By Hum - 02/07/2011 21:50 - Switzerland

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 735
You deserved it 12 036

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KingGeorgeGal 12

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

saIty 17

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?


KingGeorgeGal 12

Well, I hope they put 'sahne' and not 'samen' in your coffee!

Volcano47 0

well thats a good alternate:)

lmao.. would u like some sperm in your coffee sir?

actually I think sperm adds flavor

flockz 19

hmmm thats odd the german guy at my coffee place thinks samen means cream and puts that in my coffee. i wonder why he laughs everytime i take a sip....

shybear15 0

yea... I wonder

bravesfan112233 0

ya I'd like a medium coffee, hold the sperm

princessjes23 6

oh for sure! that would be fun!! =D

i'd rather tell them to leave out the sperm instead of holding it while they make my coffee, but that's me

i'd rather tell them to leave out the sperm instead of holding it while they make my coffee, but that's me

GunnarG9 0

52-I love your dawg!

gangssaboo 0

my moms from Germany....samen means seeds.....not sperm..

msl1333 4

Salem does mean seed, but it is often used in the context of "one's seed" as in sperm...also...even if you thought it meant like seeds of a plant, why would that make it better? do you take seeds in your coffee?

ninjasaurous 0

I don't enjoy this IndiRae person.

sperma means sperm, but samen is the german pendant to semen. i'm from austria, i know it ;)

ah btw: samen also means seeds^^

17- that's messed up!!

KingGeorgeGal 12

166: But so true (;

adropofpeace 8

Would you like that salty or sweet?

it would be sweet If the guy eats pineapple

JuliaDragonNinja 0

Pshh i might not be a zombie but im a hell of a Dragon! AND A FUCKING NINJA

Roomate: Would you like some cream in your coffee? I made it by hand.

well then I spread my seeds well lol

KingGeorgeGal 12

I'd say salty, but ehh, who doesn't like a little salt in their coffee?

Ali_Br_fml 33

it's good to see this one translated in English. These comments on here are so much funnier than those on VDM...(I understand them more in my native language... and we seem to have dirtier minds...)

234- I guess it's lost in translation. It loses value as with all things.

maslover 0

144- seeded coffee is the best ;)

If i plant my seed in the ground, will it make a baby tree?

sexybeast6229 0

don't ruin an fml:0 you're not the one drinking semen.

This made me laugh @141 it can mean sperm also

well yeah but sperm is basically the human seed, if ya see what I'm saying. and op, even I know sahne is cream and I never studied German.

Das ist nein gut, du willst sahne en koffee. Nein samen

princessjes23 6

haha! nice.

jess. how long have you been a zombie?

princessjes23 6

lol! oh only like 4 months... =)

oh ok. I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious

oh cool! I also enjoy human brains, they're very nutritious. maybe we could go on a killing spree together :D

princessjes23 6

oh for sure! sounds fun!!! =D

alright cool. i have like 8 dead bodies on my freezer right now if u want an arm or two

princessjes23 6

sweet! I jus might take you up on that offer, thanx

np. so how exactly did you die?

LuLzUnDaTaBrDgE 0

gtfo you losers you are why ths websites sucks so bad. go have you bullshit convo somwhere else douchebags.

princessjes23 6

wow rude much? were havin a convo on a comment so u don't even have to look at it. get over urself asshole!!

Mad troll is mad? You're terrible at it anyways, maybe you should stop.

I looked into her soul with my face and she saw obliion, so she became a zombie instead.

luv the zombie face, i just so happen to be a unicorn

Oblivion* Fuck my phone.

princessjes23 6

ha ya that's exactly what happened. haha thank u! that's the result of me havin no life. n nice! but u look like a kitty =P

flockz 19

on a random note, zombie sex is fucking fantastic.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

I'm looking to sell some of master Chuck's leftover corpses...we may be able to help each other.

180. I heard these are very good quality and am willing to make a deal. meet me in limbo by where they torture babies

princessjes23 6

176 knows what's up!!

flockz 19

why hello there 186 i noticed that u are a zombie. i like zombies.

princessjes23 6

hello ;)

me too flock, you can join us in our brutal manslaughter and cannabalistic feast if you wish

flockz 19

nope just in it for the sex that's all i want.

alright. well I'm into zombies but I'm not gay, so I shall leave you two to that business. i heard doing it in a coffin undergound is hot.. that or ripping off and reattaching limbs during intercourse. and zombies do not have periods which is convenient

princessjes23 6

downfall to zombie sex=losing body parts =X

flockz 19

there is nothing like being slapped by a detached arm in the middle of sex. it really.... just brings a feeling nothing else can.

princessjes23 6


flockz 19

of course it would have to be a random arm cuz then the sex would be awkward if it was one of our arms. like two beached horny whales.

princessjes23 6

agreed haha

I love both the kitty face and the zombie face!

hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the soft tissues goes first... of which both your *ahem* and *cough* are a part of (penis and vagina, for those who have already had brain leakage)

flockz 19

i mean they don't call me the undead lady pleaser for nothing. that title is earned. and trust me when i say i have earned it.

That would have been akward.

next time you get a coffee, they should be like "with or without the sperm?"

I would prefer the cream

Gotta have your daily protein

That Sucks, Op. :/ Maybe they'll just forget about it..? it's probably a common mistake.

maybe you'll lose some weight?

was that comment necessary?

anyone smell smoke cuz in think someone just goT BURNED

98 is quite the fucking asshole. A word of advice, if you have to point out other people's flaws, it only makes you seem the insecure fuckstick you really are. Besides, she isn't fat. Good one! Maybe next time you'll make a better joke?

athena3100 9

Dont worry hun, you are beautful the way you are and dont let some duche bag guy tell you otherwise.

CateXOX 0

Oh yeah, I accidentally ask for semen in my coffee all the time. "Accidentally"...

239- maybe OP is still learning German. -.-;.

As a native German, I can say it's not really common but still not that big of a deal.

I must try that coffee with sperm

yummycupkake 0

reading your comment in a heavy, funny accent from ur pic made it sound alot more funnier :DD

orphinz. comment is very nice, but you have iPod mini, I has iPod regular, everyone knows mini is for girls

omg is ur pic the guy in borat! :D

what guy in borat. the only guy in borat is borat himself you flubchunt -.-

192- are your comments always this good or are you just having a moment?

KingGeorgeGal 12

229- they are always really good and funny & you just gutta admit that picture of the dog is just just swaggin(;

242- it's like a doggy pimp.

tzuriel11 9

white girl saying its swaggin lmao

At least you know now, so you won't make a fool of yourself again...

Their ferrret will claw them in the face like the previous FML testing how flexiblity of the ferret's spine.

Crap comment fail...That was meant for #8!

saIty 17

How funny would it be if one of them pulled down their pants, and started beating their ferret?

Lauren10102 3

ferret? I don't think that's a thing normal people say....

I think Mr. Salty does.. ?

saIty 17

It was an old FML, about a kid getting caught beating his ferret.

haha lol that was funny

iluvevil01 11

lol I remember reading that fml about the kid beating his ferret.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7


lol the old fml was him spanking his ferret

vfs_fml 0


Yeah it's was deffinetly SPANKING the ferret, I faved that FML

soulfulemo 0

it's not common cause it's a British saying..:P

athena3100 9

Mm maybe some sperm cakes wail youre at it?

So which one did you get in your coffee?! :D Sperm makes everything taste better!

Xx_Dakota_xX 1

sperm is full protein so it would be good for OP