By coolest_mom
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
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  oiler  |  21

OP should try getting intimate with husband and and have the baby start crying, making OP say " OH you just got cock-blocked!"