By 2in longer - 01/11/2016 12:57 - United States - Coldwater

Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff, just in time for her to clench tight, and pull violently. She didn't know "it" was in her hand, as she was trying to cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen. FML
I agree, your life sucks 11 796
You deserved it 1 143
Intimacy
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Welshite 39
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OP: "Oh my manhood! My womb raider! My baby-maker custard launcher! " Girlfriend: "It's a penis. "

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Tripartita 44
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"Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff" Ah, yes, an erection. "… cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen." Ah, yes, so still an erection.

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crudeandrudeguy 29
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Some people pay good money for that type of special attention

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Ashamed_Sister 60
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And many man would pay a fortune to get what OP’s username says: 2 inch longer!

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Welshite 39
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OP: "Oh my manhood! My womb raider! My baby-maker custard launcher! " Girlfriend: "It's a penis. "

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ThrottleJockey 34
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My people mushroom-headed yogurt slinger!

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Tripartita 44
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"Today, while laying in bed with my girlfriend, I felt her grab my manhood through a layer of blankets. I got a bit stiff" Ah, yes, an erection. "… cover herself with the blanket. My manhood is now red and swollen." Ah, yes, so still an erection.

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Emma1562 35
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Have her kiss it to make it feel better.

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Qandol 26
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How Small it is that she didn't noticed it while pulling the blanket?

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2simz 25
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It was a layer of blankets, not just one

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RichardPencil 30
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What a dick move!

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Dtcnationz 6
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Is too late to say that your girlfriend made a ballsy decision? You know what nvm it wasn't like she was dicking around or anything like that..

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Emma1562 35
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That was a ballsy move using that many puns bro.

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GhostFox 33
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As unpleasant as it will probably be- ice and heat.

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socialproduct 19
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But don't use Icy Hot! Learned that lesson the hard way.

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GhostFox 33
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Well THAT thought made me cringe. Especially since the damn stuff gives me burns to begin with. (I have absurdly sensitive skin.) But seriously, ice if you can tolerate will help bring down swelling and numb the pain, heat will speed up the redistribution of fluid that cause swelling. And you probably wouldn't feel up to it anyway, but no sex- if somethings injured in any substantial way, it'll probably make things worse. If your penis is severely bruised and swollen- as in black and blue- and you feel or hear crackling or popping, get to the ER because you may have a fractured or broken dick.

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jessicasoho 13
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Sometimes you think it's a hand job, but eventually you'll anticipate a girl just wants some more covers. Try getting slapped by your sleeping partner lol. Sleeping can be violent sometimes lol. Hope it gets better.

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mrBearBear 11
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Just say penis.

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Earl_KarmasBitch 31
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That has nothing to do with this FML OP, #14 just wants to hear you say it.

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