FML : Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was...

308

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Hum / Saturday 2 July 2011 21:50 / Switzerland

Intimacy

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Top comments

By KingGeorgeGal | 12

#2809421 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:45

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

By saIty | 17

#2809440 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?

Comments

By myfruitloop | 0

#2809418 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:44

first

By KingGeorgeGal | 12

#2809421 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:45

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

Volcano47 | 0

#2809452 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

well thats a good alternate:)

derper71 | 3

#2809478 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:49

lmao.. would u like some sperm in your coffee sir?

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809499 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:50

actually I think sperm adds flavor

flockz | 19

#2809511 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:51

hmmm thats odd the german guy at my coffee place thinks samen means cream and puts that in my coffee. i wonder why he laughs everytime i take a sip....

shybear15 | 0

#2809545 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:54

yea... I wonder

bravesfan112233 | 0

#2809644 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:01

ya I'd like a medium coffee, hold the sperm

princessjes23 | 6

#2809656 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:03

oh for sure! that would be fun!! =D

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809708 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:09

i'd rather tell them to leave out the sperm instead of holding it while they make my coffee, but that's me

asdfghj771 | 0

#2809880 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:33

likewise

GunnarG9 | 0

#2809891 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:35

52-I love your dawg!

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809981 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:54

thanx dawg

gangssaboo | 0

#2810619 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:30

my moms from Germany....samen means seeds.....not sperm..

msl1333 | 4

#2810664 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:44

Salem does mean seed, but it is often used in the context of "one's seed" as in sperm...also...even if you thought it meant like seeds of a plant, why would that make it better? do you take seeds in your coffee?

ninjasaurous | 0

#2810711 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:54

I don't enjoy this IndiRae person.

die_coco | 0

#2810741 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:57

sperma means sperm, but samen is the german pendant to semen. i'm from austria, i know it ;)

die_coco | 0

#2810752 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:59

ah btw: samen also means seeds^^

UnderJonathan | 8

#2810961 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:50

17- that's messed up!!

KingGeorgeGal | 12

#2810982 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:52

166: But so true (;

adropofpeace | 8

#2811184 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:29

Would you like that salty or sweet?

dolphincheddar | 10

#2811230 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:39

it would be sweet If the guy eats pineapple

JuliaDragonNinja | 0

#2811545 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:57

Pshh i might not be a zombie but im a hell of a Dragon! AND A FUCKING NINJA

criminalmind | 10

#2811784 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:00

Roomate: Would you like some cream in your coffee? I made it by hand.

ILOLatmockdaweek | 0

#2811840 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:08

222 ftw

craziechiefsfan | 0

#2812153 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:38

well then I spread my seeds well lol

KingGeorgeGal | 12

#2812212 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:47

I'd say salty, but ehh, who doesn't like a little salt in their coffee?

Ali_Br_fml | 33

#2812275 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:56

it's good to see this one translated in English. These comments on here are so much funnier than those on VDM...(I understand them more in my native language... and we seem to have dirtier minds...)

IscoreOnU | 19

#2812501 - Sunday 3 July 2011 10:35

234- I guess it's lost in translation. It loses value as with all things.

maslover | 0

#2813091 - Sunday 3 July 2011 02:00

144- seeded coffee is the best ;)

thecoolestever1 | 0

#2813811 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:54

If i plant my seed in the ground, will it make a baby tree?

sexybeast6229 | 0

#2813830 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:58

don't ruin an fml:0 you're not the one drinking semen.

Nhk_fml | 4

#2818753 - Monday 4 July 2011 03:37

This made me laugh @141 it can mean sperm also

j_cat187 | 19

#2823154 - Tuesday 5 July 2011 08:57

im salty

006ruler | 0

#2845394 - Friday 8 July 2011 06:26

TheFection | 0

#2847302 - Friday 8 July 2011 12:30

well yeah but sperm is basically the human seed, if ya see what I'm saying. and op, even I know sahne is cream and I never studied German.

fishing12345 | 2

#3207273 - Tuesday 30 August 2011 10:47

Yaa

l23VIVE | 17

#4846684 - Wednesday 22 August 2012 05:29

Das ist nein gut, du willst sahne en koffee. Nein samen

telli164 | 30

#5889766 - Wednesday 19 March 2014 01:15

What?

By princessjes23 | 6

#2809426 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:45

haha! nice.

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809455 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:47

jess. how long have you been a zombie?

princessjes23 | 6

#2809580 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:56

lol! oh only like 4 months... =)

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809606 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:58

oh ok. I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809624 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:00

oh cool! I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious. maybe we could go on a killing spree together :D

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809647 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:02

damn double posts..

princessjes23 | 6

#2809693 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:07

oh for sure! sounds fun!!! =D

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809717 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:11

alright cool. i have like 8 dead bodies on my freezer right now if u want an arm or two

princessjes23 | 6

#2810063 - Sunday 3 July 2011 02:15

sweet! I jus might take you up on that offer, thanx

dolphincheddar | 10

#2810082 - Sunday 3 July 2011 02:18

np. so how exactly did you die?

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE | 0

#2810303 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:18

gtfo you losers you are why ths websites sucks so bad. go have you bullshit convo somwhere else douchebags.

princessjes23 | 6

#2810321 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:20

wow rude much? were havin a convo on a comment so u don't even have to look at it. get over urself asshole!!

Codezlol | 21

#2810329 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:23

Mad troll is mad? You're terrible at it anyways, maybe you should stop.

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#2810562 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:21

I looked into her soul with my face and she saw obliion, so she became a zombie instead.

XXscenekidXX209 | 0

#2810617 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:30

luv the zombie face, i just so happen to be a unicorn

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#2810667 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:45

Oblivion* Fuck my phone.

princessjes23 | 6

#2810672 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:46

ha ya that's exactly what happened. haha thank u! that's the result of me havin no life. n nice! but u look like a kitty =P

enoughgrace | 4

#2810984 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:52

"Hell's Janitor"

flockz | 19

#2811139 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:20

on a random note, zombie sex is fucking fantastic.

TheBitchOfChuckN | 7

#2811152 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:22

I'm looking to sell some of master Chuck's leftover corpses...we may be able to help each other.

Siji | 0

#2811225 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:38

"Open Season"

dolphincheddar | 10

#2811235 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:42

180. I heard these are very good quality and am willing to make a deal. meet me in limbo by where they torture babies

princessjes23 | 6

#2811255 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:47

176 knows what's up!!

flockz | 19

#2811296 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:58

why hello there 186 i noticed that u are a zombie. i like zombies.

princessjes23 | 6

#2811325 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:05

hello ;)

dolphincheddar | 10

#2811333 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:06

me too flock, you can join us in our brutal manslaughter and cannabalistic feast if you wish

flockz | 19

#2811345 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:08

nope just in it for the sex that's all i want.

dolphincheddar | 10

#2811369 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:12

alright. well I'm into zombies but I'm not gay, so I shall leave you two to that business. i heard doing it in a coffin undergound is hot.. that or ripping off and reattaching limbs during intercourse. and zombies do not have periods which is convenient

princessjes23 | 6

#2811383 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:14

downfall to zombie sex=losing body parts =X

flockz | 19

#2811390 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:16

there is nothing like being slapped by a detached arm in the middle of sex. it really.... just brings a feeling nothing else can.

princessjes23 | 6

#2811406 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:19

lmao!

flockz | 19

#2811411 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:21

of course it would have to be a random arm cuz then the sex would be awkward if it was one of our arms. like two beached horny whales.

princessjes23 | 6

#2811486 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:40

agreed haha

valalvax | 13

#2811517 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:49

I love both the kitty face and the zombie face!

valalvax | 13

#2811526 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:52

hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the soft tissues goes first... of which both your *ahem* and *cough* are a part of (penis and vagina, for those who have already had brain leakage)

flockz | 19

#2811532 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:53

i mean they don't call me the undead lady pleaser for nothing. that title is earned. and trust me when i say i have earned it.

By Elphieba | 4

#2809428 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:45

That would have been akward.

Garyy_fml | 11

#2810604 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:27

next time you get a coffee, they should be like "with or without the sperm?"

coolp3rson | 0

#2811499 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:43

I would prefer the cream

Jacobt24 | 19

#2813055 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:42

Gotta have your daily protein

atthegates | 0

#2819252 - Monday 4 July 2011 04:59

not an FML.

By YouMentalFreaks | 3

#2809430 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

That Sucks, Op. :/ Maybe they'll just forget about it..? it's probably a common mistake.

mlexi21 | 5

#2810251 - Sunday 3 July 2011 02:59

maybe you'll lose some weight?

NYCM | 6

#2810353 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:27

That's cold

cheekysausage | 0

#2810367 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:32

was that comment necessary?

LikeaPRESIDENT | 0

#2810413 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:44

98 your a douchebag

LikeaPRESIDENT | 0

#2810700 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:51

anyone smell smoke cuz in think someone just goT BURNED

Hockeyboy4280 | 18

#2810767 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:01

98 is quite the fucking asshole. A word of advice, if you have to point out other people's flaws, it only makes you seem the insecure fuckstick you really are. Besides, she isn't fat. Good one! Maybe next time you'll make a better joke?

athena3100 | 9

#2810786 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:07

Dont worry hun, you are beautful the way you are and dont let some duche bag guy tell you otherwise.

CateXOX | 0

#2812492 - Sunday 3 July 2011 10:33

Oh yeah, I accidentally ask for semen in my coffee all the time. "Accidentally"...

DuckfaceSoccerpu | 0

#2816403 - Monday 4 July 2011 02:33

239- maybe OP is still learning German. -.-;.

xNephilim | 18

#6024719 - Friday 1 August 2014 06:12

As a native German, I can say it's not really common but still not that big of a deal.

By orphinz | 3

#2809434 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

I must try that coffee with sperm

yummycupkake | 0

#2809754 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:14

reading your comment in a heavy, funny accent from ur pic made it sound alot more funnier :DD

dolphincheddar | 10

#2809833 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:25

orphinz. comment is very nice, but you have iPod mini, I has iPod regular, everyone knows mini is for girls

bbgisbeautifull | 1

#2810840 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:19

omg is ur pic the guy in borat! :D

dolphincheddar | 10

#2811342 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:08

what guy in borat. the only guy in borat is borat himself you flubchunt -.-

ILOLatmockdaweek | 0

#2811916 - Sunday 3 July 2011 09:15

192- are your comments always this good or are you just having a moment?

KingGeorgeGal | 12

#2812504 - Sunday 3 July 2011 10:35

229- they are always really good and funny & you just gutta admit that picture of the dog is just just swaggin(;

ILOLatmockdaweek | 0

#2813147 - Sunday 3 July 2011 02:27

242- it's like a doggy pimp.

dolphincheddar | 10

#2814142 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:52

dogs are awesome

dolphincheddar | 10

#2814280 - Sunday 3 July 2011 07:19

and thanks 242!

tzuriel11 | 9

#2821861 - Tuesday 5 July 2011 02:21

white girl saying its swaggin lmao

By canadian_ftw | 8

#2809438 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

At least you know now, so you won't make a fool of yourself again...

lol_ironic_life | 9

#2809470 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:48

Their ferrret will claw them in the face like the previous FML testing how flexiblity of the ferret's spine.

lol_ironic_life | 9

#2809505 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:50

Crap comment fail...That was meant for #8!

By saIty | 17

#2809440 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?

Lauren10102 | 3

#2809770 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:16

ferret? I don't think that's a thing normal people say....

josh5634 | 0

#2809852 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:28

I think Mr. Salty does.. ?

saIty | 17

#2809866 - Sunday 3 July 2011 01:30

It was an old FML, about a kid getting caught beating his ferret.

Fmls4life | 6

#2810297 - Sunday 3 July 2011 03:16

haha lol that was funny

iluvevil01 | 11

#2810871 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:28

lol I remember reading that fml about the kid beating his ferret.

TheBitchOfChuckN | 7

#2811165 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:24

Very.

Katiekhalifa_fml | 28

#2812712 - Sunday 3 July 2011 11:38

lol the old fml was him spanking his ferret

vfs_fml | 0

#2813797 - Sunday 3 July 2011 04:52

I REMEMBER THAT FML ! ahahha

EagorLuvsBigFoot | 8

#2822114 - Tuesday 5 July 2011 03:50

Yeah it's was deffinetly SPANKING the ferret, I faved that FML

soulfulemo | 0

#2827816 - Wednesday 6 July 2011 12:07

it's not common cause it's a British saying..:P

By AmazingLadyy13 | 0

#2809448 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

Delicious.

athena3100 | 9

#2810797 - Sunday 3 July 2011 05:09

Mm maybe some sperm cakes wail youre at it?

By lol_ironic_life | 9

#2809449 - Sunday 3 July 2011 12:46

So which one did you get in your coffee?! :D Sperm makes everything taste better!

Xx_Dakota_xX | 1

#2811074 - Sunday 3 July 2011 06:05

sperm is full protein so it would be good for OP

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