By Jordan - 10/08/2018 14:00 - United States - Boulder

Today, I met the guy who will be my dorm roommate for the fall semester. One of the first things he said was, "By the way, I am into self-massage, so don't get weirded out if you hear noises coming from my room a lot." Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks 2 825
You deserved it 171

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At least he's more considerate than that guy who walked around naked jerking off all over the floor...

Maybe you’ll think he’s just singing...

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Maybe you’ll think he’s just singing...

Just be like sorry I sleep walk when I hear strange noises and will start singing and dancing to polka music very loudly 🙄😂

At least he's more considerate than that guy who walked around naked jerking off all over the floor...

Hey, at least he's honest.

That's unrealistic, no man can go a year

Lol dorm life. Thin walls. Lots of sex noises and masterbating roommates.

The three worst sounds you can ever hear: Nails on a chalkboard, cutlery scraping across porcelain, and Self-love Steve fapping away to the most recent PornHub updates.

Step One: Put on some inoffensive music on speakers. Maybe some early Beatles? Step Two: Watch the porn with the headphones on. Step Three: ??? Step Four: Avoid homicide. (Alternatively, OP could start yelling words of encouragement when roomie gets noisy. “Yeah! You tell that dick who’s boss!”)

Self-massage?? Is that what you kids call it now? Back in the day, we called it self-abuse, because we were real men. We were tough!

Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14

Self massaging what would be something you don’t want to know!