By JB - 09/09/2012 08:34 - United States - Somerset

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 530
You deserved it 4 909

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Top comments

Past wives, future wives, midwives, good wives, bad wives, big wives, tall wives, fat wives, skinny wives. The list goes on and on!


I would've ended up yelling back "and you're my 15"

Nice hat kid!

mintcar 9

On another episode of Sister Wives..... Jk. But seriously, I want to say he's joking but you never know these days. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your position. Wow.

What an asshole!

Lame dude. Kinda have the feeling he was about to lose the discussion?

I believe in the world of debate we call this non-sequiter, meaning the statement has no real meaning, and is said in a threatening manner as a desperate attempt to gain ground.

And 71. It's also a logical fallacy. Just because she is his current wife, doesn't mean he can find another wife. Time to run a Kritik! :D

I would have screamed back "I know I'm just waiting til you have an acceptable amount of cash before I divorce you and take half"

95- touché, my friend! But it must have topicality, and must contribute to overall solvency of your case!


Well, you don't have stock issues, so there! >:-D

I actually screamed that In round once. We lost.

Lol 131 i bet the judge looked at you like "dafuq?"

The worst part was when my partner got ahold of me.

From the context given by OP, I've come to the assumption that OP's husband was threatening to divorce.

Total control... Just saying.

I would've yelled back "You keep this up and I'll be your widow."

What other kind of wife is there?

Past wives, future wives, midwives, good wives, bad wives, big wives, tall wives, fat wives, skinny wives. The list goes on and on!

Trophy wives.

winnerme123 8

You forget ex-wives.

That's what past wives are.

Future ex wives.

perdix 29

#6, it sounds like you are launching into the old Armour Hot Dogs jingle -- I was waiting for "even wives with chicken pox." If you're under 30, ask your parents.

Multiple wives....

mintcar 9

Sister wives.

Dblocker 18

Dead Wives.

Silent_Thrill 17

Wives that caught you with your secretary and threatened to tell your boss if you don't give her all your money an possessions. Oh... she knew it was your dream job and that you make mistakes easily. The secretary was a one time deal but still, she was gonna tell. She had to be taken care of so that no one would find ou..... oh never mind. #41 already said "dead wives"! Silly me.

27-I'm 35 and I have no idea what your talking about.

#6 that reminds me of "Spill the wine" by war.

perdix 29

#69, Google and YouTube'll fix you right up. For about 60 seconds of effort, you'll be able to decide if comment 27 is funny or not.

Well there could be the raisin wife, or the sultana wife... food based puns - very palatable!

MyChemicalSmosh 4

Teleporting fat wives.

Great Jingle... I don't remember the words, but that never stops me from mumbling the song anyways.

GoodLookingGeese 10

Ugly and yelling wives are the worst ;)

How about wife for life? Can't people commit anymore!?

I know 105 it's sad ae

Commit? What is this strange word you speak of?!

I have a friend who refers to his wife (and mother of their 1 year old daughter) as his "future ex-wife" all the time.

I'm calling all wives. Now everyone report to the dance floor To the dance floor, to the dance floor Now everyone report to the dance floor Alright Stop!... Pajama time...

gashing 2

Haha i like u u make the serial killer in me o so excitable lmao

happy birthday to EMINEM

You forgot widows.

Tell him he's only your current husband. That statement works too.

zingline89 18

Worst. Comeback. Ever.

#50: *shrugs* I tried. Do I get a trophy for most miserable failure? :)

Alright at least you took it well and didnt try arguing, cause that never works on FML

Yeah??! Well, you're only MY current husband too!!... you... you big... you big dummy head you!!

100% agree with u.

50, looks like 76 topped it!

That's terrible :(

As messed up as it is, I think it's actually pretty clever (I mean, in the sarcastic sense of saying it, not the serious sense)

It is kind of clever, but more of a cold-hearted smartass. You don't say that to a spouse or anyone you really love. That kind of comment can damage a relationship forever. :/

Wow, he must take marriage so seriously.

kittycat1597 10

That or he has more than one wife

54 - I'm sure that's legal!

raraisbang 12

117 haven't you ever heard of sister wives?? ;)

v1kt4r 13

If it isnt now, ot will be wen Romney is president.. Mormons rule!!! Lol

habibiiiiiii 2

People say all kinds of stupid things during a fight. At least op didn't sink to his level :/

minus20 4

Sounds like a reasonable man

KiddNYC1O 20

Not gonna lie, you're a handsome dude. I don't doubt you get all the pussy.

SenselessPattern 12

Pretty sure the eyes are what does it for me. The scaly green skin is a close second, though. Seriously, what kind of pimp are you? The Jizzard Lizard?

Kentucky is killing it this week on FML!

zingline89 18

Being the pointless fact-checker that I am, I had to quickly cycle through the last 50 FMLs to see for myself. While I only came accross 2 from Kentucky, peculiarly enough there were 5 from Alberta. Given Alberta has a population less than Kentucky, all logic and reason points to Alberta being the unluckiest place on earth to live. Suck it Syria, you've been trumped. My college Logic and Reasoning professor would be so proud.

Thizzkidsgotgame 7

Thanks for doing what many of us were too lazy to do. Im satisfied.

enormouselephant 15

Hopefully only because you'll be leaving him!

Boob_fml 6

Yes! That's the answer! If you have an argument with your husband or wife you should get a divorce immediately! That's what I always do. Ask my 12th wife, we haven't even argued once.

Is he threatening you with divorce for arguing with him? What an ass!

Never thought of it from that point of view

I hate people who threaten with divorce just to get their way. So childish. If the relationship means that little to them to throw it away over an argument then you're probably better off without them.

My mom constantly threatens divorce to my step dad. It pisses me off so much. I just leave the room and try to ignore it. I feel bad for my little brother he has to deal with it 24/7 while I only have to deal with it two days every other week.

#67, His statement wasn't an escalation?! Perhaps OP can schedule an informational interview with a divorce attorney, just to be on the safe side.

winnerme123 8

Sounds like a man that can stop an argument with his wife very quickly.