Work: Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained... - FML

By Anonymous - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, while at work I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending 2 hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

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Rock, hard place

Poisoned chalice

On a leash

By sad-sexed - Australia

Today, I was lying on my bed with my boyfriend. I didn't really want to have sex so I told him I would if he really wanted too, but I wouldn't enjoy it. He then started to undo my pants. FML

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By crappy_day - United States

Today, as I went to the bathroom in a port-a-potty at a park, I forgot to lock the door. A little girl opens the door and then slams it right away. As she walked away I heard her say "no, there's a man in there". I'm a woman. FML

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By cats before idiots

Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML

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By worker666 - United States

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

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By The Drew - United States

Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML

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By Yudansha - Canada

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

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By GopherJR - Canada

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

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By invasive species

Today, my step-mom tried to ground me. I met her just yesterday, when she moved in. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I had an anxiety attack just from thinking about appearing on TV and being watched by a real audience. FML

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By lobstercola - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

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By parisite - France

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

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By weddingsalwayssuck - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

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By lk07

Today, I got severe diarrhea in a public bathroom. I told my 6-year-old to stand directly outside the stall where I can see her shoes. She proceeded to inform everyone who came in that "Mommy has diarrhea." FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Toledo

Today, while working as a manager at a restaurant, the "All employees must wash hands" sign in the bathroom was stolen. Now my employees won't wash their hands because they "don't have to." FML

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By Female Struggles - United States - Denver

Today, while I was waiting at the bus stop, a car that looked like my mom's pulled up. Thinking it was actually her, I walked up and jokingly asked what she was into. The guy inside now thinks that I'm a prostitute. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go out and that I'd be back later. He asked where I was going. "To see my other boyfriend," I chuckled, smiling. He took it seriously and wouldn't believe it was just a joke. I'm pretty sure I'm now single. FML

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By Anonymous - 21/9/2020 13:58

My new friend

Today, I realized at the train station that every day for a month, I've been waving to a cardboard cut-out of a person in the morning. I thought they were real. They're cardboard. FML

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By sweet92 - United States

Today, I went to a store to buy pants for a new job. A really hot guy helped me get a pair down from a high shelf so I could try them on. He had flirted with me so I hurried in the fitting room so I could go talk to him. Note to self: Check to see if you have pants on after trying on clothes. FML

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By Backinzi - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

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By Ali - United States - Kailua Kona

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

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By misc - United States

Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML

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By notonasoccertam - 6/9/2020 10:09 - United States

Harsh

Today, I made my school's soccer team. I told the coach that since I have diabetes, I might need to sit out occasionally. He promptly erased my name and said he didn't accept "slackers." FML

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By aroman2312 - United States

Today, my grandpa decided to charcoal-grill some steaks. Inside the house. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Brandon

Today, at Walmart, I overheard a lady telling a teenage girl that the secret to keeping a guy for life is giving him anal, but that it's important to clean your "shitter" beforehand. I can't believe these kinds of sick freaks actually exist. FML

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By krissysays - United States

Today, I heard on the news that the average debt one is in when they graduate college is $24,000. I've been in college for one year and my debt is already $20,000. And it turns out that my school's accreditation does not exist like I was told. $20,000 in debt and no college credits to show for it. FML

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By Cat vs. Dog - United States - Laramie

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

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By FML - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Montpelier

Today, I had to explain to my 35-year-old husband that "Honda" and "Hyundai" are two separate car companies, not to two different pronunciations of the same one. FML

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By KillahCam - United States

Today, my ten year-old brother told me that his thirteen year-old friend took one of my bras and two pairs of my underwear a few weeks ago. Apparently he took them out of my room, put them on, and has been sleeping with them ever since. He's coming to give them back tomorrow. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Round Rock

Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that if you walk up to a hobo by your car pooping, they will chase you yelling, "Get out of my bathroom!" FML

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By Matt - United States

Today, I was late for the bus. I chased after it for 3 blocks until I realized that the bus driver was laughing at me trying to catch her. FML

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By Tgreject - United States

Today, I was planning on asking out a girl I've been really close to for a few months now. I was with her when I got a forward text from my friend. It was from the girl and it said "noooo tell him not to ask me out I don't like him." I got rejected via forward text before I told her how I felt. FML

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By slavelaborsux - United States

Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML

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By "Sam Fazackerley"

What a shame!

Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet while sitting on it using the phone, I have a stomach bug and diarrhea. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

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By miss Suzanne - United States

Today, I got a brand new couch. My husband told me to keep our puppy off of it so we could keep it nice. She jumped on it, and as I picked her up to put her back on the floor, her claws dragged across it and ripped 2 of the cushions. FML

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By Flandre

Today, I gave over $100 to my online friend in presents for Christmas, only to find out he can't use any because of his strict parents. FML

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By ouch - United States - Sioux City

Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML

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Top comments

By TheNoNameGuy | 20

#6563937 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

By Grisha_fml | 18

#6563944 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours.
LMAO

COMMENTS

By TheNoNameGuy | 20

#6563937 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Fyl OP. She should've worn an asshat if she didn't want her hair wet at a water park.

Reply

gamermonster | 34

#6564054 - Monday 21 March 2016 16:20

I think wearing OP on your head would be to heavy...

*drowns in sarcasm*

Reply

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 | 24

#6564328 - Monday 21 March 2016 22:05

Err.... If you think she would wear an asshat to keep her hair from getting wet, I am thinking we must have different ideas on which hair she got done...

(I am obviously joking ?)

Reply

IDontKnowWhoIAm04 | 24

#6564332 - Monday 21 March 2016 22:06

My apologies, I meant to type an exclamation point instead of a question mark.

By taylorbrown97 | 23

#6563938 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

The worst part of working in customer or guest services is dealing with thoughtless, entitled people. I feel for you.

By AyeJay101 | 25

#6563939 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:02

Guess she wasn't thirsty... Oops

Reply

A07 | 48

#6563983 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:46

That makes no sense whatsoever

Reply

AyeJay101 | 25

#6564316 - Monday 21 March 2016 21:39

Made sense in the morning... Guess I was still half asleep.

By Grisha_fml | 18

#6563944 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:07

you shouldn't be at a waterpark if your hairdo takes 2 hours.
LMAO

By LPac5295 | 27

#6563945 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:10

Why the hell was she at a waterpark if she spent that much time getting her hair ready? unless the wedding was at the waterpark but that wouldn't make much sense.

Reply

MidnaLink | 32

#6564029 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:51

That would be awesome!

Reply

GrainHauler | 9

#6564067 - Monday 21 March 2016 16:29

I'd love to have a wedding at a water park

Reply

WPMorons | 6

#6583092 - Monday 18 April 2016 20:44

If I got a dollar for every question like yours I'd be rich. But no, I haven't got a clue why she was there and why she thought it would be a wonderful idea to come to water park -.-

And yeah that sounds like an awesome idea!

By ThatLastKid | 21

#6563946 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:11

Why would she be at a water park when she is getting ready for a wedding?

Reply

WPMorons | 6

#6583095 - Monday 18 April 2016 20:46

If I had a clue why she was here during that day. I would let you know in a heartbeat because her thinking would be god damn hilarious

By Danne696 | 14

#6563955 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:18

I wouldn't worry, if the other customers also heard why she called you a "pathetic asshat" they would likely come to the conclusion that she was wrong and/or stupid.

By Tomryan279 | 10

#6563957 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:19

I would have responded sucks to be you, what did expect at a WATER PARK!!!

Reply

jimeple | 12

#6564011 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:33

Yeah but some people have to keep there job

Reply

Tomryan279 | 10

#6564019 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:41

But you have to earn respect

Reply

askullnamedbilly | 33

#6564103 - Monday 21 March 2016 17:14

If respect paid your bills, no one would voluntarily work in customer service jobs.

Reply

derperbear | 8

#6564267 - Monday 21 March 2016 20:39

Hello Power Company, I would like to pay my bill. I have R400.

Sorry we don't accept respect as payment.

By hipposteve | 21

#6563968 - Monday 21 March 2016 14:34

what a moron

By Mpii | 11

#6563991 - Monday 21 March 2016 15:03

Don't you know op, it's YOUR fault for being an employee there. And since it's your fault it's suddenly sociqlly acceptable to cuss you out for some reason.

Seriously some people need to pipe down....