Miscellaneous: Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got... - FML

By 5.9Cummins - 11/09/2011 03:18 - Canada

Today, the hillbillies who inhabit the apartment above mine got karaoke machine. It's 1 a.m. and they're singing Achy Breaky Heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 224

You deserved it 3 405

Suspicious minds

Never go public

Stay safe, everyone

By anon - 03/02/2015 07:50 - United States - Bloomington

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 767

You deserved it 32 829

By LizLiao - 14/04/2009 07:50 - United States

Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 782

You deserved it 7 752

By atleasthelistened - 09/03/2016 08:04 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 487

You deserved it 2 426

Hang in there

By Anonymous - 02/01/2021 11:01

Today, my dad said he hates gay people. My parents don't know I'm gay. I'm a high school senior. I wish I could just have someone to love and to love me, I just feel so lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 2 101

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 339

You deserved it 175

By lights on forever - 02/08/2013 20:57 - Turkey - Istanbul

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 834

You deserved it 9 175

By soo - 02/07/2015 20:25

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 194

You deserved it 1 808

By owew - 09/12/2010 05:33

Today, I don't know anyone in the city where I just moved. I felt really lonely so I picked up my cat to try and cuddle with her. She freaked out and ripped my face apart. She ran then away to go play with the cats outside. Even my cat has more friends than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 030

You deserved it 5 174

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Spicy

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 325

You deserved it 6 644

By Username - 30/12/2009 11:30 - France

Today, I decided to have a midnight snack. I figured I knew my own house well enough to leave the lights off so my mom wouldn't wake up. Chuckling at the brilliance of my plan, I walked straight into a doorframe and bust up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 970

You deserved it 30 602

By Anonymous - 13/02/2012 01:11 - United States

Today, I had to pick my grandma up because she was drunk, at church, at 9am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 291

You deserved it 2 486

By rachlette - 17/04/2015 21:47 - United States - Seattle

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 438

You deserved it 2 789

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 306

You deserved it 3 819

By Anonymous - 11/02/2011 15:46 - United States

Today, I watched my grandfather try and park his car inside the storage area for shopping carts, thinking it was a parking space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 360

You deserved it 3 502

Zapped

By joey - 09/03/2020 05:00

Today, my mom decided to try her new taser on me while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 764

You deserved it 119

By pandapantsMD - 18/04/2015 03:12 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 865

You deserved it 2 656

By crappingrapping - 21/05/2013 15:01 - United States

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 187

You deserved it 43 724

Sounds lovely

By akvan - 30/10/2020 06:01 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my coworker, who keeps calling me Mexican even though she knows I'm not, is telling everyone that I act like a bitch to our boss, even though she's the one who is always contradicting and fighting with her, and I always try to keep everything professional. No other jobs are calling me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 58

By Anonymous - 06/11/2016 16:31 - United Kingdom - Maidenhead

Today, I was talking to my best friend about how much of an asshole my ex-boyfriend is. After about 2 hours of non-stop bitching, turns out she's actually dating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 944

You deserved it 1 429

By unfriendlyskies - 02/04/2012 23:40 - United States - Central Falls

Today, I called an airline's customer service line. Apparently the way that they deal with uncommon problems is by having someone put you on hold for twenty minutes, answer and yell something unintelligible at you, put you back on hold, and repeat. This went on for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 226

You deserved it 2 093

By adopted - 03/03/2014 15:55 - United States - New York

Today, I decided it was time to tell my daughter that she had been adopted. Not only had she known for 5 years, she found out from my drunk sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 393

You deserved it 8 552

By Anonymous - 17/04/2015 20:43 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was playing Monopoly with my extended family. When my wife came home, she kicked me out of the game and took all my money and property. When I said she couldn't do that, she said "Sure I can. It's called divorce." Everyone laughed. Now I'm bored as hell, watching everyone else play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 079

You deserved it 3 964

By beer guy - 01/12/2010 05:12

Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 961

You deserved it 2 475

By patriarchal apparently - 29/06/2013 19:58 - Saint Lucia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 935

You deserved it 9 933

Roommates from hell

By ugh - 30/09/2011 19:45 - United States

Today, after a month of living in a pigsty of an apartment with my roommates, I spent the day cleaning the place out. When everyone returned home, instead of thanking me, all they could do was point out the spots I'd missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 361

You deserved it 3 501

By no more flips - 17/05/2015 14:05 - United States - Columbus

Today, I decided to impress my friends by doing a flip on the trampoline. What did impress them, was my lack of tears after I hit the edge of the trampoline and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 726

You deserved it 7 003

By ghgfd - 06/03/2013 14:53 - Canada - Barrie

Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 793

You deserved it 4 410

By Failure - 09/11/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 009

You deserved it 3 463

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 15:18 - United States - Milford

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 091

You deserved it 2 417

By Fox - 25/02/2013 03:41 - United States

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 333

You deserved it 57 501

By anonymous - 22/01/2016 01:55 - United States - Bellefontaine

Today, I met up with my dad for the first time in 7 years. We planned to go to a nice restaurant but he changed the place we were going to, to Chuck E. Cheese. I'm 18 years old. I waited an hour for him to show up. I then ended up babysitting his daughter the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 897

You deserved it 1 592

By Activesleeper - 24/09/2017 11:59 - Australia - Flinders

Today, I woke up to 7 texts about the data overage charges that were accrued last night while I slept. Apparently my phone used nearly 8 GB of data, with no apps open, while I was sound asleep, leaving me with a $63 fee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 083

You deserved it 406

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 17:30 - Germany - K?ln

Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 061

You deserved it 5 481

By ashley - 30/04/2009 20:54 - United States

Today, my sister had her batmitzvah. During the party, there is a tradition where the batmitzvah gets lifted on a chair, and so does her family. It was my turn after my sister's. I got in the chair. They couldn't lift me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 186

You deserved it 28 536

By Out Ran - 16/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 822

You deserved it 34 848

Here boy!

By DrakeB - 20/01/2013 16:34 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 808

You deserved it 43 895

By bglenney - 15/08/2013 09:47 - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 843

You deserved it 4 162

By JCC - 18/05/2011 10:57 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 406

You deserved it 13 026

By anonymous - 25/07/2013 01:31 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was going so slow in traffic that my GPS asked me if I wanted to switch to pedestrian mode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 208

You deserved it 8 116

By Anonymous - 24/10/2018 14:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. When she saw the ring, she got so excited that she ran to kiss me and it flew out of my hand, over the balcony of our suite, and fell roughly 45 stories straight down. I could feel my wallet screaming as a £4000 diamond vanished into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 697

You deserved it 482

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Top comments

PurpleFrostingg 7

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Join them

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

Play some blaring loud Miley Cyrus shit in return.

Comments

chrissi3vintage 0

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Sucks to be you!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 15:50

What if OP has secretly loves Hillbillies?

NickyK 25

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Sunday 11 September 2011 15:52

What if OP secretly loves Hillbillies?

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Sunday 11 September 2011 20:24

Hey man.. Quit talking about my karaoke machine. I love it :D

PurpleFrostingg 7

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:49

Join them

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

Impossible! Trailers don't have more than one floor! Ergo, they aren't hillbillies.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:55

Have you seen Ashton Kutchers trailer? That trailer is 3 stories!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:59

Well gawd dang it Cletus

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:07

Therapistdownstairs does not know when to have a good time. Hopefully Miley is up next for you so you can sing a long

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:27

Sing a long what?

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:35

SoTY you don't know every word to every Miley song? Foreshame

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:40

Sorry, It's Not Friday :(

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:42

OP should practice singing, if you can't beat 'em, out sing them!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 16:59

Fight back rock out to lady gaga that should get to them

hellbilly205 17

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Sunday 11 September 2011 17:57

I dont see a problem with this FML i love achy breaky heart.

crazychick1269 7

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Sunday 11 September 2011 17:57

you should join them:)

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Sunday 11 September 2011 18:08

StoryOfTheYear is making fun of you. In your context you MEANT "sing along," as in "sing with." The way you wrote it is more like "Sing a long song," but missing the noun at the end, which would indicate what the long thing you were singing is.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 18:34

Don't play that song, that achy breaky song

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Sunday 11 September 2011 18:55

Where the hell does it say anything about Miley?

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Sunday 11 September 2011 19:01

103- Billy Ray Cyrus sings "Achy Breaky Heart". He is also Miley's father. -_-

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Sunday 11 September 2011 20:36

GOD BLESS REDNECKS! and yeah join them mr. 5.9 cummins

tjv3 10

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Monday 12 September 2011 0:57

So since your neighbors Hank and Peggy Hill does that make you Khan?? "Are you Chinese or Japanese ?" lol

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Monday 12 September 2011 1:12

97- Lol....

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Monday 12 September 2011 4:57

Stop trying to sound smart. You are only making yourself sound like a dumbass.

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Monday 12 September 2011 9:46

94- Nice confederate flag you goddamned hick.

hellbilly205 17

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Monday 12 September 2011 15:33

Thank you :)

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Tuesday 13 September 2011 11:54

oh my therapist is downstaires? yay thank god u found him!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:50

If you can't beat them join them!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:17

Or call the police.

Wheredidgrungego 12

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Sunday 11 September 2011 10:11

Hope she doesn't have a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack!

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Tuesday 4 October 2011 23:42

Your comment made me laugh so hard that I became light-headed. Oh god, I can feel the blood rushing to my head...

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Saturday 26 November 2011 20:14

Or, alternatively, if you can't beat them then arrange to have them beaten.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:52

Next time you see them just ask them to use it at reasonable times.

Notimetobleed 14

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Sunday 11 September 2011 17:23

I just don't think you'd understand.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 18:05

91, you win King Of Comments for the week!!!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

Play some blaring loud Miley Cyrus shit in return.

EnEl_Infierno 15

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:58

They'd probably like that, I'd suggest blast some Rebecca Black, hell might even make them move out.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:36

Alas, it's Saturday. Her cover of Smells Like Teen Spirit should be good enough to scare any neighbor away.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 10:16

Hello...hello...how low.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 17:47

Lol true or her cover of I Love Rock N Roll will make anyone get off the face of the Earth.

lindseyluvszac 4

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:53

Turn that shit off

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Sunday 11 September 2011 22:58

Your an idiot...

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Sunday 11 September 2011 23:29

No, YOU'RE an idiot.

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Monday 12 September 2011 3:22

No, YOU!

hellbilly205 17

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Monday 12 September 2011 15:35

No you

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Monday 12 September 2011 22:29

NO ME!!!! Oh Crap!

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Tuesday 4 October 2011 23:44

lmao. way to end the argument.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:54

Are they still considered hillbillies if they live in a place such as an apartment complex?

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:55

For more information, read my earlier post.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:55

upperclass hillbillies

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:58

10- Earlier post? You were threadjacking. Lol.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:26

@10 - Or try replying in the right place, you fucking idiot.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:29

"The Beverly Hillbillies" lived in a mansion.(:

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:38

Lol Enslaved. Shhh

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:43

That's TV for you.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 9:51

It's just like "you can take the person out of the ghetto but can't take the ghetto out of the person". I'd say it's the same in the hillbilly's case.(: No?

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Sunday 11 September 2011 18:50

I'd say rednecks would buy one and play Billy Ray Cyrus. You rarely see hillbillies. ...but I'm from south Alabama, you don't have to take my word for it.

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:55

Haha that is awesome. Just play some really loud heavy metal music.

btstig 11

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:55

LMFAO!!!! You can take the trailer out the park but .....

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Sunday 11 September 2011 11:07

You can't take the park out of the trailer....??

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Sunday 11 September 2011 12:00

Wtf

btstig 11

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Sunday 11 September 2011 16:06

You got me on that one 59. Sounded good at 2 this morning.

beaglegun2009 4

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Sunday 11 September 2011 21:47

We don't all live in frekin trailers I am a hillbilly and I live in a 3 story house! Y'all are just a bunch of stereotypes!

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Sunday 11 September 2011 23:15

113- ... They're not stereotypes, but are stereotyping... And I'm from northern Arkansas and have never met a hillbilly, just a thousand rednecks.

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Monday 12 September 2011 1:20

R u Irish??? U look Irish...don't worry I'm Irish to but I don't have red hair I'm a blonde...and ya I know this is random...

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Sunday 11 September 2011 8:58

At least their not singing Friday

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 9

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 642

You deserved it 144

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 91