By lifesucksbigtimefuys - 04/12/2011 08:36 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 629
You deserved it 26 659

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So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.

ingridpingrid 4

Ah, what we do for love..


ingridpingrid 4

Ah, what we do for love..

I wouldn't say we, because I know that I would never be someone's "emergency gay friend." and most self respecting people wouldn't for that matter. Shame on OP..

Bitch shutup.

yamatelle 19

Well OP, you fucked up and your chances are now slim to none. I suggest using this to your advantage and ask her if you can touch her boobs. Your excuse would be that you have always wanted to have a pair and want to know what it feels like. This can be the only time you can randomly ask a girl something like this without getting slapped or kicked in the nuts. Somehow make this a win situation for yourself.

Yes. Everyone knows that gay friends get to look at and touch the breasts and private parts of their girl friends.

Thats worse than being friend-zoned. A moment of silence...

zurisbloodyrose 0

Okay. I see why you're upset but I need to rant for a second or four. I absolutely HATE when people insist on being someones friend just because they're gay. It annoys the crap out of me. People will come up to me "Zuri! my favourite lesbian!" and that's all there is. Nothing else. So, yeah, OP you're basically being used. I'd suggest trying to find someone else to fall for or confess. Quickly! Go now! Run! AAAHHHHH *'splodes* I HAVE NO IDEA.

n_epic_fail 14

Hmmmm.... I have no witty comment OP, FYL

Zuri you certainly sound like an interesting friend to have.

"Ah, what we'd do to be used..." sounds like a better sentence. I don't think the situation that OP has gotten themselves into can be viewed as "love," at all.

zurisbloodyrose 0

Blue, I'm not entirely sure if you're serious, by thanks.

I meant that in a good way of course. Your "splodes" part of the comment made me chuckle.

Maybe if she knew you werent gay then something could happen. You have to tell her op.

The fact that you said "yes" explains why you're in this situation -.-

This FML reminds me of the movie Kick Ass

And Chuck and Larry. When he see her naked and tries to hide his boner lol!

uridea 14

I was thinking the exact same thing about kick ass, but I don't think in his case it will work out to his advantage lol.

55, I think you mean an interesting lesbian friend to have. Lesbian is the keyword here, because gay people are always defined by who they are attracted to don't you know... Sadly, many gay people actually embrace this annoying image. So the cycle perpetuates itself and those who have the common sense to identify themselves as human first and gay second get the to speak.

SenorJose89 4

Pride. You obviously have none at this point

leadrunner751 3

this sounds like Kick-Ass

Personal favorite of mine is being introduced by some of my friends "...and this is my Lesbian friend Sierra" or "this is Sierra *hand to side of mouth in a whisper* ...lesbian..."

Oh I agree #1

trueblue170 13

Damn, you beat me to it. XD

Well I had this friend who was a girl and she had a boyfriend and we have been friends for years and nothing has ever happened between us. I had a crush on her for a little but it passed and we became just good friends. I am completely straight but I inherited this insane ability to do a super convincing gay guy voice from my dad whose like a 12 year old at heart. I was also best friends with her boyfriend so I knew both pretty well, she came to me to talk when they Fought cuze i knew him well, and I would occasionally end up with me using my gay voice to cheer her up and I quickly became her "gay friend" =p Idc though in my situation cuze I have no feelings for this girl likely that anymore but I know how hard it is to have those feelings but have something blocking it, it sucked when I had a crush on her =

So you're not her boyfriend, you're not her gay friend, you're not her regular friend, you're not her emergency regular friend, you're her emergency pretending to be gay but actually straight friend. A bit pathetic no? Might wanna try and move up the food chain or move on to someone else.

1. Watch the movie Kick Ass. 2. ??? 3. You guys go out.

phoenixslayer69 4

1 pretend to be gay 2 ???? 3 profit

1 Gain her trust as the gay best friend 2 ????? 3 Let her turn you straight miraculously, and enjoy

shrdlu 28

Well, it works on TV.

Seriously.. OP you need to talk to we about this. I don't see it getting better any time soon..

SquishyPeaches 5

Where can I go to talk to we about this?

108- back to the English classroom...

SquishyPeaches 5

113 - I'll go, as soon as you start proof reading your comments.

Llama_Face89 33

113- that must be pretty embarrassing for you.

Be the gay friend and gain her trust enough that she goes shopping with you and brings you into the change room to help her try on bras. (Two and a half men reference)

shrdlu 28

Just what IS an "emergency gay friend" anyway? Is it someone who's a friend only in an emergency, like nobody else wants anything to do with the person?

kooner55 0

MaYou are an embarrassment to the human race

Actually I'd say your grammar would be more of an embarrassment.

zaleh 23

aren't we all?

If you say that to your Ma, you'll hurt her feelings D:

Awesome_Guy2468 0

Lol nice!

Awesome_Guy2468 0

To 96 I mean

Yeah? We don't care

To Gween, MaYou is actually the species of idiot that submit to FML.

You might wanna have a chat with her..

Just like in Kick-Ass

CrassKal 27

This could end up like it did in Kickass. Just sneak into her room in costume.

be sure to be a viral vigilante first tho

Once you get hit with the tennis racket you get to feel boobies.

It's spelled "KICK-ASS!"

Well...any chick flick that starts like this ends with the guy slowly growing closer and closer to the girl until they fall in love. So in Hollywood you would be set :D

Unfortunatly, this isn't creeptastic Hollywood Romcomtopia...

My initial thought was to ask OP if he's living in an 80s John Williams teen comedy. Is your crush Molly Ringwald?!

Do you mean John Hughes? John Williams is a bad ass composer...

1) The girl you like thinks you're gay. 2) If she finds out the truth, then you're a liar who pretended to be gay in order to get closer to her. I don't see this going well for you.

What's your profile pick of and I agree, he's screwed.

technically, he can say he meant the old gay (happy). then he isn't lying, and proving he isn't gay (homosexual).

MattRoseen 12

14- If I had to make an educated guess....I'd say it's an X-Ray of a woman pelvis with a condom stuck inside from recent sex.

perdix 29

I can see the girl getting a massive ego boost from being able to convert her gay friend into a straight boyfriend. Of course, she'll have to have some hard evidence that he really was gay at some point.

flockz 19

ok this is what you do. plan a nice 'date' at a fancy restaurant. make sure it's a seafood restaurant though, you might get mixed feelings if it isn't. tell her that it's just going to be a nice dinner among friends. then, as she is driving to the restaurant, call her and tell her that you're going to be a few minutes late prepping your 'fabulous outfit'. then while she is ordering her second glass of wine, start sucking a dick. then she'll know for sure you were gay at some point.

42-It didn't look like a condom to me before but now that you mention it I think you're right.

If she finds out, all he has to say is he's bi

dreamer9614 3

14- it actually looks like a nuvaring. If you look up there's like a pin or something going through her spine/pelvis. I think that's the interesting part of the picture, not the ring.

You're all wrong about the picture. That thing going "through his spine" is just a heart monitor lead and its wire. The ring you see is a cock ring. This was a patient of mine who was a drunk driver in a car accident...while wearing a cock ring. I didn't ask.

drawmesunshine 17

You mean to say that's not normal? Well, *ahem,* would you excuse me? I must find the nearest bathroom.

Llama_Face89 33

94- HA! That's amusing. I'm gonna have to see if my dad has stories like that about his patients.

New pic doc. Out comes the bottle and in goes the dildo....

flockz 19

is your name doormat? don't let people walk all over you. stand up to her, tell her exactly how you feel, and hopefully you won't get shot down. if you do, there's always more fish in the sea.

Inciter 33

Why did you say yes? If you don't want her to think you're gay, don't bother pretending that you are.

Ironripster 0

well u will finally see her naked....

fernclogger 5

Yes he sees her naked and gets a boner she asks why he has one then he could say something like I guess I'm not really gay and bam!