Work: Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained... - FML

By Anonymous - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

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This Charming Man

Season finale

Sorry grandma

By Username - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

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By sosoram - United States - Victorville

Today, I learned that the gentleman that found my wallet was not satisfied with the $300 cash and forged a check for a washer and dryer. I found out when I checked my account. It cleared. FML

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By probablyadopted1 - United States - Houston

Today, my family savagely mocked me to the point of tears, all for using "big", "fancy" words like "accommodations" and "hospitality". FML

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By coop42 - United States - Hortonville

Today, my boyfriend was playing with my hair, when his hand got caught. He ended up ripping out a handful of hair trying to get it free. FML

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By possibly fucked - Portugal - Lisbon

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

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By whiskey'swino

Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML

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By probably on death row soon - United States - Winter Park

Thanks, "Bro"

Today, my brother "pranked" me by dropping my new laptop out my bedroom window. He'd set up a saran wrap safety net below to catch my laptop safely, but he didn't secure it well enough. My laptop is completely fucked and he won't accept responsibility because he didn't mean to break it. FML

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By therealkathl - Austria

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

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By Anonymous

Evil will always win

Today, I tried to suspend a junior accountant for turning up to work late and stoned 3 separate times. Turns out his uncle is a part owner of the business, so the accountant got to smile his smug little grin as I got yelled at for not minding my own business. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the guy I liked how I felt by making him a mixed CD. Confident, I gave it to him. After class, I went to the trash can to throw some paper away. I saw my mixed CD in the trash. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

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By my back hurts - Australia - Campbelltown

Today, I spent a large portion of the afternoon playing hide and seek with the door-to-door salesman who saw me sneak in the back door and won't stop knocking. No amount of hiding behind the couch will make him go away. FML

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By DallasGal - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

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By Michael - 14/10/2020 23:02 - United States - Kearny

Stahp!

Today, I had to babysit my dying grandmother, so I brought up my guitar. She hadn't said anything to anyone today, and the first thing and only thing she said was, "Stop. Make it stop" to me when I played. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

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By ana9 - France

Today, my mother bought me Mickey Mouse shaped burgers for my dinner. I'm 19. FML

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By unknown - Canada

Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML

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By Peekaman - United States

Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in front of me. Then, the train stopped abruptly and I banged my head. The girl was gone and I realized it had all been a dream. Then I realized I was supposed to get off 17 stops ago. FML

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By Downanout

Today, I found out I did so horrible during my interview that I didn’t even get a rejection email. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, a crying kid was brought to my attention by a customer. He was so upset from losing his mom that he couldn't say his name or his moms name. I took him around the store asking him to point out his mom. Once we found her she told me "I was hiding from my kid to test his independence." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

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By TheStudentNurse

Today, I got bitten at work. Not by a patient's mouth, but by the false teeth they were holding in their hand as they clamped down on my arm. FML

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By Undercooked - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my girlfriend made bacon sandwiches for lunch. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help but mention that the bacon smelled and tasted weird. I thought it may have expired. She said not to worry because she used the dry bacon under the counter. Those were dog treats. FML

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By noooooooo - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I was dancing with an incredibly sexy man at a club. He was grinding on me when he leaned over and said, "If I was straight, I would make you my queen." FML

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By Dear God Why

Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML

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By BadBreath - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

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By sdeeter - United States

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

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By firstdate - United States

Today, I was on my first date with my crush. When I saw her, I greeted her with, "Hey, sweetheart." She's convinced I said, "Hey, retard." FML

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By Anonymous - France

Classy

Today, I've got two family members over to stay. So far, I have found a dirty Q-Tip, a nasty toe nail and had to clean up period blood from toilets, bin, and the floor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

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By WasteOfOxygen08

Crockery story

Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML

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By simon - Canada

Today, I moved into university residence, looking forward to finally being able to come out of the closet. I started chatting with the hot guy moving in next door to me. He said I was cool, and he was glad because he was afraid he'd be living next to a gay guy. FML

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By joe1234 - United States

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to put a pretzel on my forehead while I was sleeping on the beach. I now have a pretzel-shaped tan line in the middle of my head. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

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By SwAGkiLlS - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

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By surprise - United States

Today, I was getting ready to go to a surprise party I'd planned for my best friend. All was going well on the discretion part until I logged onto Facebook. I saw that my sister had set her status to, "At Natalie's surprise party! BBL!" Natalie had liked it. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I arrived at the house we rented for my sister's engagement party. I was also told that I have to sleep in the most cramped bedroom with my uncle who sounds like a mortally wounded warthog when he snores. I paid for the rental. FML

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By dkajxu - Singapore

Today, while studying in the middle of the night, my dad came home drunk. I helped him to the sofa and after clearing up his mess, he started going on about how useless my sister Vanessa was, and how good a daughter I am. I am Vanessa. FML

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Top comments

By TheNoNameGuy | 20

#6563937 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

By Grisha_fml | 18

#6563944 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours.
LMAO

COMMENTS

By TheNoNameGuy | 20

#6563937 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

Reply

gamermonster | 34

#6564054 - Monday 21 March 2016 16:20

I think wearing OP on your head would be to heavy...

*drowns in sarcasm*

Reply

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 | 24

#6564328 - Monday 21 March 2016 22:05

Err.... If you think she would wear an asshat to keep her hair from getting wet, I am thinking we must have different ideas on which hair she got done...

(I am obviously joking ?)

Reply

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 | 24

#6564332 - Monday 21 March 2016 22:06

My apologies, I meant to type an exclamation point instead of a question mark.

By taylorbrown97 | 23

#6563938 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

The worst part of working in customer or guest services is dealing with thoughtless, entitled people. I feel for you.

By AyeJay101 | 25

#6563939 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Guess she wasn't thirsty... Oops

Reply

A07 | 48

#6563983 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:46

That makes no sense whatsoever

Reply

AyeJay101 | 25

#6564316 - Monday 21 March 2016 21:39

Made sense in the morning... Guess I was still half asleep.

By Grisha_fml | 18

#6563944 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours.
LMAO

By LPac5295 | 27

#6563945 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:10

Why the hell was she at a waterpark if she spent that much time getting her hair ready? unless the wedding was at the waterpark but that wouldn't make much sense.

Reply

MidnaLink | 32

#6564029 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:51

That would be awesome!

Reply

GrainHauler | 9

#6564067 - Monday 21 March 2016 16:29

I'd love to have a wedding at a water park

Reply

WPMorons | 6

#6583092 - Monday 18 April 2016 20:44

If I got a dollar for every question like yours I'd be rich. But no, I haven't got a clue why she was there and why she thought it would be a wonderful idea to come to water park -.-

And yeah that sounds like an awesome idea!

By ThatLastKid | 21

#6563946 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:11

Why would she be at a water park when she is getting ready for a wedding?

Reply

WPMorons | 6

#6583095 - Monday 18 April 2016 20:46

If I had a clue why she was here during that day. I would let you know in a heartbeat because her thinking would be god damn hilarious

By Danne696 | 14

#6563955 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:18

I wouldn't worry, if the other customers also heard why she called you a "pathetic asshat" they would likely come to the conclusion that she was wrong and/or stupid.

By Tomryan279 | 10

#6563957 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:19

I would have responded sucks to be you, what did expect at a WATER PARK!!!

Reply

jimeple | 12

#6564011 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:33

Yeah but some people have to keep there job

Reply

Tomryan279 | 10

#6564019 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:41

But you have to earn respect

Reply

askullnamedbilly | 33

#6564103 - Monday 21 March 2016 17:14

If respect paid your bills, no one would voluntarily work in customer service jobs.

Reply

derperbear | 8

#6564267 - Monday 21 March 2016 20:39

Hello Power Company, I would like to pay my bill. I have R400.

Sorry we don't accept respect as payment.

By hipposteve | 21

#6563968 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:34

what a moron

By Mpii | 11

#6563991 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:03

Don't you know op, it's YOUR fault for being an employee there. And since it's your fault it's suddenly sociqlly acceptable to cuss you out for some reason.

Seriously some people need to pipe down....