Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my... - FML

By anyone - Lebanon

Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my school's class reunion. I was the ONLY one not invited. FML

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Rock, hard place

This is us

Where are you?

By peopleinthepark - United States

Today, it was beautiful out. I decided to play guitar at the park near my house. I left my guitar case open, asking not for money but for feedback. I got two pieces of paper with feedback: 1) You're fat. 2) Get a life. FML

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By wot02 - United States

Today, my long distance boyfriend got angry because I like touching myself while we sext. It "distracts" me from him. I'm sorry you turn me on. FML

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By unsuspcted - United States

Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML

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By NOOOOOO - United States

Today, my only pair of shoes that I brought got stolen at the airport while I was being checked by security. I'm now stuck 1000 miles from home with no shoes. FML

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By FUKDOUG - Canada

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/9/2020 13:57 - Canada - Windsor

Unrequited

Today, I ran into my childhood crush. She was the one who made me realize I was bi, and I was enthralled by her. Too bad she was straight. She's only gotten more attractive, and now she's in my program. FML

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By *sigh* - United States

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Ipswich

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

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By Some Guy - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a 2 year old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me and started crying and stabbed me right in my foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds then said " who the hell are you?" FML

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By mrtut - United Kingdom

Today, as a physics teacher, I was testing a class to see how high a sound frequency they could hear. One girl claimed she could hear the sound even though it was physically impossible. Without thinking, I replied "Only dogs can hear this frequency." Needless to say, she was picked on all day. FML

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By mean mommy

Today, I was hosting a slumber party for my daughter, but I ended it abruptly and demanded that every child be picked up. Several pissed off parents and a sobbing daughter later, I’m the most hated. I made them leave after 2 of the girls bragged about losing their virginity. They’re 12. FML

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By superb12345 - United States - Cascade

Today, my parents posted nasty comments about each other on Facebook. I think they might secretly be 12 year-olds. FML

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By soontobesingle - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was getting out of the car, my 7-year-old son opened the door for me. I thought it was very gentlemanly of him to do that, until he smashed my thumb with the car door. FML

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By me - United States

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

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By childdreamkiller - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was fitting an elderly gentleman for a suit, he muttered all too loudly that he'd give his left nut for a reacharound. FML

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By sophiae123 - United States - Cadillac

Today, my parents threatened to take away my college funds. Why? Because I complained about my 10 pm curfew during break as a freshman in college. FML

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By Letteh

Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML

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By scooter922 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I got home from the hospital after I burned my hand. Why? I dropped my phone in the pot while stirring hot soup, and I reached in to get it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex for our first time, my boyfriend decided to test out a theory he heard about, that conversation during sex makes it more enjoyable. His way of doing it? He looked me straight in the eye and asked "How 'bout them Brewers?" We're from Wisconsin. That's our local sports team. FML

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By EwFace - United States

Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said "Eww!". The boy then asks, "What's "ew" mean?". I replied with, "Something gross and yucky". Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!". FML

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By thafinest - United States

Thanks, "Mom"

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

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By Oops - United States

Today, I was at a party and saw an old friend from college. I went up to her asking how she was and how her family was. She went on to tell me that her husband left her a month ago and started crying. I told her that he was an ass anyway and that she didn't need him. Turns out he died. FML

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By UnluckyTeen - Singapore

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

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By ? - United States

Today, while I was in confession, I was saying my sins and the priest called me a "pain in the ass." FML

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By night_fox88 - 27/1/2020 05:00 - United States - Camden

Go out please!

Today, I woke up to my overly religious grandmother trying to shove salt down my throat yelling "DEMON BE GONE!". Why? I didn't wear the cross neckless she bought me. FML

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By Rosies - France

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

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By rejected - United States - Milpitas

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML

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By cAPITOLpORN - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML

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By Samantha - Canada

Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML

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By hobbit - United States - Winthrop

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

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By - 19/1/2020 18:00

Romantic gesture

Today, I learned that a spontaneous romantic gesture of arriving home early with flowers and wine is not welcome when your wife is busy having sex with your brother. FML

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By argh - United States

Today, I'm staying with my mother for a week. Every time I eat something, she tells me that it's "swimsuit season" and that I need to eat less. Every time I say I'm not hungry, she panics and insists I have an eating disorder. I can't win. FML

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By played - Norway

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

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By fearofzombies - United States

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

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By annonymous - United States

Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML

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Top comments

By ideasrule | 13

#1339180 - Thursday 2 September 2010 16:19

I'm disappointed by the extremely hurtful comments posted here about the OP. Have none of you been lonely before? Do you not know what empathy means? Not every unpopular person is a mean-hearted Scrooge; some are very nice but lack the social skills necessary to make friends.

By ken12317 | 7

#1338937 - Thursday 2 September 2010 14:28

wow im amazed by the way fml comments go off track

COMMENTS

By Avenger_fml | 0

#1338488 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:04

FIRST.

By impatientkarma | 0

#1338490 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:04

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

Reply

starxshine | 0

#1338623 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:27

i agree with 1

Reply

vinay111 | 1

#1338681 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:48

maybe they forgot you or u werent in the school records

Reply

cOOkiEzRgOOd | 22

#1338689 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:50

how did nobody reply to ones comment in 6 hrs? most people do in 6 min???

Reply

PimpdaddyCJT | 13

#1338705 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:57

wow that sucks

Reply

mooimafish | 0

#1338856 - Thursday 2 September 2010 13:56

aw, that sucks ...

Reply

wtfwtjd | 0

#1339014 - Thursday 2 September 2010 15:01

Maybe your significant other, assuming you have one, is embarrassed of you and promptly destroyed the invitation upon receiving it to save himself. Or you're just a loser.

Reply

fable_fayebee | 0

#1339322 - Thursday 2 September 2010 17:00

maybe no one really liked you in high school :)

Reply

bigredmonkeybutt | 24

#1339535 - Thursday 2 September 2010 18:17

Wow. Not only does your entire hs class hate you but so does the reunion service most schools use to organize their reunions. Sucks to be you. YDI

Reply

irmike | 0

#1339622 - Thursday 2 September 2010 19:08

your parents are stupid

Reply

AbsoluteTurtle | 0

#1340018 - Thursday 2 September 2010 21:38

most of the time even losers show up #1 so thats not it. he/shes probably a douchebag/bitch.

Reply

Molord1 | 0

#1340940 - Friday 3 September 2010 2:39

YDI for a) being a loser
b) being a douche bag
c) being annoying
or d) all of the above

Reply

Ninjasaurus18 | 9

#4592860 - Thursday 21 June 2012 1:27

Or an asshole, that was mean to everyone but liked to play the role of 'loser with no friends, and a bad home life' so they never got caught.

By Avenger_fml | 0

#1338506 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:05

WTF NOW IT WONT LET ME POST MY REAL COMMENT. 

Reply

KarinaLizeth18 | 5

#1338522 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:08

hahahha sukker congrats on first though xD I just got first too :D

Reply

KarinaLizeth18 | 5

#1338553 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:14

hey man wth happened to our firsts?!?! 

Reply

PizzaGuy11 | 0

#1338948 - Thursday 2 September 2010 14:33

:O 

Reply

sexy_chick_123 | 0

#1339713 - Thursday 2 September 2010 19:30

I think they get deleted for saying first or even second or third.

By Haha_donkey | 0

#1338519 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:07

Your a fag

By Avenger_fml | 0

#1338524 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:08

okay lemme try again. hasn't there already been an FML like this? anyways OP sucks for you.

Reply

hrrr167 | 0

#1344948 - Friday 3 September 2010 17:44

let me explain something to you idiot. things happen more than once... so maybe that's why uve seen it more than once... duh

By rofflewaffle | 9

#1338555 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:14

I sincerely doubt you were the ONLY one nit invited. Unless you had a graduating class of like 30, you probably didn't go through and count every person who was invited. YDI for exaggerating.

Reply

rofflewaffle | 9

#1338569 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:16

not*
iPhone keyboard fail.

Reply

TheIrishJaneDoe | 8

#1339361 - Thursday 2 September 2010 17:15

Agreed. OP likely forgot someone too, and therefore wrongly assumed he was the sole exclusion.

By impatientkarma | 0

#1338586 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:21

The op is obviously lame, stop making excuses for him.

By Alesana_Love | 0

#1338589 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:22

YDI for being a loser in high school.
YDI for actually wanting to go.
YDI for not checking your Facebook
YDI for not having any friends in high school

Reply

Chris93Jones | 20

#5626338 - Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:43

don't be such a twat.

By twinkybandit | 2

#1338601 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:23

What's OP?

Reply

Alesana_Love | 0

#1338627 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:28

Orginal Poster.

Reply

Prodigy7 | 4

#1338644 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:35

That's a lie.
OP is for Oriental Penis.

Reply

KarinaLizeth18 | 5

#1338676 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:47

haha!!!

Reply

PimpdaddyCJT | 13

#1338722 - Thursday 2 September 2010 13:02

17 has got it right :P

Reply

twinkybandit | 2

#1338757 - Thursday 2 September 2010 13:08

lol that's closer to what I was thinking at first

Reply

d_ele | 0

#1338810 - Thursday 2 September 2010 13:33

17...WTFH was that? You being racist? OP sucks for you

Reply

Stupified | 0

#1338869 - Thursday 2 September 2010 14:04

28 learn to take a joke, you must be insecure Mr. B:D

Reply

Prolux_fml | 23

#5202511 - Saturday 1 December 2012 0:28

No, 17 it's for Orangutang Poop, at least that's what I was told...

By Jimboom | 11

#1338619 - Thursday 2 September 2010 12:26

Nobody just "browses" facebook. Just admit that you were trying to find other people to friend you so that you can finally hit double figures on your friends list.

Reply

roxyluv | 0

#1341603 - Friday 3 September 2010 5:29

at 14
nice one XD that actually made me laugh

Reply

Hoopachi | 19

#6277941 - Thursday 30 April 2015 13:32

You're both assholes