Miscellaneous: Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine...

By Anonymous - United States

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

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15084

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Miscellaneous

BO Central

Serious times

F is for Family

By pauper

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

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25202

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By Username - United States

Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42050

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2710

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By Murphy’s Christmas

Today my husband blew a tire in a hidden pothole on the way to work. I picked him up in my car later that day, only to hit an entirely different pothole, bending my rim and catapulting my hubcap into the woods. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2573

You deserved it

172

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By :( - Sweden - Ume

Today, my grandma reduced me to a sobbing wreck in two short sentences, just to win a bet against my mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40610

You deserved it

4805

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By danyelicindereli - United States

Today, I was standing around looking out the window at work when it became really dark and windy and started to pour. I watched a shopping cart fly across the parking lot thinking how funny it'd be if it hit someone's car. It hit mine. I need a new headlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21195

You deserved it

48037

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By mickymoose1

Stinky

Today, my dog decided to play with a skunk. Today is also the day I figured out that no matter how much you wash everything that's come in contact with the smell, it will never go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1284

You deserved it

124

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By oh my soul

Today, it's been 1 month since I've accepted that I'm gay, 1 week since telling my strict, southern baptist, bible-thumping parents, 1 day since my mom stopped crying and my dad finally spoke to me, and 1 hour since discovering that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5766

You deserved it

2012

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By LilaTheGreat - United States - Boyd

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23487

You deserved it

44116

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By Baskets-Tailleur - France

Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48420

You deserved it

4873

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By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38449

You deserved it

4008

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By coffeeshopgirl - United Kingdom

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41750

You deserved it

4460

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By toomuchmetal - United States

Today, I was in line at a checkout. I have quite a few facial piercings and 1/2" gauges in my ears. The very heavy cashier asks how big my gauges are and then starts telling me about how she recently got her clitoris pierced and how sometimes she has orgasms behind the register. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73976

You deserved it

13631

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By waternixie - Malaysia - Rembau

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33130

You deserved it

5329

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By notawizard - Spain

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33266

You deserved it

94931

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By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, someone was getting beat up by 6 guys. When I tried to help, they had a swing at me as well. The cops came when I was enthusiastically defending myself. They got away, I got arrested. FML

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37589

You deserved it

4142

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By Anonymous - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

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26795

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47634

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By Anonymous - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19676

You deserved it

5772

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By Klepto - United States

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to the guy who had the party I was at last night. I immediately realized, however, that my new profile picture is of me, smiling and holding the trophy I stole from his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6279

You deserved it

73066

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By whyme - United States - Crescent

Today, my friends and I went out for drinks. I'm the only one who's actually 21 or over, and they have fake IDs. Not only was I the only one to be carded, the bartender thought that my actual ID was fake. I got kicked out while my friends kept drinking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56386

You deserved it

4447

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML

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35020

You deserved it

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By hannahj88 - Australia

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32215

You deserved it

3280

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By Hahaha - United States

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

11676

You deserved it

40133

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By Anonymous - 16/7/2021 22:01

"Tubular Bells" starts playing…

Today, my husband is terminal and insisted on making his last confession. Long story short, the priest came out pale and sweating and told me, in no uncertain terms, that my husband is definitely going to Hell, but won’t tell me why. FML

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1452

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By ._. - United Kingdom - Letchworth

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

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92602

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8825

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By SpaceAstronaut - United States

Today, I decided to take a nap while listening to my iPod, on the lowest volume possible. My girlfriend woke me up by turning the volume all the way up. I still can't hear out of both ears. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30714

You deserved it

5205

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By hamsterlovinn - United States

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

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77979

You deserved it

5412

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend kept pressuring me to get it on. I told him I was self-conscious abut my stomach and didn't want him to see it. His response? My double chin doesn't keep him from kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27756

You deserved it

8181

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By Mamaofdrama

Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1882

You deserved it

310

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By SexyQueen0905

Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32566

You deserved it

11995

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By NotYourDaddy

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6335

You deserved it

538

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By anonymous - United States - Indiana

Today, my boyfriend picked his nose and tried to stick his booger up my nose, claiming that it was time to plant his "seed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

24398

You deserved it

2888

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By Anonymous - United States

Bounced

Today, I was at a metal concert and I met a really cute girl. We got talking, and started getting close. We were about to kiss during the transitional period between 2 bands, but I was then pulled away by her father, who owned the venue. I was thrown out. Before the main act. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1932

You deserved it

218

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By texasrose921 - United States - Springfield

Today, as a student reporter for our college newspaper, I interviewed the president of my university. I was surprised to get an interview with him, and because of my nerves, as soon as I walked into his office I tripped over my own feet and fell face first into the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20620

You deserved it

2739

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By IndieRox - United States

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44368

You deserved it

3275

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By Fmylife.25 - United States

Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35994

You deserved it

6144

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By stupidbullcrêpe - Brazil - Santos

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27058

You deserved it

6246

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By Tabby - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28501

You deserved it

3832

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48639

You deserved it

6623

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By Shell - United States

Today, I was working at Chuck-E-Cheese. If that isn't enough, I was put in the mouse costume. Due to the disgusting hot smell and atmosphere in the costume, I fainted in front of a birthday party. I awoke to a little boy screaming who then kicked me in the face and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56254

You deserved it

4398

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By The Cat Tickler

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

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1780

You deserved it

1354

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Top comments

By _Noon_ | 0

#532471 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:09

You guys do get the double meaning of 'right' in this FML, right? So of course it's an FML.

By pentameter | 0

#532459 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

I almost put you suck, and then I noticed your username. So, sir, you fucking fail.

COMMENTS

By icertainlysuck | 0

#532447 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

pentameter | 0

#532459 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

I almost put you suck, and then I noticed your username. So, sir, you fucking fail.

icertainlysuck | 0

#532467 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:08

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

pentameter | 0

#532474 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:09

Do you even know what the word pentameter means? By the way, douche, any insult that references someone's mother is not a satisfactory insult. Want a re-do?

22jrdn55 | 15

#532476 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

congrats on being first!!
dont worry about the others, they're just haters

Unregistered | 0

#532479 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

I WANT HAZ ATTENTION SO I POST UNDER FIRST WOoOoOOoOo

MsTs1 | 0

#532563 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:45

OMG IM FIRST LOLOL

lazorzpewpew | 0

#532568 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:46

aw dood we iz coo

mannix_fml | 0

#532722 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:29

You guys are fucking hilarious! Go on please.

cheese1756 | 0

#532727 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:31

we know you suck, troll

liveBabylon | 0

#532936 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:44

NO I'M FIRST :)

aprettycoolguy | 0

#533277 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 3:50

Does this happen on a regular basis around here? A chain of trolls all lined up here?

And yes, I am a troll.

ninaaftermath | 0

#533638 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 7:31

Yeah being first is totally cool. I wish someday I can be first and therefore be as cool as icertainlysuck

egaonogenki | 0

#533861 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 11:34

Something iambic and Shakespearean.

the_lololagist | 11

#542727 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:02

Do we really need to be getting this nasty over a freaking number? Honestly.

irokyoursox | 6

#2371275 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 7:25

are you guys gonna eat your tots

B47m4n | 0

#2711621 - Saturday 18 June 2011 22:35

lmao

Zombie_Cotton | 1

#3464532 - Friday 21 October 2011 4:57

I love you.

jennifo | 7

#7516504 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 2:11

He who taketh the first serving getteth the parsley stuck in thy teeth.

By roarrx88 | 0

#532448 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

not that bad.!

JojoChuo | 8

#2264727 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:47

Yeah right? Op just needs to take it back the lazy bugger!

By justdancebbyx3 | 7

#532455 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Not an FML...and who the fuck cares if you're 1st? Get a life.

where_i_stood | 0

#532477 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

You're right,
It's not really a FML.
All he has to do is return it and get another one.

Gargananana | 1

#532678 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:12

Not all FMLs have to be life-changing. It's funny, that's all that matters. Stop posting this stupid shit in every FML that isn't a huge deal.

mister_moops | 0

#532709 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:23

the thing about that is it isn't funny.

mandyreid_ | 0

#532923 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:41

you care enough to comment on it

the_stereotype | 0

#532992 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:57

it's not really funny, considering the joke is so over used

By mich23 | 10

#532457 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

wow sucks, why dont you return it and get the correct one

dudeitsdanny | 9

#532814 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:01

This is fake.
He's from the US, so the left side and the driver's side are the same sides..
How can he buy it for the wrong side if he asked correctly, and you responded correctly?

ghostgirll | 0

#532820 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:04

because he responded with the word "right," by which the person buying the car thought he meant that he wanted the mirror on the RIGHT side of the car. get it?