Miscellaneous: Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window... - FML

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 044

You deserved it 50 474

Empathy lives

The sweet smell of success

Stranded

By Felinefine - 15/08/2016 19:33 - United Kingdom - South Petherton

Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 846

You deserved it 2 460

By shewhopoopsinlitterboxes - 25/07/2014 15:54 - United States - Downingtown

Today, there are people working in my bathroom. I have the shits. The only place I could think to go was in my cats litter box. I've used it twice and am now contemplating using it a third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 891

You deserved it 7 641

By creepermagnet - 10/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 858

You deserved it 18 806

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 12:33 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I was cleaning up rabbit pee from the floor when my rabbit hopped up to me. To prevent her from standing in it and spreading it throughout the room, I shooed her away. She got such a fright that she jumped in the pee and spattered it all over my clothes and face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 634

By scarred for life - 21/09/2012 10:57 - Canada - Brampton

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 124

You deserved it 3 687

By Anonymous - 28/08/2014 22:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 367

You deserved it 3 019

Asshole

By Anonymous - 25/01/2014 19:11 - United States - Salida

Today, I went back to work after a horrible bout of respiratory illness. After a few hours of using hot tea, cough drops, and tissues to deal with my lingering cough, I found out that my asshole coworker has filed a formal complaint about me disrupting her concentration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 018

You deserved it 4 261

By Itchy - 28/02/2017 18:00

Today, I found out I'm allergic to soil, pollen, dust, mold, the colors green, yellow, orange, black and grey, most metals, wood, carpet, drywall, most hygiene and beauty products, and plastic. Basically, I was told to avoid the entire planet and everything man-made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 324

You deserved it 661

Sorry grandma

By Anonymous - 22/04/2021 17:01

Today, my grandma called me to see how my oral surgery went. She gave me a kiss over the phone, but when I tried to make the kiss sound back to her, the bandages got in the way and it came out as a fart sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 113

By Anonymous - 08/10/2009 03:22 - United States

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 738

You deserved it 9 044

By sobasics - 06/05/2013 23:43 - United States

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 339

You deserved it 3 704

By LadyLuck - 10/05/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I went to go visit my beloved husband in the hospital. As I went past the nurses station, I heard them talking about the "bastard in Room 303." I went on to visit my husband in room 303. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 842

You deserved it 5 359

By jake - 27/06/2009 21:11 - Denmark

Today, it's been a few days since I decided to give this girl I like the silent treatment.I've been writing on/off with her for a few weeks, but decided to stop a bit, to seem mysterious. When I logged on Facebook today, her status was "..is so happy that annoying guy has stopped writing to me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 63 216

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 831

You deserved it 5 777

By imcold - 30/12/2012 07:32 - United States

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 791

You deserved it 2 765

Twins

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 01:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 778

You deserved it 2 925

By thinking of military school - 23/10/2016 20:35

Today, I drug tested my son for weed. He purposely filled the cup up to the top out of spite and I got piss all over my hands. Oh, and he failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 3 597

By jakethed0g - 10/08/2011 21:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I was camping with my family, and had to share a tent with my 13 year old brother. During the night he had to pee, but instead of going outside to use the bathroom, he zipped open a section of the tent, stuck his knob through it, and peed all over my shoes that were drying outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 262

You deserved it 3 051

By Scat - 15/12/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me why I looked sad. I told him that I found out a co-worker died over the weekend and I failed my final exam. He then informed me that my toilet was clogged again, that he had a lot of work to do, and left. I have to find a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 520

You deserved it 3 098

By lonesome - 15/12/2014 03:22 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 492

You deserved it 6 208

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 5 750

By Aldoch - 30/05/2012 22:41

Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 951

You deserved it 4 819

Oh, the irony

By Anonymous - 21/01/2021 07:56

Today, my dad came home after collecting donations for construction of the temple of Lord Rama, who is known for qualities like patience. Within 5 minutes, he started yelling at my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 72

By walkingisfun - 02/07/2017 20:00

Today, the university bike permit that I'd ordered half a year ago finally arrived. Unfortunately, my bike was stolen months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 773

You deserved it 294

By anon - 03/08/2016 03:28

Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 100

You deserved it 2 517

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 250

You deserved it 3 222

By boring - 10/05/2010 10:14 - New Zealand

Today, I fell asleep and dreamed that I had won $500,000. In my dream, I used this money to buy a new MP3 Player, and then put the rest in a term deposit. Even in my dreams, I'm the most boring person I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 7 954

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 273

You deserved it 310

By Anonymous - 30/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I was so proud of a clever analogy I'd written to a friend in a text, that I “dropped the mic” afterward. I realized what I'd done a split second before the phone hit the ground and shattered into a million pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 250

You deserved it 5 398

By gooddeedgonebad - 26/05/2013 09:19 - Australia - Upper Swan

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 815

You deserved it 3 211

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 293

You deserved it 2 376

By anonymous - 03/01/2011 19:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 791

You deserved it 5 030

By embarrassed - 01/06/2009 20:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my doctor to get the morning after pill. I explained to her that the condom broke and I was nervous. She simply asked me "when" so I replied "...towards the end". I didn't realize she was really asking what day this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 478

You deserved it 64 663

By Mr.no contacts - 31/03/2013 07:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 514

You deserved it 5 717

By rileym797 - 17/06/2009 06:00 - United States

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 329

You deserved it 4 671

By lifeguard down - 01/08/2010 04:23 - United States

Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 653

You deserved it 13 269

By tyler_powellROTC - 15/12/2016 03:43 - United States - Irving

Today, while practicing for a competition, someone decided to spin a rifle with a bayonet. I'm currently sitting in the ER with stitches in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 146

You deserved it 532

By openended - 21/11/2014 16:56 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I realized that having an open relationship isn't all that great, when my boyfriend hooked up with his ex and dumped me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 397

You deserved it 19 339

By paranoid - 06/06/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 659

You deserved it 54 966

By backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 870

You deserved it 3 843

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:38

Prime example of why McDonalds is bad for you.

xaylaxabsencex 4

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:38

well shit.

Comments

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:38

Prime example of why McDonalds is bad for you.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:23

What the heck is a winged rat?! I'm too scared of what I'll find if i google it.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:27

Seagulls. They are seagulls.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:42

I thought pigeons were called winged rats, not seagulls.

jessBeAqueen 13

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:54

I thought bats were called winged rats....

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 15:58

I thought flying rats were called winged rats...

K410 18

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 16:37

Boy that escalated quickly...

applebramble 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:59

I really hope OP pulled over to call 911 and make sure everyone was okay at least :/

FinalDarkWraith 10

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Thursday 11 July 2013 13:58

It seems that a fry is an inverse grenade... Just toss it and a bunch of birds are sucked into it, causing mass destruction...

xaylaxabsencex 4

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:38

well shit.

boredSOLDIER 33

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 15:02

^^ Exactly. Plus OP, an experienced driver would know not to swerve, it's heaps more dangerous than hitting an animal, ftl and yours.

TheOnlyMizLiv 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 18:53

OMG you look just like Tulisa... you know, the X Factor judge. Sorry I just wanted to say you're heck of beautiful (she's my #1 woman crush).

RedPillSucks 31

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 18:58

Not sure why this is being thumbed down. Sound advice.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:00

There's a difference between hitting one animal and potentially hitting a flock of birds. One is not so dangerous, the other has the potential to be incredibly dangerous.

TheOnlyMizLiv 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:01

They removed my comment >.> just trying to spread the love wth. :c

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:12

88 - more dangerous than swerving, and potentially hitting another car, a tree, a lamppost, etc?

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:58

Yea incredibly dangerous if it was a car, but it was a truck. I think you meant the truck was incredibly dangerous for the pigeons.

Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:39

Ever heard of the term "don't feed the animals"?

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:50

This seems like an inadvertent episode of 'When Animals Attack"

SilencioIsTheKey 12

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 11:25

Isn't that a rule at the zoo and large parks that contain something.. I don't know, dangerous? Like... Bears? Generally not something like a bird. But I don't think I'd feed a seagull. More like a duck or pidgeons.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:05

Oh my! I've never heard of that before! Thank you for enlightening me, I guess I will stop feeding my pets from now on.

TheOnlyMizLiv 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 18:54

46 - PETA's gon find you!

clemsi 20

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 20:48

PETA does not want people to own pets anway so they are probably already on their way.

finalyearsofhate 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 22:00

Actually a lot of places have bans on feeding gulls.

AbstraktThoughts 13

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:39

And your life sucks, how? More like fuck the lives of those involved in the accident that YOU caused OP!

AbstraktThoughts 13

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:44

Wtf? My comment got moderated bc Mu comment said, "And this is an FML for you, how? More like an FML for those who were involved in the accident YOU caused, OP." Mod gods be trippen.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:40

All this commotion due to a thrown french fry . You should be ashamed of yourself OP .

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 10:43

noone said idiocy was intentional...

applebramble 22

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 20:00

As if he meant for that to happen

Metallica36176 16

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Thursday 11 July 2013 15:11

I'm pretty sure she was being sarcastic guys...thats how I took it at least.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:40

You pecked a wrong time to though that fry

Dusty_Busters 15

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 10:03

Well done.

wasliedtoasakid 22

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Saturday 9 April 2016 5:43

throw***

brittyboo123 35

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:41

I hope everyone in that truck is okay. Hopefully the crash wasn't extreme.

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:44

Jeez OP that's just bad luck. Is your name Brian, by any chance?

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 12:28

No but I bet the truck driver is

persianninja 23

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 13:01

They might be long lost brothers who knows

NoFlippinWai 24

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Friday 12 July 2013 12:18

nope. pretty sure op is john. ^.^

WellImScrewed124 6

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:45

On shit

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 9:47

Although quite hilarious and odd timing. It actually doesn't come down to your fault. Don't be so hard on yourself. No you shouldn't have thrown the fry out of a moving vehicle but then again the other driver shouldn't have veered so hard. Hitting the brakes would have worked just as well. (Where I live this sort of thing -animals popping in the road- is quite common so maybe I'm just applying logic from here but hey they don't call it an opinion for nothing)

KeXu 6

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 17:01

Trucks take a longer time to stop

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Wednesday 10 July 2013 19:02

Note that the OP doesn't say what kind of truck. It might just be a pick-up truck, in which case it wouldn't take longer to stop at all.

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Thursday 11 July 2013 3:44

Yeah, their brakes are also louder, I'm not an expert on seagulls, but I'm pretty sure they fly away at loud noises. Just putting it out there.

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Thursday 11 July 2013 5:20

There shit hawks he should've hit them we could use a few less

Nearly

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 17

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 7

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 83

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 87