Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML
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Top comments
By
mmmPoptarts
| 6
That's only if you're still fertile
By
jackson41
| 4
Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P
COMMENTS
By
mmmPoptarts
| 6
That's only if you're still fertile
Reply
Hidur
| 10
The ground is fertile enough to grow weeds. It's practically mocking him!
Reply
iiTsAJ
| 5
Looks like we're going to have to wait and watch…
Reply
Marcella1016
| 29
Did you also soil your pants?
Reply
alwaysrunnin
| 3
I feel bad for the poor guy. Yet the FML is funny, especially with 'future children already filing for abuse' and yet ironic cos fertile garden
Reply
yahoowizard
| 16
Thank you for that literary analysis 41. Really talked about stuff under the surface there. B+
Reply
Daederoth
| 10
And let's hope you're not. You probably should not reproduce if you posted a time you punched yourself in the nuts on FML.
Reply
xTwig
| 10
I'm thinking around C- not a B+
By
The_DoritoNinja
| 4
Don't worry, just Mother Nature screwing with us again.
Reply
Zedd_fml
| 8
OP it's more like, you just punched your future children goodbye.
By
Sammmy7Rocks
| 0
If you have kids haha
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
Haha--
No.
Think up a better joke next time. Douche.
No.
Think up a better joke next time. Douche.
Reply
itsharkley
| 8
Y U be a douche?!
Reply
lifesabitch77
| 0
Don't be a bitch-_- #75 do you know what a douche is? But in this case it applies...
By
jackson41
| 4
Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P
Reply
yoursucklives
| 36
But I think it's very hard to punch a woman in the ovaries!
Reply
MissHayleyJames
| 7
Not really. It's actually quite easy but doesn't have the same impact that it does on testicles.
Reply
yoursucklives
| 36
What I meant to say with that comment, was, that testicals are more "visible" than ovaries.
Reply
goldfishgod
| 20
God bless you. Women are born with a finite number of eggs;men have countless & unlimited sperm.
Reply
HoboSmeller
| 6
@49- which porn has taught us usually ends up on girls faces and lower back.
Reply
Dimence
| 9
Well i thought that if the fabric gets damaged it won't produce more products? Must be a harder force I guess
Reply
Miss_Bethica
| 11
are you dumb? what do you think a period is lol.
Reply
nofearjenshere
| 12
. < This
Reply
itsharkley
| 8
OP was not worried about sperm count. He was worried about fertility. Wait. Im out of character.
Y U no study biology?!
Y U no study biology?!
Reply
MissHayleyJames
| 7
Have you women never had a gyno exam before? It's really easy to reach your ovaries through your skin.
Reply
haycassidy
| 7
Oh 81, I really hope you're joking.
Reply
MrBrightside21
| 20
I heard that man has a limited amount of sperm, and can only have sex with about every woman in Europe, twice.
Challenge accepted.
...Just kidding. That shit would hurt.
Challenge accepted.
...Just kidding. That shit would hurt.
Reply
SubaruWRXSTI
| 16
81, your period discards an unfertilised egg, in fact women only have 400-500 eggs in their ovaries. I'm a guy and I know this...
By
Matt_Lord_Of_The
| 3
Mother nature is having herself a giggle
By
WCARlover
| 34
What future children?
Reply
Linkerdoodles
| 15
His sperm…?
Sorry, I can't tell if you're serious or just using dumb sarcasm.
Sorry, I can't tell if you're serious or just using dumb sarcasm.
Reply
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH
| 7
74- asshole.
By
mishaparis
| 7
that does seem painful。
Reply
SkoomaKi
| 27
Oh another duck face.... *loads shotgun*
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
Wait SkoomaKi! You'll need something bigger:
*Hands minigun*
Now go! Before she flies away!
*Hands minigun*
Now go! Before she flies away!
By
ILoveDaWorld
| 5
dont worry your future kids will only be slightly messed up
By
sillycart
| 9
That's prob as bad as pulling on something while another person is pulling the other end and they let go.
Reply
missalkali
| 8
that's exactly what it is except here the other side isn't a person so it minimizes the hard feelings factor
By
thenewlautner
| 4
I had a friend who did that with a big military-sized tire iron
Reply
sparkrok
| 8
tire irons are bigger in the military?
Reply
CockAsian
| 14
EVERYTHING is bigger in the military. ;D
Reply
LSS_fml
| 18
62 I thought that was Texas?
Reply
shorty6823
| 28
What about a military base in Texas?