By realitybites - 08/07/2013 17:03 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML
I agree, your life sucks 64 014
You deserved it 7 306

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pwnman 33

You could have said that having sex with him caused the problems!

What would make him think it was about him?


pwnman 33

You could have said that having sex with him caused the problems!

Well you can't blame him for trying

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acerredrum 23

Unless you don't want one or aren't ready for one in which case a baby is a problem.

42: I think.that being a week overdue is a problem, though.

asnakelovinbabe 16

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81, save it for your novel. Too many words for the lazy fml community


Although it's way too long winded, she does have a point. She just didn't need the personal anecdotes to make it much easier on the eyes

asnakelovinbabe 16

It's ok guys. I am an extremely fast typer and my responses always tend to be long winded. I am a very overly specific person and I can't help it. I knew I would get down voted... BUT... The day I am worried about how many thumbs I get on an FML comment is the day I ask myself "WTF is wrong with you why do you care about dumb shit?"

@81, Have you ever thought that some people don't believe in abortion? Have you ever heard of adoption? There are many people who would love to have a baby but can't due to health issues. It's like, okay we had sex and brought a baby into the world but we can't or don't want to take care of it so let's just kill it. Why is everyone so quick to jump to abortion?

Ydi for getting a baby before marriage

Nah, I got through it just fine, maybe you thought your own laziness speaks for the whole site? #81 A bit much for the public, but you had something you thought was worth saying I guess.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Exactly. For starters. If you are a TL;DR kind of person, there's a really simple solution... Don't read it. I am sick of the anti-education direction this world is headed in and god forbid if someone writes more than three sentences and your brain has to actually READ to comprehend something. Maybe it's a bit much for some but I am not afraid to say what no woman should have to be afraid to say. No one should be made to fear backlash for choosing to not carry a child. And please notice I mentioned adoption but was directing mostly to the person who referred to a soon to be born baby as a "problem" if you aren't ready for one... As if there were NO other options. I am WELL aware many don't believe in it, and that is fine as long as you don't expect that nobody else should have the option to abort. I am all for adoption and I would love to adopt or even carry a baby for someone who can't. But people who think adoption is the answer to every single unwanted pregnancy are living with their head buried in the damned sand. People say "oh yes, but adoption!" But let's be realistic. A lot of those kids don't get put up for adoption. The parents just have the kid, keep them, spend the welfare money on booze and then neglect them severely. It happens every day and its a far greater crime than any abortion. I am not for people bringing unwanted children into the world simply because they feel like they "have to". What I was saying was that if you see a child as a problem... You shouldn't be carrying one regardless of your beliefs or your intent to give it away. In many cases it is a religious belief (not always, I know that). And to that all I can say is this. If you are so blinded by a religion or belief that you would sooner condemn a family for choosing to abort a small clump of cells rather than one who chooses to let that become a baby that is born an unwanted "problem"... Then not even your god can save your holier-than-thou ass.

FlowerMama 20

109: Unfortunately, it is not typically a "clump of cells" by the time most abortions take place. Many abortions happen when the fertilized egg has already reached human appearance, has a beating heart, and can feel pain. THAT is why so many people are against abortion. The unborn baby is torn apart in order to be removed. Tell me again how that is better than being born in any situation?

I have a few things to say to this. 1) Condoms can be had for free in basically every single city in the civilized world 2) The only biological purpose for sex is reproduction. Everything else is there as an incentive to reproduce 3) Abortion clinics with immoral practices, insensitive patient care, and a complete lack of ethics are a very common and widespread problem. 12 year old girls should NOT be able to have an abortion and have it covered up by the clinic and the school. Too many parents have found out their children are sexually active only after they wind up dead from a botched abortion done by incompetent, unqualified doctors. 4) I am non-religious, but I do find abortion to be morally questionable. I believe in a woman's right to choose, but I believe the laws for it need some major reform. A human being is considered legally dead after brain activity ceases. If so, the legal basis for life should be determined as when brain activity can be recorded. This is generally about a month and a half to two months. After this point, you ARE terminating a life, not just a blob of cells. Anything else is hypocritical by direct definition in law. 7) Late-term abortions are horrifyingly common. Many fetuses are aborted at the same stage of development that my mother and a few of my close friends were born at. If the fetus could be kept in an incubator and live, aborting it is WRONG. There is no debate there. Anyone who disagrees is a monster. 8) Don't have sex if you aren't willing to carry a child. It's basic logic. You have sex, you better prepare for the risks. If you can't decide whether or not to have an abortion BEFORE the fetus develops brain activity, do not make a living thing suffer for your indecision. This is not a matter of women's rights, it is a matter of selfishness. 9) I very rarely, if ever, get people to discuss this topic intelligently. It's likely I'm going to be thumbed down for being educated and having an opinion.

Pretty much every single thing you wrote is untrue. There is not an epidemic of immoral, incompetent doctors rushing around killing 12 year old with botched abortions of 2 month old fetuses with active brain waves. There are a lot of hysterical "i beleive in a woman's right to choose but I also beleive that every single choice she could make is somehow tainted and wrong" types running around though.

What would make him think it was about him?

He's a man. We always think sex is about us. The female orgasm is, after all, a myth....

Along with the imaginary g-spot. And the clitoris that no man has ever found!

I really really hope that you're joking #28 and #33

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

You must be new to FML #40.

everyone is hoping you're joking #40

perdix 29

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And we all know that most of the time porn is right. We have put a lot of study into this.

Apparently, the prostaglandins in semen can help induce labour. Probably better applied topically, though.

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Yeah, because giving my boyfriend head without touching myself or anything gives me an instant orgasm. It turns me on, yes. But an orgasm simply from giving head? That's a new one...

By the way, that was in response to #65.

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#112 its called faking it. Do you honestly think a girl would get an orgasm from giving head without being touched.

flashback.miss 28

You ought to make him wear one of those fake pregnancy devices so he can develop some sympathy. You slapped him at least, right? Or at least, had him promise the queen's treatment at home?

perdix 29

#4, that wouldn't work. He'd just say, "Won't you give this poor fat guy a blowjob?" and expect one out of sympathy for the sudden weight gain.

Haha he just wants some. I mean let him have some and he'll let you have some, right? Relationships are give-give.

That's why people have sex. So both parties can feel pleasure at the same time...

Yes cause when you are heavily pregnant you want give someone road head. Also, road head is dangerous, as if you would put your baby at that risk, fuck that.

I don't think I could have even leant over enough to give road head when I was a week overdue!

Well, your boyfriend sure seems like a smart cookie.... Congratulations on your baby :)

gloooooria 14

Are you sure your husband didn't mean giving you oral? That'd be a story to tell the family!

"Hey kid, in order for me to get you out, I had to swallow your brothers and sisters!"

Her boyfriend was requesting "Road head," which (I'm assuming by your comment you don't know) means her giving him oral, not the other way around

gloooooria 14

I do know what it means. But when women receive oral, what's that called? Men can receive head, oral, and so can women. I was thinking positive for OP.

RedPillSucks 31

I believe he was driving, so that would be interesting on several levels, as well as dangerous on several levels.

Your boyfriend has a bad case of selective hearing.

Zack6849 8


flockz 19

sure i'll have a beer.

That's just hilarious

perdix 29

Ironically, if you were more giving with the "road head," you might not need to visit the doctor at all.