By confusing - Zimbabwe

Artistry

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

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Commando

Thanks, I hate it

Never flip flop and drive

By Anonymous - 3/11/2020 22:02 - United States - Anchorage

Get the message, dude

Today, after telling my boyfriend of 8 years on Monday that I'm unhappy and don’t want to be in a relationship anymore, he said to me just now, "So, I’m thinking of proposing to you in December." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a root canal. It wouldn't have been that bad if the dentist hadn't performed it on the wrong tooth. FML

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By kaitlyna15 - United States - Bellevue

Today, while life-guarding, I had to explain to teenage boys that shoving objects up each others' butts and complaining that someone was giving them anal was inappropriate at a family facility in front of kids under the age of 10. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I found out that my estranged daughter has been married for five years. I wasn't told of or invited to their wedding, and the only reason I know now is because she needs money for a divorce lawyer. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend posted the Facebook status "Ahhh... relief." Trying to be funny, I replied "Why? Did you just poop?" A few hours later, I read her previous posts and found out her dad's in the hospital having heart surgery. Now everyone thinks I'm a heartless dick. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Middlewich

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

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By MorganRox26 - Canada

Today, I was looking through pictures on Facebook. There was a picture of me and my friends with the caption "I love you guys!" below. I had been cropped out. FML

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By tigger2013 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my wife of 12 years informed me that the only sexual activity she is interested in is foreplay, and she absolutely doesn't want to go any further than that anymore. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

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By WhyGodWhy - United States - Addison

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

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By drummerboy - United States

Today, I practiced my drum playing in the garage instead of my room out of consideration for my neighbors. Guess the consideration wasn't mutual, because one of my neighbors just shot a hole in one of my drums with an air gun. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/5/2020 02:00

Better out than in

Today, I had the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my lower right abdomen. I was doubled over and vomiting it hurt so bad. After going to the E.R., thinking it was my appendix and getting checked in, I let out the biggest most rancid fart in my life and the pain immediately went away. FML

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

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By nasty_ex - Australia

Today, I finally found out who has been sending me hate letters, it's my husband's ex-wife. They've been divorced for 7 years. FML

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By Anonymous

Keep your distance

Today, my roommate told me she had developed a rash on her armpits, which causes them to be itchy. The doctor told her the only way to heal it is to not wear deodorant for a month. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Smells like… victory

Today, they're pumping out the septic system in the building next door. I'm three months pregnant, suffering from morning sickness, and can smell everything within a three-mile radius. FML

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By Heretique - Norway

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

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By guiltyschuldig49 - 28/5/2020 14:00

Noise annoys

Today, and for months, my upstairs neighbor has been stomping on their floors, hard enough to shake our walls. We thought it was their child, but found out it’s the mother. She took up running, and due to the pandemic, she does it in the living room. She's already been told to stop. Repeatedly. I work 12-hour nights. FML

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By JinsNeck.exe - 19/1/2021 19:02 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Toodles

Today, after knowing my friendship group for 9 years, who were like my family, I found out that they actually hate me and have been trying to get me to go away for 5 years. When I left, they laughed at me, argued with me and their exact last words were, "K bye" and then kicked me out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

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By Dipping Tired - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

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By Melinda - United States

Today, I was walking through the bar area of the restaurant I work at and fell on my ass. Customers complained to my manager that I shouldn't be drinking on the job. FML

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By MySummerinEurope - Belgium - Brussels

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

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By lovefool - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of a year dumped me by text. It's also the day that the birthday present I ordered for him was finally processed and shipped, meaning I can't cancel and get my money back. FML

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By Creeped Out

Today, I went to the grocery store. As I was checking out, I went to grab the same item that the cashier was reaching for. He brushed my hand. He then both watched me creepily and asked my what lotion I used to make my hands so soft. When I left, he said, "I'll dream of you." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the subway head bobbing to my favorite track when the guy across from me gets up, punches me in the face and says, "Don't nod at my wife like that." FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML

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By deflated - Ireland

Today, as my girlfriend was dropping me home, our goodbye kiss got kind of heavy. Still parked in my drive, we had fast, frenzied sex. After, we realised that she had never put the hand brake on and that we had rolled down my drive, blocking my dad who was patiently waiting to pull in. FML

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By shampoogirl - United States

Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML

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By Turnaround

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML

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By Lauren - Australia

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

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By ItWasOurAnniversary - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I wanted to kayak. On the way, I told him I had to go back to our hotel because I needed the bathroom and didn't want a public one to smell. Once back in the elevator at the hotel, it got stuck. For an hour. I pooped myself and had to wait 40 minutes after that for help. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Denver

Today, the woman I've loved for 15 years and had children with told me she's remarrying to the man she cheated on me with. Since her father passed last year, she wants me to give her away at the wedding. FML

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By foodsicknessinATL - United States - Atlanta

Today, I spent the busiest travel day of the year in the busiest airport in the world trapped between the decision to leave the terminal bathroom or shit my pants. Yes, I missed my flight. Sorry, mom. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

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By Anonymous

W.T.F.

Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML

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By whyme_ss - United States

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

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By johncabbot25 - Canada

Today, I had my first kiss with the woman I've been in love with for two years. Right as I kissed her, some guys drove by in a car and threw some soggy spaghetti at me, yelling, "Noob!" FML

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Top comments

By A1BROS | 4

#5967245 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:53

As my father once told me:

"Son, I appreciate all artwork, though I don't always agree with it."

By madellen | 16

#5967241 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:51

Guess you could say it was a hard decision;)

COMMENTS

By KingMomo360 | 13

#5967232 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:48

What's a TA?

Reply

Maiko_rayquaza | 8

#5967234 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:48

Teaching assistant

Reply

ksks1234 | 33

#5967236 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:49

Third age

Reply

spignona84 | 11

#5967263 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:01

Hey man art is art

Reply

dante_53 | 13

#5967300 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:18

Tyrannosaurus Attack

Reply

sarahmaxine | 19

#5967317 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:30

teacher aide

Reply

cdawg69 | 10

#5967543 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:56

google.com/ta

Reply

Metalkitty | 15

#5967554 - Saturday 7 June 2014 6:09

Tight ass

Reply

micassures_fml | 19

#5969464 - Monday 9 June 2014 6:05

Thanks for asking, everybody doesn't live in English-speaking areas!

By madellen | 16

#5967241 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:51

Guess you could say it was a hard decision;)

Reply

NatsuD_fml | 13

#5967397 - Saturday 7 June 2014 4:33

One might even say he was hardly mad at the prick for an artist.

Reply

Maxcrss | 7

#5967512 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:31

Another could possibly even say it was hard to throw away.

Reply

ilikeirony | 10

#5967630 - Saturday 7 June 2014 7:44

others would say you guys ruined it.

By Agtthepw | 21

#5967242 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:52

Surely inappropriate as you're the teacher, but take it as a compliment: you were his main source of inspiration!

By A1BROS | 4

#5967245 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:53

As my father once told me:

"Son, I appreciate all artwork, though I don't always agree with it."

Reply

cakefete2 | 30

#5967357 - Saturday 7 June 2014 3:32

Your father is a wise man.

Reply

91hayek | 31

#5967773 - Saturday 7 June 2014 12:46

What it the art piece involved your father's death? Would he still appreciate it?

Reply

grapefruit_hd | 7

#5968396 - Sunday 8 June 2014 2:19

#40 ur on here a lot

Reply

WinterBlue42 | 22

#5973124 - Thursday 12 June 2014 12:37

Your father seems brilliant. Also, I feel like this is a YDI simply due to how the OP described the person who did it. Sooo. . YDI.

By rybaby23 | 8

#5967254 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:55

So did you like it...or nah?

Reply

Metagame | 12

#5967315 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:27

I think it is implied otherwise.

Reply

grace31297 | 14

#5967403 - Saturday 7 June 2014 4:39

#8 is the student

Reply

fuckyourlifeOP | 25

#5967519 - Saturday 7 June 2014 5:35

I'm sorry, but that "or nah" phrase just really pisses me off. lol

Reply

kewpiesuicide | 29

#5967815 - Saturday 7 June 2014 14:26

Were you butt naked nasty, or nah?

Reply

cumberbunny | 17

#5967827 - Saturday 7 June 2014 14:43

I love your profile pic, #8.

Reply

kelsorg | 21

#5995539 - Wednesday 2 July 2014 18:48

can't really understand how one use of "or Nah" is thumbed up and the other thumbed down? make up your mind people :p

By DemosthenesMB | 13

#5967255 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:55

Well, TECHNICALLY he followed the assignment... bonus points for creativity? ;)

Reply

Miss_Whipped | 43

#5967294 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:12

That might only further the notion that OP is having a gay relationship with his TA.

Reply

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#5967348 - Saturday 7 June 2014 3:25

no one has such a notion, it was a mere artwork concept.

Reply

ocramavaf | 15

#5967705 - Saturday 7 June 2014 11:06

bonus points for boldness and creating controversy like all art shod

By rybaby23 | 8

#5967258 - Saturday 7 June 2014 1:59

Man that sounds like a sticky situation!

Reply

stupidface15 | 16

#5967281 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:06

i agree tbh

Reply

Metagame | 12

#5967316 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:29

Is that supposed to be a pun? This FML does not involve gum, glue, or stickers, FYI.

Reply

sterling1113 | 15

#5967325 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:46

Semen. Semen is sticky.
It was just a bad joke.

Reply

pjsr | 32

#5967335 - Saturday 7 June 2014 3:07

If only there was a button to express that, #18!

By stupidface15 | 16

#5967265 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:02

homophobe

By hdecorah | 7

#5967267 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:03

Wedding crashers: "No, you can't have it back Todd. It was a gift."

By WeskersSexslave | 15

#5967269 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:04

omg they drew Yaoi! my favorite art subject ever!!! I remember drawing Wesker from resident evil and my boyfriend making out >XD

Reply

ninjuh_wingman | 29

#5967280 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:06

Ummm....ok?

Reply

doodlecloud | 26

#5967306 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:20

I think it's only really yaoi if it's drawn in a manga style...which I don't THINK this was...but thanks for letting us know you like yaoi..?

Reply

rocker_chick23 | 27

#5967328 - Saturday 7 June 2014 2:54

You want a medal #14? No one cares.

Reply

cryssycakesx3 | 22

#5967355 - Saturday 7 June 2014 3:29

what a cool story though.

Reply

THswagPLAYA | 1

#7382522 - Sunday 1 January 2017 17:41

ha boyfriend