Relatable, Thief and Work: Caught in 404p

Caught in 404p

By bgierczak2 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - San Francisco

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 705

You deserved it 1 760

Relatable Thief Work

Empathy lives

Get out while you still can

Friend's best friend

By wtf - 29/11/2010 16:05 - United States

Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 163

You deserved it 4 234

By Canceled Wedding - 25/05/2017 22:00

Today, I found out that because we made a mistake and applied for the wrong visa first, my fiancé probably can't fly into America to attend his own wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 554

You deserved it 1 241

By princess - 08/09/2018 13:00

Today, I accidentally touched a hot pan and, like any normal person would, jerked my hand back. My mom saw, yelled at me for being a "prissy princess" and then proceeded to stick her whole hand on the hot pan for a full 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 899

You deserved it 355

The Summoner

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 05:02

Today, I've lived in my apartment for over 5 years with no bugs, as I'm phobic of them. I broke up with my ex, who smirked at me and declared war. I now have thousands of roaches that I can't get rid of. Coincidence? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 124

By Viridian - 12/05/2009 13:41 - United States

Today, I gave a big presentation at work. The manager decided to video tape it. I went through my presentation with ease and was confident I did a good job. My confidence was then lowered after watching the tape. Apparently, my boobs are much more interesting than what I had to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 508

You deserved it 7 036

I'll get right on it, chief

By F U mil - 12/08/2020 23:05

Today, my mother-in-law called me selfish, lazy and a bad mother for giving my kids chores, like picking up toys and shoes. When we got married, my husband didn’t even know how to load a dishwasher or run a load of laundry. According to her, a "real mother" waits on her family hand and foot. Yeah, OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 909

You deserved it 216

By WorryNot - 29/12/2016 01:22 - United States - Prescott

Today, I accidentally left a small but very important piece of my breast pump at home. Only ten more hours until the end of my shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 741

You deserved it 579

Good catch

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 23:52 - United States

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said, "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 523

You deserved it 90 677

TMI FML

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 06:01

Today, I had to take a photo of my asshole after I sat on a rusty nail, causing considerable pain. Thankfully, no major damage was done. Unfortunately, the photo synced up to my mum's iPad, since it's linked to my Apple ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 353

By Hi, I'm Heather - 01/10/2014 02:05 - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 039

You deserved it 2 865

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 623

You deserved it 4 989

By Kristache - 02/07/2009 08:31 - Canada

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 154

You deserved it 16 334

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 09:34 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I felt my feet slip out from under me and I face-planted in the slushy, dirty, melting snow. I rolled over, completely soaked, and attempted to get up, thinking no one saw me. A mail-man then passed me without offering to help, and said, "I've seen worse." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 320

You deserved it 3 023

By Hannah - 17/06/2011 21:24 - Ireland

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 181

You deserved it 33 600

Sad sad sad

By Anonymous - 09/09/2015 00:03

Today, I caught two kids passing notes to each other in my class, so I told them to see me afterwards. When one of the kids eventually came up, I noticed he was crying. He looked up at me and sobbed out, "I was trying to make my first friend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 527

You deserved it 7 705

By WorthLessThanACareer - 21/06/2016 12:57

Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 419

You deserved it 1 181

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 006

You deserved it 41 931

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 15:00 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my mother that it is inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 174

You deserved it 2 683

Touched for the very first time

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 18:00

Today, I went to a new doctor. She asked me how long I had been sexually active. I said I'm not. I'm 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 290

You deserved it 338

By Tiber46 - 26/05/2013 08:33 - United States - Long Beach

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 514

You deserved it 4 169

By DefinitelyNotMyMeds - 22/02/2019 20:00 - Canada

Today, just like everyday, I opened my med box, took out a blister pack and took one of the pills before putting the pack back in the box. Today, not like everyday, I had diarrhea. Turns out one of the packs was laxatives put in my med box by my boyfriend because they looked the same as my meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 285

By SingleSara. - 02/03/2010 06:07 - Canada

Today, I found out my sister has a new boyfriend. That would have been helpful to know 3 hours ago before I told her boyfriend, who is also my best friend, that I loved him. His response? "HAHAHA! Good one! Oh Seriously? Shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 942

You deserved it 3 404

By Nickname - 27/08/2018 06:00

Today, I came home to find my wife and my ex-wife naked in my bed. Apparently they've been in a relationship for five months. When I told my kids, they said that they were helping to keep the secret. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 337

You deserved it 258

Miss Pissy

By Anonymous - 03/10/2019 02:00

Today, I was protesting for animal rights. On my way home, I accidentally hit a pig with my car. I freaked out and got out to check to see if it was OK. It knocked me over, spraining my wrist, and it pissed all over my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 1 796

By you fucking idiot - 19/12/2013 17:20 - United States - Union

Today, I found out the money my husband's been funneling from our bank account wasn't for drugs or gifts for another girl like I thought. It was for a guy he stupidly believed was a foreign diplomat, who supposedly needed to bribe officials in order to send us several million dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 381

You deserved it 4 343

By IntimidatorStag - 06/02/2009 23:54 - United States

Today, I gave my girlfriend some non-alcoholic beer as a joke. In slurred speech, she told me I have the body of a monk seal. She then took my keys, staggered to my car, and drove away. She crashed into a tree two blocks later. She's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 285

You deserved it 30 472

Tonight, on Idiots in Cars…

By STOPattheSIGNbitch - 05/04/2020 08:00

Today, a woman in an SUV rolled a stop sign and hit me, resulting in simultaneously twisting my foot in my bike and being knocked into oncoming traffic. Her excuse before I went to the ER? The sun was in her eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 128

By busybuzzybee - 17/08/2011 00:31 - United States

Today, my asshole of a roommate finally decided to move out. Not only did he take his belongings with him, he took some of mine as well. Including my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 430

You deserved it 2 845

By iheartkanye - 30/06/2019 20:01

Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 15/08/2019 14:00

Today, I was scrolling through Instagram when I got a new follow suggestion. I checked her feed, and found out it was my ex-fiancé’s newest fiancée. And he'd proposed to her using an $185 ring I'd bought myself for my birthday last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 731

You deserved it 151

Fixed

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 05:00

Today, my husband, who repairs appliances for a living, repaired our dryer. One lot of wet clothes later, it caught fire and ruined the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 610

You deserved it 113

By help me! - 02/10/2010 14:26 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with had a job interview at my place of work. If she gets the job, she'll be my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 672

You deserved it 2 961

By Anonymous - 28/06/2015 05:13 - United States - Corona

Today, after my daughter told half her class about my retainer, I advised her to keep mummy's personal details personal. Now she responds, "I'm not supposed to tell" to any question regarding our home life. Thus far, I've received six very concerned calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 889

You deserved it 2 606

By Uglyshirts - 09/04/2009 08:44 - South Africa

Today, I was the first one to wear the ugly corporate shirts we received. The people in my office-all of them guys were all saying that it looked a lot better than they thought it would. Later that day I went to the toilet and saw the shirt gapes open in front and you could see my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 721

You deserved it 18 023

By Anonymous - 02/07/2013 05:24 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 68 875

By mlowy - 09/05/2014 05:35 - Azerbaijan - Baku

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 089

You deserved it 4 159

By 1378 - 12/03/2010 08:26 - Australia

Today, I had to explain to my sister why it's unhygienic, socially unacceptable and downright inappropriate to apply Thrush ointment in the lounge room. I realised I wasn't getting through to her when she called me ''Uptight,'' ''Victorian" and ''prudish'' to name a few. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 129

You deserved it 2 968

By Anonymous - 26/01/2014 00:33 - United States - Durham

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 916

You deserved it 52 815

By Carolyn Burnham - 23/10/2016 15:23

Today, I was at the local drive-thru with my boyfriend. While we were picking up the food, the asswipe at the window thought it hilarious to copy the scene from "American Beauty" and pretend that we were a couple and that I was cheating on him. My actual boyfriend believed it and won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 972

You deserved it 1 003

By WtfDoIDo?! - 02/07/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 115

You deserved it 218

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Top comments

Oppression_fml 19

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:19

That's not suspicious at all.

FAKECRASH59 15

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:20

Tell him to leave the room when viewing the tape and if it involves the workplace, ask that he co-operates Hope you find your wallet and solve the case

Oppression_fml 19

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:19

That's not suspicious at all.

sturschaedel 27

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:27

Yeah, it was probably him.

kayposion 17

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:39

OP's boss, thinking he's slick

tantanpanda 26

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Monday 31 August 2015 16:39

HR time~

FAKECRASH59 15

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:20

Tell him to leave the room when viewing the tape and if it involves the workplace, ask that he co-operates Hope you find your wallet and solve the case

clevergirl98 20

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:23

I don't understand why he wouldn't want to know. Thats a serious issue. Make him get involved.

ashleyyyroseee 16

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:26

It's because he probably took it.

iRambo 12

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Monday 31 August 2015 22:18

Maybe the boss took it?

ashleyyyroseee 16

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:28

This just seems like a green light and a bunch of fingers pointing at him. I wish you luck in finding your wallet!

kellyem2 20

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Monday 31 August 2015 18:08

Or the office favorite...or the chick he fantasizes about hooking up with. All the way around it's seriously suspicious.

cocoshake 16

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:30

#busted

TonierShadow 19

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:31

Your boss is a dick

sweetbliss3 37

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:34

if he doesn't want to know then you need to get the cops involved. theft is still a crime no matter where it happens. good luck on getting it back.

mkymouse90 17

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Monday 31 August 2015 12:56

He did it.. Guess they don't pay enough so he had to turn to a life of crime.

Ankit_A14190 11

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Monday 31 August 2015 13:00

I'm just gonna guess that he didn't want to fire someone, it's hard to tell someone that they don't have a job anymore.

SPN_lover666 27

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Monday 31 August 2015 19:18

What if a co-worker stole your wallet? Would you be fine with your boss keeping a thieving co-worker because it is "hard" for them to fire that person?

chocolatelover96 14

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Monday 31 August 2015 13:14

Is there anyone higher you can go to? Maybe report it to the police. Because this sounds as suspicious as anything, and if he wasn't responsible, he sure knows who is and is covering. Get that CCTV!