Work: Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone,... - FML

By breadcrumb - United States - Kansas City

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

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Triage

Walk on the wild side

Mother of the year

By got any coupons? - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of six years. She got mad at me, saying she is too young to get married and that I was trying to ruin her career. She is 32 and works part-time at a grocery store. FML

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By Anonymous - France - Brunoy

Irrational

Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML

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By GetOutOfMyHouseLoser - United States

Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML

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By Nemo

Today, I got an e-mail from a company saying that I would not be a good fit for them. Strangely, it's quite similar to an e-mail they sent me last month. And the month before. They aren't generated e-mails, each one is different. They just e-mail me every month to remind me that I suck. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML

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By loserman67

Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I went to the phone store to get a new SIM card. The store manager went on my browser to see if my data was working. Two pages of porn popped up. FML

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By Lena - United States

Today, I got a small scar on my faced removed at a plastic surgeon's. Afterward, I told my mom that losing the scar felt weird, like I lost something that gave me character. My mom replied, "Don't worry, you have plenty of other flaws to give you character." FML

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By RustyBulletHole - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was watching my 2-year-old sister in the bathtub. As she was splashing, she stopped, and pointed at the "owie" on my head. I told her it was okay, and that it was just a pimple. She said, "Wow, you have a lot of pimples!" FML

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By tiffylueg

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

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By Skidaddle123 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to switch my glass of coke with a glass of pure vinegar. FML

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By sad face - Australia - Chatswood

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

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By unlucky - South Africa

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

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By Anonymous - Israel - Petah Tiqwa

Today, I was showing the Instagram of my crush to my cousin. He double-tapped the picture, thinking it would zoom it in. It was posted 5 months ago. FML

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By howannoying - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

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By BrokeStudentTryingToDoSomethingNice

Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all the post and gifts they have been sending her. For a special birthday / Christmas, I'd splurged on an expensive, interactive mystery game where you are mailed clues over the course of 6 months. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML

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By szechuansauce

Today, my nine-year-old niece found my coloring book that features swear words. I took it away and hid it in a different spot. No less than an hour later, her younger sister found it. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

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By joanne - United States

Today, I found a video of a school play I starred in years ago. I was ecstatic, because it's really the only memento of my childhood I have left. Unfortunately, it started with my grandpa groaning, "Ahh shit," and degenerated into him muttering over the audio about "those fucking commies." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, it was the first day after my promotion. Everyone, including myself, was shocked that I was promoted so quickly. I figured it was because of all the hard work and overtime I'd put in. However, my coworkers figure I'm just sleeping with the boss, and constantly glare and snicker behind my back. FML

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By Eliana - 6/5/2021 14:01

Burning up

Today, my left eye is bright red and painful. Also, I have pimples all over my genitals. Spoiler alert: it's herpes. The eye? A bacterial eye infection. Welcome to a week of pain. FML

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By niii - France

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

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By Alex Xavier

False Advertising

Today, after getting married recently and my wife making a ton of promises about "things" we'd do, she admitted she won't do any of them and said I should just accept that she lied. FML

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By ididntdoanythingaight - United States

Today, I got engaged to my boyfriend of three years. I made the announcement on my status on facebook so people would congratulate me. The only response I got about my engagement was from a girl I knew saying; "Umm, he didn't tell you he was cheating on you for three years with me?" FML

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By Anonymous - Mexico - Ensenada

Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML

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By stubble - Canada

Today, I had to meet my mother. Being a college student, I decided I was too lazy to shave this morning. She noticed the stubble on my face, and started crying because I'm growing up. I'm 23 years old. My dad yelled at me for making my mom cry. FML

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By Shoeless - United States

Today, after I drank way too much, my friend pulled the car over so I could throw up. Next to my pile of puke was a discarded shoe that looked remarkably like one from my favorite pair. When I got home, I realized that my left shoe was missing. FML

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By awkward - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a friend's "party". Everyone bailed but my friend didn't say anything, so it's just me and my girl. The train tickets alone cost £20. FML

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By klsdhjla - United States

Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML

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By it's v - United States - Denver

Today, after my flight arrived late, I ran 60 gates to get my connecting flight. I sprinted up to the gate agent, completely out of breath, and he looked at me, shut the door, and said, “The door is shut. You’re too late.” FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

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By QuinnyZebrass - United States - Laveen

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

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By snottyface - United States

Today, I was trying to sneak up my husband while he was playing a computer game. As I was getting behind the chair, he paused the game and sat up straight. I stopped. He turned around and sneezed violently and blew a bunch of snot into my face and eyes. FML

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By CorpDrone - United States

Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML

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By Look's like she's paying all of it now.

Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards and my monthly pay check was in that purse. FML

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By hungry n hypoglycemic - 6/1/2021 17:01

We live in a society!

Today, after standing in line for most of my lunch break just to buy food, some asshole with a cart full of stuff cut in front of me. He claimed that he was there the whole time, and the whole line, plus the cashier backed him up. I missed lunch. FML

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By ANONYMOUS -_- - United States - Providence

My ears!

Today, I had to go tree shopping with my dad and some of his work buddies. It hit its lowest point when one loudly told us about a crap handjob he got recently. "I mean yeah, choke the cock," he said, "but don't choke it to DEATH, nam'sayin'?" I'd never wanted to just drop dead more. FML

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Top comments

By mds9986 | 24

#6342301 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:49

Sounds more like he was just bored and trolling you. Then again, human stupidity has surprised me in the past.

By Idiotskillme | 20

#6342305 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:50

Stupid is as stupid does, OP. He obviously hasn't been taught manners

COMMENTS

By mds9986 | 24

#6342301 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:49

Sounds more like he was just bored and trolling you. Then again, human stupidity has surprised me in the past.

Reply

jadenjacksonm | 14

#6342481 - Monday 6 July 2015 21:01

Never seems to fail to do so has it?

By Benmantha | 31

#6342304 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:50

"The customer is always right."

Reply

Miss_Chevious | 37

#6342310 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:52

Or unbelievably stupid.

Reply

Way2Fast8 | 20

#6342338 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:06

Sometimes people just act unnecessarily like dicks

Reply

KawaiiPinkie | 11

#6342812 - Tuesday 7 July 2015 2:29

The customer is always right, even when they are wrong, they are right.
But then you also have the times where they are just wrong and no matter how you look at it, they just can't be right.

By Idiotskillme | 20

#6342305 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:50

Stupid is as stupid does, OP. He obviously hasn't been taught manners

By abbyade | 21

#6342306 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:50

Well he didn't deserve to be served anyway with that attitude. I hope he didn't get you in trouble and you were able to serve the other customers with no trouble. Some people are just weird

By danceinconverse | 25

#6342308 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:51

I really hope he hasn't "bread".

People like that are why we can't have nice things.

By katertott | 44

#6342313 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:52

At least he left of his own accord and didn't continue to hold people up for much longer. That could have turned ugly.

By PenguinBitch | 43

#6342322 - Monday 6 July 2015 18:56

I hope he didn't linger long enough to infect the other customers with the Stupid.

By A07 | 48

#6342337 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:05

People like these are the reason why employees need to be allowed to refuse people service without getting told off or laid off by their managers, Sorry OP, there's no known cure for stupid, yet.

By suckceed | 17

#6342343 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:11

So instead of answering his question, you just said we have 'many kinds'. Would it not have been better to do your job and list the types you had, so he could pick one and go on his merry way?

Reply

jenjen2633 | 17

#6342344 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:14

Op said that the customer cut them off when saying "we have many different kinds". It is possible op was going to then list the various kinds of bread they had.

Reply

vreid | 20

#6342345 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:15

Notice how he said "then he cut me off" as in "we have many different kinds" was a prelude to the long list he was about to give

Reply

PenguinBitch | 43

#6342351 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:19

#11 sounds like one of those people who would always "need to speak to the manager" regarding some simple shit.

Reply

wheelchairchick | 11

#6342426 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:58

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

Reply

brand125 | 17

#6342496 - Monday 6 July 2015 21:16

do you people not read? the op was cut off before they had a chance to tell them what kinds of bread they had, they were obviously going to. jeeze dumbass...

By whitnayfortooh | 29

#6342346 - Monday 6 July 2015 19:15

some fucking people