Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed...

By JurassicHole - 22/4/2012 03:27 - United States

Today, while landscaping my backyard, I was pulling a big weed out of the ground. After the last tug, the soil came free, but ended up with me punching myself full force in the nuts. I think my future children are already filing for parental abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25995

You deserved it

4405

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Children, toy!

A beautiful truck decoration

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Top comments

By mmmPoptarts | 6

#4338143 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:16

That's only if you're still fertile

By jackson41 | 4

#4338164 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

Comments

By mmmPoptarts | 6

#4338143 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:16

That's only if you're still fertile

Hidur | 10

#4338166 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

The ground is fertile enough to grow weeds. It's practically mocking him!

iiTsAJ | 5

#4338275 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:33

Looks like we're going to have to wait and watch…

Marcella1016 | 26

#4338431 - Sunday 22 April 2012 9:14

Did you also soil your pants?

alwaysrunnin | 3

#4338489 - Sunday 22 April 2012 9:26

I feel bad for the poor guy. Yet the FML is funny, especially with 'future children already filing for abuse' and yet ironic cos fertile garden

yahoowizard | 16

#4338621 - Sunday 22 April 2012 10:27

Thank you for that literary analysis 41. Really talked about stuff under the surface there. B+

Daederoth | 10

#4339222 - Sunday 22 April 2012 14:55

And let's hope you're not. You probably should not reproduce if you posted a time you punched yourself in the nuts on FML.

xTwig | 10

#5570342 - Monday 8 July 2013 5:00

I'm thinking around C- not a B+

By The_DoritoNinja | 4

#4338159 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

Don't worry, just Mother Nature screwing with us again.

Zedd_fml | 8

#4339114 - Sunday 22 April 2012 14:14

OP it's more like, you just punched your future children goodbye.

By Sammmy7Rocks | 0

#4338162 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:17

If you have kids haha

The_Hitdude | 12

#4339327 - Sunday 22 April 2012 15:26

Haha--
No.

Think up a better joke next time. Douche.

itsharkley | 8

#4340196 - Sunday 22 April 2012 18:11

Y U be a douche?!

lifesabitch77 | 0

#4341919 - Monday 23 April 2012 1:47

Don't be a bitch-_- #75 do you know what a douche is? But in this case it applies...

By jackson41 | 4

#4338164 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:18

Good thing guys constantly generate new sperm! Lol girls don't generate new "eggs" ever, so if they get damages they literally damage their future children. Nerd moment srry :P

yoursucklives | 36

#4338297 - Sunday 22 April 2012 8:37

But I think it's very hard to punch a woman in the ovaries!

MissHayleyJames | 7

#4338447 - Sunday 22 April 2012 9:16

Not really. It's actually quite easy but doesn't have the same impact that it does on testicles.

yoursucklives | 36

#4338496 - Sunday 22 April 2012 9:27

What I meant to say with that comment, was, that testicals are more "visible" than ovaries.

goldfishgod | 20

#4338598 - Sunday 22 April 2012 10:17

God bless you. Women are born with a finite number of eggs;men have countless & unlimited sperm.

HoboSmeller | 6

#4338687 - Sunday 22 April 2012 10:55

@49- which porn has taught us usually ends up on girls faces and lower back.

Dimence | 9

#4338706 - Sunday 22 April 2012 11:01

Well i thought that if the fabric gets damaged it won't produce more products? Must be a harder force I guess

Miss_Bethica | 11

#4339985 - Sunday 22 April 2012 17:32

are you dumb? what do you think a period is lol.

nofearjenshere | 12

#4340033 - Sunday 22 April 2012 17:41

. < This

itsharkley | 8

#4340200 - Sunday 22 April 2012 18:12

OP was not worried about sperm count. He was worried about fertility. Wait. Im out of character.

Y U no study biology?!

MissHayleyJames | 7

#4340494 - Sunday 22 April 2012 19:29

Have you women never had a gyno exam before? It's really easy to reach your ovaries through your skin.

haycassidy | 7

#4341985 - Monday 23 April 2012 2:07

Oh 81, I really hope you're joking.

MrBrightside21 | 20

#4342270 - Monday 23 April 2012 3:58

I heard that man has a limited amount of sperm, and can only have sex with about every woman in Europe, twice.

Challenge accepted.

...Just kidding. That shit would hurt.