By Username - 05/10/2011 00:02 - United States

Spicy
Today, on my way home, my girlfriend started sexting me, telling me that she was waiting at my house. In my rush to get home to see her, I got pulled over and had to be patted down. He found no weapons, but he did find my stiffy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 822
You deserved it 12 600

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What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

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Just be honest. If it was a guy cop he would probably understand why you were rushing. Hope it was worth the ticket!

So right lol

does't matter, had sext.

Can you just shut up now?

It's called tucking it in until it goes down.

Agreed. A man must understand a man to be a man.

That, or he'll tack on an extra citation for writing/reading texts while driving.

"Today I had to pull over some idiot who was going way over the speed limit. He was sweating, so It seemed like he had something to hide. I told him to get out so I could pat him down, and what do I find? His penis was erect. FML."

Shoulda used the excitement in your pants as an opportunity to evade the ticket.. Hit on the cop it always works... Lol you'll need luck. Msg me your prison address, I'll send condoms.

The cop would know better than to keep someone else's naked molerat

3- I'd hope so. Loaded guns are dangerous.

#3- keep what?? Cop has his own night stick :p

Sir just leave

Its an organic gun able to shoot sticky liquid that blinds the enemy for 5 seconds with a rate of fire of 3 shots per/org at a range of 1 meter. Most effective in close range. - National Firearms Foundation

Sir, you'd better stay back, this is a weapon of sexual destruction. Sir, I'm warning you it has the power to inflict Massive STD casualties in a 50 block radius. *officer* Holy Shit a WSD, we need a road block and the hazmat division on the double!

What's this? A gun? A knife? You people make me sick. It must be a gun, it has a sort of rounded tip. Wait...hang on. My mistake...

of course, now it's all wet and sticky. What was this gun made of???

Uncomfortable boner...

Hey! Look on the bright side...your one of the very few who can say they got a reach around from a cop during a traffic stop!

You have the right to remain aroused.

Awkward boner achieved.

"Excuse me officer, that secret weapon was meant for my girlfriend.."

FHL! Lol that's the last thing he expected