By Anonymous - 04/08/2011 03:27 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 055
You deserved it 28 174

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Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?

BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....

Comments

Can you even get off while crying?

Yes, it is, if your a masochistic you love crying when you wank. sounds horrible, but to the it's a great time.

Tears make the best lube.

you sound like a total man for jacking off while crying alone

You... deserve it?

Sorry 24 but, when would you jack off while crying without being alone? xD.

good job stating the obvoise assclown

Dude really? Your pathetic kill your self NOW, bc your a failure at life

Sorry, I didn't know there was such a thing as "stating the obvoise" But I think you obviously need to learn how to spell/ insult someone ;).

They're both cathartic.

I microwave babies.

children's tears make the best lube for pedobear.

I fail to see the constructive part here. But good on you for multitasking. Going at it while thinking of dead puppies must be harder than it sounds.

I didn't know a man could multi-task so well. Congratulations OP!

51, at least he knows how to spell assclown, because that's what he is.

forever alone...

My question is what are you getting off on? This is odd.

Hey OP, be happy that you only have to cry to get off. Some guys can only get off while wearing a Batman suit and strangling themselves; you know that's how Kenny died.

Plentyoffish.com?

wish I remembered what I said to get my comment moderated.

oh god...if you're going to insult someone do it properly FFS!!!

Multitasker!! Thats what the look for in an employee :)

It sounds pretty depressing...

So that's how he died ?

Now you need to get out more.... Good luck with life

Oh my dear you lonely lonley guy go fuck a fattie there gratful for the attention ( this is a quote to The Inbetweemers which is a british tv show (movie out Aug 19th 2011) i have no problem with fat people :)

2- You're stupid. OP you're a loser

I thought this fml said vaginaly reconstructed for some reason

Was perhaps another man wanking you in the car and a 5 year old saw...?

lame FML reference >_>

BUT I CRIED THE WHOLE!! oh wait u didnt have sex.....

Try playing twister. that's fun and constructive

60- I think op needs to play twister with an attractive lady friend if he's gonna play twister.

Preferably in their underwear.

Naked twister with girls is the way to go.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Sees ad in paper... “ am looking for a fun gal to play twister with”

Lonely Island FTW

No clue what you said to many fancy words

Did you at lease understand wanking?

I understood wanking crying and silmutaniusly but that about it, so i just asume he was crying while wanking

36, he never said closet ..

#67 I think he meant closest

You could've grabbed a dictionary or go a website, helpful shiz dawg for all your word problems. If your on a phone, theres an app for that.

You're a moron.

Please don't reproduce

Please don't reproduce

Please don't reproduce

Please don't reproduce

Captain obvious its obvious'ly your a idoit

"Captain Obvious it's obvious that you're an idiot." Derp.

140- Seriously? Don't talk if you can't.

I would call you retarded but that would be offensive...to retarded people

Get a lady friend...

46 volunteer yourself plz :)

Painting, arts and crafts suckkkkkkk

Or keep doing what he's already doing. He seems good at it

Are you so bad you can't even satisfy yourself? e.e... I'm sorry, this is just pathetic.. Crying and masturbating? masturbation guilt? I.. I can't even fathom this. How can you even get off while crying?

Some people are into really strange stuff.

is there even such a thing a guilt form a wank? coz I haven't heard about it

he has a crying fetish

Probably watching the end of witchblade.

EXACTLY what I was thinking. Pretty sure I couldn't get off while crying...

Maybe he used his tears as lube... Lol.

Sounds like fun. Now if only u could challenge that kind of effort into more positive pursuits.

Ewww disgusting

I think he's quite far away from 'well', I might even go as far as saying he's unwell.

"When masturbation's lost it's fun, you're fucking lonely." Old school green day anyone?

Heeelllll yeeeaaahhh!!!

it's the other way around retard your less lonley because you have a girl after sex one could argue jacking off gets boring