Animals: Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the...

By avatarnicole9 - Canada

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

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Animals

Late term

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Bob the Builder

By NotCool - 19/1/2021 19:57 - United States - Midlothian

Crossed Animal

Today, just like every other day, my mom has prioritized doing chores and chatting with her neighbors above even talking to me. This would be fine, if it wasn't in Animal Crossing. Apparently, a lifestyle video game is more important than me. FML

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By Sabre777

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

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By krissysays - United States

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

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By Ouch - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I watched Juno. When the baby is born in the film, I put my arm around my girlfriend and whispered in her ear that one day it could be us having a baby. She responded by punching me in the happy sacks and telling me I wasn't getting any from her in a long time. FML

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By hatemylifelol - United States - Roseville

Today, I noticed I parked behind a boy I like. Trying to impress him with my driving skills, I ended up forgetting to put the car in reverse and rear-ended him. FML

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By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 08:02

Ratatouille

Today, after my house almost got broken into last week, when I heard some noises in the kitchen I went to investigate. I saw a huge rat run across my floor, and nearly peed myself thinking it was an intruder. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

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By mykhael - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

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By ChiefKoala

This is America

Today, it will be the third time since moving to this area that I will have to call out of work because of gunshots heard nearby, police looking for someone and advising us to stay indoors. FML

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By ouch - United States - Nashville

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

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By ITalkGood - France

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

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By happy birthday to me - United States

Today, I had to explain to half of my class that yes, my birthday is on the same day as Hitler's, but no, it does not make me a Nazi. FML

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By disappointed - United States - West Fargo

Today, I finally finished watching Dexter. I was more disappointed by the finale than the picture I later received of my girlfriend cheating on me. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I attempted to score with a previous friend-with-benefits by sending her a photo of my Christmas present, bondage rope. She arrived an hour later in a mad panic. She thought I was going to hang myself. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 14:02 - Singapore - Singapore

No Gods, No Masters

Today, it's been 3 weeks of being sick with gastritis and constantly feeling pain and weak. I've been pushing myself to work, and despite doing 150+ files, my boss said it’s not good enough for the company and hinted I might be let go. I got my job during the pandemic and might be losing it after 3 months. FML

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By kalazoo21 - United States

Unexpected

Today, I quit my job that my girlfriend and I worked together at. Fellow employees are not allowed to date one another and I said it would be ok if I was the one to leave. When I got home to her and told her that I quit, she decided to break up with me. I now have no job and no girlfriend. FML

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By Confused lesbian - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

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By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin

Today, a grown man yelled at me because he'd been waiting for 15 minutes and still hadn't been seated or had his order taken. We were at a self-serve breakfast buffet. FML

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By ??? - 19/7/2020 05:01

Double crossed

Today, I found out the best man at my wedding was banging my wife after years of being married. My best man was my brother. FML

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By Math_Rocker - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

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By captainlame - United States

Today, I returned from a 5-day cruise for my senior spring break, filled with gorgeous sorority girls from all over the country. I was seasick the whole time. FML

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By BirthdayGirl - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

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By Shantwozzlah - United States - Kissimmee

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to scare me by maniacally zooming in and out of traffic while we were on his motorcycle. His mood turned to anger when I nervously admitted to having voided my bowels. FML

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By nothing is sacred - United States - Reynoldsburg

Today, I caught my mom using my toothbrush and washcloth again, despite her having both her own bathroom and supplies. I asked her to please not use mine, to which she called me an ungrateful bitch. My dad agreed. Yet they wonder why I've been desperately saving money to move out. FML

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By thatCanadianGuy7 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

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By mallcop - United States

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

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By Ain't going nowhere - United States - Chicago

Today, I politely asked a coworker to stop sticking his chewed-up gum to my desk. It's now 10:57 pm and my tires are slashed. FML

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By ksamp - United States

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/11/2020 17:02

Face reality

Today, I realized I'm so lonely I would rather pretend I don't know I'm being cheated on than leave. We've been together a year and he's my virtual boyfriend. FML

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By Adrian James

Today, I got into a fight with my roommate's girlfriend's best friend. A few hours later, they had me evicted. FML

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By demk - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

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By ditzen - United States

Today, I went to pick up my paycheck at the convenience store I work at. While there, two frat boys came in and bought seventeen 30 packs of beer. That comes to about $300. They spent more at the store in one day than I get paid in two weeks. FML

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By nycplywood - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML

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By beautyschool22 - United States

Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML

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By Shelbs - United States

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Stillwater

Today, I was taken to the principal's office and bitched out about the dangerous weapon I brought to school. The "weapon" was a pocket fan. FML

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By ellen77 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

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By ugh - United States

Today, I asked my mom why she decided to be a parent. She replied, in all seriousness, "Everyone else was doing it." FML

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By princess_stabitty - 1/8/2020 08:01

Jealousy

Today, my boss's husband came over to our office, and as a by the way comment told our boss my make-up looks good and suits me. The thing is, I've never worn make-up to work, and obviously, he never told his wife, my boss, that she looks good with make-up on. I'm fucked. FML

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Top comments

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6310845 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Thats so sad

By RickySleeves | 20

#6310881 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:57

There goes the Easter bunny.

COMMENTS

By Saphiraa | 10

#6310841 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:45

Aww RIP bunny. Reminds me of the rabbit film Watership Down

slingerslasher | 24

#6310891 - Friday 5 June 2015 1:06

Before I knew what that book was actually about, I thought it was some awesome story about a naval battle or something.

judgingrabbit | 12

#6310904 - Friday 5 June 2015 1:21

Lol what's the book about? When I watched it years ago, all there was were bunnies .-. Just bunnies doing bunny stuff

redstone7693 | 29

#6311083 - Friday 5 June 2015 4:57

#17 How do you watch a book

IDerive | 12

#6311104 - Friday 5 June 2015 5:25

I just remember rabbits killing rabbits in the show..

Jonkbaby | 20

#6311278 - Friday 5 June 2015 11:33

animals can be kind of dumb sometimes, sorry OP

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6310845 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Thats so sad

By mds9986 | 24

#6310847 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Well don't let it go to waste. Better call McDonald's and let them use it.

ColonelCusswords | 24

#6310874 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:53

Knowing mc donalds, they probably do use road kill

91hayek | 31

#6311025 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:40

lol you wish. McDonalds uses worse than roadkill.

RenoTheRhino | 30

#6311040 - Friday 5 June 2015 4:14

McDonald's likely doesn't use ingredients that have ever even been killed; it's all slime.

By lukian_fml | 29

#6310851 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

The last time I saw two bunnies on the side of the road, I took them home as pets. :3

sonasonic | 34

#6311026 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:40

I don't think OP can take the bunnies home, seeing one of them is a pancake now.

By Emma1562 | 35

#6310852 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

Awe ftbl- fuck that bunny's life

RoboCunnilingus | 23

#6312423 - Saturday 6 June 2015 18:37

I read this comment and wonder how many of us needed you to break down that initialism.

By darkstarrising | 18

#6310856 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

Well shit. Poor bunny. Well, it's in a better place I hope.

AnOriginalName | 19

#6310994 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:00

In the middle of the road? Is that really a better place?

vinnerator | 7

#6311086 - Friday 5 June 2015 5:05

he meant heaven

meliodafool_ | 15

#6311163 - Friday 5 June 2015 7:07

the big carrot farm in the sky.

By ohjoy15 | 33

#6310859 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

It couldn't have thought of going in ANY other direction? Natural selection was coming for that rabbit anyways. If anything, you've strengthened their gene pool.

Jokes aside, sorry you had to see that. RIP. :(