Today, while at the beach, as a joke, I told my girlfriend that I was a shark. She then poked my eyes and punched me in the nose. When I started to get mad, she just shrugged and asked, "What? You're the one that wanted to be a shark. Don't you watch Shark Week?" FML
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Top comments
By
eeppiicc
| 8
Eating her would have solved that problem.
By
Sunyboy
| 12
Shark week is beast.
COMMENTS
By
I_Punch_Babies
| 7
wow...just wow
Reply
Jonkbaby
| 19
dump his as!!!
Reply
eeppiicc
| 8
7, But the word as is important in the English language.
Reply
Keevarou
| 16
Haven't you heard that the bird is the word?>:3
Reply
dude1122332
| 9
-Peter Griffin. Wisdom words.
Reply
JocelynKaulitz
| 28
You should know, sharks don't take shit from nobody.
Eat her!
Eat her!
Reply
eeppiicc
| 8
14, I feel like #3 said something similar to that, but I'm not quite sure..
Reply
igive
| 28
14 if you know what i mean....
Reply
dude1122332
| 9
17, I'm with you on that.. Just can't think why.. -scrolls down-
Reply
siickman
| 7
So this dumb FML gets posted but mine doesnt. I really wonder who generates all these FML's and question what the actual fuck are they doing over there. -.-
Reply
AnwarK95
| 1
I'm quite surprised no one made a "Shark Week" period-related joke yet...
Reply
beelee1988
| 13
7- her*
Reply
Trix_Disorder
| 20
13 - It's a real song.
Reply
Bobissmall
| 13
Despite terrible spelling and wrong gender(?) I sort of have to agree with #7. Reverse the roles for a moment, girl jokes she's a shark, guy pokes her in the eyes and punches her. Wouldn't you all be telling her to break it off?
Reply
xactownife
| 7
13 - The bird was the word long before Family Guy existed
Reply
julien672
| 0
This from the person whose username involves punching babies.
Reply
omg36
| 7
Why would you say you're a shark as a joke? What are you six?
Reply
acrawf4244
| 4
Naw shiz...
By
Sunyboy
| 12
Shark week is beast.
Reply
crazykid300
| 6
Fuck ya it is
Reply
iFizzgig
| 11
Sharks! they only bite when you touch their private parts!
Reply
tjv3
| 10
OP I think I love your girlfriend lol
Reply
buckstop1
| 37
That's a little on the creepy side mate
By
eeppiicc
| 8
Eating her would have solved that problem.
Reply
exleonhart
| 0
You sly boots you...
Reply
FMLshark
| 12
Already done.
She was a little salty.
She was a little salty.
Reply
toenibbler
| 14
I've told you before and I'll tell you again: toes are the better option.
Reply
FMLshark
| 12
Toes have no meat, 36. :( I prefer ribs.
I'll save the toes so you can nibble them.
I'll save the toes so you can nibble them.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
I'm having fun imagining what the definition of "Eating" might be.
Why the hell are there 2 #1 comments?
Why the hell are there 2 #1 comments?
Reply
Cartera
| 10
31 - your bio is inspiring.
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
Don't sharks like it a little fishy? Haha.
Reply
KingCeltic77
| 18
I would eat her. I'd eat her real well.
Reply
mannykatany
| 9
Haha
Reply
angeluv_2014
| 22
Oh Red, what about Kitty??!
By
Yousuck24
| 21
Your girlfriend sounds like a funny person.
Reply
ummmhii
| 0
I love Shark Week. FYL for not watching it.
By
dude1122332
| 9
You should've. Probably would've learned something.
Reply
ThisIsMyReign
| 4
Like where the period does and does not go?
Reply
dude1122332
| 9
DONT CORRECT MY ERRORS. Thanks and enjoy your flight.(:
Reply
exleonhart
| 0
Caps will deffinately convey your demands even better, when followed by a unrelated statement.
Reply
skizzars
| 2
Definitely*
By
smilz2u
| 0
She got ya there hehe :)
By
ICastillo
| 24
Well shark week is awesome!!! And at least she knows how to defend herself against a shark.
By
RawEndo
| 1
Lmfao shark with no bite
By
klovemachine
| 24
If the girlfriend is the size of a whale, then this FML becomes even funnier :D
Reply
SqueakyChipmunk
| 20
What's funny is that the poke in the eyes and nose punch remind me so much of The Three Stooges.
By
AugustBurnsToast
| 14
Tell her you're a stingray?
Reply
exleonhart
| 0
Steve Irwin... Is that you?
Reply
Trisha_aus
| 15
RIP Steve...we miss ya! Although none of us talked like him..crikey!!