By u.p.i.c. - United States - Los Angeles Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML I agree, your life sucks 1095 You deserved it 519 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML I agree, your life sucks 20142 You deserved it 34480 336 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By **(: - United States Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML I agree, your life sucks 31459 You deserved it 12535 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By erin - France Today, I met a guy online, and I realized the cyber sex I had with him was better than the sex I get from my boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 9256 You deserved it 33557 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By female Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML I agree, your life sucks 2792 You deserved it 338 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Charli Today, after months of my (now ex) boyfriend telling me he wished I was blonde with big boobs, I finally retaliated with "I wish you were a redhead with a big dick, but you don't see me complaining." He cried and said I should love him for who he is. FML I agree, your life sucks 3589 You deserved it 298 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ants everywhere but my pants - United States - Sun City Center Today, I left the windows open because I live in Florida without air conditioning because the asshole landlord won't fix it. There was nice cool air from the rain. I've killed about 100 flying ants that have made their way inside. Now I have a hot house with closed windows and flying ants. FML I agree, your life sucks 14014 You deserved it 1513 45 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mel - United States Today, I had to blow my nose. Trying to be a considerate roommate, I tiptoed over to the bathroom in the dark, which would have been fine, if I hadn't tripped over a chair and crushed the art project that she's been working on for the past month. FML I agree, your life sucks 30874 You deserved it 8266 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Blythe Today, a woman accused me of bullying her son, and said that she is going to get me fired. Her son is a 27-year-old teacher at my school, whom I disciplined for showing up drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 49221 You deserved it 2644 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sarah Today, my therapist said, "Y'know, Sarah, you would be a lot happier if you laid off the cocaine." I don't do cocaine. I never have. FML I agree, your life sucks 3567 You deserved it 226 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By caramelkarma - United States Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML I agree, your life sucks 22224 You deserved it 65528 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kaipodable - United States Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML I agree, your life sucks 33052 You deserved it 4484 153 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Edmonton Today, I asked my school counselor in strict confidence for advice on how to help a friend of mine, who has bulimia. When I got home, I found out that "someone" had called my parents and told them that I'm bulimic. They won't believe the truth. FML I agree, your life sucks 24581 You deserved it 1636 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Well, crap - Denmark - Kongerslev Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML I agree, your life sucks 52285 You deserved it 22162 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Early bird special Today, despite the fact they know I'm commuting hundreds of kilometres, I was requested to come to work at the earliest possible hour, every day. I'll be waking up at half past 3 a.m. and admire sunrises on my way. FML I agree, your life sucks 1500 You deserved it 203 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Chicago Today, I was outside at a café and looked at my phone. When I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML I agree, your life sucks 41768 You deserved it 2931 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jaclk - United States - Needham Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML I agree, your life sucks 27823 You deserved it 19712 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toametru1 - United States - Los Angeles Today, I mockingly made "President Trump" jokes all day to my friends, knowing Clinton was bound to win the election. FML I agree, your life sucks 12082 You deserved it 8882 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He said he would have done it two weeks ago but he needed someone to drive him around while his car was getting repaired. FML I agree, your life sucks 47178 You deserved it 4414 201 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML I agree, your life sucks 17212 You deserved it 44976 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was taking a shower outside at my fiancé's beach house. I was struggling to take my bikini bottoms off so I started to walk backwards to step out of it. Little did I know that I had pushed the door open. My fiancé, his family, and my family all saw me bend over naked. FML I agree, your life sucks 38420 You deserved it 8564 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By more than I wanted to know - Italy - San Giustino Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 84949 You deserved it 5840 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Shobz - United Kingdom Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 37383 You deserved it 2718 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dashofweak - United States - Mount Vernon Today, I did the math and discovered that every year, I pay the equivalent cost of a luxury car to a college that can't even keep rats out of the dorms. FML I agree, your life sucks 14836 Phew, glad it wasn't me 1549 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noodlesandmilk - Australia - Canberra Today, my step-brother went grocery shopping alone for the first time. He came home with Ramen and 14 bottles of chocolate milk, which will expire by the 20th. My step-dad is insisting we eat it so it doesn't go to waste. FML I agree, your life sucks 21969 You deserved it 1824 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - United States - Indianapolis Today, my mom and I took my senile grandmother to the mall, since she doesn't get out much. She complained it was hot, then took her clothing off in the middle of the food court. It took us thirty minutes to make her put her shirt back on. FML I agree, your life sucks 26369 You deserved it 2245 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - United States - Coldwater Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 11337 You deserved it 3982 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Frome Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML I agree, your life sucks 22548 You deserved it 44832 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jesus - United States Today, I was playing guitar on the sidewalk and had my guitar case open for tips. A man came up with a folded piece of green paper, smiled and walked away. After I was finished, I looked at my tips. I unfolded the paper, it was a note that said "You suck!" FML I agree, your life sucks 46879 You deserved it 11427 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By historyrepeats Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 2497 You deserved it 289 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AnonCat - Canada - Vegreville Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 36933 You deserved it 3648 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML I agree, your life sucks 50054 You deserved it 7957 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ugly5402 - United States Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML I agree, your life sucks 20228 You deserved it 26701 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chattyloz - United Kingdom Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML I agree, your life sucks 13793 You deserved it 39660 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Calhoun Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML I agree, your life sucks 33415 You deserved it 2794 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML I agree, your life sucks 256986 You deserved it 17638 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MacBook - United States Today, my dad was in town for 1 day. We only had about 3 hours to do something so we left right away. Right as we were about to leave my dads slutty girlfriend came by for a "surprise visit". My dad told me he would be right back. They had sex for 2 hours and 45 minutes. we talked for 15 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 85737 You deserved it 4163 176 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while registering at the grocery store, a customer came into my lane with a 100 piece boiled shrimp platter. Feeling hungry, I muttered "nom nom" under my breath. The old man called my supervisor. Apparently I called him a moron. FML I agree, your life sucks 16069 You deserved it 30038 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By need my own place - United States Today, while I was cutting myself some watermelon, my mom walked in. I could tell she hadn't taken her medication in a while because she freaked out, grabbed the knife, and burst into tears before yelling at me, saying I could have cut myself and bled out. FML I agree, your life sucks 24821 You deserved it 1572 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dammit33 - Australia - Melbourne Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 25698 You deserved it 8869 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By gjh - Australia Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML I agree, your life sucks 32751 You deserved it 13293 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Cowgirl1293 | 24 #7828077 - Saturday 3 August 2019 8:12 So you're accustomed to eating food that smells like shit? I'm sorry man. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By Cowgirl1293 | 24 #7828077 - Saturday 3 August 2019 8:12 So you're accustomed to eating food that smells like shit? I'm sorry man. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By JM Light MA | 2 #7828264 - Sunday 4 August 2019 1:40 fat bastard from Austin powers Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 771 You deserved it 262 5 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 580 You deserved it 234 4 Comments