Miscellaneous: Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile... - FML

By rusty2020 - 25/03/2009 16:32 - United States

Today, we got our yearbooks for school. I opened to my profile to see that they misspelled my first name which is James. They wrote Lames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163 391

You deserved it 13 203

Triage

Dementia or hate? You decide

Bodyshaming

By Kevin - 09/09/2011 12:10 - United Kingdom

Today, I wrote a fake phone number on my neck to make it look like someone had hit on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 183

You deserved it 42 815

By Soph - 25/03/2013 21:53 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, during a sex ed lesson, we were given a lecture on pregnancy and abortion from the school nurse. Throughout the session she kept repeating, "Of course, Sophie knows ALL about this." The nurse happens to know that my dad's a gynaecologist. That's not what everyone else in the year thinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 615

You deserved it 2 859

Sharing is caring

By Cirese Summerrose - 21/09/2019 18:00

Today, I found out I have herpes. I'm 9 months pregnant and have only been with my husband. It just so happens that our roommate just got over herpes. I thought they were just spending time together, bonding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 246

By The Joker? - 31/07/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 839

You deserved it 3 449

By Anonymous - 01/01/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriends mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp comes up from my throat. And not only that. A small chunk of mucus flies out and lands on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 913

You deserved it 5 806

By StormSeason - 29/10/2012 12:03 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 2 237

By justmyluck - 12/02/2010 19:34 - United States

Today, my mom picked me up from school due to me being sick. Afterwards, she took a detour to the DMV, and I waited in the car. I ended up vomiting everywhere, clothes included, and had to sit in the car for three hours while the taste and smells lingered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 418

You deserved it 4 859

By keimA - 23/06/2019 12:30

Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 342

Tourism

By Jaymail - 11/10/2020 10:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was stuck in backed up traffic because of construction for so long that my phone actually listed where I was stuck in traffic as a place I visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 58

By legallyblondemad - 29/08/2009 19:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 847

You deserved it 5 267

Covidiots

By Anonymous - 05/12/2020 19:08 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I had to abandon my shopping after a Covidiot directly sneezed all over it. He took his mask off because he was about to sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 177

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 430

You deserved it 6 904

By Anonymous - 01/03/2015 19:03 - United States - Springfield

Today, my sister came out of the closet. By which I mean she came out as the pregnant mother of my boyfriend's child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 779

You deserved it 3 008

By itssdianaa - 29/06/2010 03:18 - United States

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 926

You deserved it 27 814

By bells - 30/12/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, at the office, after a heavy night of drinking, I had to hear my boss walk around with bells attached to her shoes. She circled the office a total of 34 times today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 998

You deserved it 28 515

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 16:45

Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 267

You deserved it 1 091

The Bathtub Incident

By Katie - 17/09/2019 12:01 - United States

Today, my little sister took a dump in our bath tub right before we were leaving for soccer practice. When my mom found it, she blamed it on me, then made me pick it up with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 820

You deserved it 114

By balancestrikesagain - 24/04/2009 09:37 - United States

Today, I was getting onto an airplane and happened to admire the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when my foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to my seat but now I have bruised nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 344

You deserved it 10 712

By minty - 14/03/2015 03:52 - United States

Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today". I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 530

You deserved it 2 951

What's your emergency?

By Anonymous - 06/04/2020 23:00

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 273

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 05:41 - United States - Spring

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 144

You deserved it 1 616

By exfishowner - 27/01/2019 12:00

Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 331

By just me - 13/05/2012 18:54 - Germany - Overath

Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 114

You deserved it 3 462

Revealed

By Anonymous - 06/07/2009 22:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my coworker came over to my desk and told me that I should protect my Twitter updates, because I had unknowingly made them public. My tweets include drinking stories, all the men I've hooked up with, various cuss words, sexual innuendos, and how much I hate my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 905

You deserved it 83 094

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 06:49 - United Kingdom - Middlewich

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 354

You deserved it 3 208

By Mrs. W. - 11/08/2015 00:32 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 355

You deserved it 2 369

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 815

You deserved it 11 434

By maddiecat - 08/01/2013 05:34 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I saw Les Misérables. I was singing along to one of the songs when the guy next to me dumped his soda over my head and told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 392

You deserved it 100 676

By Notfamous - 02/12/2015 22:18 - United States - West Point

Today, my mother found out I published a book. She demanded that I pay her all my royalties as repayment for her raising me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 734

You deserved it 1 512

Alexa, play "Repetition" by The Fall

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 02:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I woke up and realized it's still 2020. It's like Groundhog Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 218

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 16:29 - United States - Cass Lake

Today, my boss told me I got my new job because she rejected candidates that seemed "too confident" or "too pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 376

You deserved it 3 019

By Anonymous - 18/04/2014 22:35 - Canada - Concord

Today, my son said his first complete sentence: "Mommy likes shit." Not only will he not stop saying it, I have no idea who taught him to say it in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 309

You deserved it 4 843

By afraidofcans - 23/10/2012 16:01 - United States - Stafford

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 710

You deserved it 4 418

By sn-511 - 01/03/2013 22:54 - Italy - Naples

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 776

You deserved it 5 961

By Disrespectful - 18/01/2017 09:01

Spicy

Today, my boss fired me for "disrespecting" him after I told him to fuck off. This would be understandable, if I hadn't said it when he was at my house for dinner, harassing my wife with suggestive poses, heavily implied comments, and trying to put his hand on her crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 104

You deserved it 872

By Anonymous - 12/06/2017 20:00

Today, my mom told me I couldn't be best man at my best friend's wedding. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 128

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 23:06 - United States

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 104

You deserved it 10 449

By Grossed Out - 13/03/2010 10:35 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my dad asked me if I could convince my mother to get a Brazillian wax. If that's not bad enough, my mother heard and yelled from the other room, "I like my furball." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 741

You deserved it 2 780

By elliekilroy - 11/12/2010 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 146

You deserved it 29 054

By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 22:30 - United States - Auburn

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 95 524

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:58

The yearbook editors are supposed to triple check the names to prevent that kind of stuff. sorry you were the subject of their carelessness/incompetence.

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:06

if you have a sucky life you could convice people you're the new exchange student. hello. my name is lames. pronounces lah-mez. oh lala.

Comments

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:57

rofl i think this is fake. or it was a joke. either way, funnny

Zr009 0

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Monday 19 July 2010 7:35

dont feel bad bo i won spanish club king for making the most money took my picture with the spanish queen for the yearbook..the teacher had the runner up who she wanted to win take a picture with her as well..they put theres in the yearbook with him wearing the kings outfit FML

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:58

The yearbook editors are supposed to triple check the names to prevent that kind of stuff. sorry you were the subject of their carelessness/incompetence.

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Thursday 5 April 2012 5:51

Just because the editors didn't catch that, doesn't mean their lazy or incompetent. Things like these fall through the cracks all the time. After all it is a student publication. Don't feel bad OP its happened to the best of us.

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Thursday 19 September 2013 18:43

I don't think this was an accident

AutumnHerondale 14

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Saturday 11 January 2014 19:13

That's not true, I'm on yearbook.

Ashamed_Sister 60

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Tuesday 25 February 2014 13:10

The Vatican had to withdraw more than 6,000 papal medals that went on sale Tuesday, 10 October 2013 which spelled “Jesus” as “Lesus.” Newspapers report that four medallions, commemorating the beginning of Pope Francis’ papacy, were sold before the typo was noticed and the coin went off the market.

fmlstarterkit 13

Monday 2 November 2015 5:43

definitely not an accident. definitely a burn.

darkimmortal777 6

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:58

ahah that sucks

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 19:58

ROFL

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:01

it isn't fake. i mean it could be my at my school the editors suck and there are always loads of misspelled names and such. last year they mispelled the principals name.

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:03

L isn't even next to J though, unlikely it's a typo..

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Tuesday 26 January 2010 4:46

its close though and you use the same hand

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Saturday 22 May 2010 6:01

JMania, L is one letter away from J. the only letter inbetween them is K.

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Tuesday 20 July 2010 7:48

it happened at my school before too

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:06

if you have a sucky life you could convice people you're the new exchange student. hello. my name is lames. pronounces lah-mez. oh lala.

kayliiebear08 0

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Monday 21 February 2011 7:57

haha yes! I would totally do that :]

bipolarchipmunk 0

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:07

right, "misspelled."

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:09

ha ha good 1 #9. sry 2 hear that, james.

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Wednesday 25 March 2009 20:09

there was a guy at my school whose senior picture was a baby picture of himself wearing a hat that said "playa." our yearbook editor replaced it with the word "beach." she's spanish. crap happens.

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Wednesday 17 March 2010 23:20

that's cute

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 42

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 146

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 1 030