Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the...

By avatarnicole9 - Canada

Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML

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Animals

Understandable

Shark-infested offices

Furry family

By huj - United States

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

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By Sudokori

A Dog's Love = Priceless

Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML

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By Lotje13 - Hungary

Today, I was sleeping over at a friend's house. I went and took a shower, and as I tried to get out, the door jammed. I called my friend for help, and after much tugging, the glass shattered all over me. She panicked and sent her dad to rescue me. It was the first time he and I had met. FML

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By ledon - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML

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By alyssaamarante - United States - East Northport

Today, I decided to go thrifting to save some money. Ironically, I ended up having to pay for an emergency trip to the hospital because somebody was too lazy to wash the cat hair off their clothes. I'm severely allergic to cats. FML

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By Master's_degree_in_failure - 17/10/2020 22:30

The ole answer/forward conundrum

Today, I "answered" an email instead of "forwarding" it. As a result, there is a chance that my Master's thesis supervisor gets a message from me starting by the F-word, and complaining about my bad work and inability to understand a deadline. FML

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By Mikimiks93 - South Africa

Today, while driving on a totally deserted, long, straight road in the middle of the bush, I sneezed and drove right into a pole on the side of the road. It was the only pole for over 50 km. FML

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By toothfairy - United Kingdom

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

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By Bellend - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed a flash car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

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By Gangnam - Sweden - Bromma

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

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By Dude - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to school after missing the first 2 weeks of the new school year. I got grilled in my first lesson by my teacher for "gallivanting around on holiday in some sunny place" when I should've been at school learning. My dad had died from liver cancer. FML

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By nipman - United States

Today, my grandpa who is staying with us mistook me for a Japanese soldier and started to hit me with a bat. This is the second night in a row. FML

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By jshum - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I bought a new phone. It's shock proof, water proof, you name it. Just not kitten proof, it seems. That's $400 down the drain. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

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By Asterisk1009 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

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By Username - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

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By James - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to the woman of my dreams. I finished before entering. I'm 28 years old. FML

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By sadcapri96 - United States

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

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By SmallAngel - United States - Aurora

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

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By hairycarrie - 28/8/2020 04:49 - United States

Splitting hairs

Today, although the I’ve always kept my pubic hair neat and trimmed, my boyfriend once again complained that I don’t shave. When I told him that shaving is uncomfortable and risks ingrown hairs, he sulked and said, “But it’ll look so much better!” He needs to lay off the porn. FML

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By Benjamin - United States

Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML

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By Sarah220 - United States

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

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By Fitz - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

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By eh - Azerbaijan - Baku

Today, my laziness reached a whole new level when I caught myself skipping the longer FML stories to read the shorter ones. FML

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By likwidsol - United States

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I actually slipped on a banana peel, cartoon-style, breaking my kneecap and dislocating my hip. I will never hear the end of this. FML

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By lakatkat - United States

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

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By Australian Lifeguard - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Alpine

Today, I learned that my wife used to strip while in college. I found this out when I brought her to a work party and my boss recognized her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arcata

Today, I interviewed three elderly residents at a nursing home, hoping to use the transcript for a very important paper due next week. It went great, so I wrapped up and drove home. I sat down to start typing, and realized that my recording had stopped ten minutes in. FML

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By Anonymous - South Africa - Pinetown

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother decided to tell me about how my twin brother almost killed me in the womb when his cord wrapped around my neck. When she left the room, he said, "You won't be so lucky next time." FML

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By for the whored - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

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By cali - United States

Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML

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By whoops - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

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By rainey - United States

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

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By cockblocked - United States - Goose Creek

Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML

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By Guy - United States - O Fallon

Today, the man who fired me from my job became my stepfather. FML

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Top comments

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6310845 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Thats so sad

By RickySleeves | 20

#6310881 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:57

There goes the Easter bunny.

COMMENTS

By Saphiraa | 10

#6310841 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:45

Aww RIP bunny. Reminds me of the rabbit film Watership Down

slingerslasher | 24

#6310891 - Friday 5 June 2015 1:06

Before I knew what that book was actually about, I thought it was some awesome story about a naval battle or something.

judgingrabbit | 12

#6310904 - Friday 5 June 2015 1:21

Lol what's the book about? When I watched it years ago, all there was were bunnies .-. Just bunnies doing bunny stuff

redstone7693 | 29

#6311083 - Friday 5 June 2015 4:57

#17 How do you watch a book

IDerive | 12

#6311104 - Friday 5 June 2015 5:25

I just remember rabbits killing rabbits in the show..

Jonkbaby | 19

#6311278 - Friday 5 June 2015 11:33

animals can be kind of dumb sometimes, sorry OP

By clevergirl98 | 20

#6310845 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Thats so sad

By mds9986 | 24

#6310847 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:46

Well don't let it go to waste. Better call McDonald's and let them use it.

ColonelCusswords | 24

#6310874 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:53

Knowing mc donalds, they probably do use road kill

91hayek | 31

#6311025 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:40

lol you wish. McDonalds uses worse than roadkill.

RenoTheRhino | 30

#6311040 - Friday 5 June 2015 4:14

McDonald's likely doesn't use ingredients that have ever even been killed; it's all slime.

By lukian_fml | 29

#6310851 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

The last time I saw two bunnies on the side of the road, I took them home as pets. :3

sonasonic | 34

#6311026 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:40

I don't think OP can take the bunnies home, seeing one of them is a pancake now.

By Emma1562 | 35

#6310852 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

Awe ftbl- fuck that bunny's life

RoboCunnilingus | 23

#6312423 - Saturday 6 June 2015 18:37

I read this comment and wonder how many of us needed you to break down that initialism.

By darkstarrising | 18

#6310856 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

Well shit. Poor bunny. Well, it's in a better place I hope.

AnOriginalName | 19

#6310994 - Friday 5 June 2015 3:00

In the middle of the road? Is that really a better place?

vinnerator | 7

#6311086 - Friday 5 June 2015 5:05

he meant heaven

meliodafool_ | 15

#6311163 - Friday 5 June 2015 7:07

the big carrot farm in the sky.

By ohjoy15 | 33

#6310859 - Friday 5 June 2015 0:47

It couldn't have thought of going in ANY other direction? Natural selection was coming for that rabbit anyways. If anything, you've strengthened their gene pool.

Jokes aside, sorry you had to see that. RIP. :(