By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 768
You deserved it 10 079

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Would it kill you to be a little frisky? I'm sure you do things during sex that aren't always to be considered attractive.

That's pretty minor compared to what it could have been.


Would it kill you to be a little frisky? I'm sure you do things during sex that aren't always to be considered attractive.

No kidding. So he did something stupid. We do that. Don't be such a stiff about it.

"Stiff" That is all.

That's assuming they've had sex

right #36 ...when I read this FML I presumed OP must be pretty young.... Any woman who hasn't heard her man make hundreds of jokes about his man parts hasn't been around too long

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I would laugh hysterically and then move on. That's funny to me, not a turn-off.

That's pretty minor compared to what it could have been.

Compared to some of the other FML's this isn't so bad.

careful... if you don't agree with the moderators that this post is a real FML scenario they will delete your comment .. true story

He had a raging hard on and you were no longer in the mood? Girl, what's wrong with you?

the only thing 'minor' here is OP, I'm guessing

If you can't laugh & have a bit of fun in the bedroom, you're gonna have a bad time.

Well.. Why weren't you?

Your profile pic goes so well with this FML.

I do not understand why she wasnt in the mood

michaelaranda 28

What does "it has risen" mean? Why did it kill your mood

He was trying to bake some bread.

One thought I had is that perhaps she got offended for its similarity to the phrase "He is risen!" during Easter..

Your 18 and you don't know basic common sense..

shyeahh_fml 19

Christian lingo is definitely NOT common sense. Not everyone is Christian. There are numerous religions in the world that others participate in, and still others are atheist. Don't assume that your religion is common sense; I find that extremely offensive. But then again, what does a baby eating, devil worshiping atheist know?

70 - And you don't know proper English.

NagainaFier 16

#74 Woah there, buddy! Easy, big fella! I find you extremely offensive. Seriously; no need to run around slamming people's religions (or lack there of). Their choice, not yours, and don't get bent out shape when ever they make a statement like that; so long as they aren't shoving it down your throat and bellowing that you're wrong, who cares if they think their religious teachings are 'common sense'? (Unless this was a failed reference to another FML? I haven't been on for a little bit, and am very much behind)

86 - please, teach me the ways of the Cartera panda? I was in no way preaching my religious beliefs. 'It has risen' was clearly a statement about his erection. That is what I meant by common sense. My apologies if I offended anyone.

bamagrl410 31

I've posed this question before, and I still haven't found an answer - why do atheists feel the need to tell you that they're an atheist right away? I'm fine with everyone having their own beliefs, but you don't have to let everyone know your beliefs just to make a point. If anything, I feel like that's just as bad as shoving it down someone's throat by pointing out that you're an atheist and then getting into a heated rant.

Normally, I don't care if people are religious, but when you're like 74, then I cannot tolerate it. And 74, when was religion brought up before you mentioned it? Don't be such a Bible pusher. This is FML, were here to have a good time and make fun of people. If you can't take it, then leave. Rant over.

That's not that bad... were you not really that much in the mood to begin with?

Maybe she expected a softie. Anyway, the boyfriend is pretty awesome in my opinion.

TiffGreen 11

That's exactly what I was thinking. maybe that was just an excuse to get out of it

Your dude is definitely lame

What would you have said?

You don't necessarily have to say something. Just proceed!

Dude way to make an ass out of yourself.

Don't hate bcz you don't know nothin about it ya lil virgin

Your profile talks a out rape and I'm the ass? At least I'm talkin about somethin consensual, like with you and your mother

Look, some people can have sex while laughing. Why don't you lighten up a bit and try again?

From a depressing thread to telling people to lighten up. 0.0 Seems legit.

Personally I like to make jokes during sex. And a couple of times during sex while Family Guy was on in the background I have had laughing fits and my boyfriend just keeps going :)

Tika876 18

Didn't you want it to rise?

TheElBurrrito 21

Nope! That's not how things with around here.

TheElBurrrito 21

WORK*..... I would expect nothing less of myself! Since I'm apparently illiterate.

NickaPLZ 26

It's funny how the wrong phrase can just instantly ruin intercourse...

Inciter 33

Only if the other person has no sense of humor. If you're horny enough, one goofy sentence won't kill the mood.

on the upside, atleast he had the balls to rise to the occasion and try something new! what a boner :(