By too dumb for sex - 16/03/2019 22:00

Today we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 200
You deserved it 247

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

tounces7 27

Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.

How old are you? 80?

Comments

How old are you? 80?

tounces7 27

Maybe just try lying on your back. It sounds like any other position might be too strenuous anyway.

some things just aren't meant to be, like you getting laid😂

Either you're on meds that are thinning your blood, or your girlfriend/wife/fuck buddy has a head made out of adamantium. If you're having long-lasting nosebleeds, don't just sit there complaining you're "woozy as fuck", go see a doctor, because you literally need your head examined.

smartjaguargurl 17

Sounds like an anime

Take it as a sign from the universe, man. Or don’t. Either way 🤷🏻‍♀️

randybryant799 20

good god. Obviously you are not ready for sex.