By Username - United States
  Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
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  OhbbyCx  |  6

"Today I had to pull over some idiot who was going way over the speed limit. He was sweating, so It seemed like he had something to hide. I told him to get out so I could pat him down, and what do I find? His penis was erect. FML."

  DerekBlaskie  |  6

Shoulda used the excitement in your pants as an opportunity to evade the ticket.. Hit on the cop it always works... Lol you'll need luck. Msg me your prison address, I'll send condoms.

  Jimster1712  |  0

Its an organic gun able to shoot sticky liquid that blinds the enemy for 5 seconds with a rate of fire of 3 shots per/org at a range of 1 meter. Most effective in close range. - National Firearms Foundation

  DoubleDose  |  0

Sir, you'd better stay back, this is a weapon of sexual destruction. Sir, I'm warning you it has the power to inflict Massive STD casualties in a 50 block radius.

Holy Shit a WSD, we need a road block and the hazmat division on the double!