Miscellaneous: Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my... - FML

By anyone - 02/09/2010 04:48 - Lebanon

Today, while browsing facebook I found out that today was my school's class reunion. I was the ONLY one not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 751

You deserved it 4 480

You tried

Fake it til you make it

Anxiety

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 01:16 - United States

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 467

You deserved it 3 427

Grumpy git

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 20:01

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I'm not doing real work because I laugh during online meetings. Sorry I'm not miserable all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 66

By XxrudyxX - 12/10/2018 05:30 - Canada - Fort Saskatchewan

Today, my garage got broken into and someone stole my $3000 bike. I bought it a month ago while I recovered from a knee injury. I just got enough strength 2 days ago to ride it. I've only ridden it once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 895

You deserved it 210

In the zone

By Anonymous - 12/09/2019 20:05

Today, I was flirting with a girl I like when she confessed she was into another guy. I then proceeded to wingman for that guy, telling her to take her shot with him before the chance went away. Effectively sticking myself into the friendzone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 1 573

By thatsucks - 28/02/2009 11:10 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 285 338

You deserved it 142 527

By pianoblues - 17/10/2016 20:22 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I did a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I have experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 003

You deserved it 1 053

By Sabre777 - 17/08/2019 22:00

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 135

Valuable member of the team

By Anonymous - 21/11/2021 20:00

Today, I live an hour away from work, and asked my boss if I could work remotely as roads are closed due to a bad storm. He said no, I have to come in or lose a day's pay. I found out he is letting my coworkers work remotely and be paid. I've been with the company for 8+ years; my coworkers have been there ~2.5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 71

By earths_venus - 24/07/2010 07:44 - Australia

Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 906

You deserved it 3 589

By gali-ma - 07/02/2015 12:52 - Australia

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 428

You deserved it 3 594

Volcanic eruption

By Anonymous - 10/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 231

You deserved it 922

By wow - 14/03/2013 15:43 - United States - Gilbert

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got angry and threatened to dump me, all because I wouldn't give in to his demands not to go to a birthday sleepover with my friends. He seriously thinks it's going to turn into some kind of lesbian orgy and that I'll cheat on him. Thanks, PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 145

You deserved it 7 171

By jaa319 - 30/10/2016 06:35 - United States

Today, a customer asked for my manager's number, my bosses number, corporate's number and filled out a complaint form, all because we kindly asked him not to sit his kid on the counter due to safety concerns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 276

You deserved it 607

Right in the kidneys

By still single - 28/07/2021 22:01

Today, after spending three weeks in the hospital for a kidney infection, I found out the girl I have been dating now has a girlfriend. I guess that’s why she couldn’t visit me this whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 55

By Emma - 01/08/2011 21:29 - United States

Today, while waiting at the park for my friend, an intoxicated tramp came up to me and asked me out. After I politely declined, he snatched the phone from my hand, threw it on the ground, screamed that I was a "two-timing whore", and staggered away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 042

You deserved it 3 453

By Tweenmom - 13/04/2017 16:00

Today, my tween daughter found an exciting new book series to replace her two-year obsession with Harry Potter. Hello, Team Jacob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 679

You deserved it 532

By terrified - 18/01/2012 19:02 - United States

Today, out of habit, I said "See you later" to a creepy old male customer who stared at my chest the whole time I was serving him. His response was to wink and say, "Oh, you will." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 772

You deserved it 5 185

By FromNL - 25/03/2011 12:22 - Netherlands

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 756

You deserved it 6 614

By La Guigne - 08/04/2013 21:10 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 7 860

By nomorexbox - 26/04/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I actually heard my 14 year old son muse to himself, "If I can drive drunk in Grand Theft Auto, how hard could it be in real life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 966

You deserved it 13 429

By ohshit - 29/03/2011 00:31 - Canada

Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 249

You deserved it 8 331

By Anon - 10/03/2011 15:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 713

You deserved it 9 480

By Anonymous - 01/06/2016 11:05 - Canada - Saint-laurent

Today, I've been chronically constipated so long that I was actually grateful for the sudden blast of diarrhea that ruined my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 435

You deserved it 838

By Noname - 20/02/2009 05:30 - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 682

You deserved it 2 429

Touchy

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 20:01

Today, I found out that my paper about World War 2 has led my teacher to believe that I hate Jews. I wrote my paper about the technological advances made during the war, and made no mention of Jews. She and I are both Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 70

By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 225

You deserved it 27 512

By Asian - 07/02/2016 19:03 - United States - Clover

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 867

You deserved it 1 855

By LuckySperm - 12/08/2011 13:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 332

You deserved it 3 110

By mildlyconcussed - 10/08/2015 08:32 - Italy - Somma Vesuviana

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 583

You deserved it 1 885

By iwantaraise - 14/10/2015 01:55 - Australia

Spicy

Today, while on the job as a cop, I was breaking up a loud house party. We were just doing one final check of the house, we walked into the bathroom to find a kid furiously wanking in the bath. This isn't the first time I've seen something like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 192

You deserved it 3 039

Cheeky little bastards

By weeping_willow - 01/06/2020 08:00

Today, the kids that live down the street had a yard sale in my yard while I wasn’t home. They sold a bunch of my daughter's toys, that I now have to replace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 156

Being nice is so 1968

By Anonymous - 23/06/2017 01:00 - Saudi Arabia

Today, I decided to do something nice and compliment a stranger. I told a girl that I liked her skirt and that it looked good on her. She just rolled her eyes at me and said, "I'm not gay". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 249

You deserved it 533

By fuck my goddamn life - 15/02/2014 20:51 - United States

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 470

You deserved it 4 819

By nerd - 03/03/2009 03:20 - United States

Today, I got a call from my friend who invited me to a theme party. It was a goth theme, and I decided to get real into it. I put on a trench coat, black skin tight pants, and black paint under the eyes. When I got there I was greeted by a kid in a pink popped collar. It wasn't a theme party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 060

You deserved it 7 690

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 22:00

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 994

By grossed out - 25/03/2013 18:25 - United Kingdom - Peterborough

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 569

You deserved it 7 472

By desertboi69 - 16/03/2019 16:00 - United States - Ridgecrest

Today, I was preparing my raw meat with tire grease. Literally. My girlfriend replaced my teriyaki sauce with tire grease, because, she later told me, she had sex with my best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 436

You deserved it 201

Brotherly love

By I Hate My Brother - 09/10/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, I'm in hospital because of my brother. He followed me and my boyfriend around a fair yesterday dressed as a gorilla, and whenever we showed some sort of affection towards one another, he rugby tackled me. The final tackle caused me to break my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 872

You deserved it 177

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 14:08 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 887

You deserved it 6 755

Not really a good sign

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 02:01

Today, my long distance girlfriend of 6 months, who landed in canada last week, and for whom I was supposed to travel from Toronto to Vancouver next week to meet her for the first time, blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 151

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Thursday 2 September 2010 16:19

I'm disappointed by the extremely hurtful comments posted here about the OP. Have none of you been lonely before? Do you not know what empathy means? Not every unpopular person is a mean-hearted Scrooge; some are very nice but lack the social skills necessary to make friends.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:35

That's a lie. OP is for Oriental Penis.

Comments

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:04

FIRST.

impatientkarma 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:04

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:27

i agree with 1

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:48

maybe they forgot you or u werent in the school records

cOOkiEzRgOOd 22

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:50

how did nobody reply to ones comment in 6 hrs? most people do in 6 min???

PimpdaddyCJT 13

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:57

wow that sucks

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Thursday 2 September 2010 13:56

aw, that sucks ...

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Thursday 2 September 2010 15:01

Maybe your significant other, assuming you have one, is embarrassed of you and promptly destroyed the invitation upon receiving it to save himself. Or you're just a loser.

fable_fayebee 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 17:00

maybe no one really liked you in high school :)

bigredmonkeybutt 25

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Thursday 2 September 2010 18:17

Wow. Not only does your entire hs class hate you but so does the reunion service most schools use to organize their reunions. Sucks to be you. YDI

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Thursday 2 September 2010 19:08

your parents are stupid

AbsoluteTurtle 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 21:38

most of the time even losers show up #1 so thats not it. he/shes probably a douchebag/bitch.

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Friday 3 September 2010 2:39

YDI for a) being a loser b) being a douche bag c) being annoying or d) all of the above

Ninjasaurus18 9

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Thursday 21 June 2012 1:27

Or an asshole, that was mean to everyone but liked to play the role of 'loser with no friends, and a bad home life' so they never got caught.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:05

WTF NOW IT WONT LET ME POST MY REAL COMMENT. 

KarinaLizeth18 5

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:08

hahahha sukker congrats on first though xD I just got first too :D

KarinaLizeth18 5

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:14

hey man wth happened to our firsts?!?! 

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Thursday 2 September 2010 14:33

:O 

sexy_chick_123 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 19:30

I think they get deleted for saying first or even second or third.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:07

Your a fag

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:08

okay lemme try again. hasn't there already been an FML like this? anyways OP sucks for you.

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Friday 3 September 2010 17:44

let me explain something to you idiot. things happen more than once... so maybe that's why uve seen it more than once... duh

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:14

I sincerely doubt you were the ONLY one nit invited. Unless you had a graduating class of like 30, you probably didn't go through and count every person who was invited. YDI for exaggerating.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:16

not* iPhone keyboard fail.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

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Thursday 2 September 2010 17:15

Agreed. OP likely forgot someone too, and therefore wrongly assumed he was the sole exclusion.

impatientkarma 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:21

The op is obviously lame, stop making excuses for him.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:22

YDI for being a loser in high school. YDI for actually wanting to go. YDI for not checking your Facebook YDI for not having any friends in high school

Chris93Jones 20

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Tuesday 13 August 2013 23:43

don't be such a twat.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:23

What's OP?

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:28

Orginal Poster.

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:35

That's a lie. OP is for Oriental Penis.

KarinaLizeth18 5

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:47

haha!!!

PimpdaddyCJT 13

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Thursday 2 September 2010 13:02

17 has got it right :P

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Thursday 2 September 2010 13:08

lol that's closer to what I was thinking at first

d_ele 0

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Thursday 2 September 2010 13:33

17...WTFH was that? You being racist? OP sucks for you

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Thursday 2 September 2010 14:04

28 learn to take a joke, you must be insecure Mr. B:D

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Saturday 1 December 2012 0:28

No, 17 it's for Orangutang Poop, at least that's what I was told...

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Thursday 2 September 2010 12:26

Nobody just "browses" facebook. Just admit that you were trying to find other people to friend you so that you can finally hit double figures on your friends list.

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Friday 3 September 2010 5:29

at 14 nice one XD that actually made me laugh

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Thursday 30 April 2015 13:32

You're both assholes

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 6

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 38

Today, my daughter finally learned that you can’t sleep your way to success, after she tried and failed to seduce her married boss, was sacked, and blacklisted as a potential lawsuit throughout every company specialising in her chosen career field. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 186