By dino0123 - 12/12/2012 17:51 - United States - Herndon

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 367
You deserved it 4 476

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

he might have actually saved up for it and gotten ripped off.

your cheap boyfriend is just that, cheap. and you know it, so take it or leave it, he is who he is. did you really expect extravagance?

Comments

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

So only rich men can get married? Get real. It doesn't matter what he proposed with, if the relationship was going to last it wouldn't matter to OP because the marriage is the thing that's important, the only reason she's posted this FML is because of what she thinks OTHER PEOPLE will think about it, ungrateful so and so.

It's about the person you're with. Not the size of the rock. He should have been honest with her about not being able to afford a real ring though.

14- you had a good point to start with, but of course she's going to be disappointed. Yes the marriage is the important thing, but it doesn't mean she shouldn't have expected to get a nice shiny ring in his proposal, because typically that's what is given.

23- More than that. He tried to trick her.

14 You don't have to be rich to get a nice ring, but you do have to be an ass hole to propose with a ring from a gumball machine.

Well, if a gumball ring is what you can afford right now... I've heard people do that with a promise to get something better later. The ring is symbolic, and should be gotten rid of. It was originally meant as a way of indicating that the man had the resources to support his (soon to be) wife (the bigger the rock, the more resources). Now adays, women are more independent and shouldn't need such assurances. Women can support their man (but that wont happen in this society) if they want to, but they still need that unnecessary financial symbol to test the mans sincerity

Why did the finger turn green it makes no fucking sense wtf

That just means it was fake.

It was made of copper

Shine bright like a dia- I mean... piece of zirconium

Even if he went to Walmart and bought a cheap ring, the least he could've done was made sure it was real gold. Gold is NOT expensive...and a tiny diamond is better than a green finger.

I don't know if it's just me, but if the guy I love proposed to me with a ring from a vending machine, I'd accept. It's more about the person for me. It sort of disgusts me when people brag about the cost or size of their ring, especially celebrities. It's not like a smaller ring means he loves you less, though in this case it sounds like he has a history of being unreasonably cheap.

Well, it's much simpler in the ocean. You just give seashells. And seashells are cheap.

14 - You are so dumb. It's not that he gave her a shit ring, it's that he led her to believe it was real. The dishonesty is what made her pissed. The really funny part to me is that he probably paid more for the fake yet massive rock than he would have paid if he had gone for quality instead of quantity. What most guys don't realize is that if you just explain to your beloved that a .25 carat diamond (or CZ if you're really broke) set on a tiny, nondescript band is all you can afford, they'll be fine. Just be HONEST. I've yet to meet a girl who cared so much about having a bigass rock that they'd prefer the green finger over a smaller, nicer ring.

@113 - You are attributing dishonesty and malice to where there almost certainly wasn't any. It's entirely possible that the guy picked out a ring that he thought OP would like, within his budget, and just gave it to her. What sickens me is that we've got all these idiots going on about he's a bastard because he's cheap. Seriously, do you think the difference between the OP saying yes or no was whether the band of her ring was copper or gold? What kind of person would OP be if that was the case?

You can get a beautiful ring with real gold for pretty cheap (around $200). The ring OP's boyfriend proposed with was probably a $20 ring. Not even sterling silver causes that reaction! But put yourself in her shoes, to find out that the ring on your finger is not only fake and cheap, but you can't even wear it to show anyone. I don't blame OP for her disappointment. If a guy tried to give me a copper ring I'd take it as insult. I'd rather he be honest if he couldn't afford a ring instead of trying to dupe me.

115, if you listen really closely, you might just hear the sound of 113's comment flying over your head.

A low carat gold ring can contain copper which can turn your finger green. Or he might of misunderstood what gold plating meant which means it was painted gold. I don't know how old they are but young adults usually aren't financially stable yet so he may of not had the money for top quality. Give the guy a break. He probably meant it with his whole heart giving her the ring it just sucks it didn't turn out the way it was planned.

First of all, nothing says he lied to her, we can only assume that OP assumed that she was about to get a very expensive ring. Secondly, a majority copper ring may be cheaper than gold, but it certainly isn't cheap. Copper is expensive, and getting more expensive. Thirdly, this is a ridiculous fml only because the institution of marriage isn't a ring to show off to your friends, it's a pact of love. So, while OP can say 'fml' for a cheap ring (even though it obviously still LOOKS expensive), she better say how grateful she is to be in love with someone who obviously loves her back as well. Many people don't get that.

Why does this have negatives? I agree with u

id like to point out that my fiance spent £30 pound on my engagement ring, and although its an 18 carat white gold band the 3 big diamonds are zirconias. second hand is the way to go if you're skint, so unless OPs boyfriend was genuinely ripped off then he's got no excuse for being cheap.

Anyone else notice that OP stated that the reason that she was elated when her boyfriend proposed to her was because the ring was big? Hopefully just poor word choice

It's hard to judge if he Is cheap or she is demanding too much. BUT! He could atleast had bought a real ring silver/gold/steel/whitegold ect. An expencive ring is mostly to brag about. I got a silver ring with heart shapes (not expencive) but adorable. And i gave him a plain silver one. (Traditionally the man get a ring too). And hell... Our rings may be regulair but our Love is as great as ever :) would never trade my ring for anything.

@115 - "It's not that he gave her a shit ring, it's that he led her to believe it was real." - 113 "You are attributing dishonesty and malice to where there almost certainly wasn't any." - 115 (me) How is the comment going over my head, again? If you're talking about how he can get cheap, better rings second-hand, then understand that this only increases the risk of being ripped off. In either case, this guy is getting hate that he almost certainly doesn't deserve. I hope to hell that if the other posters in here get all melodramatic with their fiancees because their ring wasn't as expensive as they thought it was, these guys take a hint and find someone else who would value them more than a damn rock stuck in a shiny loop of metal.

I can't help but wonder how much SHE spoil him. I am sick to the bone about the whole "men should spoil their women". No that is disgustingly selfish. A couple should not need materialistic items to show love. But if so they should spoil eachothers. I did not see her buy HIM a ring, and engagement include two rings traditionally. I buy my boyfriend gifts more often then he me, because my economy is better. So what? He loves me and he spoils me when he can. What is wrong with people and their view on LOVE. This could be why relationships are breaking so often these days. Materialism and ego-jealousy. :/

Gold isn't expensive you say. $1800 an ounce sure seems cheap

Man, you bitches are ungrateful as hell. I'd accept a plastic ring, it's not the object, it's the love behind it that matters. Greedy, gold-digging asshats.

he might have actually saved up for it and gotten ripped off.

Not likely if he's already described as cheap.

Who knows, maybe he was cheap because he was saving for a ring.

And maybe she says he's cheap because she wrote this after finding out he gave her a cheap ring and is being emotional...

I say unlikely. If you're going to save up for an expensive ring you are definitely going to do your research. Something that turns your finger green that quickly is horribly fake.

Maybe he's cheap because his parents drowned in a pile of money and it traumatized him. And maybe OP is turning into an goblin because she pissed off a wizard. There could be any number of explanations for this.

Ugh that sucks :/

Hence why it is present on FML.

tell that cheap-o to kick rocks

It's the thought that counts?

So does that mean he "thought" he could trick her into thinking he bought her something real that wouldn't turn her finger green? I'm not saying it had to be something expensive but at least something she could wear. What good is that ring going to be when the OP has to keep it in her jewelry box instead of on her finger?

I'd argue that many men don't know about non-precious metals turning your skin different colours. He probably didn't think she would be able to tell the difference.

Grow up. You shouldn't be happy just because he got you an "expensive" ring. Be happy you have someone that wants to be with you

I completely agree. I was just about to say that but looks like you already did it for me. Congratulations on being one of the few logic and not self serving people left in this word.

She should be happy that not only he was too cheap to buy a decent wedding ring, he lied to her about it like a manipulative little douchebag?

It's usually people who HAVE money to start with that say this shit. I've got an extremely stingy money mean partner so I know if he splashes the cash on something for me it really means a lot for him to have done it. An so therefore the present is more special to me. Stop assuming OP is a money hungry bitch.

I myself am cheap too, not only for my own money but for everyone else's as well. I'd rather have a 'normal' ring and a good future than a diamond ring and 5 more years of saving up for a house or something like that. But then again, I don't like jewelry. Wouldn't mind if he proposed with a donut.

I agree! Not everything is about you!

I agree. I honestly have never understood what the fuss is about for real diamonds or jewelry that cost more than your car. Diamonds aren't even that cool, but that's just me. It's a hard, shiny thing in the ground; big deal. Nothing more than a silly status symbol.

Anything is better than a ring that will turn your finger green. You can find plenty of nice rings for not that extremely expensive prices people just love there are cheaper nice rings out too not a ring he got out of a gum ball machine. Lying about it too to top it off? Nothing says love like putting zero effort into something. Frankly if It were me I would put some thought into it more than 25 cents. If it were to be something that cheap at least let it have a special meaning behind it, that makes it so much sweeter. Not oh hey gunna propose to my wife. Hey a quarter! Awesome! Ring here i come!

Why does everyone assume he's lied about it, sure it was cheap, but if the diamond is the only thing that matters to you when he's proposing, then you aren't worth a proposal in my eyes. I could be wrong though, I don't know the full story.

You got ripped off and your finger turned green. Well I don't know. Sure he was being cheap, but isn't proposing to you what counts? The ring is just a bonus if its fancy. I'd rather be with the one I love rather than freak out about how much they spent on the ring I wear.

You are correct for the most part, but he led her to believe that it was an authentic ring. In my book, that's lying and a shitty way to start a life together.

Since when did he lie? Nowhere did it say he told her what kind of ring it was, she assumed.

88- I'm not sure what world you're from but on planet earth an engagement ring is authentic unless otherwise disclosed. Therefore it was a lie by omission.

I don't think that getting her an engagement ring means more than him wanting to be with her. Assuming anything more? Well, there's something about assumptions.

98- obviously he wants to spend his life with her or is that an assumption? The "ring" is a symbol of their commitment to one another whether the ring is made of diamonds, gold, sugar, twigs, etc. It doesn't matter what it's made of as long as both people know. It's only fair, right? In this case OP didn't know that it was fake. Not a good way to start a life with someone, is it?

Or maybe she should've assumed it was cheap if she already knew she had a cheap boyfriend...? It's not rocket science.

#88. She assumed? As in she assumed the real was real? Yes she assumed the ring was real considering when a man proposes to a woman, typically the ring is real. It's not her fault for "assuming"

your cheap boyfriend is just that, cheap. and you know it, so take it or leave it, he is who he is. did you really expect extravagance?

Well said!! Well said!!

She probably didn't expect extravagance, no. But proposing with a big fake ring, getting the girlfriends hopes up that she can be proud of what's on her finger (every woman wants to wear a ring they can brag about) then to find out its fake? I don't know about her but if my boyfriend proposed to me, I'd be wayyy more excited to wear a ring that's small and cheaper BUT REAL. No way would I want a big, cheap, finger turning green ring!

Damn you think for a special occasion he wouldn't be a tight ass. But hey at least he wants to marry you.

Depends on his income. If he can easily afford a nice engagement ring but chose a $20 fake one from Claire's store in the mall then FYL. If he doesn't make alot of money, the fake one may be all he can afford. Or if he completely lied to you and told you it was real, FYL.

If you're really worried about the ring. I feel sorry for you. He tried, and honestly the ring doesn't matter. What does matter is that he's making a huge commitment with you.

11- how did he try? He could try saving money but he bought her a fake ring instead...if he can't buy a ring how is he going to buy real stuff if they get married

He didn't try at all. It's understandable that some people can't afford expensive jewelry, but he lied to her and lead her to believe it was fancy. That's not trying, that's deceiving, and it shouldn't be the first step in creating a life together.

Maybe he's more concerned with buying actual important things, not stupid pointless crap for her to show off to her friends.

That's not the point. It's the fact that he lead her to believe he had gotten her something that he hadn't. If he didn't want to spend a whole bunch of money he should have just told her. I know that if my boyfriend proposes to me I don't care how much the ring costs him. If he lies about it I'll be upset.

Exactly, if he told her that he couldn't afford it..it wouldn't be as bad

You don't know whether he tried or not, you're making assumptions based off of one side of a story with yet unproven facts. Secondly, it never said once in the fml that OP was lied to about it being real or not, so yet ANOTHER assumption. All we can truly deduce is that the OP was given a ring and she's not happy with it, which i believe is unfair. Regardless of whether or not he's being cheap, he proposed which is a move of extreme commitment, faith and love. If that's not saying enough that the ring becomes essential for OP's happiness, then that's not his fault.