FML : Today we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30...

Today we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By too dumb for sex - / Saturday 16 March 2019 22:00 /

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Top comments

By RichardPencil | 27

#7782183 - Saturday 16 March 2019 22:21

How old are you? 80?

By tounces7 | 25

#7782218 - Sunday 17 March 2019 0:05

Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.

Comments

By RichardPencil | 27

#7782183 - Saturday 16 March 2019 22:21

How old are you? 80?

By davidfong | 14

#7782192 - Saturday 16 March 2019 22:31

You to need to stop and just try again another day. I sounds like it was one days where you really don’t want to talk about and pretend like it didn’t happen. Even though you posted it on FML

By melisssa87 | 30

#7782201 - Saturday 16 March 2019 22:58

Well if you really have to bang today just find a position that works with whatever position you are in right now

By tounces7 | 25

#7782218 - Sunday 17 March 2019 0:05

Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.

By Cody Vertigo Bonthoux | 14

#7782228 - Sunday 17 March 2019 0:35

some things just aren't meant to be, like you getting laid😂

By BurnInDemonFire | 26

#7782260 - Sunday 17 March 2019 3:05

Either you're on meds that are thinning your blood, or your girlfriend/wife/fuck buddy has a head made out of adamantium. If you're having long-lasting nosebleeds, don't just sit there complaining you're "woozy as fuck", go see a doctor, because you literally need your head examined.