Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants... - FML

By iMarriedmymother - United States

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

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There's no helping some people

Dementia or hate? You decide

It's the thought that counts

By fyou - United States

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML

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By Anonymous

After shower

Today, my sister snuck into the bathroom while I was in the shower (the locks broke) and took my clothes and towels. I came out and quickly went to my room. As I went in, my sister was sitting on my bed with two friends watching TV. I instantly covered up, but they saw everything. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML

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By peridot1aa

Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Roswell

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

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By Ugggghhh

Today, I was that person in the pharmacy that held the line up for 25 minutes. When I got home, I realized I left my prescriptions in the shopping cart in the store's parking lot. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbor and I learned why fireworks are illegal in city limits. This lesson was learned shortly after a roman candle came crashing through my second story window. FML

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By Junior - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

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By FreshFaced - United Kingdom

Today, I went into work for the first time without make-up. My boss thought I looked so tired and ill that he sent me home. FML

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By 3,500 down - United States - Altus

Today, my train departed over 10 minutes early. It was the last train of the day. I missed my transatlantic flight and along with it the vacation and concert I'd spent over a year saving for. FML

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By neighbour hell - Norway - Kristiansand

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

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By Ohwhy - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML

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By

Knock out

Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML

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By storyofmylife - United States

Today, I spilled my heart out to a guy by showing him one of my poetry journals. He read through it and said, "Wow, I feel sorry for the guy you wrote about." The poems were all about how I loved him. FML

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By germx - United States

Today, I was at my job in the Dean of Students office. My boss gave me some papers to copy. As I was copying, I read in a report that my boyfriend was written up for "cohabitation" (having a girl stay over) at my Catholic university. The report was from a weekend I wasn't at school. FML

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By kkt - United States - Granbury

Today, my 15-year-old brother got busted for selling pills at school. The officer said they were reddish pink, so we searched the house for that kind of pill. Turns out it was my dog's medicine from over 4 years ago. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

TMI

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

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By Anonycock - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

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By why - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

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By hereforfmls - United States - Jasper

Played a blinder

Today, I felt something hit my eye as I was riding on my bike. My glasses ended up falling off. I looked for them for ten minutes before giving up. I ran over them. FML

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By busmanhoe - Norway

Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML

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By sissica - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

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By RedLion23 - United Kingdom

Today, good news! The guitar I have been saving up for, for 5 months, finally arrived. It came inside a beautiful black and white case, and impossible to get into without the key. They didn't pack the key. FML

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By goatvideosarelame - Singapore

Today, my boss called me into his office to proudly show me about an hour's worth of videos of his recent holiday. The videos were all of goats and cows eating grass outside his window in Pakistan. FML

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By moronforadad - United Kingdom - Carshalton

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

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By Anonymous - 19/11/2020 05:08 - United States - San Mateo

Laundry drama

Today, I did laundry with one of my new white sweaters and other light-colored clothes. After it all went through the dryer, I found out there are now dark shades on it and it looks like a years-old old sweater, and can't be cleaned. I didn't even get a chance to put it on once. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/8/2020 01:02 - United Kingdom

Broken

Today, I recently got out of hospital after suffering a bad head injury. My doctor warned me I might have localised skin numbness, and it turns out I do. In my penis. Can’t feel a thing down there. We discovered this in bed, where nothing could get a rise out of me because it was completely dead FML

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By Claire - United States - Parkville

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

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By baconandkittens - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

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By frownyface - United States

Today, my family and I were burning our Christmas tree. For a laugh, my dad jokingly pushed me toward the fire. I tripped, and my doctor says the burns are probably going to scar. FML

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By MiniJeans - United States - Casselberry

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I moved my leg to wrap it around him and accidentally hit his penis. Without thinking, I said, "Sorry little guy!" FML

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

One-sided

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

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By hugs511 - United States

Today, I spent my date night babysitting. After waiting three hours later than I was supposed, the mother finally gets home at 11, too late for me to get out and have any fun. Already annoyed, I take the money as she says, "I hope this is enough, I got hungry and spent some of your money." FML

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By liltravol23 - United States

Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my Spanish test, and I felt very confident. I got the test back later, and saw my teacher had written on it: "Congrats on the 94%, but I know you cheated." FML

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By the-yao - United States

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

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By Anonymous - Russian Federation

Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML

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Top comments

By amatayo | 0

#659009 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:21

To be told by the woman you love that she just does not feel that way anymore.

wow

FYL

By PhillyFox | 0

#659186 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:58

That sucks. Depression really takes away your sex drive in general, along with the ability to be physically attracted to others. It sounds like the depression talking. Maybe she should ask her doctor about trying a new therapy?

COMMENTS

By sk8erboy_fml | 0

#658939 - Saturday 7 November 2009 11:43

FIRST! oh and if she is yr wife and not attracted to u then cheat on her

Reply

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2620769 - Sunday 5 June 2011 0:39

skaterboy, prepare to be stricken by Sirin's awesome wrath!

Reply

Sirin_fml | 46

#2620774 - Sunday 5 June 2011 0:41

Boom.

By SenGaeriel | 3

#658979 - Saturday 7 November 2009 12:20

FYL for her telling the truth.

By amatayo | 0

#659009 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:21

To be told by the woman you love that she just does not feel that way anymore.

wow

FYL

Reply

kindness | 0

#660253 - Sunday 8 November 2009 4:34

yeah. that's sad :(

By RJB | 0

#659017 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:33

sucks to be you!

By kravitzz1990 | 0

#659020 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:41

st8erboy that is the worst advice ever!!!

if she isn't attracted to u get some couples counceling, n see what ur options are from there. if this fails, id prob say get a divorce.. keep ur chin up.. its gonna get bad before it gets better :D xx

By smartieee | 0

#659022 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:43

she never said that she doesn't love you, just that she isn't attracted to you.. but still FYL.

By jchansfan | 0

#659036 - Saturday 7 November 2009 14:11

WTF is with your name!?! D:

Reply

r83839 | 22

#6670903 - Saturday 13 August 2016 22:34

It's a common saying meaning he married a girl who is just like his mom.

By Rota | 0

#659145 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:24

Take a drive way out to the middle of nowhere and leave her there. She isn't worth the effort.

By Einstein714 | 0

#659162 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:33

that sucks, at least she's still making you sandwichs

By PhillyFox | 0

#659186 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:58

That sucks. Depression really takes away your sex drive in general, along with the ability to be physically attracted to others. It sounds like the depression talking. Maybe she should ask her doctor about trying a new therapy?