Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine...

By Anonymous - 1/9/2009 16:25 - United States

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15066

You deserved it

47263

Favorite

Miscellaneous

Rock, hard place

Race against the clock

Bad news

By passedoutpolly - 1/8/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, I went to a huge rock concert. While waiting in a half a mile long line to get in, I passed out due to the heat. I regained consciousness to hear about a hundred people yelling and trying to help me. My boyfriend, who I went with, was not one of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47227

You deserved it

3586

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/1/2012 20:59 - Canada

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26130

You deserved it

3840

Favorite

By Michelle - 9/1/2010 16:11 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling extremely nauseous. When I started to feel better, I felt like I needed to spit. I went into the bathroom and opened the toilet to see someone had taken a giant crap the night before and forgotten to flush. The smell made me vomit all over my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30578

You deserved it

3411

Favorite

By Andy - 27/2/2019 02:00

Today, while jetlagged and going through customs in Singapore, I grabbed what I thought was a pen to fill out the form. I heard it squeak as I lifted it up. It was a straw in the custom agent's drink. The resulting noise he made lasted 10+ seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1864

You deserved it

360

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/9/2010 22:07 - United States

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56729

You deserved it

3952

Favorite

By eggman 583 - 13/9/2016 21:12 - United States - Massapequa

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I was, "trying to change her." A week ago I asked her to stop talking to the 6 guys that have all previously asked her for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12455

You deserved it

1155

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 09:11 - United States

Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29000

You deserved it

2535

Favorite

By Fucked4life - 18/4/2018 20:30

Today, I've been dating my boyfriend for 6 years. I've had a really bad week and am feeling depressed, and he knows this. He's also just decided to tell me he has a two-month-old daughter. We do not have an open relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5109

You deserved it

320

Favorite

By daddylove - 12/6/2011 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. I was crying for over an hour in my room. My dad came in and asked what was wrong. Just as I was about to tell him, he stops me and simply says "Oh, honey. I don't care... Just keep the noise down." Then walks out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48322

You deserved it

6888

Favorite

By moncheri1314 - 10/9/2010 16:13 - France

Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26420

You deserved it

4423

Favorite

By Anonymous - 11/1/2018 19:00

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and my boyfriend thought it would be cute to carry me to bed. He knocked my head on the door frame and I pretended it didn't hurt because he felt so bad, but I shouldn't have. I was rushed to the hospital hours later with a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4819

You deserved it

533

Favorite

By Johnnogood - 9/10/2012 13:57 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28708

You deserved it

2231

Favorite

By hopeless - 6/7/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25744

You deserved it

6976

Favorite

By Anonymous - 7/11/2014 23:59 - Canada - Halifax

Today, I finally found out why my husband is always so eager and happy to buy me whatever I am craving during my pregnancy. It's because it gives him an excuse to meet up with his mistress and have a quickie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62501

You deserved it

4028

Favorite

By AnatomyLecture - 22/1/2017 14:00

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that the size of a man's penis is not proportional to his height. He was insecure because he's 5'6" and assumed everyone taller had a bigger penis than him. He's 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6734

You deserved it

639

Favorite

By EaglEye - 2/11/2016 08:29

Today, I found out that even though I suffer from insomnia most days, I can sleep within 5 minutes of studying Solid Mechanics, especially when I have an end term the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9274

You deserved it

785

Favorite

By Ugh - 5/11/2012 02:08 - United States - Dublin

Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML

I agree, your life sucks

32720

You deserved it

9800

Favorite

By balletteacher - 8/9/2012 20:32 - United States

Today, I realized my acne looks like star constellations. I've already found the Little Dipper on my left cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22146

You deserved it

2561

Favorite

By NinjaPanda88 - 1/8/2009 07:44 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

73717

You deserved it

16823

Favorite

By meggs2209 - 12/1/2012 20:06 - United States

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36826

You deserved it

2936

Favorite

By - 30/8/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

10 out 10 for execution

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1121

You deserved it

538

Favorite

By fEk - 22/3/2019 09:00 - Australia

Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1874

You deserved it

296

Favorite

By David Wicker - 9/9/2020 08:02

Laughs in socialized healthcare

Today, I sleep on the floor every night because my cat has punctured three air mattresses. I was going to get a real bed with my stimulus check, but I broke my leg and had to pay for the doctor's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1317

You deserved it

205

Favorite

By Eminnis - 31/8/2015 03:27 - United States - Woodland Park

Today, I walked in on my dad completely naked. When I expressed my displeasure, he told me to knock next time. I'd agree with him, if he hadn't been standing in the middle of the hallway in our very open living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24162

You deserved it

1624

Favorite

By xo007 - 4/11/2009 17:40 - United States

Today, as I stepped into the shower, I slipped and fell over the edge of the tub, pulling the shower curtain down with me. I called my roommate to help me up as I put on a towel over me. But before she could help me up, she grabbed her phone to take a picture. The picture became a mass text. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32661

You deserved it

3721

Favorite

By doomed - 9/6/2009 01:28 - New Zealand

Today, the girl I am in love with invited me to stay with her in Europe for 2 weeks, she is even paying for the flights and accommodation. It's because I am such a special friend to her and she wants me to come up to meet her fiancé before she gets married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

67515

You deserved it

6242

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/9/2018 03:30

Today, I finally found out why I got a D in a class last semester. It was a heavily attendance-based class, and apparently he only marked you present if you participated in class discussion. It was a 100-seat lecture. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2744

You deserved it

310

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/3/2016 08:49 - United States - Crestview

Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18284

You deserved it

5159

Favorite

By w_t_f - 18/2/2009 09:16 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63024

You deserved it

5231

Favorite

By - 18/1/2020 05:00

Very frustrating

Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him full force dead center in the chest right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2276

You deserved it

231

Favorite

By notsohandy - 3/1/2014 22:08 - Denmark - Hadsten

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69701

You deserved it

8093

Favorite

By haley - 16/11/2018 14:00

Today, while in a parking lot, I accidentally cut someone off out of pure nervousness as I'm a new driver. I got out of my car to apologize, and they responded by beating me and my car to a pulp with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3405

You deserved it

426

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/5/2016 17:51 - United States - Westfield

Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11988

You deserved it

1622

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/7/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7270

You deserved it

62296

Favorite

By Noname - 4/2/2009 11:23 - Canada

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24038

You deserved it

38696

Favorite

By sadsadperson - 7/9/2011 08:51 - Australia

Today, I lied to my diary about getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44788

You deserved it

30707

Favorite

By Alicia - 21/1/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32181

You deserved it

6270

Favorite

By Anonymous - 3/2/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39150

You deserved it

2894

Favorite

By hot coffee - 12/7/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Farnham

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14747

You deserved it

27020

Favorite

By Mrs. W. - 11/8/2015 00:32 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, a kid on a bike passed me and commented on my "big fat butt." Recognizing him from the neighborhood, I told my husband to go speak to his parents about the inappropriate comment. It turns out his father is the man who yesterday commented on my "big bouncing tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks

25324

You deserved it

2361

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By _Noon_ | 0

#532471 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:09

You guys do get the double meaning of 'right' in this FML, right? So of course it's an FML.

By pentameter | 0

#532459 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

I almost put you suck, and then I noticed your username. So, sir, you fucking fail.

COMMENTS

By icertainlysuck | 0

#532447 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

pentameter | 0

#532459 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

I almost put you suck, and then I noticed your username. So, sir, you fucking fail.

icertainlysuck | 0

#532467 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:08

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

pentameter | 0

#532474 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:09

Do you even know what the word pentameter means? By the way, douche, any insult that references someone's mother is not a satisfactory insult. Want a re-do?

22jrdn55 | 15

#532476 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

congrats on being first!!
dont worry about the others, they're just haters

Unregistered | 0

#532479 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

I WANT HAZ ATTENTION SO I POST UNDER FIRST WOoOoOOoOo

MsTs1 | 0

#532563 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:45

OMG IM FIRST LOLOL

lazorzpewpew | 0

#532568 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:46

aw dood we iz coo

mannix_fml | 0

#532722 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:29

You guys are fucking hilarious! Go on please.

cheese1756 | 0

#532727 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:31

we know you suck, troll

liveBabylon | 0

#532936 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:44

NO I'M FIRST :)

aprettycoolguy | 0

#533277 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 3:50

Does this happen on a regular basis around here? A chain of trolls all lined up here?

And yes, I am a troll.

ninaaftermath | 0

#533638 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 7:31

Yeah being first is totally cool. I wish someday I can be first and therefore be as cool as icertainlysuck

egaonogenki | 0

#533861 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 11:34

Something iambic and Shakespearean.

the_lololagist | 11

#542727 - Sunday 6 September 2009 5:02

Do we really need to be getting this nasty over a freaking number? Honestly.

irokyoursox | 6

#2371275 - Tuesday 19 April 2011 7:25

are you guys gonna eat your tots

B47m4n | 0

#2711621 - Saturday 18 June 2011 22:35

lmao

Zombie_Cotton | 1

#3464532 - Friday 21 October 2011 4:57

I love you.

jennifo | 7

#7516504 - Tuesday 1 August 2017 2:11

He who taketh the first serving getteth the parsley stuck in thy teeth.

By roarrx88 | 0

#532448 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

not that bad.!

JojoChuo | 8

#2264727 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:47

Yeah right? Op just needs to take it back the lazy bugger!

By justdancebbyx3 | 7

#532455 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:05

Not an FML...and who the fuck cares if you're 1st? Get a life.

where_i_stood | 0

#532477 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:10

You're right,
It's not really a FML.
All he has to do is return it and get another one.

Gargananana | 1

#532678 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:12

Not all FMLs have to be life-changing. It's funny, that's all that matters. Stop posting this stupid shit in every FML that isn't a huge deal.

mister_moops | 0

#532709 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 0:23

the thing about that is it isn't funny.

mandyreid_ | 0

#532923 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:41

you care enough to comment on it

the_stereotype | 0

#532992 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:57

it's not really funny, considering the joke is so over used

By mich23 | 10

#532457 - Tuesday 1 September 2009 23:06

wow sucks, why dont you return it and get the correct one

dudeitsdanny | 9

#532814 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:01

This is fake.
He's from the US, so the left side and the driver's side are the same sides..
How can he buy it for the wrong side if he asked correctly, and you responded correctly?

ghostgirll | 0

#532820 - Wednesday 2 September 2009 1:04

because he responded with the word "right," by which the person buying the car thought he meant that he wanted the mirror on the RIGHT side of the car. get it?