By CaseyFpC85 - 11/09/2011 15:13 - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 236
You deserved it 7 925

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Top comments

Britttx26 0

You got yourself a winnnner!:)

I don't wanna break it to u, but ur not the father...... It's chipotle


Britttx26 0

You got yourself a winnnner!:)

C-Section or vaginally?

Jaimegirl 7

Huge dump baby... oh god

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

Sounds like she needs to go back into her shell a little bit. Seriously, why would you think that's appropriate? I am married and have a six month old son and I still turn on the sink faucet so my husband doesn't hear my lady business.

Eggers 2

shes a champ

MyReinvention55 7

Number 16 your a retard have a sense of humor sheesh guess your kid will turn out a prude also.

i agree with 38

I'm with 16. And believe me, I'm no prude. I turn on the restroom radio myself because I don't like wasting water. Lol There's nothing wrong with remaining ladylike in some things. In the bed is another story! (:

fakeaccountX 6

I doubt you're the father...

gunmania0 12

I find that weirdly attractive...

....But girls don't poop....?

bitchslapped22 14

How can people give this a YDI?

fthislyfe 22

92 was obviously being sarcastic! why did you give it thumb downs? Sadly, people think a girl shouldn't poop, fart, burp, etc and that's stupid...

But I thought girls shit rose petals and sunshine !

But I thought girls shit rose petals and sunshine !

But I thought girls shit rose petals and sunshine !

yoursucklives 36

she's a keeper ;)

92 - Girls do poop, but only rainbows and rose petals :)

LiveLaughFML 10

awe. that's not cute :')

@126 - Because he chose to date her?!

Awww she has your nose

Haha she's a keeper!

Mean_Mr_Mustard 9

38- Just because I don't talk about or let people hear my bathroom noises does not make me a prude. I have manors and class, I don't talk about private business with other people. That's trashy. I bet you think women like Ke$ha are the hottest women out there. I smell like flowers, excuse myself to pass gas, eat smaller bites so I don't smack my food, burp silently and behind a napkin, etc. Because I am a LADY, maybe you should meet a really lady so you know how they are supposed to act.

ppatty 0

181- your 20 yrs old but I think u won with that comment lol

kashmanwiggar 10

It sounds like you are a prude and need to remove the stick out of your ass

tjv3 10

roflmao she is now on my hero list.... she got a sister lol

epicphails 0

Run JUST RUN!!!!!

181 - You have manors? Damn, you must be hella rich.

132- RayWilliamJohnson reference?.. :D

Madiluvsyuh98 2

16- wow! Thats the most thumbs down ive ever seen!

181, I like you cause I'm the same way. :)

Thanks 129 but my comment seems to be rather thumbed up if I do say

Really, lady? I'm 20, and I burp all the time, I fart, and yup I take shits. I eat just as much as any man, and screw taking smaller bites. You just need to grow up and learn that it's called being comfortable around others. You are indeed a prude.

OneNightStan 2

-16- Take it easy we are all humans after all

Holy cow you have manors?!? I wish I was that rich, talk about fancy s***. If you have class learn to spell dear, it makes you look like trash when you can't.

ppatty 0

lmao epic win 222

Good for you.

I'll file this under "who gives a shit?"

MyScrewedUpLifeS 0

she's a keeper.

lmngrl889 14

some men are so ignorant

cajunkid 0


My farts smell like fruitloops. & my poop is rainbow, glittery, & smells like roses.

Bahahah it's true rwj FTW

For being gullible

You disgust me. Ladies are not SUPPOSED to act any certain way. People with CLASS act that way. By that comment you are proliferating unjust stereotypes. Also, if you plan on harping about them so much, learn to spell properly. MANNERS!

wow.. best. arguement. ever. haha and btw, you can hide the sound with a radio or music from your phone, but you don't need to waste water -.-" that's what gets me mad.. you'd rather hide the sound of pee hitting water than saving the earth. people these days...

Umm #16-181#.... I'm married, and I have a 9 month old son. My husband and I joke about our bodily functions, why? Because its fucking human! All humans shit, fart, burp, drool, eat ....and that includes women. Actually if your husband was with you in your delivery room and saw you pushing, sweating, bleeding in all your glory, then I don't think he would mind hearing you fart, or burp or any other function. That's called being comfortable in your love life sweetie, so step out of your damn shell.

Guys, really. Although I do not agree with 181, you cannot base your argument on "OH YOUR WASTING WATER!" Last time I checked, water is recycled, along with the fact that even if it isnt, it will evaporate and come back to us as rain in rivers, etc. Find a new basis for fighting.

laurbear12 3

279- YOU'RE a retard

I'm with 16

277, You are completely right. My wife (who I did see giving birth to our daughter) and I joke about everything. She laughs when I clog the toilet, and I laugh when she throws up the 'invisible wall'. 181, you really shouldn't feel ashamed of anything your body does, it's all natural.

C'mon, that's funny! Lol

droolybaby 2

so you were disappointed that you were only the "Dump" Baby-Daddy? Sounds like a good band name to me...

ppatty 0

agree^ lol

cocknblock 0

Being a lady doesn't mean you do those things...this isn't just described your self as a boring annoying person with no personality or sense of humor...those qualities usually belong to stuck up b....

ppatty 0

lol I agree ^

You're a LADY ON HER PERIOD is what you are...sheesh stfu

306- I'm soo glad people agree. I can't imagine what type of world we would be in today if all men and women thought like #16-181#, that was back in the golden ages..... lol. and were farr from that time period.

chocolemonade 6

181- People like you piss me off. In case you didn't realize...Women are in fact human as well! Strange concept I know. Fucking people need to get over themselves, seriously! Hiding your own natural, normal bodily functions does not make you a "lady", it means you think we still live in the 50's and think women need to be these perfect pretty beings for their men. Fuck no. I poop, I piss, my father applauds my raging burps, I eat like I like food and sometimes I don't smell like rainbows, daisies and fucking sunshine. If that doesn't make me a "lady" in your book then sorry. I'm not a "lady", I'm a damn human being

jayer_hooo 0

atleast she's got a sense of humor??? mayb? idk that's just weird!

CookieMonstr19 0

Don't forget cupcakes and happiness!!!! :D

#16 you're an idiot, if you can't be comfortable and laugh with your husband who can you do it with? Jeez.

your a 'lady' huh? you sound boring as fuck.

16 what's so wrong with being comfortable with your loved one? Learn to live a little

Personally i prefer a tomboyish girl to a prim and proper one anyday. They're more fun.

#16, You've got your head so far shoved up your ass you're looking out your own mouth. It's people like you that make me lose faith in humanity. Good gracious, you're quite pompous for a little child, aren't you?

That's the best kind of baby!

himynameischeese 6

Wow that's the kind of girl any parent would like. Unless they don't have a sense of humor. Then, well, your screwed.

NotAPedo 0

Mannn... This means I've been flushing my babies down the toilet all this time???

So girls can get pregnant by doing anal?

NzaHaFML 13

So.... is it a boy or a girl?

Actually, food babies are the best type of babies.

Food babies turn into dump babies. They're part of the evolutionary process.

MerrikBarbarian 9

kinda like pokemon? XD

Yes it's the circle of life

LolMoqz 10

I bet you were about to book it(x

Besides the prom night dumpster babies.

I bet he'll grow up and go to Brown.

auntiemomma 0

the girls making shit jokes. great.

It's a boy!!! Congrats!!!

bigguy123456 2

Have you decided on the name yet?? May i suggest alfred..

livelaughcheer_2 2


You must have been like "WTF?"

You must have thought your comment was funny.

okiidokii_fml 6

No he must have thought FML

*Thumbs down #5*

*thumbs up 267 thumbing down 5*

MichellinMan 20

Holy fuck leave him alone he didn't do anything wrong

Lmao ur face must've been priceless

How many pounds and ounces was the little guy?

6 lbs 4 ounces. A healthy little shit to be sure.

futtbuck101 1

Might as well name it shithead.

drewfus2 6

160 My Death profile pic is way cooler than yours. :)

bizarre_ftw 21

170 holy fuck it took me a minute to realize you two weren't the same person (I usually just look at pics)

No, I like his more then yours 170. Personal preference and such.

I agree with 213.

You know "kut" is another word for vagina in dutch?

perdix 29

You're going to have shit kids. Don't feel bad, lots of parents do their best and still end up with shit kids.

lolololer 8

both types of shit kids flush their life down the toilet anyway :P

She's a real keeper.

Yeah, a real classy lasy

akichan15 5

in the basement.

Yeah... she just screams "class"!

What a cutie..