Miscellaneous: Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves...

By Anonymous - 30/12/2014 04:17 - United States - Richardson

Today, our band had a road trip. Two people chose to stack themselves on top of each other to share a seat rather than sit in the last seat next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 955

You deserved it 3 274

Miscellaneous

Our house, in the middle of our street

Good kid

Family issues

By Anonymous - 25/09/2011 19:18 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at Gamestop, another customer and the cashier started chatting about how Pokémon is for kids, and anyone over 10 who's into it is weird. Embarrassed, I put the new Pokémon game back on the shelf and snuck out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 18 687

By angry - 04/11/2009 18:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 3 208

By noway6000 - 03/03/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, my parents left for work before I had to leave for school and I decided to skip. I stayed by the phone, expecting the school to call so I could pose as my parent and excuse my absence. The phone rings and I pick up. It's my Mom, calling to leave my dad a message on the machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 549

You deserved it 94 594

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 14:52 - United States - Hartford

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 981

You deserved it 3 355

BURN

By Anonymous - 14/01/2018 15:00

Today, at work, I cashed out a sweet old lady. As I handed her the bag, she looked at me kindly and said, "Don’t worry sweetie. It'll get better," to which I responded, "What will get better?" She smiled at me and said, "Your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 683

You deserved it 352

By lovely - 19/12/2011 06:43 - Netherlands

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 418

You deserved it 4 562

By - Moved Across the Country - 06/08/2011 06:05 - United States

Today, I found out my ex is applying for a job at my current company. She may be my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 528

You deserved it 3 797

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 497

You deserved it 3 787

Flattered

By Creeped out - 28/01/2013 08:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 130

You deserved it 3 698

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Brentwood

Today, I had to calm my rather gullible boyfriend down and reassure him that the email he got, telling him that he has AIDS, was just a scam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 607

You deserved it 4 353

By Vkaz - 02/10/2014 18:20 - United States - Tampa

Today, in the men's room a guy using the adjacent toilet dropped his phone, and it fell right next to my foot. The screen was facing upward, and looked like he was taking pictures of his junk in the office toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 074

You deserved it 3 125

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 20:21 - United States

Today, after spending two days cleaning my car inside and out, I had to pick up my brother when his truck died in the mountains, on a dirt road. He was drunk. I now have a car covered in mud and filled with vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 382

You deserved it 3 125

By failingdaily - 20/09/2014 02:27 - New Zealand - Paraparaumu

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 865

You deserved it 4 004

By FellingShitty - 05/10/2009 02:19 - United States

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 421

You deserved it 6 403

By Darryl - 12/05/2015 12:53 - Australia - Tarragindi

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend at work. Because she was "bored and didn't feel like seeing me" she thought it would be funny to call security and claim that I was stalking her. There is now a picture of my face at her workplace, and anytime I "pester her again" the cops will show up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 4 924

By bcoper - 25/06/2012 16:09 - Switzerland - Luzern

Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 199

You deserved it 2 622

By beatricesank - 23/05/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 885

You deserved it 6 621

By me - 24/04/2014 15:32 - United States - Paris

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 203

You deserved it 5 220

By vanguardwiley - 24/07/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 585

You deserved it 13 715

Zamboni please

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 05:01

Today, I took a part time job at McDonald’s and started working in the kitchen. The floor is so greasy, you can’t walk normally, you move around like you’re on an ice rink. With some momentum built up, you can even slide a couple of meters when no one is looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 119

By Godwhy - 17/09/2018 14:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 7 years has been cheating on me with my friend's 18-year-old sister, took her on the vacation we planned, and will be starting with my company next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 572

You deserved it 211

Sometimes, family shouldn't stick together

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 07:59

Today, I learned that my family only came to the state I live in because my great grandfather was caught molesting his own children. He was never convicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 43

By ElizaWy - 26/10/2016 15:52

Today, I celebrated my fifteen-week anniversary. No, not a relationship anniversary. A migraine anniversary. It won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 599

You deserved it 828

By Jim - 11/01/2012 01:32 - Belgium

Today, I told a co-worker to "lighten up, and stop wearing black all the time, it makes you look depressed." I didn't know his father had died the week before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 298

You deserved it 41 652

Lookalikes

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 13:58 - Germany - Bruchsal

Today, my boyfriend told me that his daughter only liked me because she thought that we look like siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 69

By married - 16/10/2010 12:31 - United States

Today, my sister and I were both on Facebook, updating our statuses. I set mine to "just got released from hospital with Baby Lily", as I'd had a baby earlier this week. My sister set hers to "menstrual blood smells like shrimp". Her status got 37 likes. Mine got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 480

You deserved it 7 231

By shandrith - 03/07/2009 14:16 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 329

You deserved it 252 481

By fatto - 30/05/2017 16:00 - Sweden

Today, I got up very early to join my fit, slim, husband for a morning walk, since I work from home, order food to be delivered, and barely leave the couch. Afterwards, he biked off to work, and I went straight back to bed. With some candy. Small steps, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 628

You deserved it 2 609

By Anonymous - 12/07/2012 06:40 - United States - Houston

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 237

You deserved it 4 687

By moosemay - 06/02/2016 11:42 - Germany - W?rzburg

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 170

You deserved it 2 054

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I was changing my shirt in the bathroom when I dropped it. It fell on my foot, so I decided to flip it up with my foot instead of bending down to get it. I flipped it, and it landed in the toilet. Which somebody had not flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 313

You deserved it 35 534

By BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 511

You deserved it 48 047

By Bad Mum? - 31/03/2019 23:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my eldest son told me he wishes he lived with his dad. This after I, two years ago, managed to get myself and my children out of the abusive situation we were in. Why? He didn't want to tidy his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 375

You deserved it 203

By Habit - 19/10/2011 22:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to my lectures is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 693

You deserved it 9 972

By damn - 04/01/2013 14:08 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 056

You deserved it 7 307

Best I can do is…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 05:00

Today, while working in my pawn shop, I was showing jewelry to a distinguished lady. I had to fart. I tried to wait. It was too much, so I let it slip silently. As she handled a $2000 necklace, I realized that the 2-foot counter between us would never save her from the foul poisonous cloud that had formed. She realized it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 712

You deserved it 311

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 13:37 - United States

Today, I applied for a passport. I was told the first set of photos I took were unusable because my face, particularly my chin, didn't fit inside the designated area for your face in the picture. My chin did fit in the frame, my double chin however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 244

You deserved it 43 600

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 16:30 - United States

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 596

You deserved it 5 405

By the_music_major - 19/10/2010 01:09 - United States

Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 390

You deserved it 4 070

Jingle bells

By anomynous - 03/12/2020 11:01

Today, I woke up with my period. At least I'm getting into the Christmas spirit with red and green shorts, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 116

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Top comments

Thinkitthrough 23

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:29

Sounds like you have room for your stuff and you can even relax and be comfortable :)

vlalam 24

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:29

their loss and your gain?

Thinkitthrough 23

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:29

Sounds like you have room for your stuff and you can even relax and be comfortable :)

desoxyn242 14

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:32

Yeah this is definitely a win. At first I thought they squeezed in next to him. Being claustrophobic, that would be FML for me!

Stephencharis 14

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 20:19

ask him if he actually has friends in the band...

Mf2307 15

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Wednesday 31 December 2014 5:41

maybe those two were in a relationship so they didnt want to sit apart depending on how the seats were

vlalam 24

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:29

their loss and your gain?

JayGatsby 25

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 20:18

I'm thinking that those two people were friends and wanted to sit together, but the last seat next to op was too far, so they decided to stack on top of each other so they could still talk to each other. Anyways, I hope that was the real reason, fyl op.

5secondsofvvifi 21

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 18:29

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

xninix_fml 36

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 19:14

To me it just sounds like his classmates.

xninix_fml 36

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Tuesday 30 December 2014 19:17

Ran out of time to edit here's what I meant to say: To me it sounds like they were just his classmates, still sucks for him though because nobody wanted to sit next to him. I'm sorry op :(