FML : Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get...

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Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By sharkboy - / Monday 11 June 2012 02:33 / United States - Honolulu

Miscellaneous

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Top comments

By eeppiicc | 8

#4551490 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Eating her would have solved that problem.

By Sunyboy | 12

#4551489 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Shark week is beast.

Comments

By I_Punch_Babies | 7

#4551486 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:04

wow...just wow

Jonkbaby | 16

#4551495 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:06

dump his as!!!

eeppiicc | 8

#4551503 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:09

7, But the word as is important in the English language.

Keevarou | 16

#4551506 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:10

Haven't you heard that the bird is the word?>:3

dude1122332 | 9

#4551509 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:11

-Peter Griffin. Wisdom words.

JocelynKaulitz | 28

#4551511 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:12

You should know, sharks don't take shit from nobody.
Eat her!

eeppiicc | 8

#4551523 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:16

14, I feel like #3 said something similar to that, but I'm not quite sure..

igive | 28

#4551526 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:18

14 if you know what i mean....

dude1122332 | 9

#4551528 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:18

17, I'm with you on that.. Just can't think why.. -scrolls down-

siickman | 7

#4551601 - Monday 11 June 2012 10:25

So this dumb FML gets posted but mine doesnt. I really wonder who generates all these FML's and question what the actual fuck are they doing over there. -.-

AnwarK95 | 1

#4552045 - Monday 11 June 2012 14:08

I'm quite surprised no one made a "Shark Week" period-related joke yet...

beelee1988 | 13

#4553004 - Monday 11 June 2012 18:24

7- her*

Trix_Disorder | 20

#4554173 - Monday 11 June 2012 23:03

13 - It's a real song.

Bobissmall | 13

#4557411 - Tuesday 12 June 2012 13:44

Despite terrible spelling and wrong gender(?) I sort of have to agree with #7. Reverse the roles for a moment, girl jokes she's a shark, guy pokes her in the eyes and punches her. Wouldn't you all be telling her to break it off?

xactownife | 7

#4559532 - Wednesday 13 June 2012 0:51

13 - The bird was the word long before Family Guy existed

julien672 | 0

#4653788 - Thursday 5 July 2012 18:40

This from the person whose username involves punching babies.

omg36 | 7

#4972333 - Wednesday 26 September 2012 1:34

Why would you say you're a shark as a joke? What are you six?

acrawf4244 | 4

#5960833 - Friday 30 May 2014 21:06

Naw shiz...

By Sunyboy | 12

#4551489 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Shark week is beast.

crazykid300 | 6

#4551587 - Monday 11 June 2012 10:04

Fuck ya it is

iFizzgig | 11

#4552313 - Monday 11 June 2012 15:34

Sharks! they only bite when you touch their private parts!

tjv3 | 10

#4554479 - Tuesday 12 June 2012 0:58

OP I think I love your girlfriend lol

buckstop1 | 37

#6514589 - Tuesday 19 January 2016 16:42

That's a little on the creepy side mate

By eeppiicc | 8

#4551490 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:05

Eating her would have solved that problem.

exleonhart | 0

#4551537 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:23

You sly boots you...

FMLshark | 12

#4551546 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:29

Already done.
She was a little salty.

toenibbler | 14

#4551559 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:35

I've told you before and I'll tell you again: toes are the better option.

FMLshark | 12

#4551563 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:37

Toes have no meat, 36. :( I prefer ribs.
I'll save the toes so you can nibble them.

RedPillSucks | 31

#4552538 - Monday 11 June 2012 16:28

I'm having fun imagining what the definition of "Eating" might be.

Why the hell are there 2 #1 comments?

Cartera | 10

#4553062 - Monday 11 June 2012 18:37

31 - your bio is inspiring.

onlychildFTW | 33

#4553533 - Monday 11 June 2012 19:59

Don't sharks like it a little fishy? Haha.

KingCeltic77 | 18

#4556236 - Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:43

I would eat her. I'd eat her real well.

mannykatany | 9

#4564364 - Thursday 14 June 2012 5:17

Haha

angeluv_2014 | 22

#5557307 - Saturday 29 June 2013 3:59

Oh Red, what about Kitty??!

By Yousuck24 | 21

#4551491 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:06

Your girlfriend sounds like a funny person.

ummmhii | 0

#4551525 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:18

I love Shark Week. FYL for not watching it.

By dude1122332 | 9

#4551493 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:06

You should've. Probably would've learned something.

ThisIsMyReign | 4

#4551529 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:19

Like where the period does and does not go?

dude1122332 | 9

#4551533 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:21

DONT CORRECT MY ERRORS. Thanks and enjoy your flight.(:

exleonhart | 0

#4551542 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:26

Caps will deffinately convey your demands even better, when followed by a unrelated statement.

skizzars | 2

#4551769 - Monday 11 June 2012 12:30

Definitely*

By smilz2u | 0

#4551494 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:06

She got ya there hehe :)

By ICastillo | 24

#4551497 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:07

Well shark week is awesome!!! And at least she knows how to defend herself against a shark.

By RawEndo | 1

#4551502 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:08

Lmfao shark with no bite

By klovemachine | 24

#4551507 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:10

If the girlfriend is the size of a whale, then this FML becomes even funnier :D

SqueakyChipmunk | 20

#4555286 - Tuesday 12 June 2012 1:58

What's funny is that the poke in the eyes and nose punch remind me so much of The Three Stooges.

By AugustBurnsToast | 14

#4551517 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:14

Tell her you're a stingray?

exleonhart | 0

#4551535 - Monday 11 June 2012 9:21

Steve Irwin... Is that you?

Trisha_aus | 15

#4552400 - Monday 11 June 2012 16:07

RIP Steve...we miss ya! Although none of us talked like him..crikey!!

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