Work: Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered...

By kmctl - United States - San Francisco

Today, some guy walked into the restaurant I work at and ordered enough food to serve the entire National Guard of Texas. He thanked us by leaving a $0.50 tip and shitting on the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29857

You deserved it

1976

Favorite

Work

Thanks, I'm cured!

Property law

Phone call anxiety

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13748

You deserved it

43380

Favorite

By BearMan - United States

Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44959

You deserved it

4849

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Monterey Park

Today, I went on a job interview. The interviewer said it all went well, but he can't hire me because I've got a nose piercing, and that type of "image" isn't the kind they're looking for in their employees. This is the guy who had a full sleeve tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48290

You deserved it

7947

Favorite

By Anonymous

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Today, my mom told me my aunt was coming over. I told her I might have to work, and would be sad to miss her. My mom said, "Or, you know, if you're not there, it might be nice." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1329

You deserved it

233

Favorite

By Bella

Today, I finally managed to kiss the guy of my dreams. We pulled away and looked into each other's eyes, and he softly said, "You know I'm dating another girl right now, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

3078

You deserved it

506

Favorite

By me - United States

Today, I missed my bus, so I walked home in the rain from school, only to realize my mom had been following me the whole time in the car, laughing her ass off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41579

You deserved it

3958

Favorite

By noname - France

Today, I decide to go to my ex-girlfriend's house to bring her stuff back. I broke up with her earlier this week after a 2 year relationship, and I'd hoped she would have realized her mistake and ask me to stay for a bit and talk. I ring the doorbell and her new boyfriend opens the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26096

You deserved it

11064

Favorite

By Grinsporked

Bankers!

Today, after talking to the bank, I'd have to take a pay cut to qualify for a home loan. I'm still confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1551

You deserved it

126

Favorite

By farmakakis - Australia

Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5635

You deserved it

56453

Favorite

By Galaxy - Belgium - Guigoven

Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42381

You deserved it

7265

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boyfriend said that we can "maybe have sleepovers" at his house when he FINALLY moves out. He's 24, and we've been dating for 6 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28359

You deserved it

8051

Favorite

By OnPlanetVenus - United States - Hallam

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

I agree, your life sucks

71265

You deserved it

6125

Favorite

By Millian2 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I learned that when you take off your sweatshirt, it can get stuck in your braces. I was in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24943

You deserved it

3691

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Coventry

Today, I filled up my company car with my own debit card, instead of my fuel card. It was the last £40 I had for the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21875

You deserved it

6948

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Boston

Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17576

You deserved it

23253

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I learned there are people who will beat you up if you don't give them your spot on a bench. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3479

You deserved it

302

Favorite

By rock'n roller

Today, my bandmate and I decided to propose to our girlfriends, who are also in the band, at the same time in the middle of a concert. His girlfriend said yes. Mine ran off the stage crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55560

You deserved it

6433

Favorite

By Badlucked - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1696

You deserved it

361

Favorite

By clashgurl8449

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40324

You deserved it

4243

Favorite

By Anonymous - France - Bourges

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18682

You deserved it

64351

Favorite

By mu5icadd1ct

Today, my sister stole my bike and gave it to her boyfriend. When I told my parents, they said it was fine, because I wasn't using it anyway. The reason I wasn't using it was because it needed a new tire, and I was saving up for one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14526

You deserved it

885

Favorite

By spit saliva spit

Today, I drooled on myself during a job interview and was immediately dismissed. This isn’t the first time it’s happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1332

You deserved it

515

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 18:02 - United States - Cody

Seize the means

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

958

You deserved it

Favorite

By Lanthane - France - Bordeaux

Today, after living for a while with my husband and our cat, I'm still not sure which of the two leaves the most hairs strewn around the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17288

You deserved it

1824

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia - Canberra

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25545

You deserved it

1608

Favorite

By bademployee - United States - Portland

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29795

You deserved it

21516

Favorite

By Jer - United States - Louisville

Today, I knocked over a display case at a mall, shattering hundreds of dollars in goods. Embarrassed, I tried to scurry out of the nearest door without being seen. I scuttled right into the janitor's closet, the door automatically locking behind me. I waited for an hour to be let out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25032

You deserved it

48564

Favorite

By coyote - Japan

Today, I'm recovering from abdominal surgery. In addition to pain, I'm having trouble peeing and haven't pooped since Sunday, so my surgeon prescribed a laxative. Turns out I'm allergic to it. Now I'm covered in hives, even in my ears, incisions, and lady parts. I also still haven't pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40923

You deserved it

2782

Favorite

By ringhider - France

Today, I was working my shift at the restaurant as a waiter when the girl I've been in love with for 4 years came in with her boyfriend. He asked me to hide the ring in their dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48525

You deserved it

6907

Favorite

By female

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2788

You deserved it

338

Favorite

By Elsine

Today, after having to move home with my parents because I'm broke and can't seem to find a job, my mom found out I'm on anti-depressants. She and my dad will no longer be helping with money because she doesn't like "drugs". FML

I agree, your life sucks

3196

You deserved it

226

Favorite

By Cellphonetroubles - Canada

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7661

You deserved it

47874

Favorite

By Mr. Sniffles - United States - Hamilton

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41040

You deserved it

2604

Favorite

By anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that when I orgasm, my increased heart rate causes me to pass out. I also found out my boyfriend doesn't stop when I'm unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59082

You deserved it

8488

Favorite

By Alex - United States

Today, after spending $120 to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my mom, she called to complain that I had forgotten about her for Mother's day, but also praise my sister for apparently receiving my flowers I sent at the door and passing them off as hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13586

You deserved it

899

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada - Red Deer

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33460

You deserved it

2067

Favorite

By whatever - United States

Today, I went out with my ex-boyfriend on a date. The night consisted of me sitting in the back seat of his friend's truck while they drove around to pick up things for the party they were going to have that same night. After they picked everything up, he asked where I wanted to get dropped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40780

You deserved it

27305

Favorite

By Autumn

TMI

Today, while discussing my vegetable garden, my father's new girlfriend announced that she loves vegetables in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5172

You deserved it

399

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34866

You deserved it

9676

Favorite

By o___O" - Belgium - Brussels

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49948

You deserved it

4740

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Sneado | 20

#6297029 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

Looks like that's the perfect time to slip out on your break or lunch.

By Shadowvoid | 33

#6297028 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

That's an awkward experience, I certainly hope this isn't a normal occurrence where you work. I hope you get better tips and customers in the future

COMMENTS

By Shadowvoid | 33

#6297028 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

That's an awkward experience, I certainly hope this isn't a normal occurrence where you work. I hope you get better tips and customers in the future

californiapoppy | 11

#6297044 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:38

What some people think is an appropriate tip is embarrassing!

guesswhatlifesux | 14

#6297209 - Thursday 21 May 2015 13:40

#12 I wish I could like that 100 times, that is way too accurate

By Sneado | 20

#6297029 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

Looks like that's the perfect time to slip out on your break or lunch.

shemademedoit | 20

#6297101 - Thursday 21 May 2015 8:50

that's some expensive shit

By CallMeWindSock | 24

#6297030 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

He must've been drunk, or an asshole, but probably both.

By expertsmilee | 26

#6297031 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:30

Was all the food for him I wonder?

By Atomic_Mushroom | 14

#6297033 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:31

Sounds like a shitty situation!

(Overused pun alert)
I'll show myself out..

may14th | 26

#6297072 - Thursday 21 May 2015 8:01

you should've showed yourself before tapping validate!

ironmany_fml | 23

#6297552 - Thursday 21 May 2015 22:11

validate?

By FutBol_Fan_30 | 29

#6297035 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:32

Thaaaats nice. Very classy ?

By _Peppermint_ | 34

#6297036 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:34

Karma will get him.

By itssnotfunny | 24

#6297037 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:34

Sounds like his munchies didn't settle correctly.

By annabee95 | 22

#6297039 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:35

i work at a subway alone and I've had someone do something similar, then get pissed off when i couldn't make 30 subways (all different in salad and meats) fast enough.

By Pizzapiggy1 | 18

#6297043 - Thursday 21 May 2015 7:37

Manager: Who fucking shit on the floor of the bathroom?

You: *points towards tables*