Intimacy: Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants... - FML

By iMarriedmymother - United States

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

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Season finale

Breaking Badly

Ideal first date

By suppressinggags - United States - Kennett

Today, I found out that my stepsister loves sticking random household objects in her ear in an attempt to collect ear wax. I found out when I walked in on her trying to pick all the wax out of the bristles of my toothbrush. FML

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By jennavankirk - United States

Today, I lied to a group of 8 year olds about having a boyfriend. FML

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By IHateBeingAStudent

Today, a little girl I give horse-riding lessons to told me she had saved up $8.00 for her own pony. I laughed and thought how cute she was, then realized that was more than I have in my own savings account. FML

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By howannoying - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a friends trampoline trying to convince my mom trampolines are safe and I should get one. While telling her I smashed my knee into my face. I jumped off bleeding, slipped, hit my head on the trampoline, and got knocked unconscious. FML

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By hotpatata - United States

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Mendham

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

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By devinbyrne - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was told that if I was caught yawning again, I'd be fired. FML

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By NotAPrincess - United States - San Francisco

Today, while waitressing, I served a family with a little girl who was wearing a Frozen shirt. I told her I'm friends with Elsa and that she taught me to sing. The girl asked me to sing a song, so I did. Not even 5 seconds in, she started bawling. FML

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By Me - United States - Homer Glen

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

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By indi1011 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

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By Rowan Curry - United States - San Jose

Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML

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By marcymoo - Australia - Perth

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

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By Ghettogirl4life - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

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By cannabis_this420 - United States

Today, my mother called me and told me that she went to the hospital. This wasn't a surprise 'cos she normally goes to the hospital for the smallest things. So, I was a smart ass and asked, "What now? You finally have lung cancer from all those cigarettes?" Apparently, she does. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

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By mybossisanass - United States

Today, I discovered why my boss kept on scheduling me to work doubles almost every day. It wasn't because she knew I needed the extra money; she was hoping that my boyfriend would break up with me because I'm never home, and date her instead. It worked. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Canberra

Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML

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By wowzer - Puerto Rico - Gurabo

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

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By Ggirl - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

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By KL - Canada

Today, I was at a club with a friend. A cute guy kept smiling and looking over at me. He left his seat and went to the bar and brought back two drinks. He waved me over and then said, "Can you tell your hot friend that I bought her a drink?" FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, while trying on a dress, my sister came up behind me and poked my back, asking, “What have you stuck down your dress?” I hadn’t put anything down the back of my dress; it was just my back fat. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

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By loueb17 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 5 year old boy. When I was on the phone with my mom, he called 911 and started to cry. When I got off the phone the police were at the door. It turns out that the "emergency" was that the VCR was not working. FML

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By Lewis - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

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By HousemateHorror

Today, I walked into my dorm to find the guy I have feelings for sleeping with my roommate. I signed a lease with them for next year and can't back out now. FML

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By Lukev7 - Australia

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

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By Nikki - United States - Satellite Beach

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

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By whatjusthappened - United States - Loveland

Today, I was asked by my neighbor to stop jogging in our neighborhood because he keeps catching his son whacking off while watching me. His son is 28 years old and still lives at home. I'm 18. FML

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By DarkSerebii - United States

Today, a customer at work said his table was dirty. I asked which one he was sitting at so I could clean it for him. For some bizarre reason he got pissed and called my manager over. He ended up reporting us to corporate, and my manager got written up. He's blaming me for everything. FML

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By Weter - United States

Today, I fell flat on my ass while running for the subway. Made it on only to find out that it was standing by for ten minutes. I then got to ride all the way to work with a train full of people who watched me fall. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML

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By wifeofafainter - United States - Bronx

Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML

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By harrassment101 - United States

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

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By sadgirl - United States - Edmond

Today, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family. The first thing my mom said to him was, “Oh, you can do so much better. Like a paint huffer or a crack whore.” She was serious, and my entire family nodded in agreement. FML

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By laststand11 - Reserved

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

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Top comments

By amatayo | 0

#659009 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:21

To be told by the woman you love that she just does not feel that way anymore.

wow

FYL

By PhillyFox | 0

#659186 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:58

That sucks. Depression really takes away your sex drive in general, along with the ability to be physically attracted to others. It sounds like the depression talking. Maybe she should ask her doctor about trying a new therapy?

COMMENTS

By sk8erboy_fml | 0

#658939 - Saturday 7 November 2009 11:43

FIRST! oh and if she is yr wife and not attracted to u then cheat on her

Reply

urdirtyolduncle | 15

#2620769 - Sunday 5 June 2011 0:39

skaterboy, prepare to be stricken by Sirin's awesome wrath!

Reply

Sirin_fml | 46

#2620774 - Sunday 5 June 2011 0:41

Boom.

By SenGaeriel | 3

#658979 - Saturday 7 November 2009 12:20

FYL for her telling the truth.

By amatayo | 0

#659009 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:21

To be told by the woman you love that she just does not feel that way anymore.

wow

FYL

Reply

kindness | 0

#660253 - Sunday 8 November 2009 4:34

yeah. that's sad :(

By RJB | 0

#659017 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:33

sucks to be you!

By kravitzz1990 | 0

#659020 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:41

st8erboy that is the worst advice ever!!!

if she isn't attracted to u get some couples counceling, n see what ur options are from there. if this fails, id prob say get a divorce.. keep ur chin up.. its gonna get bad before it gets better :D xx

By smartieee | 0

#659022 - Saturday 7 November 2009 13:43

she never said that she doesn't love you, just that she isn't attracted to you.. but still FYL.

By jchansfan | 0

#659036 - Saturday 7 November 2009 14:11

WTF is with your name!?! D:

Reply

r83839 | 22

#6670903 - Saturday 13 August 2016 22:34

It's a common saying meaning he married a girl who is just like his mom.

By Rota | 0

#659145 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:24

Take a drive way out to the middle of nowhere and leave her there. She isn't worth the effort.

By Einstein714 | 0

#659162 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:33

that sucks, at least she's still making you sandwichs

By PhillyFox | 0

#659186 - Saturday 7 November 2009 15:58

That sucks. Depression really takes away your sex drive in general, along with the ability to be physically attracted to others. It sounds like the depression talking. Maybe she should ask her doctor about trying a new therapy?