By JimmyT - 03/03/2013 22:21 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 565
You deserved it 14 272

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It's one of the wierdest fmls I've ever read on this site.

cmb8280 24

Omg, this just keeps getting better and better! Did not see that ending coming though; FYL.


Al_HyLo 5

Your mom urinates on the floor and demands that you suck her dick?

Harshdfml 14

You better run in that case. She would kill 'her' family too..

1- Just give her some ******* water man!

All I wanted was a Pepsi and they wouldn't give it to me. Institution!

So she comes knocking at your room saying "somebody is gonna eat my pussy or I will slit some throats"

31 I can just see you at my door doing that now...

Phoebe_Buffay 14

31- hey look, there's the line. Whoops, you just crossed it.

Harshdfml 14

46- be glad you don't have one. It would remain virgin FOREVER..!

Smartdumbblonde 27

Am I the only one that thinks that it's creepy that this FML sounds like 1s mother?

Smartdumbblonde 27

Sorry guys, I worded that wrong..... That's supposed to say "am I the only one that thinks that it's creepy that 1 thinks it sounds like their mother?"

You guys can thumb me down all you want but I'm sure I made people out there laugh, after all we have different scene of humor.

cmb8280 24

Omg, this just keeps getting better and better! Did not see that ending coming though; FYL.

Op you kind of deserve it for laughing though.... But FYL still

RpiesSPIES 27

Why would you laugh? FYL+YDI. Be considerate of others even if they've done wrong.

Some people don't deserve to be treated like normal people such as murderers and rapists they deserve to be where they are and op can laugh at them all he wants. OP however did not deserve to have an inmate threaten to kill his family.

Who said the inmate was a murderer or a rapist? Some people just stupidly threaten people.

Oh yes. I'll be considerate, I'll go suck the inmates dick and let him kill my family (end of sarcasm).

dontpanic_fml 32

There was no reason this dude should've laughed, it was idiotic of him to laugh, but not for the reasons you stated.

Why did #3 get so many thumbs down. It's when you start saying things like "some people don't deserve to be treated as people" where you go wrong. They used to say that about blacks / women / gays. He sounds like he has mental issues and even if he doesn't there's always two sides to a story and only idiots refuse to see that.

Thank you, 56. Either all people are equal, or no one is equal. And you cannot go and distinguish that everyone in prison is unequal to the rest of the world. Sure, they probably did something bad to get into prison. And although that is not excusable, there are reasons someone does the things that they do. Often it's something related to mental problems or living in a world where they are forced to do bad things. And I know it isn't in Amercia, but where I live a prison is literally a 'correctional' facility. People who commit crimes often just need treatment.

Here's my offensive argument: no one is equal. The people in prison (more often than not) are there for a good reason. Even if it is a mental issue, in my book they have lost their place as a functioning equal for the mental issue before they even landed a spot in prison. And as far as correctional treatments go: that's a waste of time. The money spent on fixing our societal burdens could be better spent on educating our best students, or funding the now hurting fine arts programs, etc. Instead, we spend our money providing three meals a day (healthcare and facilities too) to prisoners. I have a lot more to say, but my comment devolved into a rant as I continued to write it.

If a guy tells me he's going to kill my family he's lucky I considerate enough to not throw tear gas in his cell. Oh I'd be a very bad prisoner guard. But no he did not deserve it.

73 you seriously think that is money wasted? If you live in the USA: you're not doing it right. I live in the Netherlands and we've got freaking low prison sentences, but a lot of criminals get 2 or 4 years of "TBS" (the correctional part). And that may seem short as well, but that is just the minimum they get. They get diagnosis, therapy and/or medication. If they are considered safe for society again, they can get out. If not, their correctional sentence is extended. And you know what? It ******* works. If you honestly think that is money wasted, you are retarded or just very very ignorant. Because you are saying that if someone committed a crime you should just give up on them and put them in jail, far away from society, right?

@91 Your country's prisons sounds like our country's mental hospitals and treatment centers. Here in America, people with mental illnesses are either committed to a mental hospital (if it's serious enough) or see a psychologist/psychiatrist for medication and therapy. If someone commits a crime and are convicted then they go to jail/prison. Very rarely, someone is found not guilty for reason of insanity. In some cases, people can be reformed but there are also plenty of cases of murderers, rapists and those that have committed aggressive crimes that can't be reformed and are dangerous to the public. America does try to help people who suffer from mental illness, but it's not easy, especially since it's such a big country. You should see our attempts at universal healthcare, many Americans don't like the idea and the government can't even get the website running properly.

His cleverly planted piss did its job.

It's one of the wierdest fmls I've ever read on this site.

wlddog 14

And the scariest part is, its probably true. I had to go to jail ever so often. They are just too weird.

Every so often? What did you do multiple times?

Omfgitsmia 15

I'm not sure I should feel bad for you or if you deserve it lol

untouchable763 10

That's just an overall ****** up situation.

That's just an orange jumpsuit* situation.

ilovera 7

I would NOT laugh at a person in prison who said they would kill my family.

And that's why they invented slip resistant shoes. If you work in any kind of wet floor environment then never leave home without them. Trust me, proper ones work wonders. Especially on water! I work fast food where vegetable oil is the much worse main concern over water. Does wonders. Days that I forget them I wonder how I got around without them.

Arrest him for attempted murder of your girlfriend. Praise da lord she will only be out of action for a month or two and it wasn't more serious :D

I've read this fml several times to see if your comment makes any sense, still doesn't.

Standard "hand is girlfriend" joke, since he was speaking about killing OPs family/loved ones and then indirectly broke his arm I felt like i could make the connection, I may have reached too far and apologize.

Ahhh I see, it does make sense after all! not funny sense however. Thanks for the explanation!

Eeeeeveryones a if jokes were ever funny when explained anyways...anyways I bid thee adieu as I fear this thread will soon find itself buried

I found it slightly amusing, then again I understood the reference rather quickly

FML Community logic: Joke is thumbed down, explanation is thumbed up while joke continues to be thumbed down. Only person who says they understood the joke is thumbed down.