By FML4evs - United States

Pete Townshend has a lot to answer for

Today, my little brother watched an old video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

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85656

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Music

Miscellaneous

Proactive

Sorry…

Two states of matter

By Anonymous - 30/3/2020 17:00

Run for the hills!

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2029

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By Anonymous - 1/1/2021 11:01

Happy New Year!

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

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632

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198

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By RandomLG94 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25913

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1557

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to find that my pregnant cat had given birth to a stillborn kitten in every room of the house. It had then rubbed its butt around the house, leaving bloody stains everywhere. When I went to clean the white carpet, the bleach turned it green. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40717

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5964

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By Grinsporked

Bankers!

Today, after talking to the bank, I'd have to take a pay cut to qualify for a home loan. I'm still confused. FML

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1552

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126

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By brittsters - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23843

You deserved it

3039

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By wifelyduties - 17/4/2020 14:00

Do ya think I'm sexy?

Today, my husband called me to our bedroom, saying he needed help with something. I found him sitting on the bed with his pants down, so I smiled and asked if he was angling for sex, which was fine with me. Nope. He needed me to pop a pimple under his ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1919

You deserved it

304

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By anonymous - United States - Houston

Today, I helped an elderly lady put a bookshelf in her car. She then thanked me by hitting me with her car as she drove out of the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42160

You deserved it

3067

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By KitKat270 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she wouldn't be joining the rest of the girls in the limo ride to the church for my wedding ceremony because she wants to have her car with her. Why? Because she is planning to leave my wedding reception half way through to go home and take her dog out to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52602

You deserved it

4961

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By moodyreallyrocks - United States - Mayfield

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

I agree, your life sucks

62744

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2909

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By melmel - United States - Cumming

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

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45642

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4535

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By Anonymous - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41316

You deserved it

3202

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By em from Cali - United States - Visalia

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

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25389

You deserved it

2506

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By Too fast. - Uruguay - Montevideo

Today, I got told by my classmates to slow down because I put too much pressure on them. I'm taking a class in accounting for the first time in my life, we are all over 25 and so far we are doing basic math. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9103

You deserved it

767

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML

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39546

You deserved it

20319

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By Tara - Sweden

Today, I baby sat a four-year old kid, because his parents went partying. Once in bed, he yells "I want to go party!!". After 3 or 4 times, I told him to go to sleep. 2 hours later, wet bed. "Told you I want to go potty!!" FML

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18940

You deserved it

52151

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By FML - United States

Today, I found out that when you kick another man in the snowglobes and he smiles at you, there's something creepily wrong. FML

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38138

You deserved it

7477

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By ttsutaoka - United States

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

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56960

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2773

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By OhDearGodGrandad - United Kingdom - Ilford

Today, I saw my grandfather on the train, with his cock out. FML

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27639

You deserved it

2117

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By caaarl - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

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43920

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By familyfued

Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife. FML

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5686

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380

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By rotezora - Switzerland - Basel

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML

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31412

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3580

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By Amey - United States

Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML

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62243

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was working Customer Service at Wal Mart. An elderly lady came to my register to return a pair of white pants. I asked her what was wrong with them and she replied "even when I had underwear on you could still see my pubic hair." The pants had hair on them. FML

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60328

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3258

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By Highschoolisover!

Today, a good friend refuses to speak to me because she found out that I slept with her husband. It happened twelve years before they met. FML

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5472

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707

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

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13848

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46733

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By workaholic

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

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9259

You deserved it

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By roseland - United States - Hilton

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

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59987

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6176

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By Anonymous - France

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

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34504

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3287

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By hannah - United Kingdom

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

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27772

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4130

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By lolzor - Australia

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

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37438

You deserved it

105893

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By gregoyles - United States

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

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12074

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By car keyer - United States - Mary Esther

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

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20704

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By SHIT-BREATH - United Kingdom - Chepstow

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

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47412

You deserved it

15067

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By chap - 11/7/2020 02:01

Monetize your shit life

Today, I was in an Uber with a friend I hadn't seen in 7 years. I was just catching her up on my daily life when my Uber driver decided to chime into our conversation and kindly inform me that: "[I] should be a stand-up comedian." He literally thought my life was a joke. FML

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1393

You deserved it

191

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By notnow - United States

Today, minutes before I walked down the aisle at my wedding, my drunk mother stumbled up to me and told me she was depressed and wanted to leave. FML

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42223

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2585

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By ewwww - United States

Today, my family was talking about how people's hair goes gray when they get old. My grandma mentioned that she was initially attracted to my grandpa because of his red hair and was sad when it turned gray. "It's ok," she continued, "his pubic hair is still red." FML

I agree, your life sucks

73093

You deserved it

4248

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By sorry - United States - Columbus

Blind love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I slightly hesitated when she asked if she was beautiful. I am blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2457

You deserved it

203

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By MaryJane

Today, my best friend told me she didn't want to be my friend anymore, because she wanted to start afresh in college and have pretty friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2046

You deserved it

104

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By Hairytoes - United States

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

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27649

You deserved it

17421

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Top comments

By dwights | 0

#98769 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:29

well...time to grab your bro by the feet / ankles and do the same to him

By TeenTiger | 0

#98725 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:07

lmfao ouch. Lets hope he pays for it.

COMMENTS

By TeenTiger | 0

#98725 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:07

lmfao ouch. Lets hope he pays for it.

Mrelastaboy | 0

#981727 - Monday 19 April 2010 7:23

lmao who teached you how to right propar inglish? dumb fuck learn how to spell simple words before you post a FML

cowycal | 4

#1019858 - Saturday 5 June 2010 5:21

^I hope you're sarcastic, or else this is the worst fail I have seen in eternity.

owneditup | 0

#1333451 - Wednesday 1 September 2010 12:54

133 fails cuz hes retarded and attempts to dis ppl wen he doesnt no wat hes talking about

Bloxygen | 0

#1333888 - Wednesday 1 September 2010 15:33

it should be an fml?

By ToastedOats | 0

#98727 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:08

Strangle him with the guitar's strings and watch the life slowly leave his eyes.

By Spider_fml | 9

#98736 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:11

ouch...

Should definitely make him pay one way or another. Make sure he learns from this mistake

By TeenTiger | 0

#98738 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:12

#2 yes, 25 to life is worth 3 grand.

By amy397123 | 0

#98746 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:17

I believe a nice kick in the shin is in order.

hazelkee | 0

#1043559 - Friday 25 June 2010 21:42

#5 ftw. I would hurt my brother. I love my guitar even tho it's only 200$.

slushpup9696 | 12

#1044441 - Saturday 26 June 2010 8:49

Yeah same, I just bought a new guitar for $200 and I won't let anybody touch it. I'm really OCD about it, actually. I polish it after every concert :)

By Mnemic | 5

#98748 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:19

Well at least your little brother will know where to stick the money he earns for a while...

By mishmosh | 0

#98753 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:22

Holy shit I love the Who but I would have kicked his ass... I'm trying to afford a nice guitar even 800 dollars... that's insane

xBassman2000x | 4

#6649439 - Wednesday 13 July 2016 23:00

Same here, I just got a Bass worth $300, I can't imagine smashing a $3000 guitar, I'd cry

By Jaxro | 6

#98756 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:23

Ouch!! That has to suck. And 3 grand for a guitar, you must love your music.

By tempaccount | 0

#98766 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:27

You should superglue bits of it to his ceiling as torture.

By dwights | 0

#98769 - Friday 10 April 2009 12:29

well...time to grab your bro by the feet / ankles and do the same to him