Today, my wife and I were getting intimate. I wanted to make it last longer, so I tried thinking of something else. Suddenly she says, "What are you thinking?" I reply, "Dead puppies." This apparently turned her off more than it did me, because she got out of the bed. FML
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By
lizliz07
| 0
dead puppies? really? why would you answer like that!!!
Reply
AngelaSialaris
| 0
he wanted to last longer duh!! ha that's pretty sick tho!
Reply
icall_BS
| 0
In Soviet Russia, puppies make YOU last longer.
...
...
Reply
McCamryn123
| 0
really? fyl for not saying somethiglike
you- but doing this and that! duhh!
you- but doing this and that! duhh!
By
xlossofmex
| 0
Omg this made me laugh pretty hard. That sex can't be too enjoyable for you with dead puppies on your mind.
Reply
dudeitsdanny
| 9
The point was for him to not enjoy it that much so he could last longer.
By
Lukas1051
| 0
What! Why?!?!?
By
blland
| 0
anything could turn a woman off.
learn from older men. remain silent!
learn from older men. remain silent!
By
akiranozaki
| 0
Your wife needs to invest in a ball gag.
By
ClearD
| 0
priceless. ;)
By
schwinn11
| 0
hahahaha, i cant believe that turned her off,
i,ve tried flowers, chocalates, and even jewelry,
but in my experience, dead puppies has always gotten
women in the mood.
maybe next time, to really get her in the mood start whispering
"old man ball sack" in her ear over and over.
i,ve tried flowers, chocalates, and even jewelry,
but in my experience, dead puppies has always gotten
women in the mood.
maybe next time, to really get her in the mood start whispering
"old man ball sack" in her ear over and over.
Reply
omghehehe
| 0
LOL :D I'm trying to imagine it. Would I laugh uncontrollably at that or be appalled? I just don't know. Either way I know laughing would be involved :D It sure beats "dead puppies." :/ Strange mind to think of something like that (shuddering).
By
untoldfame
| 3
this whole FML is Win. I love it.
By
clcagwin
| 0
yea #8
By
perdix
| 29
You should have said, "You," and not given the complete answer.
The complete answer, of course, is: When I want it to last longer, I think of you, but when I want to finish, I think about porn stars, ex-girlfriends, a woman I work with, my girlfriend or a sexy woman I met on FML.
Keep that answer and the dead puppies one to yourself -- unless you really are into masturbation as your only defense against celibacy.
The complete answer, of course, is: When I want it to last longer, I think of you, but when I want to finish, I think about porn stars, ex-girlfriends, a woman I work with, my girlfriend or a sexy woman I met on FML.
Keep that answer and the dead puppies one to yourself -- unless you really are into masturbation as your only defense against celibacy.
Reply
Lonely_Lez
| 0
Win.
Reply
redbluegreen
| 40
Glad to know I could help.
Reply
omghehehe
| 0
(shaking my head) hehehe .... :)
That works too. Clever you ;) One of my BFs was saying he was thinking of baseball. I giggled and thought to myself, good going honey! :D
That works too. Clever you ;) One of my BFs was saying he was thinking of baseball. I giggled and thought to myself, good going honey! :D
i,ve tried flowers, chocalates, and even jewelry,
but in my experience, dead puppies has always gotten
women in the mood.
maybe next time, to really get her in the mood start whispering
"old man ball sack" in her ear over and over.