Work: Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 22:46 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 117

You deserved it 1 238

Music nerds of the world unite!

Bigmouth Strikes Again

Phone call anxiety

By fiendishkitty - 20/09/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, six years after hurricane Katrina took everything from me, I received a letter in the mail from FEMA telling me that I have to repay them the money I received to replace what was lost. I have 30 days to repay $4,900 or the case will be sent into federal debt collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 808

You deserved it 4 091

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 333

You deserved it 17 950

By Anonymous - 28/09/2012 14:25 - United States - Lawndale

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 544

You deserved it 2 641

By Yazzy - 13/02/2009 09:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 720

You deserved it 7 918

By licensed_ginger - 08/01/2015 18:44 - United States - Barberton

Today, my boyfriend told me he didn't feel attractive. I tried to cheer him up by telling him that I find him very attractive, and so do my friends. He said that didn't matter, because my friends and I aren't attractive either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 378

You deserved it 4 335

By mexicandelicacy - 04/03/2012 03:09 - United States

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 6 239

By cupcake_butt - 17/10/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, my 28-year-old brother who has been pranking me all my life, put a chocolate cupcake on my chair. I sat on it, with my white dress. On my wedding day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 990

You deserved it 4 378

Time to pretend

By fmeplease - 31/05/2009 21:10 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 134

You deserved it 12 709

Not cool

By ash203 - 12/12/2009 21:38 - United States

Spicy

Today, my friend and I got really drunk at the holiday staff party. When I went to work afterwards, everyone gave me the death stare. Apparently, I got so drunk that I flashed my boss's 13-year-old son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 277

You deserved it 50 080

By that guy - 24/05/2012 16:41 - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 838

You deserved it 2 281

By pissedchick - 07/08/2019 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 819

You deserved it 117

By Theboredone - 29/03/2018 19:00

Today, after a week on bed rest in a cast after ankle surgery, I got so bored and lonely I agreed to do an hour-long government phone survey just to have someone to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 728

You deserved it 372

Can't filter that

By Weightlosshereicome - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Oxford

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 659

You deserved it 4 601

Silver linings

By 10 years, 0 dates - 28/11/2020 11:03

Today, I wanted to ask out this cute girl I used to work with. Before I could, she said she likes my only friend there, and asked if could I set them up. Trying to be nice guy and good friend, I did. Then she made her complete lack of interest in me obvious. But hey, at least the gay guy she hung out with thought I was cute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 113

By BIZZMAL - 05/01/2011 02:44 - United States

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 274

You deserved it 32 526

By Anonymous - 02/07/2013 23:16 - United States - Mcdonough

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 235

You deserved it 12 819

Broken equipment

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 07:08 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 463

You deserved it 409

By f*ck - 02/05/2012 16:22 - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 282

You deserved it 97 865

By kaitlin - 19/02/2010 06:30 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 019

You deserved it 4 348

By thanks sis - 22/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Reading

Today, my sister asked me to grab her some toilet paper. I refused, so she grabbed my favorite shirt out of the laundry basket and used it to wipe. I was busy icing my sprained ankle. I couldn't walk. She knew this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 672

You deserved it 3 943

By justmyluck - 12/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 414

You deserved it 4 859

By bitten - 15/05/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 006

You deserved it 2 765

By Anonymous - 21/12/2010 08:03 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 110

You deserved it 6 849

Put your back into it

By FaronKee - 18/12/2020 00:56 - United Kingdom

Today, for the first time in 2 years I was able to clean my kitchen, because my back pain has stopped me looking after myself. When I stopped cleaning, my pain was so bad, all I could do was lay flat in bed. Not even my pain meds could help. My kitchen is still not completely clean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 614

You deserved it 405

By Username - 15/06/2011 05:07 - United States

Today, a car hit me while I was in a crosswalk. The driver jumped out of her car and stepped over me to check her car for damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 3 108

By scheisse - 14/07/2013 21:25 - Germany - Herne

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 291

You deserved it 67 403

By Anonymous - 09/04/2013 10:29 - France - Paris

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 10 606

By Fitz - 05/05/2009 12:22 - United States

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184 563

You deserved it 14 227

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 387

You deserved it 3 153

Gross

By clips - 16/02/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 882

You deserved it 2 582

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 03:42 - United States

Today, I brought a cupcake to school for my friend's birthday. After taking one bite, she exclaimed that it was the worst thing she had ever tasted and that we should sue the store that I bought it from. I baked it myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 470

You deserved it 5 411

By whatislife1969 - 08/10/2017 04:30

Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 405

You deserved it 4 744

By anonymous - 04/09/2016 22:12 - United States - Morristown

Today, I discovered that in the three days I left my 18-year-old son in charge, my dog had gotten pregnant. When I confronted my son about it, he stated, "I don't want the reputation of being a cock-blocker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 805

You deserved it 4 040

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 339

You deserved it 200

For what occasion

By Single Sally - 01/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Brandon

Today, my boyfriend of five years finally gave me "a ring." Oh no, not an "engagement ring." He gave me a "ring to apologize for sleeping with his married coworker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 429

You deserved it 169

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 20:51 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 053

You deserved it 17 511

Smooth talker

By pixie - 17/02/2009 08:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex for the first time with a guy. After he passionately made love to me, I turned to him and said, "You smell really good." He turned to me and said, "You don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 716

You deserved it 13 720

By dumpedtaco - 18/02/2018 19:00

Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 789

You deserved it 356

By singlegirl - 27/11/2009 18:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 488

You deserved it 3 093

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Top comments

TheNoNameGuy 20

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours. LMAO

Comments

TheNoNameGuy 20

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

gamermonster 34

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Monday 21 March 2016 16:20

I think wearing OP on your head would be to heavy... *drowns in sarcasm*

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

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Monday 21 March 2016 22:05

Err.... If you think she would wear an asshat to keep her hair from getting wet, I am thinking we must have different ideas on which hair she got done... (I am obviously joking ?)

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24

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Monday 21 March 2016 22:06

My apologies, I meant to type an exclamation point instead of a question mark.

taylorbrown97 23

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

The worst part of working in customer or guest services is dealing with thoughtless, entitled people. I feel for you.

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Guess she wasn't thirsty... Oops

A07 48

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:46

That makes no sense whatsoever

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Monday 21 March 2016 21:39

Made sense in the morning... Guess I was still half asleep.

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours. LMAO

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:10

Why the hell was she at a waterpark if she spent that much time getting her hair ready? unless the wedding was at the waterpark but that wouldn't make much sense.

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Monday 21 March 2016 15:51

That would be awesome!

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Monday 21 March 2016 16:29

I'd love to have a wedding at a water park

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Monday 18 April 2016 20:44

If I got a dollar for every question like yours I'd be rich. But no, I haven't got a clue why she was there and why she thought it would be a wonderful idea to come to water park -.- And yeah that sounds like an awesome idea!

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:11

Why would she be at a water park when she is getting ready for a wedding?

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Monday 18 April 2016 20:46

If I had a clue why she was here during that day. I would let you know in a heartbeat because her thinking would be god damn hilarious

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:18

I wouldn't worry, if the other customers also heard why she called you a "pathetic asshat" they would likely come to the conclusion that she was wrong and/or stupid.

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:19

I would have responded sucks to be you, what did expect at a WATER PARK!!!

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Monday 21 March 2016 15:33

Yeah but some people have to keep there job

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Monday 21 March 2016 15:41

But you have to earn respect

askullnamedbilly 33

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Monday 21 March 2016 17:14

If respect paid your bills, no one would voluntarily work in customer service jobs.

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Monday 21 March 2016 20:39

Hello Power Company, I would like to pay my bill. I have R400. Sorry we don't accept respect as payment.

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Monday 21 March 2016 14:34

what a moron

Mpii 11

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Monday 21 March 2016 15:03

Don't you know op, it's YOUR fault for being an employee there. And since it's your fault it's suddenly sociqlly acceptable to cuss you out for some reason. Seriously some people need to pipe down....

Nearly

Today, I realized that I wore ripped jeand AND ripped boxers to work. Both ripped at the same place, in between the legs. The result was my looking down and seeing my dick halfway out of my trousers. I can't get up from my seat the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 5

Today, my maid sat me down to tell me that she doesn’t like it when me and my partner fight. We don’t like each other anymore and I keep trying to break up with him, but he won’t let me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I'm on day 11 of having COVID. My husband said to me, "I hope you get better soon so we can finally have sex again." Thanks for being concerned about MY health and wellbeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 129

Today, I realized why my boyfriend drove me to his “favorite” hospital about one agonizing hour away while I was in labor. His friend who's a nurse worked there. Or should I say, his side chick. He made out with her in the room while I was “sleeping” after giving birth to our first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 315

You deserved it 96