sperm..

Salem does mean seed, but it is often used in the context of "one's seed" as in sperm...also...even if you thought it meant like seeds of a plant, why would that make it better? do you take seeds in your coffee?

I don't enjoy this IndiRae person.

sperma means sperm, but samen is the german pendant to semen. i'm from austria, i know it ;)

ah btw: samen also means seeds^^

17- that's messed up!!

166: But so true (;

Would you like that salty or sweet?

it would be sweet If the guy eats pineapple

Pshh i might not be a zombie but im a hell of a Dragon! AND A FUCKING NINJA

Roomate: Would you like some cream in your coffee? I made it by hand.

222 ftw

well then I spread my seeds well lol

I'd say salty, but ehh, who doesn't like a little salt in their coffee?

it's good to see this one translated in English. These comments on here are so much funnier than those on VDM...(I understand them more in my native language... and we seem to have dirtier minds...)

234- I guess it's lost in translation. It loses value as with all things.

144- seeded coffee is the best ;)

If i plant my seed in the ground, will it make a baby tree?

don't ruin an fml:0 you're not the one drinking semen.

This made me laugh @141 it can mean sperm also

im salty

XD

well yeah but sperm is basically the human seed, if ya see what I'm saying. and op, even I know sahne is cream and I never studied German.

Yaa

Das ist nein gut, du willst sahne en koffee. Nein samen

What?

jess. how long have you been a zombie?

lol! oh only like 4 months... =)

oh ok. I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious

oh cool! I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious. maybe we could go on a killing spree together :D

damn double posts..

oh for sure! sounds fun!!! =D

alright cool. i have like 8 dead bodies on my freezer right now if u want an arm or two

sweet! I jus might take you up on that offer, thanx

np. so how exactly did you die?

gtfo you losers you are why ths websites sucks so bad. go have you bullshit convo somwhere else douchebags.

wow rude much? were havin a convo on a comment so u don't even have to look at it. get over urself asshole!!

Mad troll is mad? You're terrible at it anyways, maybe you should stop.

I looked into her soul with my face and she saw obliion, so she became a zombie instead.

luv the zombie face, i just so happen to be a unicorn

Oblivion* Fuck my phone.

ha ya that's exactly what happened. haha thank u! that's the result of me havin no life. n nice! but u look like a kitty =P

"Hell's Janitor"

on a random note, zombie sex is fucking fantastic.

I'm looking to sell some of master Chuck's leftover corpses...we may be able to help each other.

"Open Season"

180. I heard these are very good quality and am willing to make a deal. meet me in limbo by where they torture babies

176 knows what's up!!

why hello there 186 i noticed that u are a zombie. i like zombies.

hello ;)

me too flock, you can join us in our brutal manslaughter and cannabalistic feast if you wish

nope just in it for the sex that's all i want.

alright. well I'm into zombies but I'm not gay, so I shall leave you two to that business. i heard doing it in a coffin undergound is hot.. that or ripping off and reattaching limbs during intercourse. and zombies do not have periods which is convenient

downfall to zombie sex=losing body parts =X

there is nothing like being slapped by a detached arm in the middle of sex. it really.... just brings a feeling nothing else can.

lmao!

of course it would have to be a random arm cuz then the sex would be awkward if it was one of our arms. like two beached horny whales.

agreed haha

I love both the kitty face and the zombie face!

hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the soft tissues goes first... of which both your *ahem* and *cough* are a part of (penis and vagina, for those who have already had brain leakage)

i mean they don't call me the undead lady pleaser for nothing. that title is earned. and trust me when i say i have earned it.

next time you get a coffee, they should be like "with or without the sperm?"

I would prefer the cream

Gotta have your daily protein

not an FML.

maybe you'll lose some weight?

That's cold

was that comment necessary?

98 your a douchebag

anyone smell smoke cuz in think someone just goT BURNED

98 is quite the fucking asshole. A word of advice, if you have to point out other people's flaws, it only makes you seem the insecure fuckstick you really are. Besides, she isn't fat. Good one! Maybe next time you'll make a better joke?

Dont worry hun, you are beautful the way you are and dont let some duche bag guy tell you otherwise.

Oh yeah, I accidentally ask for semen in my coffee all the time. "Accidentally"...

239- maybe OP is still learning German. -.-;.

As a native German, I can say it's not really common but still not that big of a deal.

reading your comment in a heavy, funny accent from ur pic made it sound alot more funnier :DD

orphinz. comment is very nice, but you have iPod mini, I has iPod regular, everyone knows mini is for girls

omg is ur pic the guy in borat! :D

what guy in borat. the only guy in borat is borat himself you flubchunt -.-

192- are your comments always this good or are you just having a moment?

229- they are always really good and funny & you just gutta admit that picture of the dog is just just swaggin(;

242- it's like a doggy pimp.

dogs are awesome

and thanks 242!

white girl saying its swaggin lmao

Their ferrret will claw them in the face like the previous FML testing how flexiblity of the ferret's spine.

Crap comment fail...That was meant for #8!

ferret? I don't think that's a thing normal people say....

I think Mr. Salty does.. ?

It was an old FML, about a kid getting caught beating his ferret.

haha lol that was funny

lol I remember reading that fml about the kid beating his ferret.

Very.

lol the old fml was him spanking his ferret

I REMEMBER THAT FML ! ahahha

Yeah it's was deffinetly SPANKING the ferret, I faved that FML

it's not common cause it's a British saying..:P

Mm maybe some sperm cakes wail youre at it?

sperm is full protein so it would be good for OP