Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
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By
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!
By
saIty
| 17
How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?
COMMENTS
By
myfruitloop
| 0
first
By
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!
Reply
Volcano47
| 0
well thats a good alternate:)
Reply
derper71
| 3
lmao.. would u like some sperm in your coffee sir?
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
actually I think sperm adds flavor
Reply
flockz
| 19
hmmm thats odd the german guy at my coffee place thinks samen means cream and puts that in my coffee. i wonder why he laughs everytime i take a sip....
Reply
shybear15
| 0
yea... I wonder
Reply
bravesfan112233
| 0
ya I'd like a medium coffee, hold the sperm
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
oh for sure! that would be fun!! =D
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
i'd rather tell them to leave out the sperm instead of holding it while they make my coffee, but that's me
Reply
asdfghj771
| 0
likewise
Reply
GunnarG9
| 0
52-I love your dawg!
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
thanx dawg
Reply
gangssaboo
| 0
my moms from Germany....samen means seeds.....not sperm..
Reply
msl1333
| 4
Salem does mean seed, but it is often used in the context of "one's seed" as in sperm...also...even if you thought it meant like seeds of a plant, why would that make it better? do you take seeds in your coffee?
Reply
ninjasaurous
| 0
I don't enjoy this IndiRae person.
Reply
die_coco
| 0
sperma means sperm, but samen is the german pendant to semen. i'm from austria, i know it ;)
Reply
die_coco
| 0
ah btw: samen also means seeds^^
Reply
UnderJonathan
| 8
17- that's messed up!!
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
166: But so true (;
Reply
adropofpeace
| 8
Would you like that salty or sweet?
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
it would be sweet If the guy eats pineapple
Reply
JuliaDragonNinja
| 0
Pshh i might not be a zombie but im a hell of a Dragon! AND A FUCKING NINJA
Reply
criminalmind
| 10
Roomate: Would you like some cream in your coffee? I made it by hand.
Reply
ILOLatmockdaweek
| 0
222 ftw
Reply
craziechiefsfan
| 0
well then I spread my seeds well lol
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
I'd say salty, but ehh, who doesn't like a little salt in their coffee?
Reply
Ali_Br_fml
| 33
it's good to see this one translated in English. These comments on here are so much funnier than those on VDM...(I understand them more in my native language... and we seem to have dirtier minds...)
Reply
IscoreOnU
| 19
234- I guess it's lost in translation. It loses value as with all things.
Reply
maslover
| 0
144- seeded coffee is the best ;)
Reply
thecoolestever1
| 0
If i plant my seed in the ground, will it make a baby tree?
Reply
sexybeast6229
| 0
don't ruin an fml:0 you're not the one drinking semen.
Reply
Nhk_fml
| 4
This made me laugh
@141 it can mean sperm also
@141 it can mean sperm also
Reply
j_cat187
| 19
im salty
Reply
006ruler
| 0
XD
Reply
TheFection
| 0
well yeah but sperm is basically the human seed, if ya see what I'm saying. and op, even I know sahne is cream and I never studied German.
Reply
fishing12345
| 2
Yaa
Reply
l23VIVE
| 17
Das ist nein gut, du willst sahne en koffee. Nein samen
Reply
telli164
| 30
What?
By
princessjes23
| 6
haha! nice.
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
jess. how long have you been a zombie?
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
lol! oh only like 4 months... =)
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
oh ok. I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
oh cool! I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious. maybe we could go on a killing spree together :D
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
damn double posts..
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
oh for sure! sounds fun!!! =D
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
alright cool. i have like 8 dead bodies on
my freezer right now if u want an arm or two
my freezer right now if u want an arm or two
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
sweet! I jus might take you up on that offer, thanx
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
np. so how exactly did you die?
Reply
LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE
| 0
gtfo you losers you are why ths websites sucks so bad. go have you bullshit convo somwhere else douchebags.
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
wow rude much? were havin a convo on a comment so u don't even have to look at it. get over urself asshole!!
Reply
Codezlol
| 21
Mad troll is mad? You're terrible at it anyways, maybe you should stop.
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
I looked into her soul with my face and she saw obliion, so she became a zombie instead.
Reply
XXscenekidXX209
| 0
luv the zombie face, i just so happen to be a unicorn
Reply
CryMoreFMLs
| 14
Oblivion* Fuck my phone.
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
ha ya that's exactly what happened.
haha thank u! that's the result of me havin no life. n nice! but u look like a kitty =P
haha thank u! that's the result of me havin no life. n nice! but u look like a kitty =P
Reply
enoughgrace
| 4
"Hell's Janitor"
Reply
flockz
| 19
on a random note, zombie sex is fucking fantastic.
Reply
TheBitchOfChuckN
| 7
I'm looking to sell some of master Chuck's leftover corpses...we may be able to help each other.
Reply
Siji
| 0
"Open Season"
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
180. I heard these are very good quality and am willing to make a deal. meet me
in limbo by where they torture babies
in limbo by where they torture babies
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
176 knows what's up!!
Reply
flockz
| 19
why hello there 186 i noticed that u are a zombie.
i like zombies.
i like zombies.
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
hello ;)
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
me too flock, you can join us in our brutal
manslaughter and cannabalistic feast if you wish
manslaughter and cannabalistic feast if you wish
Reply
flockz
| 19
nope just in it for the sex that's all i want.
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
alright. well I'm into zombies but I'm
not gay, so I shall leave you two to that business. i heard doing it in a coffin undergound is hot.. that or ripping off and reattaching limbs during intercourse. and zombies do not have periods which is
convenient
not gay, so I shall leave you two to that business. i heard doing it in a coffin undergound is hot.. that or ripping off and reattaching limbs during intercourse. and zombies do not have periods which is
convenient
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
downfall to zombie sex=losing body parts =X
Reply
flockz
| 19
there is nothing like being slapped by a detached arm in the middle of sex. it really.... just brings a feeling nothing else can.
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
lmao!
Reply
flockz
| 19
of course it would have to be a random arm cuz then the sex would be awkward if it was one of our arms. like two beached horny whales.
Reply
princessjes23
| 6
agreed haha
Reply
valalvax
| 13
I love both the kitty face and the zombie face!
Reply
valalvax
| 13
hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the soft tissues goes first... of which both your *ahem* and *cough* are a part of
(penis and vagina, for those who have already had brain leakage)
(penis and vagina, for those who have already had brain leakage)
Reply
flockz
| 19
i mean they don't call me the undead lady pleaser for nothing. that title is earned. and trust me when i say i have earned it.
By
Elphieba
| 4
That would have been akward.
Reply
Garyy_fml
| 11
next time you get a coffee, they should be like "with or without the sperm?"
Reply
coolp3rson
| 0
I would prefer the cream
Reply
Jacobt24
| 19
Gotta have your daily protein
Reply
atthegates
| 0
not an FML.
By
YouMentalFreaks
| 3
That Sucks, Op. :/ Maybe they'll just forget about it..? it's probably a common mistake.
Reply
mlexi21
| 5
maybe you'll lose some weight?
Reply
NYCM
| 6
That's cold
Reply
cheekysausage
| 0
was that comment necessary?
Reply
LikeaPRESIDENT
| 0
98 your a douchebag
Reply
LikeaPRESIDENT
| 0
anyone smell smoke cuz in think someone just goT BURNED
Reply
Hockeyboy4280
| 18
98 is quite the fucking asshole. A word of advice, if you have to point out other people's flaws, it only makes you seem the insecure fuckstick you really are. Besides, she isn't fat. Good one!
Maybe next time you'll make a better joke?
Maybe next time you'll make a better joke?
Reply
athena3100
| 9
Dont worry hun, you are beautful the way you are and dont let some duche bag guy tell you otherwise.
Reply
CateXOX
| 0
Oh yeah, I accidentally ask for semen in my coffee all the time.
"Accidentally"...
"Accidentally"...
Reply
DuckfaceSoccerpu
| 0
239- maybe OP is still learning German. -.-;.
Reply
xNephilim
| 18
As a native German, I can say it's not really common but still not that big of a deal.
By
orphinz
| 3
I must try that coffee with sperm
Reply
yummycupkake
| 0
reading your comment in a heavy, funny accent from ur pic made it sound alot more funnier :DD
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
orphinz. comment is very nice, but you have iPod mini, I has iPod regular, everyone knows mini is for girls
Reply
bbgisbeautifull
| 1
omg is ur pic the guy in borat! :D
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
what guy in borat. the only guy in borat is borat himself you flubchunt -.-
Reply
ILOLatmockdaweek
| 0
192- are your comments always this good or are you just having a moment?
Reply
KingGeorgeGal
| 12
229- they are always really good and funny & you just gutta admit that picture of the dog is just just swaggin(;
Reply
ILOLatmockdaweek
| 0
242- it's like a doggy pimp.
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
dogs are awesome
Reply
dolphincheddar
| 10
and thanks 242!
Reply
tzuriel11
| 9
white girl saying its swaggin lmao
By
canadian_ftw
| 8
At least you know now, so you won't make a fool of yourself again...
Reply
lol_ironic_life
| 9
Their ferrret will claw them in the face like the previous FML testing how flexiblity of the ferret's spine.
Reply
lol_ironic_life
| 9
Crap comment fail...That was meant for #8!
By
saIty
| 17
How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?
Reply
Lauren10102
| 3
ferret? I don't think that's a thing normal people say....
Reply
josh5634
| 0
I think Mr. Salty does.. ?
Reply
saIty
| 17
It was an old FML, about a kid getting caught beating his ferret.
Reply
Fmls4life
| 6
haha lol that was funny
Reply
iluvevil01
| 11
lol I remember reading that fml about the kid beating his ferret.
Reply
TheBitchOfChuckN
| 7
Very.
Reply
Katiekhalifa_fml
| 28
lol the old fml was him spanking his ferret
Reply
vfs_fml
| 0
I REMEMBER THAT FML ! ahahha
Reply
EagorLuvsBigFoot
| 8
Yeah it's was deffinetly SPANKING the ferret, I faved that FML
Reply
soulfulemo
| 0
it's not common cause it's a British saying..:P
By
AmazingLadyy13
| 0
Delicious.
Reply
athena3100
| 9
Mm maybe some sperm cakes wail youre at it?
By
lol_ironic_life
| 9
So which one did you get in your coffee?! :D Sperm makes everything taste better!
Reply
Xx_Dakota_xX
| 1
sperm is full protein so it would be good for OP